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 Post subject: Re: 4 mg jump
PostPosted: Wed Jan 25, 2017 5:23 pm 
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Thank you for telling us about your experience, Jess! So helpful!

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 Post subject: Re: 4 mg jump
PostPosted: Wed Jan 25, 2017 6:46 pm 
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I listen to mood relaxing music, especially at night. Helps shut my head down. Day 25. Don't get upset but I got enough kpin to last 4-5 days. I can't remember when I got them exactly. I know I run out tomorrow. It takes 2-3 weeks to get addicted to them according to Internet, medical journals, etc. I figured 5 days won't hurt. Tomorrow I run out. I don't really feel them anyway. Still not myself even with those. Still no appetite but I force salads down and sandwiches. Sometimes soups. I started riding my bike today. I'm gonna walk around tonight when it cools off. I start work next Tues but my boss knows what's up so it may only be Tues. Kinda like a tryout. I hope I'm OK or tolerable by then. That will be 31 days off Suboxone.


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 Post subject: Re: 4 mg jump
PostPosted: Wed Jan 25, 2017 7:32 pm 
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Well I found some trazadone. Dumping the kpins. That's good right?


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 Post subject: Re: 4 mg jump
PostPosted: Wed Jan 25, 2017 9:42 pm 
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I'm not totally sure, but I don't want you to feel like you're going to be yelled at if you detox differently than one of us would. I really don't know the pharmacology of everything. I'm learning as I go. One of the doctors may be able to chime in on what is better or what is worse.

I just wanted to offer up something evidence-based that would probably help you. I know that some view meditation as too hippie or too loosey goosey, but it's a really ancient practice for a reason. It works for lots of people.

Most of our members who detoxed off suboxone do not have extreme anxiety after a month off the medication. So I tend to think that the problem is mostly psychological. That's not any kind of insult. A lot of the reason we start using in the first place is psychological.

I want you to feel better!

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 Post subject: Re: 4 mg jump
PostPosted: Wed Jan 25, 2017 11:20 pm 
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Thanks Amy. I also got Gabapentin which has taken before and Hydroxyzine HCL and trazodone 100 milligram. I read on here that people have taken those things from their doctors to their sub withdrawal and it helped them. I know I'm at the tailend. I think my anxiety now is caused maybe a little from the end of the Suboxone withdrawal but from messing with Benzos in between. I tried spacing them out far enough but I'm sure it set me back. I really appreciate your response. Thanks Amy


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 Post subject: Re: 4 mg jump
PostPosted: Thu Jan 26, 2017 1:23 am 
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You can do this, buddy! You are making decisions that are helping you succeed!

I know that it's hard to see a light at the end of the tunnel when you are still feeling cruddy. I bet stopping the klonopin will help a lot with your anxiety. It tends to just make anxiety more of a roller coaster. I hope the trazadone will give you some peace. The good thing about it is that it is great for anxiety and will probably help you sleep better.

I also want to let you know that you can PM any of us mods if you need some extra reinforcement or encouragement. We might not always know the answer to every question, but we're here to help. :)

Amy

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 Post subject: Re: 4 mg jump
PostPosted: Thu Jan 26, 2017 1:47 am 
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Thanks Amy. That's very motivating. It feels good to have meds that will help me that aren't a narcotic. I really appreciate your responses. They help more than you know.


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 Post subject: Re: 4 mg jump
PostPosted: Thu Jan 26, 2017 1:00 pm 
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I know lots of ppl say that the Gabetin (spelled wrong lol) helps a lot. So that should help u feel better. And to echo Amy, please don't think any of us would get upset with u for any choice u make. I totally get this anxiety ur having, it reminds me so much of what I went through in and after rehab. Like I said, nobody else in that rehab felt like I did. I thought I was losing it because I was having this horrible anxiety.

I do think some ppl have a more severe reaction to anxiety after stopping opiates, I'm definitely one of those ppl. With me, I do think it was all from me mentally just literally spinning out of control and I could not stop it. Ur not alone buddy, we totally get it :)

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 Post subject: Re: 4 mg jump
PostPosted: Thu Jan 26, 2017 3:16 pm 
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I've probably gone through at least 10 opiate detoxes in the past. This is my first one coming off Suboxone. I have never had anxiety once in my life. This is the first time I've ever experienced it like this. I only took half a trazodone last night, then three gabapentins this morning. I feel almost normal. No klonapins either. I took them for 4 days I think. I didn't like the way they made me feel if I even felt them at all. I'm glad my friend had whatever he said I got. I only take the hydroxyzine at night. It all seems to be helping and being 26 days off Suboxone is probably helping too. I can't wait to be off everything. I have that membership at the gym I got that I haven't even gone to yet. I haven't felt good enough to go but I may start now. I'm going to give this a few days and see how it goes. I'll keep exercising around the neighborhood. Thanks you guys for everything


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 Post subject: Re: 4 mg jump
PostPosted: Thu Jan 26, 2017 7:58 pm 
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Great news that you've just about achieved normalcy! Great job! We want to keep hearing from you, but it's also normal for people who get better to stop posting so often, so we will understand if you don't post as often. Mind you, that's not what we want from our end, but we want you to feel like you don't need us as much for your own sake. Make sense?

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 Post subject: Re: 4 mg jump
PostPosted: Sat Jan 28, 2017 3:39 pm 
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Makes perfect sense. I need a new mattress. That's really my bug problem now. I'm sleeping because of the trazadone, but when I wake up my back is killing me. I think I'm getting good rest. I may go get a new one today. I have to get a queen due to my height. On another note...

My anxiety is gone. Now it's like I just don't know what to do. Work is slow but I'm cheap only on myself so I am very good at saving. I need a mattress. That will give me something to do. I never mentioned, my dad died right before Thanksgiving. I've had to deal with that too. Very sad. We were close. Between the sub and benzo detox, I've had that spinning around in my head. Noone in my family knows I've been on subs. When I here my mom's voice it's very difficult to not breakdown. I'm a Mama's boy. I don't care how that sounds. I have a great family. 3 siblings too. I just have this exhausted feeling. But my bed sucks. I'm going to take a shower and see how I feel. I might just go for a walk. Maybe drive to mattress warehouse and see what they got. Idk... I'm still not 100%. Maybe like 85%? Something like that. Anyway, thanks again. I'll keep posting.


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 Post subject: Re: 4 mg jump
PostPosted: Tue Jan 31, 2017 7:01 pm 
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Day 31. I think I'm finally over the hump. Now I'm just bored. I start work in 2 weeks. At least I'll know I'll be ready. I ended up getting an air mattress with a pillow top and a built in pump. It's 22" tall but I'm gonna put it on my box spring. It comes on the second. Now I'm just rambling. Anyway talk to u guys soon.


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 Post subject: Re: 4 mg jump
PostPosted: Thu Feb 02, 2017 5:30 pm 
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OK so it's day 33. I keep having good and bad days. My face feels flushed and I feel like some anxiety is back. I still eat but it always upsets my stomach. I don't know how I feel worse today that 5 days ago. Doesn't the paws come later? I just want to feel normal again. I've also had a sore throat the last couple days. Maybe I cought a cold or something. Idk.


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 Post subject: Re: 4 mg jump
PostPosted: Thu Feb 02, 2017 11:39 pm 
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I think this is a case of two steps forward, one step back. Does that make sense? It doesn't necessarily mean that you are experiencing PAWS. Going forward you will have some days when you don't feel 100%. That's very normal and to be expected. You didn't become addicted overnight and you can't expect to have it all out of your system so quickly.

Keep your chin up! You are doing a great job!

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 Post subject: Re: 4 mg jump
PostPosted: Fri Feb 03, 2017 12:52 pm 
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Thanks Amy. The best I've felt is maybe 80%. The past 5 days more like 50%. I keep eating even though it's difficult to motivate myself to do anything. I usually feel better after a shower and temporarily while outside. I quit caffeine too.
My wife called me from jail last night, we've been separated for 11 months, cause I'm helping her while she is in there and she said Suboxone stores in fat and bone. I have plenty of both. Day 36, Friday. No Benzos for two weeks at least. Ugh..I just wanna get through this. She suggested I see a psychiatrist and try to get gabapentin and trazadone or something. Do you think that's a good idea? Thanks for your support! It really helps.


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 Post subject: Re: 4 mg jump
PostPosted: Sat Feb 04, 2017 2:12 am 
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I think it's a great idea for you to see a psychiatrist, especially one that is well-versed in addiction medicine. He or she could prescribe what might be needed to help you get through this portion of your detox. Try to make an appointment soon!!

Amy

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 Post subject: Re: 4 mg jump
PostPosted: Sat Feb 04, 2017 7:55 pm 
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Thanks I think I will. Ever heard of Redicalm? Google it. It's all natural for stress and I anxiety. I have to order online. That's my only concern.


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 Post subject: Re: 4 mg jump
PostPosted: Sun Feb 05, 2017 1:03 am 
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Glester1,

Yours is an amazing thread!! Do you know how well you've done?? Freaking amazing!!! Lots are reading and recognize your story as similar to theirs. PLEASE go further w your discovery and experiences... !

I may not be able to to accomplish all you can w your stature and wt. but Ive read your honest journey and thank you for that...very helpful for those here and those that will follow you.

I do encourage you and others to seek out the why you got addicted... I did both. I got addicted and sought out the reasons why... am now off bup a few yrs and very grateful for it and the chance for recovery....

Whatever each of our journey is, know that there are folks in this universe and beyond that care about you and want you to stay in recovery.

I ask you to to keep trying... and that means hoping you seek out professional care...

I could not have done it alone... You might be surprised at the NON judgemental folks out there! I found LOTS!! Wishing you my very best, P

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 Post subject: Re: 4 mg jump
PostPosted: Sun Feb 05, 2017 2:04 pm 
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Day 36 is today. Had the math wrong. I woke up feeling different. Everyday I wake up it takes an hour or two for the anxiety to start. But today was different. I hope it continues. The trailer I pull behind seems smaller, lighter.
That was a great response pelican. I really appreciate it. My friend sees a therapist/ psychiatrist and it's on a sliding scale. I'll talk to him and maybe see the same woman. He said she's great. No narcotics if I tell her I'm an addict which is the first thing I do when I went to the ER or see any doctor.
I'm working tomorrow. Pressure washing a 3 story home in kiawah island. If you know golf you know kiawah. It sounds big but for my first job coming back it's a perfect job. My boss and I are going. We have skills so it should only take a few hours. Lol. I'm trying not to look past today but I am a little nervous and excited about tomorrow. I think it'll do me good to get some hard work done. Even 3 hours of it.
We'll be busy pretty much the rest of the year starting mid February. I'm pretty confident I'll be myself my then. I'm thinking work tomorrow will push me through. I can work through fatigue which at worst should be all I feel.
I slept 10 hours last night. Woke up once. My sleep was longer, had dreams, woke up feeling better? They must go together. Usually I don't want to get out of bed. Today I got up wanting to shower n go.
I'm also looking forward to saving the $4-$600 a month I spent on subs and Benzos. That's over $5000 a year. I'd rather buy a car. Like I said I'm very good at saving even when I did subs that's why I could afford to take 6 weeks off work, except for Tomorrow.
I'm not going to give myself enough time to think about it tomorrow morning. I'm gonna wake up, shower and hygein, get my gear n split. The good thing about SC is it stays cold till March. It's easier to work outside cold than hot when not 100%.
Anyway that's it for now. I didn't know my post did anything for anyone. I guess for everyone jumping off less than me should be confident it will not be as bad and if you take Benzos, either see a professional before you quit to get a substitute, or quit before you quit Suboxone. Unless you plan on taking Benzos before , during,and after. I wanted to stop everything.


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 Post subject: Re: 4 mg jump
PostPosted: Tue Feb 07, 2017 4:02 pm 
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Glester1 wrote:
Thanks I think I will. Ever heard of Redicalm? Google it. It's all natural for stress and I anxiety. I have to order online. That's my only concern.

I used to buy "Nerve Tonic" at the local herbal remedy store. it's probably similar.

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