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PostPosted: Wed Apr 04, 2012 1:41 am 
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Come tomorrow morning (4/4/12) I will have been on suboxone for a full week. Just the evening prior to starting the suboxone I was clean for just under three years, three years ago I've successfully completed a six month methadone program almost two and a half months early. I started that methadone program due to an opiate addiction that kept escalating faster and faster, I succeed in hiding it from my family and girlfriend. But in my almost three years of sobriety with no relapses what so ever. No drinking or any other drug abuse. I noticed I didn't feel normal or at least the way I felt before the opiates. I kept waiting and waiting for just that normal feeling to come back but nothing. So after many doctors visits and many antidepressants and other treatments... Nothing. The decision to try suboxone was a heavy and long thought out one. One I'm still weighing. I'm afraid, been afraid and am still afraid, even if I somehow found out years later that I in fact did make the right decision, Im sure I would still be questioning it... All I know is as of this far and yes I know its barley been a week, is that I feel normal, not high, not even good just normal if that makes any sense. Or at least what normal feels like to me. -Dave


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 Post subject: Re: REPLY FROM SLIPPER
PostPosted: Wed Apr 04, 2012 6:54 am 
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SuboxoneIsNotAToxin wrote:
Come tomorrow morning (4/4/12) I will have been on suboxone for a full week. Just the evening prior to starting the suboxone I was clean for just under three years, three years ago I've successfully completed a six month methadone program almost two and a half months early. I started that methadone program due to an opiate addiction that kept escalating faster and faster, I succeed in hiding it from my family and girlfriend. But in my almost three years of sobriety with no relapses what so ever. No drinking or any other drug abuse. I noticed I didn't feel normal or at least the way I felt before the opiates. I kept waiting and waiting for just that normal feeling to come back but nothing. So after many doctors visits and many antidepressants and other treatments... Nothing. The decision to try suboxone was a heavy and long thought out one. One I'm still weighing. I'm afraid, been afraid and am still afraid, even if I somehow found out years later that I in fact did make the right decision, Im sure I would still be questioning it... All I know is as of this far and yes I know its barley been a week, is that I feel normal, not high, not even good just normal if that makes any sense. Or at least what normal feels like to me. -Dave





HI DAVE,
and welcome to the forum!....yes you do make sense to me. I actually did the same thing sort of...i was on sub and after one year my dr. made me get off and i went for months just feeling awful...not withdrawal but just not happy. I wanted that normal feeling again so I found another sub Dr. and got back on the subs. I now feel normal again...not high, or especially good all the time like you said...just normal. I will stay on this med. for as long as it takes. I think you made a wise decision. You might have, at some point gone back out to drugs...and we all know the next time we take a lot more than the last...Maybe it is called prevention..but I think you are right where you should be. Please keep us posted on your progress...and best of luck to you!

Slipper

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PostPosted: Sat Apr 07, 2012 12:22 am 
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Slipper, thank you for the welcome. It helps a lot knowing I'm not the only trying suboxone to help bring me back to that normal feeling. And I hate using the word normal cause everyones version of that is different and I'm not entirely sure I know what it is for me. I just know normal for me is a hell of a lot better than how I was feeling. This whole past week suboxone has basically put me on my butt for the first few hours after I take it, I feel I have my dose almost dialed in as to where I'm not feeling that tired opiate type high, but that seems to dissipate now rather quickly as I get my dose more accurate. Still not sure if I should take it in the morning or evening. So far, so good. I'm starting to feel comfortable in my own skin now without wanting to crawl out of it. I'm starting to feel like my old self and its incredible. Just to wakeup like I use to and feel optimistic about the day ahead is priceless. Im in the category that believe addiction is a disease and if it can be treated it should be treated, I personally believe that opiate addicts are already at a predisposition for self medicating cause our brains don't produce enough natural opiates to begin with and even if I did have completely normal brain chemicals, that all completely changed once I started to abuse opiates or any other drug your brain is always going to be looking for that. I honestly didn't want to believe that, I was thinking after a few months I would feel normal again, but that didn't happen, so I gave it a year.. still feel the same.. then another year, still this weird permanent subtle withdraw feeling is the best way I can describe it. It's been a little over a week and all I know is I'm starting to actually starting to live my life again instead of just being present for it. -Dave


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PostPosted: Sun Apr 08, 2012 9:56 am 
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I'm worried once my body starts building a tolerance for the suboxone this normal feeling is going to out the door and I'll just be left chemically dependent... Taper/detox and then revert back to that uncomfortable/meloncoly feeling for the rest of my life. Does anyone with this type of advanced knowledge know wether or not that when your brain starts building up tolerance to suboxone are all those opiate receptors that its currently binding to, will it still be binding or "filling" the same amount of receptors later on after you have been on it for a whilr? I'm not too sure if I explained my question correctly, I hope it makes some sense..


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PostPosted: Sun Apr 08, 2012 10:25 am 
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If you found yourself too numbed by the methadone, then switching to Sub will be a breath of fresh air. You'll be re-introduced to parts of yourself and the world that methadone hid from you.

While Sub still has a bit of a numbing effect, it's nowhere near as much as methadone. And when I switched from methadone to Sub I did feel like I was more human.


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PostPosted: Fri Apr 13, 2012 7:11 am 
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tearj3rker wrote:
If you found yourself too numbed by the methadone, then switching to Sub will be a breath of fresh air. You'll be re-introduced to parts of yourself and the world that methadone hid from you.

While Sub still has a bit of a numbing effect, it's nowhere near as much as methadone. And when I switched from methadone to Sub I did feel like I was more human.


That's an awesome way of putting it! "I did fell like I was more human"


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 Post subject: Thanks for sharing!
PostPosted: Sat Apr 20, 2013 5:52 pm 
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Wow, was I ever glad to read your story. You sound exactly like me. I just finished my second week on Suboxone and feel great. Not "Great!" great, just NORMAL great. I was free of all opiates(Oxycodone) for 8 months before deciding to go on Suboxone. I was addicted to Oxy for 2-1/2 years. My depression after being clean for 8 months was at an all time low and I didn't want to go on living feeling this way any more.

I was depressed long before I ever took an opiate, so waiting around for PAWS to go away seemed moot. Going on Subs for my treatment resistant depression was a last ditch effort. And I'm so so happy I did it. The past two weeks have been wonderful. I've decided not to worry about the "what ifs"... And just be thankful I had an understanding Dr who was willing to take the risk. I know this was the right decision for me, and it sounds right for you as well.

Can I ask what dosage you're on? I started on 2mgs a day every morning, then went to 1 mg twice a day, now I'm down to 1mg once a day. I feel best at this dosage.

Life is good again! Thanks for sharing your story!


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 Post subject: Date
PostPosted: Sat Apr 20, 2013 10:07 pm 
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Hey Ggeo,

Check the date of the last post. It's over a year old so don't expect a response back. Don't fret, most of us have done the same thing.

It is good that you're reading a lot of threads. Knowledge is power they say.


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