Thanks for your reply. I'm doing this all alone. It's not that something is mentally making me anxious, the withdrawal anxiety wakes me up. It's terrible. I know I messed up by taking 2 mg Xanax but after a walk this morning and a full day of misery I had to know if the anxiety was caused from subs of Xanax. It helped. I was at least able to eat finally. I still feel a mild anxiety but nothing like all day. I just hope I can sleep tonight. I got some tramadol. Only 12. Not enough to need them but to help push me through the benzo detox. I figure I have a few days still. I thought I was getting trazadone, got tramadol on accident. I didn't check till I got home. I think I prefer tramadol. It just makes me feel like 85% instead of 40%. Today was just awful. It's now 1am on day 20. I just need to make it to day 30. I really feel lonely, afraid. I'm from Florida, moved out here,SC, 3 years ago with my wife that betrayed me in every way. We've been separated for 11 months. I only did subs, worked, came home. She was the opposite. She became a different person when we got here. Stole $700 out of my wallet, $2000 from the guy that owns the house, leaving her was great, but being with her kept me isolated cause I was afraid to take her anywhere cause of her stealing for crack. I don't like any speed. She's in jail now. Anyway, that's partly why I'm alone. I'd rather be alone then with her, but being alone doing this detox by myself is very difficult, plus I love her so I'm helping her in jail. I'm dealing with her attorney. It's just an overwhelming month.

ouch. i'm not sure that your wife is good for you. she sounds like drama thru and thru. and also an addict? seriously is there a codependent spouse/so thread here?

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Get your shit together and live your life." Black Snake Moan

We've been separated for 11 months. We just talk still. She has a boyfriend which is great. Yes she always has to have a man. I have no problem being single, it just would've been nice to have a devoted spouse or girlfriend to help and just be here for me, especially this month.

I'm still getting days of crazy anxiety. I jumped off too high a dose. I was told this could last up to 30 days. Today I woke up and the anxiety was crazy. It's crazy how long it's lasting. The anxiety from the sub withdrawal is so bad that I took a 1 mg Xanax and it did nothing. I'm just ready for this month to end. 21 days in. 9 left worse case scenario. Ugh...

Actually it's day 22. Almost over

Hang in there Glester! The anxiety was definitely the worst part for me, even jumping from .25 but it does get better!

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~Leavens

Thanks, I hear that from most. Certainly it can't last more than 30 days. I try to excercise but it's very difficult. I just wish this would end already. I'm ready to feel back to myself. Tomorrow is 23 days. I plan on walking around my neighborhood.. It's been raining for days here. I need out of my house.

I know what you mean, I'm from Ga so we've pretty much been stuck inside bc of the rain all weekend and without power half the time. Not being able to go out and be active drives me crazy lol my best advice would just be to stay active and positive, I'm a little over 7 months off and the bad days eventually become fewer and farther between. It's definitely taken me a lot of patience and persistence but for me it is absolutely worth it in the long run.

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~Leavens

Hey Glester,
I saw your recent post on another thread. I'm sorry its still so tough and that its a very difficult time for you right now. I wish it weren't so. I can tell you it does get better. I know that might seem impossible to believe but it does get better. We see it here all the time. Just when it seems to be too hard, it gets better. Folks do well w hot baths. yes, guys too. hot baths. over and over. One guy drove his landlord crazy w running baths. The only other thing I can think of is if you have access to a walkin in clinic for a clonidine script. I know you've had a script before. Very helpful for anxiety. Wishing you my best bc this is all so hard, Pelican

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Did well on Suboxone. Stopped May 2011.
Stopping went well -- its the staying stopped -- where the real work begins.
Coming here 'keeps recovery green'.

I live in SC and the 3 walk in clinics around here tell me to go to the e.r. Very frustrating. It's this anxiety that's driving me nuts. I just can't seem to get help from anywhere. I don't want another $600 ER bill. Last time they tried to only give me Flexeril. I'm like I don't think so. My BP was so high I knew it would keep happening. I got 14 chlonodin, 14 Flexeril, ibuprofen 600, some meds for throwing up, but I didn't fill that one. It's day 23. Do you guys think this anxiety will last more than 30 days? I go back to work Feb 1st. I pressure wash mansions in kiawah island and do windows, professionally, not like a maid. Nothing wrong with a maid. Just saying. I got some 1 mg Klonopin. Not enough to get hooked. The anxiety from subs is so strong, I took 3 mg of Klonopin an hour ago n feel no different. I'm just really struggling. I'll end with the same as always, the hardest part is being alone, doing this alone. I just hope by Feb 1st I'm good for work. I can work through fatigue,but I'm scared to go to work with this anxiety. The rain stopped. Walked a mile, felt like 10. Ugh....

End of day 23. The only symptoms I'm experiencing is extreme still. I haven't done a benzo in so long it's gotta be from the Suboxone still. This is taking forever. I can't sleep or eat much due to the anxiety. Teejay says 14 days I'd be getting better. I was praying that was the case. Dose anybody know how long this anxiety will last? I mean I'm after 3 weeks and it's still very strong. I get out and walk around but it is very difficult. I couldn't take it anymore and got some 1 mg Klonopin today. They knocked the edge off but not completely. I wasn't expecting it to last this long. I haven't done a benzo in a while. I'm been done with them for I think 10 days. I'm losing track. I think I did my last Ativan at day 13. I have done one 1 mg Xanax two days ago. Either way I went 7 days at least since without a benzo. I was off them. The Suboxone anxiety is the worst. It just won't go away. Does anyone have any insight how long the anxiety will last? I start work next week. I hope it's gone by then.

Hey Glester. Just wanted to say hang in there. And that all the benzos (Xanax, klonopin, Ativan) may be like "taking 2 steps back" ya know? I'm not saying your anxiety isn't caused by the subs, but taking the benzos periodically could very well be making it worse and dragging the anxiety out longer than it would normally be (with just the sub withdrawal alone.) I'm not a medical professional by any means, just giving my honest opinion in hopes that I can help you somehow.

I know it gets lonely with no support from a spouse or girlfriend/boyfriend, and you may be wishing you had a significant other to be cheering you on, but you just gotta put your recovery first. You need to be your biggest cheerleader! and if that seems hard, you always have us!!! YOU CAN DO THIS!! Don't give up! Everyone's body reacts to withdrawal differently, I think it helps if you don't put a timer on it, just take each day and worry about getting through that one day (for today).

Besides....you can worry about tomorrow, TOMORROW !!!


You got this. Stay strong! Hugs!

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"Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, Anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending." -Unknown

Glester1,

It is doubtful the Suboxone is causing your anxiety. The benzo's you took have a really long rebound effect that just about doubles your levels. Think of it as a swing. One drug swings you up, you stop, it swings you back further than the middle ground you're used to in being w/o any drugs. Benzo's reduce anxiety, therefore it will swing too far the other way and cause much more anxiety than you had before. Get it? The Sub may play a small part but it will be small.

And please tell me you're not still taking the Tramadol. If you are, STOP it now! It is an opiate too and will only delay you getting back to normal. In fact, some people say the withdrawal from Tramadol is worse than Suboxone. I was on both Hydrocodone & Tramadol when I stopped and induced onto Suboxone. Sub helped with both although I felt really weird for about a week or two.

The only way you're going to get well is to stop all the drugs completely go a natural route. We here never condone using Benzo's for w/d's anymore. We used to suggest it as a comfort med but not anymore. It is just too awful a drug.

For loneliness, maybe seek out some NA meetings or any other place where addicts meet. You'll make friends very quickly.

Keep us posted,

rule

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Don't take yourself so damn seriously

Haven't taken tramedol in a few days. I was worried taking the Klonopin would set me back. Looking at withdrawal periods for Benzos, I went well past both. That's why I told myself it must be the Suboxone. How could I be feeling anxiety from Xanax when it's been so long, kpins too. I lost track of when I stopped each. My anxiety is so bad that the 1 mg kpins I got barely touch it. That's also part in why I assumed it was subs. I said to myself today I wonder where I'd be now if I quit Suboxone with no Benzos. I know I quit Xanax a week after I started, but did one 1 mg in between the last two weeks. So I am pretty positive the anxiety wouldn't be caused from that. I'm doing the kpin 1 mg twice a day for 4 days. It does say symptoms can last up to 30 days, physical symptoms. I did jump off a high dose. Idk...If the anxiety would just stop I could handle the rest. Na meetings, not sure about those but is a good idea. I appreciate you guys responding. Thanks again

Hey Glester

I'm sorry ur having this awful anxiety, I remember having horrible anxiety during and after rehab yrs and yrs ago. I've told that part of my life before and it had such an impact that I'll never forget it. I actually fear that ever happening to me again in the future.

When I got to rehab I did a 5 day detox (now this was way before Suboxone was part of my vocabulary). That detox involved several medications but one was valium. Valium 5 times a day the first day, 4 times a day the second day, 3 times a day the third day....u get the idea. During that detox, I was fine emotionally and physically. Once the detox was over is when I had the worst anxiety and depression I've ever had in my life. I had awful cravings too, but the anxiety was just as bad.

I couldn't eat, couldn't sleep, couldn't think and all I did was cry. They put me on Prozac, telling me it wasn't normal to feel that way 2 weeks after stopping everything.....total idiots. They threatened to kick me out for not eating and even had the other patients monitoring my eating. I couldn't eat because my anxiety was literally killing me.

I finally got out of rehab and did everything in my power to feel better. No doctors would help me because they thought I was drug seeking, so I gave up on that. It was miserable. After 5 or 6 months I relapsed. I convinced myself that my anxiety and depression was coming from my cravings. Heck I don't know if that's what it was or not, I honestly have no idea what was causing that to happen. I've just always thought that if I stop taking everything, that's how my mind is going to react.... I have no explanation for it.

I guess I just wanted to share that with u because I understand how miserable it can be. I'd look at everyone else in rehab and think....why can't I act and feel like they do, why am I the one going through this? I guess it was PAWS, I don't know. My heart goes out to u though and I hope u start feeling better.

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Jennifer

Thanks for that. When I'm sober I have no medical issues. I did opiates for 12 years. 3 times in 6 month rehabs, jail twice, homeless shelter 3 times, so I moved to SC from Florida to get away. That was just under 4 years ago. I came here already on Suboxone. Right now I don't have any cravings. I have a good job and a safe place to live. I just don't want to be dependent on anything anymore. I don't know anyone here with or that does pills. Trust me I know the tricks to find the people, I just don't talk about it to everyone. I know the few Klonopin I got may have been a bad choice I just couldn't take it anymore. The doc at the ER said anxiety is one of few symptoms that last the longest. My luck he wouldn't give me anything for it. The anxiety is so strong from the Suboxone that the Klonopin only take about half of it away. I'm gonna start breaking my last few in half. I keep reading for some people that jump off a high dose like me certain symptoms may last the full 30 days. I don't think they have anything to do with the Klonopin. I hadn't done any Benzos for 8 days or so so I know the anxiety isn't from them, plus if it was, a benzo would get rid of it and like I said, the Klonopin barely touched it. Makes it more tolerable. Still don't sleep good. Toss n turn. I fixed the tires on my bike today and plan on riding it till my legs stop working. Lol. I'm doing less each day, excercise more each day untill it's gone. I'm working next Tues. That will be day 31. I will be fatigued at work I'm sure but think getting back to work will help. My job is labor intensive. I pressure wash big homes which involves big ladders, roof climbing, etc.. I'm 6'4 310 lbs so that could be partly why this is taking so long. Everyone is gonna say stop the Klonopin, I felt like I was doing something wrong when I got them. I figure, hope I can taper the 10 I have left. 5 are 1 mg, 5 are .5's. It's hard to do less when a whole one doesn't barely touch it, that's where the excercise comes in. I just hope it works. Thanks for your response. I really appreciate it. The only people I know here have never done drugs so they don't understand. That's why I talk to you guys. Well, it's 12:30 am and I'm already getting pressure in my chest. I'll take melatonin and valarian root and it usually knocks me out. I don't want to get up early anyway. I'm drinking a bottle of water at least every hour. That about sums it up. Thanks again for your support. One more thing, I used to be fit. I wanna get back to that. Naturally feel good, natural energy. I quit coffee. For the record, don't drink coffee, espresso, if you wake up with anxiety. Thanks again

I just saw a news story tonight covering a study from Georgetown University on the effect of meditation on anxiety. This isn't some new agey advice apparently. Here's a link talking about the study:

http://gumc.georgetown.edu/news/mindful ... y-disorder

This study was conducted on patients with diagnoses of anxiety disorders, which indicates that these people have been suffering from anxiety for quite a while. The meditation lowered their anxiety after an 8 week block.

Now, the reaction to this scientific research by an addict may be less than overwhelming. We want to take a pill and have it go away. But you, Glester, are working toward a goal that includes little to no medication. So why not try the mindfulness meditation. Retraining your thinking is well within your brain's ability! Our brains are structured so that if we lose part of our brain we can make up for it with the brain's own neuroplasticity. I hope that you are willing to give this a try. You could be creating a life-long skill that can also help you with any future cravings.

It would also be very helpful to us if you could report back to us if daily meditation from a guide or a class might be able to help others here. I don't think that anyone here has ever done this wholeheartedly and then let us know if it could work for us. So many people here also have anxiety issues, particularly when they detox from buprenorphine. You could help many people by trying this out.

I hope you decide to do it.

Amy

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Done is better than perfect!

I've always wanted to try meditation! They tried to help us meditate in rehab but gave us no tools on breathing or anything. So I pretty much just sat there popping one eye open every once in a while to see what everyone else is doing lol!

I'm gonna research meditation, because I know I could benefit from it.

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Jennifer

I watch youtube guided meditation videos every single day. it is extremely helpful. I'm also very into ASMR videos. its a form of relaxation and its very effective if you allow your body and mind to relax. some people cant get into ASMR though but I think everyone should at least try if you really need it. the most viewed "ASMRtist" is a Russian woman named maria... her channel is named "GentleWhispering" give it a try! there are thousands of ASMR channels, and new ones being created every single day. So glad I discovered it.

P.S. if you do try the ASMR videos, make sure u are wearing headphones, its not necessary.. but highly recommended to get the most benefit

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"Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, Anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending." -Unknown

I will definitely check that out Jess, thank u so much for the info! Glester maybe u should give it a shot too, u never know

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Jennifer