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 Post subject: Re: 4 mg jump
PostPosted: Tue Feb 07, 2017 5:12 pm 
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Hi Glester,

Just read your story. I take my hat off to you pal. Amazing! Keep it up fella you are almost there.

There will be ups and downs ahead im sure but it must get better. As you likely know benzo addiction is a f**ker. Id say worse in some ways than opiates. A real "im going mad" wd. More headf**k. Go easy matey.

Ive bounced from getting off opiates with high benzo use and other stuff. Then back heavily addicted to benzos, then back to opiates. Tried kratom and benzos to get off again.(xans, blues, kpins, loraz) Somas, trams. Foolishly tried all combos in an attempt to get clean. Round and round in circles. All ended in disaster!

Tramadol is nasty too. Been there. Its all crap.

Sounds like you know what you are doing. I've been on 12mg of subs for 2 years and havent looked back. But now I want off like you. Ive Done the easy bit going straight to 8mg.

Your jump gives me courage and I really admire you. Unless you have been there you will never understand like you say. Like living in hell!

Take care buddy and again "well done" you really should be proud!

Stay safe, be happy and keep smiling Glester!


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 Post subject: Re: 4 mg jump
PostPosted: Wed Feb 08, 2017 4:14 am 
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39 days! I finally feel calm. I can watch a movie without tossing and turning and shaking all over the place. My sleep is better too. I eat less than I used to but better quality. The more I start to feel better, the more motivated I get to do good things for myself. Better choices.
I don't think I could have made it any harder for myself. I'm so glad I stopped everything. Stopping Suboxone at a high dose and Benzos at the same time was hard. I believe the worst has past. I didn't have anyone to talk to because my real friends here don't do drugs and I didn't have the heart to tell my family I've been on subs all this time. This forum really helped me,so I hope someone quiting like I did can read my thread. It truly helped to have someone to talk to.


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 Post subject: Re: 4 mg jump
PostPosted: Wed Feb 08, 2017 4:19 am 
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Oh and thanks"Freshstart1". That feels good to here. I would suggest doing a taper. Lol. Being sick, uncomfortable, anxious, etc for pretty much 30 days seems and is a very long time. I don't recommend it. Thanks again, really means a lot.


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 Post subject: Re: 4 mg jump
PostPosted: Wed Feb 08, 2017 4:49 am 
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I cant even begin to imagine Glester. 30 days. Your an inspiration mate! Hang around, keep posting!

I suspect, but hope not that you will still rollercoaster but the good days will just get longer and better.

When I feel down, rough I have a photo of myself in A&E, on a drip and in agony, from precipated withdrawels. I think I am no where near as bad as that so this is just a little blip, expected. Then roll with it! next day is better. Please dont ever go back pal. You have come so so far and theres lots of proud people. Enjoy you life! Be happy. This is no rehersal.

Enjoy time with your kids and family. The lil ones grow up so quickly :( .

"Big thumbs up and man hug"


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 Post subject: Re: 4 mg jump
PostPosted: Wed Feb 08, 2017 5:00 am 
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Theres a few phone apps I use that I find good. I was a bit sceptical at first. All free

One is called "positive thinking" you can put any caption and photo in and it comes up whenever you set it too.

I put my own words in to remind myself of things and pull me back down to earth.

I have one of my son with a caption. My mum, wife, me really ill. All words and phrases that really mean something. I find it really good to just take 5 out and think about each one.

Another is "headspace" relaxation techniques. Really simple but effective.

Last one "The worry box" Im a worrier. I get myself in knots over anaything. Something silly spirals into a big issue. Thing is it really isnt. This app pulls me back into line and practice makes perfect.

Dont laugh but I also have names for my Worry, anxiety etc. A councellor advised.

When they come into my head I tell them to "Piss off" I'm not playing this game today, leave me alone hey!" Throw it out! Kick it over the fence!

Might help you and others so thought id share.


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 Post subject: Re: 4 mg jump
PostPosted: Thu Feb 09, 2017 6:50 pm 
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AFreshStart1 wrote:
Theres a few phone apps I use that I find good. I was a bit sceptical at first. All free

One is called "positive thinking" you can put any caption and photo in and it comes up whenever you set it too.

I put my own words in to remind myself of things and pull me back down to earth.

I have one of my son with a caption. My mum, wife, me really ill. All words and phrases that really mean something. I find it really good to just take 5 out and think about each one.

Another is "headspace" relaxation techniques. Really simple but effective.

Last one "The worry box" Im a worrier. I get myself in knots over anaything. Something silly spirals into a big issue. Thing is it really isnt. This app pulls me back into line and practice makes perfect.

Dont laugh but I also have names for my Worry, anxiety etc. A councellor advised.

When they come into my head I tell them to "Piss off" I'm not playing this game today, leave me alone hey!" Throw it out! Kick it over the fence!

Might help you and others so thought id share.


These are such great ideas and such an inspiration! I hope that Jess and Jenn, who are trying to quite smoking see what you wrote!

Amy

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 Post subject: Re: 4 mg jump
PostPosted: Fri Feb 10, 2017 1:25 pm 
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That worry box sounds awesome, I definitely wanna try that and also the positive thinking one.

For a few yrs now, I really really try to find the positive in any situation I'm frustrated with. Like me being sick last week, I kept reminding myself that it could be worse, I could have had the stomach virus going around. Even if I have a bad day, I think, could be worse if u were using again....aren't u glad u have normal problems to deal with again jenn?

U can literally find a positive in anything, u just gotta remind urself. So that's really helped me, I haven't applied that to stopping smoking yet lol but I really really need to.

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 Post subject: Re: 4 mg jump
PostPosted: Sun Feb 12, 2017 5:12 am 
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Hiya

Slight change of subject I know. Im a heavy smoker that wants to give up too. I have in the past for over a year

Again though I took the easy out and took a drug called "Champix" jesus this worked well. No cravings, bit of a miricle. This was before I was taking illegal or prescribed drugs. Its free in the UK from gps.

I tried it again recently whilst on bupe and had side effects. I also didnt want to put anymore mind alterating drugs into my body.

Vaping seems a good way to go for me next time.

Good luck with it girls! Lets be honest with ourselves giving up smoking "should" be a bit of a breeze compared to our other vices :D Sure you will do it when your ready! One thing at a time hey.

I also used to like the occasional very lightly packed J. Not anymore when on bupe. Its orrid! On bupe I dont enjoy anything I shouldnt lol.

Wish it had that effect on my excessive smoking of dirty roll ups.

Good luck!


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 Post subject: Re: 4 mg jump
PostPosted: Sun Feb 12, 2017 7:00 pm 
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SisterMorphine wrote:
Glester1 wrote:
Thanks I think I will. Ever heard of Redicalm? Google it. It's all natural for stress and I anxiety. I have to order online. That's my only concern.

I used to buy "Nerve Tonic" at the local herbal remedy store. it's probably similar.


i'm not understanding the worry about ordering it online?

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 Post subject: Re: 4 mg jump
PostPosted: Sun Feb 12, 2017 11:30 pm 
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Glester1 wrote:
39 days! I finally feel calm. I can watch a movie without tossing and turning and shaking all over the place. My sleep is better too. I eat less than I used to but better quality. The more I start to feel better, the more motivated I get to do good things for myself. Better choices.
I don't think I could have made it any harder for myself. I'm so glad I stopped everything. Stopping Suboxone at a high dose and Benzos at the same time was hard. I believe the worst has past. I didn't have anyone to talk to because my real friends here don't do drugs and I didn't have the heart to tell my family I've been on subs all this time. This forum really helped me,so I hope someone quiting like I did can read my thread. It truly helped to have someone to talk to.


Hey Glester, would you do me a favor and tell them now that you were on sub the whole time? As a favor to me and your fellow addicts? Because people need to know that their loved ones have needed to be on this medication for an amount of time. It doesn't help anyone with an opiate addiction that family members not know how hard it is and how hard it is to stop on your own. People shouldn't think that the addicts in their families were able to just detox from opiates and then be abstinent forever. Please at least consider telling them. Thanks, buddy.

Amy

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 Post subject: Re: 4 mg jump
PostPosted: Mon Feb 13, 2017 12:26 am 
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I do plan on telling them eventually. My family is difficult. I'm the only addict in my family. I'm sure I'll tell them at some point but I'm not ready to now. I'm sorry.
I'm still going strong and doing good. Starting work helped and I walk 3 miles a night listening to music. Music really helps escape.


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 Post subject: Re: 4 mg jump
PostPosted: Mon Feb 13, 2017 12:30 am 
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Glester1 wrote:
I do plan on telling them eventually. My family is difficult. I'm the only addict in my family. I'm sure I'll tell them at some point but I'm not ready to now. I'm sorry.
I'm still going strong and doing good. Starting work helped and I walk 3 miles a night listening to music. Music really helps escape.

was your family aware of your addiction? mine is/was not.

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 Post subject: Re: 4 mg jump
PostPosted: Mon Feb 13, 2017 2:11 am 
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Eventually is soon enough. :)

Amy

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 Post subject: Re: 4 mg jump
PostPosted: Sat Feb 18, 2017 8:44 pm 
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They never new while I was using until I admitted it because I needed help. Also when I got arrested. I hid it from my family during each run. They've known for years now I have been an addict for 13 years. Telling them about Suboxone may disappoint them cause they won't understand. They were always there for me but don't have the experience to understand. I guess that's a good way to put it.
I appreciate everyone who responded to my posts. I didn't have anyone to talk to through all that withdrawal. That made things difficult. To be able to vent on this forum made a big difference. It's been 49 days and the only thing I feel now is fatigue, from being out of shape. Lol. Thanks again. Very much!


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 Post subject: Re: 4 mg jump
PostPosted: Mon Feb 20, 2017 2:07 am 
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You're welcome, buddy!

Amy

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 Post subject: Re: 4 mg jump
PostPosted: Sun Apr 30, 2017 6:20 pm 
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Well I'm back. I have kind of bad news. I quit Suboxone after 4 years cold turkey off 4 mg. It was a terrible 40 days or so. It seemed to plateau there. I just felt crappy all the time. Around day 100 off subs I did a really small piece. I needed some relief. That was March. I did like a .25 piece once a week all of March then about every day in April. Went up to a millagram it so. Really just about 3 weeks. Now it's been 7 days off it but I did a few Norcos. What's crazy is even on day 5 I didn't feel them. Not enough to like anyway. I'm glad cause I don't really care to start that up again. I just can't seem to get my energy back. I'm severely depressed too. I cry at will all day. I have to hold back at work sometimes. I don't even know what I'm sad about. I just feel like I just want to let go. Not use or anything, just tired of fighting myself at work, meaning the battle to be there, I have a high labor job. It's very difficult most days. I'm falling asleep in the van on the way to the shop. It sucks. It just seems like I can't get better. I know the relapse didn't help. I did the Norcos cause I was scared of having sub withdrawal even after just a few weeks at a low dose. You're mind never forgets. I think I took quite a few steps back. I've lost my confidence. I feel like I can't wrestle with this anymore. If I had insurance I might go to a sub doctor. I'm just sick of feeling this way. I'm most likely not going to a sub doctor. It just sounds good. I bought a car and still feel the same sadness all the time. Fatigue too. I'm told and researched that it can take 4-6 months to get back to normal. I'm sure my relapse didn't help. I have gabapentin but I think it makes me tired. Maybe I'm not taking enough? I don't know how much to take. I have 300 mg and I took 2 at 8 am and 2 at 10 am and helped a friend move for 3 hours, yawning the whole time, came home n slept for 3 hours. I slept 9 hours last night. Was I tired from not taking enough or too much. I haven't been taking it. When I was detoxing at the end of January I took a few and it helped dramatically. I went walking and all. Why wont it help now? I just want to have some energy!! I'm sick of this. Please help with a response. Especially if you know me from before. Thanks


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 Post subject: Re: 4 mg jump
PostPosted: Wed Jul 19, 2017 1:49 pm 
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I jumped from 16 after a year and kicked with no benzos. Heres the deal. Hardcore withdrawal for 21 to 30 days. Months 1 to 2 youll notice mild improvement but physical torture will still be present. 2 3 months more improvement but still hating life. Months 3 to 6 youll notice major improvement. After a year you should be okay. Also I got off valium after 20mg a day for year 8 months ago before I kicked 16 subs. I still get paws. Please be careful. Benzos are FAR worse than heroin after long term use, uniquely sadistically cruel, the only detox besides alcohol that can kill you and lasts for a while. You have my love and support I just dont sugarcoat my experience strength and hope. Ps fatigue will linger the longest symptom wise. I could barely walk yawning all day for 4 months


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 Post subject: Re: 4 mg jump
PostPosted: Sat Jul 22, 2017 10:59 pm 
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Yeah coming off opioids completely is no walk in the park. approx 90-95% of people relapse, no matter what method you're using - coming off heroin straight, coming off Suboxone, rehab, NA. Doesn't really matter. Opioids are a real bitch.

Don't beat yourself up.

To a degree I think luck can come into it too. I've heard from people who once came off Sub and had a nightmare of a time every time, sometimes for weeks on end, and kept relapsing. Then they tried one more time, and said it was relatively easy and they haven't looked back. Brain chemistry is funny like that. It can be quite unpredictable.

Also some luck may be required in terms of life circumstance. ie if your partner passed away in the months after you come off, that's a real shit-go and it's understandable that it'd put a lot of strain or undermine your recovery. But have a couple of good years in a row, and maybe you've built enough of a foundation in being 100% abstinent that you can actually take a few hits to your life without crumbling.


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 Post subject: Re: 4 mg jump
PostPosted: Sun Jul 23, 2017 12:04 am 
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Glester1 wrote:
Well I'm back. I have kind of bad news. I quit Suboxone after 4 years cold turkey off 4 mg. It was a terrible 40 days or so. It seemed to plateau there. I just felt crappy all the time. Around day 100 off subs I did a really small piece. I needed some relief. That was March. I did like a .25 piece once a week all of March then about every day in April. Went up to a millagram it so. Really just about 3 weeks. Now it's been 7 days off it but I did a few Norcos. What's crazy is even on day 5 I didn't feel them. Not enough to like anyway. I'm glad cause I don't really care to start that up again. I just can't seem to get my energy back. I'm severely depressed too. I cry at will all day. I have to hold back at work sometimes. I don't even know what I'm sad about. I just feel like I just want to let go. Not use or anything, just tired of fighting myself at work, meaning the battle to be there, I have a high labor job. It's very difficult most days. I'm falling asleep in the van on the way to the shop. It sucks. It just seems like I can't get better. I know the relapse didn't help. I did the Norcos cause I was scared of having sub withdrawal even after just a few weeks at a low dose. You're mind never forgets. I think I took quite a few steps back. I've lost my confidence. I feel like I can't wrestle with this anymore. If I had insurance I might go to a sub doctor. I'm just sick of feeling this way. I'm most likely not going to a sub doctor. It just sounds good. I bought a car and still feel the same sadness all the time. Fatigue too. I'm told and researched that it can take 4-6 months to get back to normal. I'm sure my relapse didn't help. I have gabapentin but I think it makes me tired. Maybe I'm not taking enough? I don't know how much to take. I have 300 mg and I took 2 at 8 am and 2 at 10 am and helped a friend move for 3 hours, yawning the whole time, came home n slept for 3 hours. I slept 9 hours last night. Was I tired from not taking enough or too much. I haven't been taking it. When I was detoxing at the end of January I took a few and it helped dramatically. I went walking and all. Why wont it help now? I just want to have some energy!! I'm sick of this. Please help with a response. Especially if you know me from before. Thanks



Gleister, I'm so sorry I didn't see this before now! You have to remember that you are gripped by an insidious, chronic, and progressive brain disorder! I know you don't have insurance, but please consider trying to find a suboxone doctor. I have to ask, during the 4 years you were on suboxone, what else did you do for your recovery. I wish that suboxone was a cure for addiction, but it just isn't. What it does is give you time and space to work hard on recovery without having to deal with the obsessive craving for your drug of choice.

We are in a lifetime battle! Do you think that Dr. Junig thought that he would relapse after seven years of sobriety and have to start all over?? Of course not! But it happens to us. Dr. Junig, like a lot of us, did have to start over and work on himself and his addiction. You may have to do the same thing, but at least you know what can work! There is just no getting around the fact that an addict has to work on themselves and probably for a long time.

You are worth taking the steps necessary to get your addiction under control again. Don't you listen to anyone who says that you're not doing it right or that you can only be on the only medication that controls your addiction for x amount of time. You need to do what's right for you! I hope you are still reading replies. I hate to think that you feel through the cracks when you needed us.

Amy

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