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PostPosted: Fri Jan 09, 2015 12:03 pm 
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Hi All:

I joined this forum a little over a couple of weeks ago, and have been reading, reading, reading posts. I even stayed up all night last week reading (I know...addictive behavior <lol>) however I have learned so much from you all.

I have been on Suboxone for close to three years, and consider myself very fortunate to have a great Suboxone MD who I've been working with since day one. I recently came off of Suboxone at the suggestion of an anesthesiologist, prior to major surgery (You can see my story under the "surgery" discussion topic [posted earlier today]).

Thank heavens I am back on Suboxone now--8 mg./day for the last couple of weeks. My Suboxone MD raised my dose from the 4 mg./day that I had been on for about a year and a half. I didn't ask why, but I think that he raised the dose due to my going into a suicidal depression following the surgery and while I was totally off of Suboxone.

I strongly believe that being on Suboxone definitely helps my mood and in many ways has saved my life. I have suffered from severe, treatment-resistant depression for over 30 years, and currently am prescribed Zoloft, Abilify, oxazepam, and Ritalin by my psychiatrist who I've worked with for almost 20 years. He has tried everything in the book to help my depression, anxiety, and PTSD. I've even had ECT once. Seriously though, I think that I have been on at least one med in every class of psychotropic medication made. I pretty much go into a suicidal depression at least twice a year, and this has been going on for my entire adult life.

Pills and addiction have been an integral part of my life too since I was 15 years old, at which time I found that the Valiums and Seconals in mom and dad's medicine cabinet helped make the pain from years of my mom's abuse easier to live with. Then, in my mid-twenties, I was hit with panic disorder and major clinical depression, and the PTSD.

Then in the 2000s, I had major pain and problems with my lumbar spine. The pain was so bad that eventually my pain management doctor had me taking a fairly hefty dose of Fentanyl and Actiq, and I could barely walk due to stenosis, osteoarthritis, and three herniated discs in my lumbar spine. During this time, I (of course) "experimented" with my pain meds, finding them to be the best antidepressants known to mankind! This behavior led to my almost O.D.ing, being "fired" by my pain management doc, and having 14 hour thoracic-lumbosacral fusion surgery.

I (rightly so) had my a** kicked by all of the docs post, back surgery, and was put on methadone for four years until I began self-medicating my depression with that one too. Went through induction, and have now been on Suboxone for a few months shy of 3 years.

I feel very strongly that Suboxone has given me my life back. the depression is still there (though not as severe). I have been at my job for over eight years, and best of all, I have almost no more addictive behaviors, and they have improved over the time that I've been on Suboxone. My urges to self-medicate my depression and anxiety have greatly diminished since being on Suboxone. Occasionally I slip up with the Ritalin, but that only occurs on rare occasions, and I am working hard with my psychiatrist and social worker to eliminate this behavior.

I hope to keep improving and am so very thankful to have found this forum and and the wisdom of Dr. Junig, and all who post here. I look forward to both reading, and contributing as my journey continues.

Thank you for taking the time to read my post!

-gossamerwings


"Knowledge is Power"

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PostPosted: Fri Jan 09, 2015 3:32 pm 
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Hello and welcome! I enjoyed reading ur post. I found this forum months ago and I have been on subs for almost 3 yrs also. Man I wish I'd found this place when I first started my subs. It sure would've helped me a lot because I had no ppl to talk to outside my clinic and clinic meetings. I'm glad I found it regardless though, better late than never. My life has been totally changed since I have been on subs, I always say I didn't think I would ever have a chance at normal living again. I had pretty much just gave up after rehabs, detoxes, trying cold turkey....I could get clean but the cravings always sucked me bk in. So for me to be able to be sitting here 3 yrs later being happy and in peace is such a blessing. I has just gave in to the fact that if I wanted to be clean, I would just have to be in a huge state of depression and try to live like that. It's truly amazing the transformation that happens. It takes u from despair to happy. I'm so thankful and very happy to hear from other ppl also who feels the same way I do. Welcome and keep posting!!

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PostPosted: Fri Jan 09, 2015 3:44 pm 
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Hi goss,your post was a good read for me..I too suffer with PTSD although mine is from Iraq so our reasons are hella different still the same outcome..I hope you keep posting because seems like your treatment experiences could help me as well ..I am taking a few meds to help with all of that plus depression as well..My depression seemed to get worse when i started suboxone (only 6 weeks ago)but i chalked that up to the struggle of quitting the devil and starting treatment so i certainly didn't notice any mental help from the suboxone other than it saved my life which is kinda a big deal lol..Now i am just rambling as i tend to do ,,so keep posting and glad to have you


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PostPosted: Fri Jan 09, 2015 5:04 pm 
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Hey alwaysthesame:
Thanks so much for your warm welcome! Glad you enjoyed reading my novella <lol>
I encourage you to stick with the Suboxone! It's a bit difficult for me to remember what it was like when I first started Sub, but if my memory serves me right, I think that it took a while for me to stabilize on it, and although I started at something like 24 mg., I was on 4 mg./day until recent surgery and feeling very "centered." I can tell you one thing though--my psychiatrist and I have had many discussions about how Suboxone has an antidepressant effect because I am not his only patient taking it, and I am not the only one whose depression has improved on it. My Suboxone MD also thinks that it helps my depression. I'm no clinician, but I can tell you that it has made a difference in my life, so hang in there, and keep posting, too! And remember--depression and PTSD can be tough little monsters, however it IS possible to learn how to live with it/them, and have a life worth living! Also, if you just recently began taking the antidepressants, it's quite possible that they haven't kicked in yet.
Take care,
-gw

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PostPosted: Fri Jan 09, 2015 5:20 pm 
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hey jennjenn:
Thank you so much for your warm welcome! Sounds as if we have some similarities. Can you believe it's been almost 3 years since we've been on Subs?! I am so glad to hear your story and to hear that you are happy! It's kinda funny, but I am usually good about researching stuff, but this time with my surgery, I could have saved myself a lot of pain by more diligently looking for Suboxone info. Well, it's water under the bridge, so I am glad to be here regardless. And I think that I am going to be on Suboxone for a long time to come since it's so helpful. Look forward to reading more of your posts.

-gw

"Knowledge is Power"

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Fond Du Lac Psychiatry
Dr. Jeffrey Junig, M.D., Ph.D.

  • Board Certified Psychiatrist
  • Asst Clinical Professor, Medical College of Wisconsin

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