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PostPosted: Mon Aug 08, 2011 10:36 am 
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Hi everyone.
Im glad I found this site. I actually linked here from the SuboxoneTaper site which is GREAT. I wanted to give out a blow by blow for people to see what might be their journey when they jump to zero sub. The more we help each other the better, My background was that I have a great family and job--but an addictive personality. I always liked that high feeling. I never got into pills, weed, etc, growing up--but I did alcohol alot--beginning in my senior year HS. When I got married I graduated to Vicdon that my mother was getting by the barrel. Everytime we visited her I would help myself to 30 or 40 and take them home. Eventually I was cut off that and moved to Tramadol--through a doc. Those things are very addictive and the WDs are terrible. So we finally decided to do the Suboxone thing. I realized that the last three years were all about me. My young kids were growing up and I didnt even know it. And my wife was paying the price of keeping my secret. I did two years of 8mgs a day.

Two weeks ago I ran out early. And the doctor wouldnt call in any. That was when something clicked--and how controlled my life was by these pills. I got ticked off and decided right then that was it. I;m done! And so I stopped cold turkey on a Tuesday. This was the progree for me. I understand everyone is different.

Day 1 -- No problem. Hey maybe this wont be so bad after all.

Day 2 -- YEEHAA. I think I can do this.

Day 3 -- Started feeling bad. Anxious. Wondering if this was the beginning of the real deal.

Day 4 -- Real deal. I had zero energy. Very emotional. Could not get comfortable. No appetite.

Day 5 -- No sleep last night. No energy. Just to get up from a chair was like lifting 500 pounds. My little biyt wants to play woith his daddy and I feel bad for him--but he motivates me to push on. No appetite still.

Day 6 -- Terrible. Maybe I DO need to taper? But even if I wanted to my next appointment cant happen for several days--so hell yeah--lets ride this out. NO energy. And I had to change a car battery in the HOT Texas sun that about kiilled me. I collapse on a couch. My kids come up to me one by one asking whats wrong. No appetite still. NO sleep last night. ANdnow the sneezing is starting to comein short bursts of 4-5 sneezes.

Day 7--One week down! Holy Hell Batman! Is this ever going to turn? I start looking at websites for help. No appetite. No sleep. And now the diarhea begins. YAY. Also the creep crawly skin issues.

Day 8 -- Same as before. Tired. I mean like a walking corpse. The phone rings and I dont want to get up and answer it. But later I get mad at thos so I get on the treadmill and run a short burst. Wipes me out.

Day 9 -- Come on! Please body get it going. I am depressed as hell. Weepy. There is this commercial on TV about a family at a lake skipping rocks that gets me emotional lol But it motivates me to keep going. Little sleep. No food. Stomach jacked.

Day 10 -- Is this the fabled turn around? Not yet. But I do notice something. I actually feel more alive even thought I feel awful. Something is happening...finally.

Day 11-- First day I felt semi-normal. I even went to the store. I laughed spontaneously. And I had an appetite. Still have no sleep and diarhea--but hey that's the price we pay when we mess with the machinery.

Day 12 -- Felt pretty strong in spurts. By end of the day was crashing a bit. Thought: OK, tonight I get some sleep. Wrong. I love Lucy like most people--but nnot at 3am. Oh well.

Day 13--As I write this I feel pretty good. Just tired and dealing with the sleep issues. Mentally I am more sharp than I have been in years. Sex is back. Appetite is back--but I made the mistake of eating too much last night and it sat in my gut all night like a rock. Need to take it easy.

For me the journey began accidentally--I ran out of pills. But something had to be the catalyst. Either way it happened. And I'm glad. To those of you about to jump here are my two cent observations:

1. Dont start it until you are committed to do it.
2. Realize everyone is different
3. Keep the people and things of life you love most in view--they are worth the fight.
4. Realize that it might be hell--but its a short tour--and in comparison with the rest of your life it is an instant in time.
5. If I can do this--and I am no superman when it comes to WDs--YOU can.
6. My prayers are with anyone killing their monkey.

Iwould be happy to personally connect with anyone who needs some support, an ear, or a shoulder. Just mail me. I'll post again as things progress.
Blessings

brian


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PostPosted: Tue Aug 09, 2011 11:23 am 
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Day 14

Got a good night's rest (thanks to Trazadone). Feel pretty good today. A little weak but my stomach issues seem to be subsiding. Mainly feel more of a sinus deal. Still sneezing off and on. But such a difference at the two week mark! If I can do this cold turkey--you can.


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 23, 2011 8:36 pm 
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Hey Brian! How ironic I’m just going through some posts today as I’m approaching day 13 tomorrow. I have to be totally honest, I felt like I wrote this thread myself almost word for word. That’s awesome stuff though man. I didn’t realize you had kids…wow that must have made things even harder. I can’t imagine. You’re trucking along great bro, keep up the awesome work!


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PostPosted: Sat Sep 24, 2011 3:07 pm 
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Sub--
You rock man. It is a journey fo sho. But believe it or not its downhill now for you. Sometimes the incline will feel like you are downhill skiiing--and other times you'll have to get down on the gorund to see if there is any drop in grade at all. I am at Day Whatever--mucho better. But still contend with mild stomachy issues and some fatigue. Im about to begin a neew healthy regimen--yes me--beginning with my food intake. Then IU plan on adding some sort of GULP exercise--and get back to the club, They will prolly drop dead when they see me in there again lol Oh well. Its all about pushing dude--and you are rocking it. Keep it up.

brian


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PostPosted: Sun Sep 25, 2011 1:39 pm 
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Hey Brian…hopefully by ‘all downhill from here’ you mean it’s gonna get better?


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PostPosted: Mon Sep 26, 2011 9:41 am 
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You guys just reminded me of this old van my dad had. He called it "dragonfly"... as a kid, I asked him, why do call the van dragonfly?? He says because, she may drag like an old woman going up the hill but then FLY like a dream down the other side. :)

-RSJ


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PostPosted: Mon Sep 26, 2011 11:49 am 
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Oh Gosh, I love the Dragon Fly reference.....too funny!!!

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