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 Post subject: Irritability
PostPosted: Wed Apr 21, 2010 9:53 pm 
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I do not think it is the suboxone causing this although I did find when I was off the suboxone I didn't have the energy to care enough to be annoyed. But lately, I am really irritated and irritable with people (except my husband). Let me give a few examples.

At work a co-worker is constantly sending these ridiculous "update" e-mails. The boss already asked her to stop because they are irrelevant, yet she continues...but isn't copying the boss or the corporate office and has decided only to torment the local folks. I am extremely busy at work and don't want to work 10 hour days like I did for the first year and a half. I have ADD and the e-mails are very disruptive to me. I finally decided today that I was going to respond to the next one and request to "unsubscribe" from the list. I am going to make a joke out of it but I am irritated. (She is in the office next door to me so I don't want to rock the boat too much).

This same person will not stop swinging by my office to tell me irrelevant garbage I don't care about. Like that tomorrow is take your daughter to work day or next week is or some crap. I really shouldn't be annoyed by this BUT I AM. There are enough of these interruptions that I have been locking my door. She still knocks...REALLY loudly...waits...and if I open it she will STILL go on about something really STUPID.

This same person also feels the need to do these GROUP things. Like celebrate administrative professional day. I received at least 9 e-mails asking me to donate money for flowers and to coordinate a day to take the receptionist out to lunch or meet at the receptionists desk to deliver the flowers. I am not shitting you, she got a line of people together today (going office to office of course) and then delivered the flowers and the card as a group and they sang "happy admin day" (to the tune of happy birthday) to her. Can't we just have flowers delivered and sign a card and call it good? Nevermind that the receptionist isn't MY receptionist. I asked her if she could do something for me once and she said no. How sincere can the "thank you" be when she doesn't do anything for me? Shouldn't the company or my boss be doing something for her?

(It isn't that I am a total grinch but I don't do "group" things. I think they are insincere. If I appreciate someone, I want to personalize that appreciation and let them know why. I also don't participate in the birthday crap at work either and that includes my own birthday. I am the only person who has requested I received NO ACKNOWLEDGMENT of my birthday. No cake in the lunchroom. No card. And I am not celebrating anyone else's either. And YES....the birthday things ANNOY the HELL out of me).

Let's move on to the Receptionist. She thinks she is the damn manager. I am SALARIED. Not HOURLY. I am a professional who is responsible. I do not need someone to babysit me and be certain I am working 40 hours per week. I do not need someone running around behind me and asking if I got my time in and bothering me about my appointments and my time card and the like. Did she not notice that I have worked so much extra time in the last 2 1/2 years that they owe ME. It is a control thing or something and I can't stand it. For a variety of reasons I can't stand the receptionist. She is fake. She creates problems and then goes behind people's backs and goes to management about these fake issues. Then all the sudden we end up with these strange dress codes and time sheets and all this crazy ass shit and we have no idea where it is coming from....or didn't until we realized it was her. Bottom line....she annoys me too and I don't want to celebrate her. She does nothing for me and what she does do I find invasive and inappropriate and FAKE.

I am even irritated with one of my friends at work right now. I loaned her a beautiful hardwood desk and she is not taking care of it even a little. She was on vacation and told me I could clean her office. The desk had water rings ALL OVER it, old food, massive amounts of dander - ick, and was literally so nasty I felt like I needed a bath when I got out of there. When we go out together or as a group she only wants to go to these seedy little places and won't go anywhere even remotely classy. This is ok most of the time, but she hangs out in some really trashy places and I feel very out of my comfort zone and there is never any parking. All I ask is that she will actually go out somewhere decent every so often. And further, she will only go to lunch if I pay for it. She tends to say she wants to go out and then after about an our conveniently talks about how broke she is until other people start buying her drinks, and then she buys the most expensive drinks she can on YOUR dime. She used to "borrow" cigarettes from me every hour, every day, and this went on for months. On a few occasions she would say she was going to buy me a pack and make up for it and a couple of times she did. But then I finally would respond to these offers by saying she should just buy HERSELF a pack of cigarettes and then she wouldn't HAVE to pay me back. Come to find out later, she was allowing her husband to ration her cigarettes but wasn't telling him she was smoking all of mine when she ran out. So that was actually part of her SAVINGS plan. The worst part is that she will drone on and on and on about how much integrity she has. Overall, she is a nice person, but I am ANNOYED!

OK. I could go on but I would be surprised if anyone read this much. The point is.......normally I find things to like about people. Normally I hold onto those things and don't obsess on or get wrapped up in all of the negative aspects of them. Lately I am just plain annoyed by everything. I feel like I just need to get away from all these people and hide somewhere. I am learning meditation which is helpful. But I am quite curious what is causing me to be so annoyed to begin with. Any ideas?

Cherie


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 21, 2010 11:13 pm 
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Oh how I can relate.......I called in sick one day and my admin asked me what is wrong....I said I am sick..I will be there tomorrow....what's wrong with you....I'm sick.....what kind of sick?.......finally I just said I am sick of the people I work with and hung up.......

Everyday someone is hitting my up for money....birthday..anniversary..so and so's baby is is sick we are helping with medical bills....cancer run....candy or cookies for my kids school.....I finally just tell everybody NO..........what .......NO

I say NO to everything.........people think I am an introvert....the truth is I just don't like them. I use my money for my own stuff........This is a work place .......go to work.....stop soliciiting and violating company policy.......NO.

For the most part people laugh and think I am joking.......but I am not. How do they know? Becaise I say NO.......and don't donate anything....I don't even open cards that people put on my desk. Once I was in the hospital and 5 people stopped by the hospital on their lunch hour to see me.....in that beautiful hospital gown...no shower for two days. They walked in and I asked them to leave........they thought I was joking. I rang for the nurse and told them could they please get these people out of my room. I think for the most part people think I am a Dick...............and I am. I have done my best to convey that to them but some still don't get it. I have a sign on my door that says NO.

Now I know this is all selfish and self-centered but this is my job, not my family or a hang out with friends. I travel as much as I can to get out of the office. Yes I know this is a character defect and I am working on it but I refuse to change how I deal with all the people that have their hands out for this or that.......sometimes I think just being honest hurts people's feelings but it just is who I am.

I like you people better than the people I work with and actually enjoy being apart of this forum. As an alcoholic and addict I was a great isolator which my therapist tells me is not good. Lately I have done some kind things and donations outside of work...but for some reason at work I just choose to be me............When it comes to projets and getting the work done I am a team player ....all this other shit is just organized subtrifuge.......

I know this sounds crazy but that's my life at work. Not sure why your having a tough time Cherie but when your as consistent as I am it doesn't seem out of the norm.............try it once.......... NO.......... then giggle inside..........like I do.

I do promise I will work on this..........well maybe I will...........not sure. Hope things get better for you.


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 22, 2010 7:58 am 
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:lol: :lol: :lol: You always make me laugh. OK......what you said is EXACTLY how I feel. I do say NO to all of it. I haven't gone so far as to put the note on my door but that is an EXCELLENT idea. I can continue to lock it AND put a "NO" sign on it.

And yes...I too am annoyed by the solicitation for the son's soccer team...please buy this coffee at like $8 an ounce; please buy this wrapping paper at $10 a tube; please buy......

At Christmas each year they donate to people and do those tree tags. Someone picks out a tree tag for each person in the office and they put them on the table. Last year, there were these three tags just sitting there (mine, my messy co-worker's, and my husbands) and the three of us were laughing and wondering when they would figure it out that we don't go for this forced donation crap. My cousin ended up dying so someone must have taken care of it for me but no one even asked if I was interested in this charity. Then because the owner has ties to Mexico, they always ask for NEW items to be sent over there. NEW toys, NEW clothes, blah blah. I am like....WTF? YOU go send crap to Mexico. YOU are the one with 10 businesses under your belt and a ton of money and YOU are the one who hasn't given me a F*&#$% raise like you promised for the last 2 years because of the economy. FU.

They sent flowers when I had surgery. Don't care. Don't want them.

I just want to be left alone and the more they try to befriend me the more I isolate. The one thing I do is that when they hire someone I coordinate a get together after work or a lunch to welcome the new person. That is my thing and that is what I enjoy. But after that, I want to be left alone unless it is work business. Then people are like "what is wrong with Cherie"..."are you ok"? blah blah. I just want to be left alone.

It definitely helps to vent a little here. Jim...you just make me laugh. I am glad I am not the only one. Maybe it is an addict thing.

Cherie


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 22, 2010 11:18 am 
You guys are cracking me up! Although I'm not working now....how I remember all that stuff. People can just be annoying! Some more than others. I think what griped me the most was people always bringing their personal business to work! Like the selling of stuff for their kids. There was a policy against it, yet it was done all the time! Granted...nobody minded the Girl Scout cookies....but other than that....! I've got 3 kids, mind you. Every single time there was a fundraiser, my first question was, "Can I just do a 'buy-out'?" Most of them, I was allowed to do the buy-out, but there were a few that were 100% mandatory which I think was BS. Yeah...irritating. I usually didn't care for the various parties and such either. They usually involved everybody bringing something to eat. Dang.....I already worked my ass off all day, then I go home and make dinner for my family and now you're telling me to "sign up for what you want to make and bring for the party." Seriously??!! What if I don't want to make an extra trip to the store for ingredients to cook up something else tonight?! Oh and the 'donations'......granted there are plenty of good causes to donate to and I never minded that. But, no lie, there was one time when they were taking up a collection for a gal who was about to have her mortgage go into foreclosure. She pretty much took all the overttime allowed, made good money and hadn't had trouble paying her bills until the casino came to town!! She gambled all the time!! Pretty much everyone knew it too!! WHAT?!?! I was floored by that one!
Here's the thing though. I'm actually a pretty social person and even I got irritated by some of this stuff. I guess everyone is different and what irritates me doesn't irritate the next person in the least. I do think this sort of thing has gotten out of control though. Why can't you just go to work and just work? I guess it's because we spend soooo much time there. The relationships tend to get personal. There's just no way around it.
I will say this too, though. I miss it. At least you guys have jobs and people to interact with and develop relationships with. It's not always great and some times it is "irritating" but you might miss it some if it were all gone. Just a little perspective for you. But I don't disagree with you at all! ReRaise's "NO" sign on the door is awesome. My problem was that there was no office! We all (almost all women, mind you) had to literally work together all day (or night)! You couldn't get away no matter how bad you wanted to!!


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 22, 2010 11:40 am 
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I've been watching this conversation and laughing, too. Like setemefree, I no longer work and although I remember those annoyances it, too made me nostalgic for work! What bothered me the most - and you might think me horrible for saying this - was the whole 'bring your kid to work' day. I'm child-free and I always tried to get that day off, to no avail. It was like one huge wasted day. I remember instead of teaching the kids about the work that was done or work ethics, etc., the kids that came in just played! I would try to schedule as many away from the office appointments as I could on that day. Argh, it drove me crazy! But as I was saying, annoyances aside, I miss work more than I ever thought I would. So thanks you guys for letting me live vicariously through you or your work-day frustrations. This is a really good place to get them off your chest. And I love the "NO" sign on the door; that's definitely something I would've wanted to do at my job. Except of course for the whole no-door-because-I-live-in-a-cubicle thing. ROFL.

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PostPosted: Thu Apr 22, 2010 8:41 pm 
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Well Melissa...apparently it has been a while since you worked or you would know that these days it is bring your kid to work day EVERY day. There is always at least ONE person everywhere I have worked that brought their kid in regularly. The kids are cute when the make a SHORT visit. NOT all day. One woman brings her 17 year old to work EVERY day for 2 hours. I am not kidding. This other girl they fired used to bring in her 6 year old REGULARLY. I worked one place where the woman across the hall from me used to bring her BABY to work and the baby would CRY.....LOUDLY. I actually had to go to the boss and told them it was great they made these liberal agreements with people but was curious why I wasn't involved since I was the one who would have to work through it.

I worked another place where everyone (literally....well five or six people) brought their dogs in every day. They too allowed children there and there were play toys EVERYWHERE! When I had clients come in the place was so trashy and unprofessional.

On another note.....I got really annoyed this week with a client who is a SLOW TALKER. And she isn't very bright. Every time she calls, it will be at least an hour and she says the same thing over and over and over with a really drawn out ".........you know.. (pregnant pause).... um". She said that 32 times in a 16 minute conversation the other day and I wanted to either cry or laugh. I DEFINITELY wanted to hang up the phone or tell her to shut the fuck up because she is stupid, slow, and annoying. I didn't say that however. Maybe if I wasn't so nice people would leave me alone.

Today was better and YES, I am very glad that I work because I would go insane if I had to be home all day. I like having somewhere to go and something to do. I get a lot of satisfaction out of my work. I had a client today who really went out of her way to thank me for everything I had done for them and then the owner piped in and sent an e-mail saying how impressed he was with my work. I like to feel like I am making a difference. So today was better. I am hoping if I take some space (get a vacation maybe) that this irritability will go away and I will start missing people.

I like you guys because I can shut you off when I get tired of you :lol:

Thanks for making me laugh guys!


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 28, 2010 11:29 am 
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All I have to say is : ROTFLMFAO................
People in my office are wondering what I am laughing at....
Keep it coming! :D

Tom

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PostPosted: Wed Apr 28, 2010 1:39 pm 
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Jackcrack-

Work associates can grind on our nerves, no doubt. Have you ever asked yourself what it is about the group aspect that really bothers you? I know you said that you feel it is insincere, but do you think you may be uncomfortable sharing joy? What I mean is - sometimes it can seem cheezy to do some of those office things, but sentiment goes a long way.
I thought that stuff was weird too but I eventually grew quite fond of it once I became more stable in my recovery.
As far as your co-worker and the unnecessary interruptions: tell her to stop. There is a way to get what you want without being mean. I learned to be more assertive and while many people were shocked when I started standing up for myself- it made me feel better. I was always so worried about what others thought of me, wanted people to like me,etc. At what cost? Well, now I just have clear boundaries and asking for them is my right. If I were you- tell her to stop interrupting you with extracurricular affairs while in the workplace. If that does not work- tell a supervisor to speak with her. Sitting and listening to her or hoping she will go away is not the answer. Avoiding something like that is never the answer because it builds resentment, stifles your feelings and ultimately will cause you to have problems with coping. Good luck!

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PostPosted: Wed Apr 28, 2010 5:39 pm 
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Have you ever asked yourself what it is about the group aspect that really bothers you?

HA HA HA..............NO

In all seriousness the group of people I work with are such phony people and I refuse to take part in it. It is not reality for me. Don't get me wrong I am passionate about my work but I just would rather do something else then take part in birthday lunches and certain events. I am a smoker.......if you want to know anything that is going on like who is sleeping with who..who isn't doing their job...etc. just go to the smoke lounge. When I see that behavior and then they turn it on when when we get to the workplace I just choose not to participate. Once my boss said you should go to so and so's birthday party after work and I said NO and he said you really should...I said NO. He asked me why and I said I don't like him and you can't make me like him.

I know this is a character defect but I have always seen work as work.......I think if we took a survey many of us are not doing our dream job. I think if we were it may be different........for me anyway.


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 28, 2010 7:21 pm 
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Oh I can definitely say what it is about the group aspect that bothers me.......I HAVE WORK TO DO :-) I hate stuff during the work day. If I can sit around jerking off for a birthday party for an hour, then certainly I could just as well come home an hour early and jerk off which I would definitely prefer. OR...I could go shopping for an hour which I would also prefer. I just don't really CARE about these people that much. I don't have enough time in my life for the people I DO care about and certainly don't want to waste any time pretending to care about people I could really give a shit less about. There are very few people that I have worked with over the course of time who I still talk to when I no longer work with them. It isn't just the group experience I don't like either (although we did all go out and welcome the new guy last night. I stayed 2 hours and left right about the time I started getting annoyed).

I can definitely experience joy....just not with these people.

I don't really want people at work knowing much about me either. I agree with ReRaise in that work is work. And really....these people dont' care about me either. I am sure they go home and complain about me just as much as I complain about them. I just don't PRETEND to like them on their birthday and I ask that they don't pretend to like me on mine. Let's keep it real. We are all here to do a job.

I am not feeling "quite" as annoyed this week as I was last week. Only a couple people are causing me to lose my nut and not all of them. Of course I have been staying in my office with the door locked so that could be why :-)

Cherie


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 29, 2010 11:05 am 
Sometimes I think these ovezealous social people at work just don't have a life outside of work. You guys have family, friends and more importantly a sense of self, so you're Ok with being alone at times. I think some of these folks look to the workplace to be their whole world, thier friends and family and social life. I was lucky enough to have worked in a laboratory so that for safety (and security) reasons there were no children, friends or PETS allowed! How does anyone get anything done in an environment like that? It sounds so unprofessional - no wonder you're irritable!


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 29, 2010 7:21 pm 
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Thank you for your understanding Lilly :-) You DONT get anything done with children and animals around. It is a damn madhouse. Which is why I work in my office with the blinds closed, lights off, and I have all these candles everywhere so it is very zen in there and I like it that way.

The best thing that happened today (aside from the retarded and annoying birthday potluck :roll: ) was that someone announced they are leaving the company and that someone happens to have an office that is bigger than my living room. I am next in line for seniority so that office will be mine. Can you imagine the zen when I can put a couch in there? :-) It is also a corner office with no window in the door so I can hide very easily too :-) I will have to add a lock.

Cherie


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 29, 2010 7:53 pm 
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Get one of those Trespassers will be shot.....on sight. The orange one....


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 Post subject: People are stupid.
PostPosted: Thu Apr 29, 2010 9:48 pm 
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OMG this thread is AWESOME. I've been sitting here laughing...I'm glad there's no one around right now to hear me.

Firstly, I have to say that I went through a grumpy-ass period early in my Suboxone treatment. I was pissed about everything and a lot of shit rubbed me the wrong way. This, I think, was shortly after I fell off the so-called Pink Cloud.

Looking back, here is what I think. Shit was Annoying, and I was right to be irritated by it. The thing was, that for the past 2 years or so, I had been high on dilaudid most of the time so no much really bothered me. Also, I wasn't used to taking good care of myself psychically, so I had lost my sense of boundaries. Like I was promised a raise and never got it but I didn't bring it up with my boss for a long time. Or I would just go along with crap that annoyed me because it was easier to just go with it than to try to change it.

Once I got on suboxone and got some clarity back in my life, it was like WHOA! This Shit is Not Ok. Also, I wasn't used to you know, feeling my feelings, so there was that too.

It got better as things went along though. I learned how to distinguish between annoying crap that I should just let slide and things that were real issues that I had to address. And I learned how to be more comfortable addressing the issues that needed it.

I still get fucking irritated though. Not so much at work, but at school sometimes I roll my eyes so hard that I practically give myself a concussion over the stupid crap people say. Yesterday it was some lady going on about how she would never recommend online recovery sites to her clients because they're SHADY. Gack.

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PostPosted: Fri Apr 30, 2010 7:37 am 
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DOAQ: I think you described quite well what is probably happening, with the exception of the pink cloud part because I have been on suboxone for quite a while minus the little break I took. Actually, you probably hit the nail right on the head and I should probably bring it up with my therapist at my appointment this morning. Not that I blame everything on my mother because I do love her a lot, but I was raised in a family where it was NOT ok to have feelings about anything. If you mentioned any kind of emotion you were pretty much shamed out of it within 2 minutes and told it was either diagnosable and there was something wrong with you, or that you had no right or reason to feel that way. So I have become quite good at shutting them off over time because after all, I am not supposed to have them anyways. Problem is, I think I bottle it and get annoyed. Not that I think I need to share them every single time with whoever is bugging me, but I should probably at least acknowledge them myself.

Thanks!

Cherie


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PostPosted: Mon May 03, 2010 9:32 pm 
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i'm glad i'm not the only one who finds most of the world a waste of my time...

that NO sign is priceless, infact i'm going to put one on my front door of my house tonight! :twisted:


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