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PostPosted: Wed Feb 23, 2011 8:03 am 
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Day 55

Jump + 13 Days

Just checking in and saying hello out there. I'm awake and haopy to be right where I am in my recovery. So very thankful to be alive and sober.

I wish you all the very best in your own journeys.

All the Best!!

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the most massive characters are seared with scars."
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PostPosted: Thu Feb 24, 2011 9:20 am 
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Day 55

Jump + 14 Days

Things are moving along very quickly, I still don't think about pills. I took a drug test for a job in a rehan hospital yesterday. I guess I'm clean, they sent it off to the lab. We shall see.

Sometimes I get to thinking that since I've been able to stop abusing opiates that just maybe there's nothing that I can't do. Maybe quitting is the best most important thing I've ever accomplished.

Sometimes I get proud of quitting, that if I don't accomplish anything else in this life, I'll live happily and grateful in my sobriety. I'm still not fool enough to think I can say I've conquered addiction, I will never be able to make that claim. If I get to feeling cocky about that is when I'll think I can use just a little bit, just once. And that path leads to destruction. There is no wiggle room. This I know

I thank you all for responding in this thread. You will never know how much you've helped me.

God Bless you All!!

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"Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls;
the most massive characters are seared with scars."
Khalil Gibran


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 Post subject: I get that
PostPosted: Thu Feb 24, 2011 12:29 pm 
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I really identify with what you say about quitting opiates making you feel like maybe you can do anything. For me, quitting the Suboxone is the hard thing, not because I want to take more and more of it, but because it takes so long and it's like self-inflicted torture at times. However, seeing that I do have the diligence that it takes to do it makes me feel very strong indeed.

Glad you are doing so well! Feel good about that drug test!! Of course you passed!! :D

laddertipper

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PostPosted: Thu Feb 24, 2011 12:45 pm 
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Thank you ma'am, those are kind words. You are the best!!

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"Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls;
the most massive characters are seared with scars."
Khalil Gibran


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PostPosted: Sat Feb 26, 2011 12:35 pm 
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Day 57

Jump + 17

Other than a sore as heck foot, things continue to rollllll right along. I don't think about pills nor crave them. But then again, I know there will come a time I will be tested.

Pain pills a re a black and white issue to me now. I don't want any, and I can't have any. Not one. not never. I've accepted this and go on.

I wish you all the best, sober, and happiest of weekends!!

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"Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls;
the most massive characters are seared with scars."
Khalil Gibran


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PostPosted: Sun Feb 27, 2011 10:24 am 
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Day 58

Jump + 18 Days

All is copacetic. still laid up on the coach with a burned foot. But recovery wise things a going rather smoothly. Another day away from the madness. I am so very grateful.

I wish you all the very best!!

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"Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls;
the most massive characters are seared with scars."
Khalil Gibran


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PostPosted: Mon Feb 28, 2011 8:59 am 
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Day 59

Jump + 19 Days

Lightning and Thunder all night, morning temp of 60, Spring is upon us.

One of the reasons I began using was boredom. I was bored with my career, I can see that now. I wasn't challenged, I was drowning in depression. I realize now that I spent nearly 20 years just easing by.

I need a challenge!! And at 43 I now have a good one.

I wish you all the very best.

February was very good to me!!

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"Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls;
the most massive characters are seared with scars."
Khalil Gibran


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PostPosted: Tue Mar 01, 2011 9:06 am 
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Day 60

Jump + 20 Days

Well it's been 2 months since I had any pain pills. That's just so dang cool. And it's now nearly three weeks since I had any Suboxone. That's very cool as well.

I have a new job and a new career. Things seem to be moving very quickly indeed. I have a future. Which is nice. :)

I never really felt bad during my taper or post taper. Looking back I was ready to stop but I couldn't find a way. The taper method gave me that way, and this place gave me a chance at sobriety. I have that chance now, I have my freedom. Of course I don't plan on getting enslaved again, but opiate addiction is very very insidious that I must be ever on guard. I know that I can never have just one pill, that if I ever take that first pill I will surely end up hopelessly addicted again. This is just the way it is. I lived for 35 years before opiates, it would be neat to live 35 years after them as well.

I wish you all the very best!!

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"Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls;
the most massive characters are seared with scars."
Khalil Gibran


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PostPosted: Wed Mar 02, 2011 10:32 am 
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Day 61

Jump + 21 Days

Making my daily visit.

Life is good, spring is upon us and I'm sober. Thankfully, humbly, gleefully sober. I feel so fortunate to be thinking clearly, planning for my future. And living life.

FREEDOM

If I can do this, You Can Do This!!


I wish you the very best!!

_________________
"Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls;
the most massive characters are seared with scars."
Khalil Gibran


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 Post subject: Wow
PostPosted: Wed Mar 02, 2011 2:11 pm 
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I'm really impressed by how mild your symptoms were. I mean, I guess I should say that I'm impressed that you had no symptoms. :D I know a lot of people need to stay on Sub for a good, long while. And that's fine!! I also see how much easier it is to do a faster taper. Getting off Suboxone is soooo hard. I'm still at 1.5. I tried going to 1.25 and just got too sick for what I have to be able to accomplish right now. I wish I could just stay home and be sick for a month, because I'd quit taking this stuff and deal with whatever happened. I'm fed up, but I just cannot jump yet, and this is too high to jump from anyway. Hopefully in another week, I can go to 1.25 and a couple weeks after that to 1 mg. Wait, I WILL do that!! I absolutely will. Then, I'm going to start reducing by .125 increments instead of .25.

Thanks for your updates!!

laddertipper

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First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you. ~F. Scott Fitzgerald


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PostPosted: Wed Mar 02, 2011 2:11 pm 
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Hey all, I'm new to this forum, but I'm sure my story is common here, so I'll spare you. I'm currently doing a short taper with suboxone off of h, oxymorphone, and hydromorphone. And everything else for that matter. I set myself a very ambitious taper schedule of about two weeks and I've finally realized that I was wrong...well, just look:

1. 8
2. 6
3. 4
4. 3
5. 2
6. 1.5
7. 1
8. .75
9. .5
10. .375 - This is day is where I started to feel withdrawals at a more discomforting level.
11. .5 (and .25 at night to calm me) - The next morning I took the .5 mg dose to try and normalize, which did help.
12. .5 - And this is today, I feel just a bit anxious about my progress, physically I'm alright.

Anyway, I know you'll all say I'm moving much too quickly, and you are right. But you know what, I'm gonna give myself credit for getting down to the .5mg dose so quickly. I took a look on here and saw all the talk about tapering at 4 day intervals, and I found hope in this thread that I'm hijacking now :).

Everyone was very negative about his plan in the beginning and he pulled through strong, so I feel like he and I have similar constitutions.
Anyway I just figured I'd adjust my plan and run it by you all, modeled after SeekinSober's final days of progress (I am going to look up this liquid method). So it looks like this starting tomorrow:

13-16. .5
17-20. .4
21-24. .3
25-28. .2
29-32. .1
33. 0

Would that even things out? I was hoping to give my body time to adjust to the decreases now, I even considered taking another .5 mg dose later today to start...or would it be just as easy to do the .5 mg doses, then start skipping days between dosing at that level?

Any input appreciated, as long as you are not overly negative about my decision to short taper.


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PostPosted: Wed Mar 02, 2011 11:57 pm 
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Can anyone weigh in on this? I need to get this new plan going starting tomorrow...I sort of took a full milligram tonight...stupid of me but I wanted to make sure I could work tomorrow, I've been a bit less than capable in the mornings and wanted to start dosing at night to make sure I sleep well.
So tomorrow I will wait til the even and start tapering from .5 for two days, than .4-0 for 4 days at a time, respectively (got the subutex dissolved in syringes now for liquid dosing). I get the feeling that this is extraneous information but I have absolutely no support system, was hoping some people on the internet could be with me on the way. I am secretly afraid when it comes right down to it, after relying on drugs for emotional sustenance for so many years.


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 03, 2011 12:12 am 
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Hey MrTwelve

My biggest piece of advice is to listen to your body. It's not really a good idea to go hopping up and down dose wise. much better, and quicker, and easier, to get stable on a dose before you drop again. Even though I went rather quick, I had no discomfort.

I also must say that I am glad it took me six weeks to do the entire thing. I needed those six weeks to heal mentally, to heal emotionally, and lastly, to heal physically. (The withdrawals are not the hard part of this). I needed time away from the madness. I needed time for my head to clear. I needed time heal. I only want to do this once, so I took my time, listened to my body, and got as much information as I could. I read as much as I could from many sites. I weighed the successes and the failures and came up with a plan that I felt was right for me. It can be a bit of a knife's edge this tapering business. it's as much an art as it is a science. I needed time, but not too much as it is my opinion that long term Suboxone use makes tapering much more difficult and lengthy.

But I'm sober today, I'm free today. I'll worry about tomorrow tomorrow.


I guess what I really want to say is empower yourself with knowledge, and get a solid plan. And focus you energies on making that plan a reality.

I wish you the very best. Please check in here and tell us how you're doing. I'll be tickled if i could help you reach your goals.

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"Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls;
the most massive characters are seared with scars."
Khalil Gibran


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 03, 2011 9:36 pm 
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You know, I read through a lot of posts in here immediately after I hit my little bump because I thought I had complete control of the process until then, but I soon realized that I was just a bit too steep, too ambitious. I'm strong and completely dedicated, but I must be able to continue to live and work...so I found your post completely inspiring. Your method was much smarter, reasonable time-frame, and you were able to remain relatively comfortable throughout (even after the jump). So you've helped me already, you see, I had a bump but I'm back on .5mg today and tomorrow, then using the liquid taper down .1 mg every 4 days, same as yours.
And I agree completely with the advice about listening to your body, I feel I've learned so much about how the way things operate within myself and as well as with opiate dependence in general just from my past couple weeks...things I've ignored so long. It only gives me more confidence, only makes me realize that dependence can be ended.
So thank you for documenting your progress, and as well as responding to me. It has helped immensely, and I will update you as well. I just hope you're not annoyed that I took over your thread :o


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 04, 2011 9:20 am 
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Don't make too much of a big deal over a sip up. The goal is to keep moving in the right direction. Just keep thinking clearly, moving towards your goal, and you will get there.

Tapering opiates is not an easy thing to do. So knowing that, put your best foot forward, and take another step in the right direction.

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"Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls;
the most massive characters are seared with scars."
Khalil Gibran


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 Post subject: one other idea
PostPosted: Fri Mar 04, 2011 11:16 am 
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MrTwelve wrote:
You know, I read through a lot of posts in here immediately after I hit my little bump because I thought I had complete control of the process until then, but I soon realized that I was just a bit too steep, too ambitious. I'm strong and completely dedicated, but I must be able to continue to live and work...so I found your post completely inspiring. Your method was much smarter, reasonable time-frame, and you were able to remain relatively comfortable throughout (even after the jump). So you've helped me already, you see, I had a bump but I'm back on .5mg today and tomorrow, then using the liquid taper down .1 mg every 4 days, same as yours.
And I agree completely with the advice about listening to your body, I feel I've learned so much about how the way things operate within myself and as well as with opiate dependence in general just from my past couple weeks...things I've ignored so long. It only gives me more confidence, only makes me realize that dependence can be ended.
So thank you for documenting your progress, and as well as responding to me. It has helped immensely, and I will update you as well. I just hope you're not annoyed that I took over your thread :o


SeekInSober knows what he's talking about better than I do, because he's already done it, and his situation (a fast taper) is much more similar to yours. I've been on Sub forever. Here's one other idea, though, just in case you start feeling 'stuck'. Okay, you figure out a very small amount of Sub that you can accurately measure out with the syringe. I'm using the films, so I'd break them into 16 pieces, and each piece would equal 125 micrograms. You'd have to figure out an amount around there that you can measure out. Anyway, then you set a max amount that you are allowed for the day. For you, it sounds like that would be .5. You start tracking exactly how much you are taking/when and you try to go in between doses until you are feeling yucky, then you take your tiny amount. It's amazing how a very small amount of Sub can actually relieve symptoms! You keep doing this...taking just the bare minimum that you need to get through. I did this when I got pregnant and wanted to taper very fast but didn't want to get sick. (So, I had a great motivation to really try hard.) I dropped down very quickly and didn't feel too bad at all. If you only take the smallest amount you need, you should be taking less and less over time. This is just an idea. I'd try the more regimented approach first.

Good luck! Give yourself some credit for at least being at such a low dose!!!

laddertipper

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PostPosted: Tue Mar 08, 2011 8:51 pm 
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Day 67

Jump + 27 Days

New job is going good. I'm working in a hospital, which is cool. It's a rehab (Physical) Hospital, we get people back to independence. I like that, I enjoy helping people. I've upped the workout regimen, I have a long way to go there, but at least I'm finally going in the right direction. The first step is the key, as the man says.

All in all life is going fairly well. I smile a bunch more than I used to. As far as using pills, I don't think about it much. I have simply accepted the fact that I must live my life abstaining. Once I accepted this fact, things got easier.

And so it goes.....

I wish you all the very, very Best!!

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"Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls;
the most massive characters are seared with scars."
Khalil Gibran


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PostPosted: Tue Mar 08, 2011 9:49 pm 
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<b>SeekinSober</b> - You're doing great!

Bet you find it hard to believe it's been almost a month now without any sub. Good for you with the new job as well... nothing like making a positive difference in this little world of ours.

Congrats... your success is inspiring.

Best,
Bill


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PostPosted: Tue Mar 08, 2011 10:38 pm 
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Thank you Bronze. You're kind words are very, very good medicine!!

I am just so very humble and very happy to be right where I am.

I need to thank you for posting your story on the liquid taper thread. I must have read that thread two dozen times in the early days. Your thread, and your experience, helps more people than you will ever know. And that's rather cool!!

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"Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls;
the most massive characters are seared with scars."
Khalil Gibran


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PostPosted: Wed Mar 09, 2011 7:29 pm 
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Day 68

Jump + 28

Just Rolling Along. Tell you what I was thinking about, an honest sweat feels so good, and will help you feel better about yourself. Get yourself some. Exercise REALLY helps me, I get those endorphins popping, and I truly believe that exercise mightily reduces my cravings and withdrawal symptoms. A good habit that makes you feel better and is good for you. Good stuff.

Wherever you are, whatever your goals. I wish you the very Best!!

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"Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls;
the most massive characters are seared with scars."
Khalil Gibran


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