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 Post subject: My issue please help
PostPosted: Sun Nov 15, 2015 10:20 pm 
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Hi guys. I don't think I ever really did a proper introduction, but have made several posts. First off I can't say enough about this forum. It gives guidance and support to a lot of addicts. So let me say thanks ahead of time to to all of you helping one another. Now to my issue I have been on sub for 5 years. In that time I have started a family and bought a house. In the last few months my life has taken big hit, by November 29th we have to be out of our home because I have lost it to foreclosure. I am the one who works in the family. This has produced a shitload of stress on me. So with the stress I was taking a little extra sub. But I always managed to not run out early, because I had held back from over the years. I thought losing my home was stressful until September 17. On Sunday Sept 17th I was on my way to tow to get us groceries, on the highway a motorcycle and I collided head on. The motorcycle hit the left front on my car and he and lady rider were ejected from the bike. When he came off his head impacted the windshield right in front of my eyes. No helmet. He died in the middle of the highway. The lady somehow survived, but with some very serious injuries. My life was changed forever right then. Lucky I was the only one in the car at the time. It's been almost 2 months and I'm still not getting much sleep. As one can, imagine my stress is over the roof. For some damn reason I have taken more than prescribed sub. It is the only medication I take. My problem is I am going to run out 10 days early. My doc will probably won't do a thing for me. I'm not sure what the hell I was thinking like sub is xanax or what. I'm not one to express my feeling much, as I have been contemplating on posting this for a week. I'm just not sure what to do or where to turn at this point. Thank you for reading, sorry so long. Any advice on what to do would be much appreciated.


Smitty


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 Post subject: Re: My issue please help
PostPosted: Sun Nov 15, 2015 10:53 pm 
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Smitty, I am so sorry for the difficulties you've faced lately. Anyone would be impacted by the troubles you've been through.

I want you to know one thing first. You very well could have PTSD. Many people who have been in accidents far less severe and traumatic than yours have ended up with PTSD. So, number one I would have you look up the signs and symptoms of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and call your sub doctor early for an appointment and asked to be screened for PTSD. It is possible that your doctor may be more sympathetic to your situation if he realizes how much trauma you've been through. Even if he says, "I can't help you, so you need to find a psychiatrist or therapist," he may be a lot more understanding about you taking extra sub. He may help you out this one time.

I'm not just suggesting that you use the accident you survived to get extra sub to prevent withdrawal, however. You need to take your mental health very seriously. Losing sleep from trauma is a big deal. It can wear on you in ways that you might not imagine. It can depress your immune system substantially. It can change your personality. You need to be proactive about this blow to your psyche. Don't let it fester for years. Go see someone soon!

I'm so sorry you're losing your home as well. Do you have a plan for when you must move out? Can you stay with family until you get back on your feet? Did you lose your job or have to take a pay cut? I'm hoping that you still have health insurance.

Perhaps you and your wife could find a way to work opposite shifts so you wouldn't have to spend money on day care. I know this time is hard, but I am confident that you can figure a way through. When you find a therapist or a psychiatrist make sure that you let them know about your problem with medication along with everything else. It is not uncommon to take extra sub when stressed, but this is something you must address.

I wish you the best, Smitty. I hope that any of my suggestions are helpful to you. Please let us know how you're doing!

Amy

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 Post subject: Re: My issue please help
PostPosted: Mon Nov 16, 2015 12:36 am 
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Oh Smitty, I am so very sorry! I can only imagine how you must feel witnessing such a horrific accident. Amy is right about PTSD. It makes perfect sense to me as to why you would be taking extra suboxone. My question to you is how much do you normally take and how much extra are you taking? You maybe able to cut back a little. I know that I have dropped my dose by 2 to 4 mgs and have felt better doing so. I agree with Amy about your talking with a professional about all you are going through. It can only help! Please keep us posted as to how you are doing!


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 Post subject: Re: My issue please help
PostPosted: Mon Nov 16, 2015 12:39 pm 
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Thanks for the advice girls. You are right some counseling is needed. I def. don't need to be going without my sub in a time like this though as an addict I know stress is a huge trigger for a relapse. My problem is when the thought about the accident pops in my head I quick block it out for some reason. Not sure why anything stressful comes up I do that


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 Post subject: Re: My issue please help
PostPosted: Mon Nov 16, 2015 1:01 pm 
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Hi again, our brains are very smart and they don't forget. What happens with a lot of us is that we work to block the memory that was hurtful or upsetting by engaging in a behavior that will distract, dull, numb the feelings associated with the memory. What works best and fastest to numb is usually drugs and/or alcohol. And that is how addiction can develop. Hope you are having a good day!


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 Post subject: Re: My issue please help
PostPosted: Mon Nov 16, 2015 9:59 pm 
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Any normal human would have significant anxiety after your experience. Technically, this would be 'acute stress disorder'-- but it is likely to become PTSD, which requires some length of time-- I think a few months, but I could be wrong. This is one of the few times that a benzo can be helpful, if you can take that type of medication without overusing it. An SSRI would be helpful over the next few months.

The last thing you need is to go into opioid withdrawal. Hopefully your doc will understand the sequence of events that led to running short... but in case the doc doesn't understand, I recommend that you immediately divide whatever you have left into enough equal parts to get you to your next appointment. Have your partner control the meds, doling out the amount each day. If you have 4 mg per day to take, you will be fine... you just need to 'optimize absorption of buprenorphine' (google that phrase, and you will find my blog post about how to do it). There are other ways to make buprenorphine last, but I'll leave discussions of 'plugging' to someone else. Ideally you will call your doc and explain what happened--- and your doc will say 'it is common for people to over-use buprenorphine during severe psychological stress early in the treatment process.'

That's what your doc SHOULD say, anyway!


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 Post subject: Re: My issue please help
PostPosted: Wed Nov 18, 2015 10:34 pm 
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Thank you Dr. Jun it for some great insight on what I should do. I seem to get better day by day, but I've got a lot of recovering to do to get to the other side of this. I've split my doses to 4mg per day. If it wasn't for my awesome family and this forum I'm not sure where I'd be.


Thanks,
Smitty


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 Post subject: Re: My issue please help
PostPosted: Mon Nov 23, 2015 4:20 pm 
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Hey guys, well I just got off the phone with my doctors office and told them what was going on. When I told her that I was out of my suboxone early she told me there wasn't much they could do til my appointment next Monday. It was like she just didn't give a shit. Now I have no idea what to do. What makes me angry is I've never failed a drug screen or been a problem before in the yr and a half I've been there. Sounds like it's gonna be a long 7 days.
Smitty


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 Post subject: Re: My issue please help
PostPosted: Mon Nov 23, 2015 6:21 pm 
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Hey smitty,

Unfortunately there's doctors with the policy that if u mess up and run out early, they make u wait til ur appointment and not get anymore medicine til it's ur normal time for ur refill. That's exactly how mine is. I've never ran out early to the point of asking, but I already know that if I ever did, I'd be screwed because I know they'd flat out refuse. They made that very clear in the rules. I remember once a guy at my clinic was telling us in a meeting that he'd gotten half his medicine stolen and was told to try and find some off the street!! Can u believe that?? Some places just could care less about the patients making a mistake or wanting to really help their patients and it sucks...but it happens often.

It'd be nice if all doctors were like Dr J, but they aren't. I'm sorry this has happened to ya, can u find any suboxone somewhere else til ur appointment? I sure hope u can.

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 Post subject: Re: My issue please help
PostPosted: Tue Nov 24, 2015 10:48 pm 
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Smitty, how are you? Seven days is a long time to go without, working and everyday life would be bad enough, but with what you're going through, you need someone on your side. I would consider a new doctor?

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 Post subject: Re: My issue please help
PostPosted: Wed Nov 25, 2015 12:25 pm 
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Thank you. Yes seven days is a long time, but I'm not sure what else to do. I don't know where I would get any subs. This is my 3rd day without and not feeling well at all. Not sure I'm gonna make it till Monday.


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 Post subject: Re: My issue please help
PostPosted: Wed Nov 25, 2015 6:30 pm 
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Well here I am. The only thing I could come across are sao, not sure that's a good idea. I would consider that a relapse. I'm trying to help get us moved with me feeling like complete failure. Guess I'll be wearing a diaper so I don't shit myself when I pick up something heavy. Haha


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 Post subject: Re: My issue please help
PostPosted: Thu Nov 26, 2015 10:04 am 
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Just wanted to say Happy Thanksgiving to everyone!!!

Smitty


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 Post subject: Re: My issue please help
PostPosted: Sun Nov 29, 2015 3:46 pm 
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Smitty, I hope you were able to enjoy the holiday with immodium. You have just 24 hours to go (or less) until your appointment. I'm sure the last week has been tough. I hope you were able to get through it without taking saos. Sometimes you must insist on speaking to the doctor and you may get a different answer. Make sure that your doctor hears the whole story!

Amy

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 Post subject: Re: My issue please help
PostPosted: Sun Nov 29, 2015 4:27 pm 
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Hi Smitty, Just wanted to say that I am thinking about you and hoping that you are hanging in there! It must have been such a rough Thanksgiving for you! I will say a prayer that all goes well tomorrow with your doctor! Please let us know how it goes!


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 Post subject: Re: My issue please help
PostPosted: Mon Nov 30, 2015 8:42 pm 
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Hello everyone. Well I made it to the doctor today. I had went 8 days without my suboxone. That was a long 8 days. I took 4mg a couple hours ago, now I'm back to feeling alot better. I thinking after going so long without to try and stay at 4mg. The doctor did increase my dose to 12mg a day. I would really like to start tapering, but with all the stress I've got going on I'm not sure that would be a good idea, maybe I can try to start. You were all right my withdrawal really didn't start till day 4, by yesterday it was full blown. The worst part was insomnia and the rls in my arms and legs. Still not near as 500mgs oxycodone cold turkey withdrawal.

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Smitty


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 Post subject: Re: My issue please help
PostPosted: Mon Nov 30, 2015 9:15 pm 
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Hey smitty, awesome news that u stuck it out and made it!! I'm sure that had to be rough and the fact that u made it is so great! That really shows how committed u are in ur recovery.

If u think ur ready to taper then in ur heart u will know it. Don't push urself if ur not ready though, that's all I'm saying. I'm extremely proud of u for sticking it out especially through the holiday.

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 Post subject: Re: My issue please help
PostPosted: Wed Dec 02, 2015 10:11 am 
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Hi Smitty, just checking in with you to see how things are going? I'm with Jen about the tapering, don't stress yourself! I have tapered from 24 to 6 and each time I dropped, it just felt like it was the right time. Please let us know how you are doing!


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 Post subject: Re: My issue please help
PostPosted: Thu Dec 03, 2015 2:13 pm 
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Hey guys I'm doing well. I learned a lesson last month. I'm still taking 4mg a day, but prescribed 12 so I'm stockpiling the extra. My doctor wouldn't like that but I gotta look out for myself cause you never know what could happen. Still thinking about dropping to 3mg in the next couple of days.

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Smitty


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