It is currently Wed Aug 23, 2017 6:03 pm



All times are UTC - 5 hours [ DST ]


Our Sponsors





Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 3 posts ] 
Author Message
PostPosted: Sun Jul 12, 2009 3:49 am 
Offline
Average Poster
Average Poster

Joined: Sun Jul 12, 2009 2:56 am
Posts: 4
If you dont want to read my long drug history skip down to my suboxone story, I would really like feedback on that please!

My shortened drug history:

My name is Ed and I am an addict. I first started using opiates when I was 14. The first thing I ever did was I stole some of my moms vicodin and I loved it. I did opiates (just pain killers) on and off then I tried Oxy when I was 15 and was BLOWN AWAY. I called the dude that got it for me for almost a month straight trying to get more but he wouldn't get me any more because he could see I liked it way too much and would become addicted. In the next few years I would do various opiates/opioids (and any other drugs I could get my hands on) but never became actually physically addicted (I am sure I was mentally addicted) to any drugs. That changed when I turned 17 and found another kid whose dad would sell his morphine pills for 30 mg pills for only $5 a piece. Needless to say I got addicted quick. I still remember the first night I experienced withdrawal and how scary it was and it finally dawned on me how deep the shit I just got myself into was. Boy did I feel stupid, I was no longer being a dumb and carefree teenager getting high with my friends, I was a true drug addict. I should have just given up right then and gotten help but I didn't. The morphine started getting less and less effective then I got into heroin. To make along story short I was using heroin on and off (first just smoked the shit, then snorted it, then started shooting it) from the ages of 18-21. One day when I was basically at rock bottom and I had no money and the lease was up on the place I was couch crashing at so I had to move out I realized I was going to have to actually pay rent and support myself. I knew as long as I was using heroin there is no way that would be possible. I decided to try detox.

My Suboxone Story:

I checked myself into a detox that used suboxone. Probably the smartest thing I have ever done. I was basically given a script with no refills, the detox doctor just gave me enough till I could find a treatment doctor. I didn't want to do treatment because I thought it would be too expensive. It was enough suboxone to get the H out of my system. My plan was to use the prescribed daily amount of suboxone till I all the heroin was out of my system then I would taper off the suboxone and I would be okay. Well it wasn't that easy, after using up my prescription to the suboxone after about 3 days of not taking the suboxone I started to actually go through suboxone withdrawal! Even though it was musch less severe than heroin it still sucked. Within 2 weeks I was back on the h. I did heroin again for around two months than said fuck this and actually started real suboxone treatment. I have now been on suboxone since September 2008 and have been 100% opiate clean since February 2009 (I used heroin a handful of times the first few months of my Suboxone treatment). I am doing so well now, I have almost (the key word being almost) no cravings for H and I am doing well at my job and I actually have money. My family is very proud of me. There is only one thing that worries me. Ok, so now I got off the hard stuff, how do I get off this stuff? I take 16 mgs a day, I think next time I talk to my doctor I will talk about tapering down. I am just afraid of getting off the suboxone then relapsing again because I will get all depressed (that seemed to be the worse symptom of my suboxone withdrawal) and not be able to sleep and feel like shit. Any help? Have any of you been able to kick suboxone and stay off all opiates?


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Jul 12, 2009 10:37 am 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Mon Apr 13, 2009 2:11 am
Posts: 427
Location: Fishers, Indiana
Hey there :) so glad you've chosen to join us here at Suboxforum. We so appreciate it when people share their stories with us we'd like to encourage you to continue to keep posting. I'd like to just share a few things that I've learned since I've started Suboxone and quit using dope perhaps the most important of which being that I now know there is nothing wrong with staying on Suboxone if it's helping me regardless of how I take it, even if it's an indefinite period of time I'm not using anymore. That means I have a steady job, am back in school, have formed many new important relationships with family and friends and am generally much more happy with where I am in life now. I too at first felt like I needed to get off Suboxone eventually but that has really changed over time as I've seen many people continually relapse who've decided to try their odds at staying clean on their own. It certainly can be done I think but the only successfull stories have been from those who've used an extremely slow tapering method and have a strong plan for what they're going to do on a daily basis to stay clean afterwords whether that means N.A., SMART recovery, individual counseling, volunteering at a local treatment facility for other addicts, the list goes on it's just a matter of personal preference. I also do not want to come across as being discouraging as I will always be hoping for the best for everyone here because I know the hell of active using. I'm just trying to say that many of us here have realized the often times fatal nature of opiate addiction and the extremely high rate of relapse, many times this has been through watching those close to us unable to stop using and eventually dying from the disease.

My suggestion to you then would be to at least consider staying on Suboxone more long term if it's working for you and if it's not that's fine but look into a slow method of tapering. If you decide to stay on Sub and your current doctor doesn't believe in long term maintenance you can always look into finding another who does. Diary of a Quitter has her own personal blog along with many posts on this forum about using a water tapering method that allows for very gradual dose reductions which become very important once you make it below the 4mg ceiling of buprenorphine. Withdrawal is never fun but at least from what I've heard from those who taper very slowly (over the course of months to even over the course of a year) are able to avoid the most miserable of the withdrawal symptoms. I would also like to point out again that it is very important to have a plan for staying clean once tapered off as many have found out that after coming off Suboxone their obsession to use opiates is still there. We certainly can learn a new way of life and make many positive changes while on Suboxone that can help us stay clean when and if you decide to taper off. Just take some time to consider both options before making your final decision and realize that if you do choose to taper off it will probably be a good idea to think about getting back on Suboxone asap if you for some reason do start using illicit opiates again which can often times stop the addictive cycle before the relapse gets worse (and in my personal experience they always get worse).

Anyways that's all I can think of at the moment, again we're very glad to have you here with us and hope you'll continue to keep posting.

_________________
"If you're going through hell, ....keep going!"
-Winston Churchill


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Jul 13, 2009 12:41 am 
Offline
Average Poster
Average Poster

Joined: Sun Jul 12, 2009 2:56 am
Posts: 4
Thank you, that was actually extremely helpfull, every thing you said. It was weird, when I quit suboxone the first time I became obsessed with thinking of heroin and thinking about doing it all the time. I don't get that at all being on suboxone.


Top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 3 posts ] 

All times are UTC - 5 hours [ DST ]


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 0 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
Our Sponsors
Suboxone Forum latest topics RSS feed Subscribe to the entire forum
 

 

 
Fond Du Lac Psychiatry
Dr. Jeffrey Junig, M.D., Ph.D.

  • Board Certified Psychiatrist
  • Asst Clinical Professor, Medical College of Wisconsin

Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group