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PostPosted: Thu Dec 18, 2014 6:44 am 
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Fuser, are u on .25 or totally off? I noticed the bone pains and the feeling of being weighed down. Im up wide eyed now because of it.
Good Luck ur doing great!


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 18, 2014 6:55 am 
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I read the last part that u have been off totally. Thats great news. Sorry for making a big issue on Clonidine. Been a nurse for more years than I like to admit to and I have now experience in how it is treated in WD. I definitely learned alot hear!
Keep it up


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 18, 2014 10:44 am 
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doeydoey wrote:
I read the last part that u have been off totally. Thats great news. Sorry for making a big issue on Clonidine. Been a nurse for more years than I like to admit to and I have now experience in how it is treated in WD. I definitely learned alot hear!
Keep it up


Thanks doey...no issues at all.. How are you doing? Remember in my earlier posts (right after the first failed jump) when I was talking about skipping days?? I have to confess that I couldn't go through with that plan so I jumped straight off..tbh it just seemed like postponing the inevitable.. If you stick to your current scheme of 0,25 per day (only once) you should feel that you stabilised after a period of time (for me it was around a 4 or 5 weeks)..and then you really should be ready for the jump..


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PostPosted: Fri Dec 19, 2014 8:03 am 
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Still unable to sleep for more than 3h undisturbed...I have those 2 hours in the middle of the night of just tossing and turning and being miserable..Day 17 btw


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PostPosted: Fri Dec 19, 2014 10:37 am 
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I'm sorry you're still not sleeping well, but if that's the main issue you have then I'm super happy for you!

I've been having trouble sleeping lately as well, and I'm not even tapering...I tossed and turned all night last night and kept waking up my poor hubby. At one point I even woke myself up talking. I was dreaming I was arguing with somebody and they got mad at whatever I said to them. I woke up saying "I don't give a s**t"! LOL...I don't quite remember who I was dreaming about, but I think it was my Sister In Law. :twisted:

It's funny how when you don't sleep solid you tend to have these kinds of things happen more frequently. Well, I do anyways.

I'm always glad to see your updates fuser...keep em' coming!

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PostPosted: Sat Dec 20, 2014 6:54 am 
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I'm just realising how detached I was all these yrs..Lost a lot of friends and acquaintances not bcs I was an ass, but bcs I only had one best friend and it was sub..not much time for others when he (it) was around... not missing it..Day 18 (I think)


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PostPosted: Mon Dec 22, 2014 8:09 am 
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Tomorrow will be 3 weeks since my jump..other than sudden and sneaky energy lows a number of times a day and occasional RL's I'm good (after gym that all goes away..for a while anyway).. Brain is healing..I can feel it by the need to sleep in the afternoons for an hour at least..after which I really feel better..not for too long though ;) Starting to function better by day..all those little things I couldn't bother to do before..things that felt so undoable and out of my comfort zone...


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PostPosted: Fri Dec 26, 2014 3:40 pm 
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Happy Xmas everyone..I've done it..entering 2015..completely sub free!
Occasional depressions ..but that's getting better as well.. energy levels are rising..now all I want is to go out and meet new people (normal ones)..
It's been the hardest and best yr that I can remember (bupe has made it that foggy for the last 8+ years)..still learning to appreciate it :D


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PostPosted: Sat Dec 27, 2014 10:19 am 
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Congrats Fuser for hanging in there...youre well on your way! :lol:

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PostPosted: Tue Dec 30, 2014 2:03 pm 
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3 days from today will mark a full month since my jump...so I just want to update how I feel..
NO more acute stuff.. RL's creep in once in a while. Sleep is good one day..the next day I wake up in the middle of the night ..as if my brain needs a rest from sleep ;)
Mood swings go like this...wake up happy, 'clean' and very positive..then in a few hours it goes down..down..down..(that's exactly the part when my ex best friend SUB used to come in)..then I get positive again only to go down a little bit before evening when I get better again and end up falling asleep.
So what you can see here is exactly the years long (8+yrs) timetable of my sub taking..3 to 2 doses..of 'pick me up when I feel down'.. This is the next battle..unlearning all this (my brain obviously remembers fondly)..or rather learning to live without opiates by doing all the right things.
I do kind of feel like on autopilot though..but better after sharing this :)


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 01, 2015 6:25 pm 
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Hey Fuser,

Congrats on the one month mark! It seems that most people report feeling almost back to normal by this point. As for the daily lows...just remember that you spent years ingraining those old habits into your mind. It makes sense that it would take a long while for them to be completely broken. Maybe you could try replacing the old habits with something new and healthy. Like at those times of day that you would have normally dosed, have a special snack or do something that makes you happy. I don't know what...depends on the time constraints of the moment and what your hobbies and interests are.

I always love it when I can start the New Year off on a good note. There's something about it that is exciting and special.

I'm happy you are doing so well. And thanks for the update!

Q

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PostPosted: Thu Jan 01, 2015 11:54 pm 
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Fuser, you are really doing great. I jumped off about a week ago. It's been HELL. I read your posts and gave me hope. I went into the New Year in tears and pain. Wanting to just give up. I'm so glad I did not. Thanks for your updates and being so honest. I am going through what you went through right now. The Clonidine is awesome. Like I said before, I was surprised to hear it used for anything other than hypertension. I'm back on it for another 12 days. I pray I will be where you are soon.
HOPE in the New Year


How long did you feel weighed down?


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PostPosted: Fri Jan 02, 2015 9:18 am 
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thanks Doey..glad you appreciate my honesty..this is my only way of reaching out, getting rid of negative emotions..even understanding myself and my addict behaviour..the consequences of it all.. This whole process I kept very much to myself so it means a lot to share my thoughts..and even more if it helps others..that's huge and it feels good !
As for the weighed down feeling..it probably takes some 4+ weeks to disappear 95%..but after 11 or 12 days you should feel much better with occasional rounds of led suit stuff..it's on and off after that..
How long are you off? My advice for clonidine..after some 5 days of clean time under your belt try taking them only for the nights..the effect will be much better too.
Keep it up...post. Throwing your subs away is huge!

P.S. Today is my 1 month mark..if it feels so good after one, I can't imagine how it will be in a couple of months.. :)
Sleep is still an issue though.. even after a whole night's party and 3h of sleep that day I still woke up at early dawn last night..


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 06, 2015 3:04 pm 
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Hey Fuser. I'm at 12 days and feel the roller coaster ride. I am so sleepy. Fell asleep driving home from work. Thank God noone was hurt. I am just tired. Clonidine only once a day now. Melatonin 10mg ( I take 2). chewable worked great to get me to sleep, but I was up in 3 hours. My legs and arms feel especially weighed.
How are you doing now?


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 07, 2015 6:51 am 
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As soon as I think the sleep issues might be over...they remind me otherwise. Woke up last night around 4 times..really anxious, my heart pounding..
Physically I feel good though..but those mental downs are bad and to me more challenging than wd's


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 13, 2015 12:26 pm 
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Major sudden sneak attack of cravings today for the first time! (day 42) The background of this is PAWS hitting me more and more over the past week.. the emptiness is just getting hard to cope with.. Sleeping is ok..even too much..what worries me is the constant feeling of tiredness during the day..I could sleep all day..whatever I do makes me tired. Going to the gym on a regular basis after which i feel normal.. Really scared I'm falling into this depression..so I'm contemplating getting on some non-addictive anti-depressants like zooloft for a few months..


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 13, 2015 1:56 pm 
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Hey fuser,

That's a good idea. A lot of doctors will recommend their patients do this during a taper so that it's in their system and ready to go when the depression hits. Keep in mind that it will take at least a month for them to really get into your system and start doing their thing.

Hang in there till you get some relief. Have you been on anti-depressants before? It can take some effort to find the right one for you. Keep us posted K?

Q

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PostPosted: Thu Jan 15, 2015 2:12 pm 
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Hey Fuser, I really follow your posts. I am experiencing exactly what you went through at the same time. What is PAWS. You mean there is more after this to deal with? Im on Cymbalta for the aches. I just started back. think I will do a little research on this PAWS.
Congrats on sticking to it. Your really strong.


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