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 Post subject: Introducing myself
PostPosted: Thu May 19, 2016 3:45 pm 
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So, I've looked at a few suboxone forums and I think this is a good one. I've used suboxone consistently since 2007 or 2008 and I am ready to get off. Truthfully, when I started I had no idea it would be as habit forming as it turned out to be. I'm not even sure the doctor knew it. I was on about a two month 10-15 lortab/Xanax/soma cocktail and did not want to go through the few days detox that would have been cold turkey. I took 16mgs. maybe 20 hrs since my last dose and experienced the worst case of 'withdrawal' I had ever had. 4 or 5 days on the couch with violent vomitting, nausea/dizzy, dry heaves I ever had. I was finally able to keep some water, Gatorade, and soup down and then I used suboxone daily until I had major surgery in 2011, when I used morphine, Percocet, and lyrical for about 4 months, thinking that would be easier to kick. I went into hospital detox and they put me on suboxone! I know I am responsible for my actions so no blame. During that time I was dx'ed and treated for prostate cancer and went through a divorce. I know I used suboxone for emotional pain also. Still do.
That brings me to today. I'm on 4mgs. daily. I've gotten 15 8mg. films for the last three months and I'm ready to taper. I know there's some good taper plans out there, I'm sure on this site. I've joined this support community because I have none out here.
More of my story. I started using opiates when I was 16 years old. I was on methadone for practically all of the '70's when not using heroin. The only times I was clean was when in jail or prison. That was my life until the end of the '80's when I was released for the last time. The reason I quit getting locked up was because I got into 12 step recovery during my last stint and kept it up when I got out. I became a counselor and my whole life was around recovery. I relapsed after almost 12 years sobriety, sober again for about 4 years before the binge that led to suboxone.
And here I am. I am doing this completely alone. I cannot share this with anyone I know because I am afraid of what would happen if word got out. I have passed a couple of U/A's for job hires but they were not 12 panel tests. I'm not working now and I am scared to death that the next new hire test will be on a 12 panel. I know the power of keeping secrets, I know how damaging to the psych, and the soul, that is. But I cannot share this with anyone I know. I cannot afford to see a therapist who would be ethics bound to confidence but I know a lot of them in my town and my name is known.
There is much more but that's it for now. I truly want to be clean and I know I need support, so I'm choosing to get it from this forum. Thanks for creating this. I've read many of the posts and I can see and feel the love and concern. Thanks. Zorro


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 Post subject: Re: Introducing myself
PostPosted: Thu May 19, 2016 4:17 pm 
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Joined: Wed May 18, 2016 7:17 pm
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Hello Zorro,

It sounds like your committed to stopping suboxone, but have you figured out how to deal with emotional pain more effectively? You can taper off, and I and others can help you with that, but I would look at how you can better deal with emotional pain since that sounds like a trigger for use. Do you have a significant other to lean on? Others will likely have good advice for this part, so I can share some taper details that I feel pretty qualified to share since I've had failed tapers prior to my successful one and the physical discomfort is not that bad.

The bad news is that to do a proper taper, in my opinion based on my experience, is your going to need longer than 3 months. The good news is you have more than enough strips to do this properly. :D


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 Post subject: Re: Introducing myself
PostPosted: Fri May 20, 2016 9:13 am 
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Joined: Mon Sep 15, 2014 7:15 pm
Posts: 2313
Location: Tennessee
Hey Zorro welcome to the forum!

This forum is unbelievable in getting support. Everyone here genuinely cares for each other and want full success. We're addicts that can relate to each other.

I haven't done any major taper other than going from 16mg to 12mg to 8mg lol and I am choosing suboxone long term. But there's all kinds of ppl here that can help u with questions u may have. There's ppl here who choose sub long term, ppl who're in the tapering process and ppl who's totally tapered off with full success and helps motivate others during their process. Read around on the "Stopping Suboxone" section, you'll find all kinds of different threads there from ppl who's been/at exactly where ur at right now. Start ur own tapering journey there if ya want, some ppl do that as a journal type thing to go bk and look bk on too.

This forum is a pro-sub place where we all come together and support each other. Please stick around and ask any questions u need to! Good luck with ur taper!!

_________________
Jennifer


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