It is currently Wed Aug 16, 2017 10:03 am



All times are UTC - 5 hours [ DST ]


Our Sponsors





Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 46 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2, 3  Next
Author Message
 Post subject: Intoverted/Extroverted
PostPosted: Sun Aug 03, 2014 1:56 pm 
Offline
Moderator
Moderator
User avatar

Joined: Thu Feb 23, 2012 4:42 am
Posts: 4127
I've been thinking a lot about people who are introverted versus extroverted. The Meyers-Briggs Personality Test (based on Carl Jung's theories) describes the difference based on the way you recharge yourself. An extrovert needs to be around other people to gain energy and maintain their balance. An introvert needs to be alone to recharge. I'm paraphrasing, of course.

I used to score slightly on the extroverted side. I've always loved people and I usually find it fairly easy to put others at ease with small talk. I'll strike up conversations with strangers with little problem. It's like I can put my "extroverted face" on when I need to. However, it wears me down to do so.

Since my addiction, which started in my mid 30s, I've become MUCH more introverted. At first when I started a life of recovery I could barely leave my house for a couple hours at a time. It's been almost 3 years and I've worked my way up to being able to work 4 to 5 days a week away from home. Sometimes I have to psych myself up to it if it gets into my brain that I can't do it! I usually use logic and it overcomes my fears and anxiety. Mostly that works. However, I LIVE to be at home, often holed up in my room with my books and computer. It's my safe place.

My sister (who is also an introvert) thinks I'm weird and is concerned that I want/need to spend a portion of my day in my bedroom to decompress, relax, recharge my energy, etc. (Of course she is single and lives home alone, so her whole house is her safe zone.) I don't have to be by myself in my room, btw.

I wonder a couple things. Is it strange of me to have a room in my house where I'm most comfortable? Is it weird that I seek to spend time awake there every day or I can get cranky, tired, and anxious? What was it about addiction that changed me into a near agoraphobic (fear of leaving home)? I haven't been able to figure that last one out at all!

If anyone has any insight into my questions I would really appreciate it!

Amy

_________________
Done is better than perfect!


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Sun Aug 03, 2014 3:43 pm 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Thu Jun 26, 2014 4:41 am
Posts: 712
Location: Connected
Hi Amy,
Interesting topic. I forget, if you don't mind sharing, are you on suboxone maintenance or any other medication currently?

I am by "nature" an extrovert, but hopefully not the kind that has to be the center of attention and annoys everyone else - ha ha ha. I am definitely feeling more comfortable in my "nature" again and more confident to just be "me" since coming off subs.

I don't feel one way (introvert or extrovert) is any "better" than the other at all btw. IMO the important thing is to be true to our authentic selves and lead an authentic life to the best of our abilities, and I also beleive that will always involve service of "some" kind if we are to find peace, even if it is doing "your part" in the "big plan" from the comfort and privacy of your own cozy space :D .
And I think everyone needs time alone to recharge sometimes, right? I think that is quite "normal", or??
BF

_________________
"BE the change that you wish to see in the world"

Mahatma Gandhi


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Sun Aug 03, 2014 4:00 pm 
Offline
Moderator
Moderator
User avatar

Joined: Thu Feb 23, 2012 4:42 am
Posts: 4127
I've been on 2 mg a day for almost 2 years. Before that I was on 16 mg. I felt no difference when tapering.

Amy

_________________
Done is better than perfect!


Top
 Profile  
 
Our Sponsors
PostPosted: Sun Aug 03, 2014 4:25 pm 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Thu Jun 26, 2014 4:41 am
Posts: 712
Location: Connected
Amy-Work In Progress wrote:
I've been on 2 mg a day for almost 2 years. Before that I was on 16 mg. I felt no difference when tapering.

Amy

Hey Amy,
That is awesome that you tapered from 16 mgs to 2 with no problem! Wow! Again, i don't mean to pry or push at all, I totally understand that for some people suboxone maintenance is the best option, I am just curious, have you considered tapering to "zero" and stabalizing to see what your "personality" is like then? When I got down to 2mgs I definitely felt "better" than at 12mgs, but now that I am at "zero" feel much much more 'myself' and all my relationships are improving, with the exception of some difficulties still with my husband who is still on a relatively high dose of subs plus zoloft, so he is having issures adjusting to the "new and improved me".
bf

_________________
"BE the change that you wish to see in the world"

Mahatma Gandhi


Last edited by ButterFLYING! on Sun Aug 03, 2014 8:57 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Sun Aug 03, 2014 4:54 pm 
Offline
Moderator
Moderator
User avatar

Joined: Thu Feb 23, 2012 4:42 am
Posts: 4127
Hi BF,

I understand that one of the possibilities is that I'm still on an opiate. However, I would like opinions on this beyond "being on sub vs. not being on sub".

I appreciate your comments and your experience. I also like the way you frame your statements with such positivity! :) I think back to what Romeo has said. When he got off sub he attributed feeling better/feeling different to being off sub. He was somewhat surprised and dismayed, however, when he noticed negative feelings and traits coming back and finding out that they were still there and needed dealing with.

I would really like to hear from folks who may have shared these experiences or explored them with a therapist. I can usually understand the psychology of why people do things, including myself, but this one has me stumped!

Amy

_________________
Done is better than perfect!


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Sun Aug 03, 2014 5:21 pm 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Sun Jan 19, 2014 4:54 pm
Posts: 626
Location: Virginia
Amy, you andi sound a lot alike. I'd like to post more on this topic right now but I'm in the car on the way home from an exhausting day of back to school shopping. my kids go back next week! summer flew by too quickly! I will post more once I'm back home and settled, it'll be a couple hours but I'll be back, k?


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Sun Aug 03, 2014 5:28 pm 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Thu Oct 21, 2010 10:39 am
Posts: 4028
Location: Sitting at my computer
Hey Amy, good topic!!

I don't know how useful my input will be, but here goes....

I've been introverted my whole life. If anything, while on drugs (I should say while high), I was less introverted and a good deal more extroverted. Once I finally got off drugs, I think my true nature of being more introverted returned. But I also think my addiction, even though I wasn't using drugs anymore, plays a part in my introversion.

In your case, you were more extroverted. Once your addiction started, it sounds like you've become more introverted. I think addiction, for the most part, is a disorder that includes isolating. Is your introversion due to your addiction or is it maybe just a part of natural events for you? It's hard to say. I think the simple fact that you're exploring it is good for you, though.

I don't think it's strange of you to have a room in your house where you're most comfortable. Our TV room is my most comfortable spot. Also, like you, given the choice of being out and about or being at home, I'll usually choose to be at home. What I have to be cognizant of is the balance. Too much being out OR too much time holed up at home....neither is good. I understand I'm an introvert and I like my time alone, but that doesn't mean it's ok for me to isolate. KWIM?

As for you sister being an introvert, but thinking it's weird you need time in your room......I think you already nailed it when you said her whole house is her "safe" area. Also, she may be less introverted than you. She may have many extrovert traits and I remember reading this in an introversion book I read; extroverts seem to have a heck of a time understanding us introverts. We just don't make sense to them. Funny enough, we introverts understand extroverts easily.

_________________
Be kind to yourself. Our character defects do NOT define who we are!


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Sun Aug 03, 2014 5:35 pm 
Offline
6 Months or More
6 Months or More
User avatar

Joined: Sun Jan 26, 2014 10:54 am
Posts: 215
Location: NY
Amy-Work In Progress wrote:
I've been thinking a lot about people who are introverted versus extroverted. The Meyers-Briggs Personality Test (based on Carl Jung's theories) describes the difference based on the way you recharge yourself. An extrovert needs to be around other people to gain energy and maintain their balance. An introvert needs to be alone to recharge. I'm paraphrasing, of course.

I used to score slightly on the extroverted side. I've always loved people and I usually find it fairly easy to put others at ease with small talk. I'll strike up conversations with strangers with little problem. It's like I can put my "extroverted face" on when I need to. However, it wears me down to do so.

Since my addiction, which started in my mid 30s, I've become MUCH more introverted. At first when I started a life of recovery I could barely leave my house for a couple hours at a time. It's been almost 3 years and I've worked my way up to being able to work 4 to 5 days a week away from home. Sometimes I have to psych myself up to it if it gets into my brain that I can't do it! I usually use logic and it overcomes my fears and anxiety. Mostly that works. However, I LIVE to be at home, often holed up in my room with my books and computer. It's my safe place.

My sister (who is also an introvert) thinks I'm weird and is concerned that I want/need to spend a portion of my day in my bedroom to decompress, relax, recharge my energy, etc. (Of course she is single and lives home alone, so her whole house is her safe zone.) I don't have to be by myself in my room, btw.

I wonder a couple things. Is it strange of me to have a room in my house where I'm most comfortable? Is it weird that I seek to spend time awake there every day or I can get cranky, tired, and anxious? What was it about addiction that changed me into a near agoraphobic (fear of leaving home)? I haven't been able to figure that last one out at all!

If anyone has any insight into my questions I would really appreciate it!

Amy

_________________
Fear is Temporary, Regret is Forever


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Sun Aug 03, 2014 5:43 pm 
Offline
6 Months or More
6 Months or More
User avatar

Joined: Sun Jan 26, 2014 10:54 am
Posts: 215
Location: NY
Amy-Work In Progress wrote:
I've been thinking a lot about people who are introverted versus extroverted. The Meyers-Briggs Personality Test (based on Carl Jung's theories) describes the difference based on the way you recharge yourself. An extrovert needs to be around other people to gain energy and maintain their balance. An introvert needs to be alone to recharge. I'm paraphrasing, of course.

I used to score slightly on the extroverted side. I've always loved people and I usually find it fairly easy to put others at ease with small talk. I'll strike up coJiminversations with strangers with little problem. It's like I can put my "extroverted face" on when I need to. However, it wears me down to do so.

Since my addiction, which started in my mid 30s, I've become MUCH more introverted. At first when I started a life of recovery I could barely leave my house for a couple hours at a time. It's been almost 3 years and I've worked my way up to being able to work 4 to 5 days a week away from home. Sometimes I have to psych myself up to it if it gets into my brain that I can't do it! I usually use logic and it overcomes my fears and anxiety. Mostly that works. However, I LIVE to be at home, often holed up in my room with my books and computer. It's my safe place.

My sister (who is also an introvert) thinks I'm weird and is concerned that I want/need to spend a portion of my day in my bedroom to decompress, relax, recharge my energy, etc. (Of course she is single and lives home alone, so her whole house is her safe zone.) I don't have to be by myself in my room, btw.

I wonder a couple things. Is it strange of me to have a room in my house where I'm most comfortable? Is it weird that I seek to spend time awake there every day or I can get cranky, tired, and anxious? What was it about addiction that changed me into a near agoraphobic (fear of leaving home)? I haven't been able to figure that last one out at all!

If anyone has any insight into my questions I would really appreciate it!

Amy


Depression leads to isolation. You obviously ssee that something isnt right if you feel like an introvert. Btw, You can go to a thousand doctors and never get a good answer. You would probably end up on some pill too. I would focus on your health, what your taking ect. If you still feel isolated, maybe you have depression. Maybe not. This interests me because i was convinced by like, 15 doctors that i had adhd, social phobia and depression. It was much more simple

_________________
Fear is Temporary, Regret is Forever


Top
 Profile  
 
   
PostPosted: Sun Aug 03, 2014 10:00 pm 
Offline
Moderator
Moderator
User avatar

Joined: Thu Feb 23, 2012 4:42 am
Posts: 4127
h0pe wrote:
Amy-Work In Progress wrote:
I've been thinking a lot about people who are introverted versus extroverted. The Meyers-Briggs Personality Test (based on Carl Jung's theories) describes the difference based on the way you recharge yourself. An extrovert needs to be around other people to gain energy and maintain their balance. An introvert needs to be alone to recharge. I'm paraphrasing, of course.

I used to score slightly on the extroverted side. I've always loved people and I usually find it fairly easy to put others at ease with small talk. I'll strike up coJiminversations with strangers with little problem. It's like I can put my "extroverted face" on when I need to. However, it wears me down to do so.

Since my addiction, which started in my mid 30s, I've become MUCH more introverted. At first when I started a life of recovery I could barely leave my house for a couple hours at a time. It's been almost 3 years and I've worked my way up to being able to work 4 to 5 days a week away from home. Sometimes I have to psych myself up to it if it gets into my brain that I can't do it! I usually use logic and it overcomes my fears and anxiety. Mostly that works. However, I LIVE to be at home, often holed up in my room with my books and computer. It's my safe place.

My sister (who is also an introvert) thinks I'm weird and is concerned that I want/need to spend a portion of my day in my bedroom to decompress, relax, recharge my energy, etc. (Of course she is single and lives home alone, so her whole house is her safe zone.) I don't have to be by myself in my room, btw.

I wonder a couple things. Is it strange of me to have a room in my house where I'm most comfortable? Is it weird that I seek to spend time awake there every day or I can get cranky, tired, and anxious? What was it about addiction that changed me into a near agoraphobic (fear of leaving home)? I haven't been able to figure that last one out at all!

If anyone has any insight into my questions I would really appreciate it!

Amy


Depression leads to isolation. You obviously ssee that something isnt right if you feel like an introvert. Btw, You can go to a thousand doctors and never get a good answer. You would probably end up on some pill too. I would focus on your health, what your taking ect. If you still feel isolated, maybe you have depression. Maybe not. This interests me because i was convinced by like, 15 doctors that i had adhd, social phobia and depression. It was much more simple


Hmmm... I don't know that you're understanding how I feel. I actually don't feel depressed or isolated.

Extroverted people do have a hard time understanding introverts. They can't understand why being alone appeals to introverts because it makes them feel bored. But it's not an abnormal state, being an introvert. And introverted people don't feel depressed and isolated. To us being alone or just with our immediate family is comfortable. I'm just wondering if anyone else has gone through this shift from extrovert to introvert. And I wonder if other introverts feel like they need their alone time too. Has anyone ever given you crap for wanting to spend time alone?

Thanks, Hope, for answering my post. I appreciate it! :)

Amy

_________________
Done is better than perfect!


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Mon Aug 04, 2014 12:00 am 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Sun Jan 19, 2014 4:54 pm
Posts: 626
Location: Virginia
I had a reply bouncing around my head after reading your post Amy and then I read romeo's response and echo what he said. I was certainly an introvert prior to my addiction, and when I was abusing opiates, I felt like the drugs cured my social anxieties, and made me more comfortable around others and taking to people. Of course, I was wrong and all I was doing was masking my real personality, and as soon as I began working on my recovery and taking suboxone, that "wanna stay home" and "have alone time" became very important to me again. I don't think there's anything wrong with that perse, as long as you can manage it to the point where it's not interfering with your daily life. Balance, as Romeo put it, basically. For instance, today, I hadn't planned on going anywhere and was looking forward to lying around the house a bit, catching up the laundry, and floating around the pool all afternoon. So when Steve first suggested going out, I felt a knot in my stomach, and immediately tried to get out of going but could tell that it would disappoint him if we didn't go,so I got ready and we went. All the way there I felt anxiety and was irritated that I was missing out on my "me" time. Once I was at the mall and shopping,I was able to make small talk with the store clerk and accomplish alot today, which I felt good aboutbecause sometimes I dread going to be out so much I'll let the cupboards go nearly bare before g going to thegrocery store,but like you, it was exhausting for me. once on the way home, I was anxious to get there and to my safe place... "my TV room/living room chair" my ex husband takes the kids for two weeks a month, and although I miss then when they're not here, I also look forward to the alone time. I don't let this show in their presence. Sometimes I even dread the idea of having company come over and disturb my time alone. I am working in therapy right now on my social anxiety issues my doctor says that the best thing I can do is to go places as often as necessary to start with and become more comfortable with doing the necessary things first,(practicing this regularly is supposed to take away the feeling of dreading it), then begin trying to get out of the house for other purposes, like visiting people or going out to eat etc. so, I have to recognize those feelings coming on and just push through them until they become less pronounced . it's definitely a work in progress.

my doctor does however agree that all people are different and not everyone is supposed to be extroverted and completely comfortable being around others all the time. It's okay to be a home body so to speak, as long as I don't become a shut in. lol:) I think I've made much progress on this issue,especially while baseball season was in full swing. I had to work5 to 6 days per week plus go to practice or games every day.... no choice,just had to. The dread faded as the season progressed, and once there,I was able to enjoy the games and practices, and felt pretty great about it to because in years past, I'd spend the entire time waiting for a phone call from my dealer or dope sick praying for it to be over with asap.... What an improvement! As a wise member here had told me many times, progress not perfection!
How do you feel about your introversion, If I may ask? Do you feel it interferes with your life to an inconvenient extent? Do you feel is improved as your recovery had progressed? Imo, as long as those things are occurring,you're doing alright. Nothing wrong with recharging those batteries! And I can absolutely testify that the time you spend on your computer, this forum, namely, certainly isn't time wasted. Your input and caring, nonjudgmental, compassionate, and well thought out posts evidence that.


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Mon Aug 04, 2014 7:14 am 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Thu Jun 26, 2014 4:41 am
Posts: 712
Location: Connected
Hi Amy,
:D K, I understand you "don't want" this to be a "subs vs no subs" conversation, and I have been "resisting" chiming in here again, but have a hard time keeping my mouth shut (I am an extrovert after all- ha ha ha!) And although I definitely have a "spiritual" foundation, I am also all about facts and science and "seeking truth" when it can be discovered.
If you want to disregard this post, no problem, and I surely do not mean any disrespect by it and I hope you understand that. I am not in any way "bashing" or judging anyone who makes the choice to stay on subs- remember I was for EIGHT YEARS, so who I am to judge, right? And I believe the justification for supporting sub maintenance is that it is better than the alternative, which is eventual death though illicit drug abuse, right?
THAT said, you seem to me to be a very intelligent, caring, wise and strong woman from what I've gathered. If you REALLY want to know if you are an "introvert or extrovert" by "nature' (that means NATURALLY- right?) I believe the only "logical" choice is to jump the subs, wait it out and rediscover your true personality.
I think you can discuss and wonder about your behavior and what is "healthy" and "normal" for you until the cows come home (a little "Wisconsin" metaphor- ha ha). But until you return to your "natural" state, (i.e. drug /chemical free) you will not have a factual answer to your question.
I think you are an awesome person and my intent is that I would like what is "best" for you. If you have your shit together as you seem to, and there is no real danger of you returning to a drug lifestyle, I would be very curious as to how you feel and act sub free. From what i have read and experienced here, not one person who has decided to jump has regretted it or said they felt "worse" after the wdl period than while on sub maintenance. And look how JI, Trainer, Romeo (and I'm sure many many others) just "bloomed" post subs, whether that be in relation to a return to their "natural" extroverted or introverted nature. There is a peace that comes with being true to your authentic self and IMO there is no way of knowing "who" that is while taking a manufactured chemical that affects our brains and the "essence" or our personalities.
On subs I had anxiety speaking in front of groups and I isolated majorly and preferred to stay home. that was not "me" at all- that was the drug. I feel like I am "living" again and it is a great feeling that I would like to help others (who would also like that and are "ready" ) to also acheive.

K, I think I have said my "piece" and wish you, Amy, "Peace!"
:D BF

_________________
"BE the change that you wish to see in the world"

Mahatma Gandhi


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Mon Aug 04, 2014 10:36 am 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Thu Oct 21, 2010 10:39 am
Posts: 4028
Location: Sitting at my computer
Amy-Work In Progress wrote:
Has anyone ever given you crap for wanting to spend time alone?


That would be a big 10-4 on that one, good buddy!!

When friends or family members do make comments about my alone time, it kinda hurts, but then again I quickly remind myself that a lot of people simply don't understand our need for alone time. If the questions or comments get pointed, I will attempt to explain introversion/extroversion to them, but that doesn't always work. For the most part, I guess I just shrug most of it off.

Also, like you said, being an introvert is not an abnormal state. Introversion is a personality trait, not a character defect or a shortcoming. Understanding this helps me.

_________________
Be kind to yourself. Our character defects do NOT define who we are!


Top
 Profile  
 
   
PostPosted: Mon Aug 04, 2014 6:29 pm 
Offline
Moderator
Moderator
User avatar

Joined: Thu Feb 23, 2012 4:42 am
Posts: 4127
lizzieshug2013 wrote:
How do you feel about your introversion, If I may ask? Do you feel it interferes with your life to an inconvenient extent? Do you feel is improved as your recovery had progressed? Imo, as long as those things are occurring,you're doing alright. Nothing wrong with recharging those batteries! And I can absolutely testify that the time you spend on your computer, this forum, namely, certainly isn't time wasted. Your input and caring, nonjudgmental, compassionate, and well thought out posts evidence that.


Lizzie,

Have I told you lately that I love you? I know that's a lyric to a song that I don't particularly like, but you are just too sweet. And thank you for asking how I feel instead of telling me what I should be doing.

Between you and Romeo I actually want this thread to continue. I had thought about throwing up my hands and deleting the whole thread because people are coming on with an agenda instead of really listening to what I'm saying and commenting on the questions I'm actually asking.

BF, please don't take this the wrong way. But I'm not interested in being encouraged to get off subs right now. The image I present here is probably a whole lot better than how I actually feel. In fact, by starting this thread I am showing some vulnerability and reaching out to others who feel the same way. It may be your pet theory, BF, that I am an introvert because I'm on sub, but I'm really not interested in your theory. That's not what I was asking for. And, again, don't take this the wrong way, but you are in a period of time where everything is all rosy and great because you've recently gotten off sub. Romeo suggests that there's a sort of "honeymoon" period after you get off sub. But, according to him, the negative aspects of life will return and you will have to deal with them. In other words, you may think that I'm in a state where I don't actually know who I am because of sub, but I think that you haven't truly settled into who you will ultimately be because you are "honeymooning". And I think it's just as likely that my change from barely extroverted to introverted would have happened despite the drugs, just because I'm growing older and my mom died. You got your point across quite well with your first post.

Lizzie asked me how I feel about my introversion and I feel like a whole and happy person! I have a friend with whom I talk on the phone almost every day. I'm the matron of honor in her wedding later this month. I have several other good friends where I live too. I also have life long friends who I spent time with this summer. I was away from home for over a month visiting with my Dad, my sister, several different friends and attended my high school reunion during this time too. I was 1000s of miles from home and I enjoyed it so much! I was able to spend time alone when I needed to, but I did not limit myself because of introversion.

I am not looking to "fix" my introversion, but there are times when it does trouble me. (Just like an extroverted person might be troubled because they have spread themselves too thin.) It is difficult when there is an evening activity on a day that I'm working. I really look forward to my time with my immediate family in our home as well as my alone time. So, I do have to plan things carefully because of that. I have several cousins in the area that I don't see as often as I'd like because I tend to stay home. I do struggle with that balance that Romeo and Lizzie talk about.

I added a new part time job to my schedule as of this week, so I will be working 5 full days a week. I'm not used to that! I've worked the majority of my adult life, but the jobs have been worked around my family's schedule, not the other way around. I consider this a challenge and I think it will be difficult for me to be away from home so much, but it's another step forward. I've come a long way.

Romes, thanks for your perspective. I always appreciate it. I know we've discussed introversion before outside the forum and I'm glad that you posted your ideas here. I know I need to seek a good balance and you help motivate me to do that. The fact that you have a full time job, for example, makes me know that I can do this new 5 day a week schedule too. You always inspire me and make me feel comfortable with who I am. That is a gift.

If anyone else wants to talk about being introverted or knowing others with these traits feel free to join the conversation. I don't want folks being wary to post about it because they think they will be schooled by extroverts. I would like to make this a safe space for introverts! :)

Amy

_________________
Done is better than perfect!


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Mon Aug 04, 2014 8:01 pm 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Thu Jun 26, 2014 4:41 am
Posts: 712
Location: Connected
Hey Amy,
I think I was pretty clear in my last post that I respect and do not judge anyone who wants to continue on subs. Your life, your choice, I totally get it! I truly do not have my own "agenda", just my own point of view in addressing your questions, and what I said came from a place of love.

And as far as not taking your comments the "wrong" way, well, honestly Amy, I am not sure how to take them. I thought one of the things that made this forum unique and effective was hearing all different view points from different perspectives. I'm sorry my post hit a nerve with you.

I must say the phrase a"pet theory" hurt my feelings, as if I don't take what I suggest seriously. I do try to inject some humor, but I fully understand the gravity of our collective situations here. We are discussing our lives, and how we live them, and choices that affect us deeply and all those around us. And I do not think?? I laid out a "theory" at all, but rather stated what I believe to be some facts. If my facts are incorrect, someone by all means correct me! Knowledge is power, I love to learn, and I really would like to have my facts correct, thank you!

Also as far as the "honeymoon" comment, I'm not sure what you meant by pointing that out to me? Are you saying I won't be so glad I got off subs later? Or will not feel my authentic self later, after the honey moon? I'm not so sure that is where I am now anyway if a 'honey moon" does indeed exist for everyone..... each day still has its challenges, I am just trying to focus on the positive. What about people on this forum who have been off for years and re-connected with their "true" selves? I just thought we could have a friendly, informed conversation about it, but I will stay off your thread now.
Again, I meant no disrespect.
Peace,
BF

_________________
"BE the change that you wish to see in the world"

Mahatma Gandhi


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Mon Aug 04, 2014 9:13 pm 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Thu Oct 21, 2010 10:39 am
Posts: 4028
Location: Sitting at my computer
Amy-Work In Progress wrote:
Romes, thanks for your perspective. I always appreciate it. I know we've discussed introversion before outside the forum and I'm glad that you posted your ideas here. I know I need to seek a good balance and you help motivate me to do that. The fact that you have a full time job, for example, makes me know that I can do this new 5 day a week schedule too. You always inspire me and make me feel comfortable with who I am. That is a gift.


Wow, thanks so much for saying that, Amy. That made me feel really good.

I have no doubt you can do the 5 day a week schedule. It may require some bending on your part, and that's fine. My drug counselor used to tell me it's ok to bend, just don't break. Good advice. :)

_________________
Be kind to yourself. Our character defects do NOT define who we are!


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Mon Aug 04, 2014 9:30 pm 
Offline
6 Months or More
6 Months or More
User avatar

Joined: Sun Jan 26, 2014 10:54 am
Posts: 215
Location: NY
Hey amy. Sorry, i thought you were looking for arvice because you felt like you were becoming introverted. The only agenda i have when i come here is to give advice, pertaining to things ive been through. I guess i just got the feeling that you were depressed. I get people amy, and i think i get you. Maybe not, it is the internet. If i look back to last year at this time, i was depressed, and falling aseleep all the time. I was isolated, and misserable. Suboxone is a life saver, dont take me wrong, but there's a time when enough is enough. There's alot of work that comes after suboxone. I dont really know you, but i know you had it hard, and i truly care about you, and everyone i talk to on here.

_________________
Fear is Temporary, Regret is Forever


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Mon Aug 04, 2014 9:39 pm 
Offline
6 Months or More
6 Months or More
User avatar

Joined: Sun Jan 26, 2014 10:54 am
Posts: 215
Location: NY
Amy-Work In Progress wrote:
h0pe wrote:
Amy-Work In Progress wrote:
I've been thinking a lot about people who are introverted versus extroverted. The Meyers-Briggs Personality Test (based on Carl Jung's theories) describes the difference based on the way you recharge yourself. An extrovert needs to be around other people to gain energy and maintain their balance. An introvert needs to be alone to recharge. I'm paraphrasing, of course.

I used to score slightly on the extroverted side. I've always loved people and I usually find it fairly easy to put others at ease with small talk. I'll strike up coJiminversations with strangers with little problem. It's like I can put my "extroverted face" on when I need to. However, it wears me down to do so.

Since my addiction, which started in my mid 30s, I've become MUCH more introverted. At first when I started a life of recovery I could barely leave my house for a couple hours at a time. It's been almost 3 years and I've worked my way up to being able to work 4 to 5 days a week away from home. Sometimes I have to psych myself up to it if it gets into my brain that I can't do it! I usually use logic and it overcomes my fears and anxiety. Mostly that works. However, I LIVE to be at home, often holed up in my room with my books and computer. It's my safe place.

My sister (who is also an introvert) thinks I'm weird and is concerned that I want/need to spend a portion of my day in my bedroom to decompress, relax, recharge my energy, etc. (Of course she is single and lives home alone, so her whole house is her safe zone.) I don't have to be by myself in my room, btw.

I wonder a couple things. Is it strange of me to have a room in my house where I'm most comfortable? Is it weird that I seek to spend time awake there every day or I can get cranky, tired, and anxious? What was it about addiction that changed me into a near agoraphobic (fear of leaving home)? I haven't been able to figure that last one out at all!

If anyone has any insight into my questions I would really appreciate it!

Amy


Depression leads to isolation. You obviously ssee that something isnt right if you feel like an introvert. Btw, You can go to a thousand doctors and never get a good answer. You would probably end up on some pill too. I would focus on your health, what your taking ect. If you still feel isolated, maybe you have depression. Maybe not. This interests me because i was convinced by like, 15 doctors that i had adhd, social phobia and depression. It was much more simple


Hmmm... I don't know that you're understanding how I feel. I actually don't feel depressed or isolated.

Extroverted people do have a hard time understanding introverts. They can't understand why being alone appeals to introverts because it makes them feel bored. But it's not an abnormal state, being an introvert. And introverted people don't feel depressed and isolated. To us being alone or just with our immediate family is comfortable. I'm just wondering if anyone else has gone through this shift from extrovert to introvert. And I wonder if other introverts feel like they need their alone time too. Has anyone ever given you crap for wanting to spend time alone?

Thanks, Hope, for answering my post. I appreciate it! :)

Amy


Yes, when i was a kid, i was an introvert. Since i've been 17 or 18, i guess i grew out of it. Its probably more complicated. I can remember avoiding everyone because my heart would go crazy . I would turn red, and shake too. I remember when i had a friend who passed away, it changed the way i looked at everything. Since then, i've been pretty extroverted. Opiates/opiodes reminded me a bit of my chidhood ( feeling out of control and nervous) . Sorry if i confused you earlier, was just trying to help!

_________________
Fear is Temporary, Regret is Forever


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Tue Aug 05, 2014 12:45 am 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Sun Jan 19, 2014 4:54 pm
Posts: 626
Location: Virginia
Amy, your comment about my reply earlier was so sweet and appreciated. How you feel about your introversion is perhaps the most important part of the discussion. I had a very long detailed post all typed out earlier addressing your concerns about being an introvert and addressing butterfly's comments as well, but lost the whole thing when I hit submit. ...hate that!

In a nut shell I basically said that I don't believe that one must stop taking subs and treating their addiction with suboxone in order to find their true selves. like you, i also have no interest in stopping or tapering at this time. my introverted tendencies will be there no matter what. It's just how I'm wired. I accept that about myself, as it sounds like you do as well. There are times that I struggle with the desire to isolate, but recognize that with the way my life is and my schedule, it's just not an option sometimes. That's quite possibly been one of the hardest things about recovery for me. While I was using, I had my confidence and get up and go in a pill and now I've got to power through those uncomfortable feelings without any dope on board. .. It's tough at times. But things have gotten better just by following the advice of my doctor and doing the necessary things first and becoming comfortable in those situations first, before trying to force myself into optional social situations where I know I'm going to be anxious and not in my comfort zone. Make sense? It's hard for extroverts to understand our need for alone or home time because opposite of what makes us uncomfortable being alone makes them uncomfortable, and they need to be around others to feel at ease. so, really who's to say which is a problem and which isn't? As long as our need for alone time and their need for people and social time doesn't cause any problems with relationships, jobs or other important aspects of your Life, then I just chalk it up to people are people and everyone is different. We all have different needs. I see nothing wrong at all with needing your own time in a place that's safe and comfortable for you and certainly won't be suggesting that you quit your medication and risk relapse just to see what you'll be like then. You seem to be aware that there is potentially an issue and are clearly seeking the input and help of others by posting about it here, so, in my opinion, you're doing well and doing what you need to do for your recovery.

somethingis still bothering me about butterfly's reply to your thread and it is that she seems to be saying that people who remain on suboxone are doing so only because it is better than the alternatives of jails, institutions, or death. Personally, I choose to treat my addiction with buprenorphine because it doesn't require the invasive change of personality and continued participation in the program that 12 steps recovery requires in order to remain effective. It produces the loss of obsession and craving, the hallmarks of addiction, without me having to completely change my personality. I like who I am and don't wish to change that, just hated the way I was during active addiction. I am blessed with the relief from withdrawal and the miserable symptoms of addictive disorder, while I work on issues that I need to work on without dealing with cravings and obsessing.
Even people who are smart, caring, compassionate, and knowledgeable can choose to remain on subs. It's almost like she's saying that the people who remain on suboxone are somehow settling for a less than satisfactory or fullfilling life. This is certainly not the case for me. my life now is by far more fulfilling and healthy than it was even prior to my addiction. I don't think it's necessary to stop taking medication to find our true selves, or to have a more authentic recovery, and I think it'sa bit dangerous to suggest that anyone stop their medication to for somoene else's idea of clean


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Tue Aug 05, 2014 10:05 am 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Mon Oct 15, 2012 11:27 am
Posts: 1454
ButterFLYING! wrote:
Hi Amy,
:D K, I understand you "don't want" this to be a "subs vs no subs" conversation, and I have been "resisting" chiming in here again, but have a hard time keeping my mouth shut (I am an extrovert after all- ha ha ha!) And although I definitely have a "spiritual" foundation, I am also all about facts and science and "seeking truth" when it can be discovered.
If you want to disregard this post, no problem, and I surely do not mean any disrespect by it and I hope you understand that. I am not in any way "bashing" or judging anyone who makes the choice to stay on subs- remember I was for EIGHT YEARS, so who I am to judge, right? And I believe the justification for supporting sub maintenance is that it is better than the alternative, which is eventual death though illicit drug abuse, right?


I think you're trying to help but please take a step outside yourself for a brief moment. We have a good core of members on here who are in fact thriving on suboxone and have no intentions of weaning off. Everyday they come here for support, to talk to others who have chosen suboxone, but they have to wade through deep rivers of quitting suboxone threads and posts first. It's a bit annoying, I am sure, but still they show support and encourage people along their journeys. I think it's only right to show the same courtesy. The whole subs. vs. no subs debate is just old and tired around these parts. Let's take that out of the equation as many people do not even entertain the idea of getting off, or getting off at this time. It wasn't an option for me for a long time and everyone is on their own journeys. And you may be more your authentic self right now and feel better, I know i did too, but have no doubt that that after the high of getting off subs wears off, you'll have moments of questioning what the fuck you just did. Life after drugs is hard, maybe not right now, but you'll turn a corner and be socked in the face by reality. Not everyone is equipped to handle it and not everyone wants to, quite honestly. But for those of us attempting to do it, I say we press forward and leave others to make their own choices. There is no point to debate "the healthiest option" here, in fact, it's borderline against the rules.

Amy I have some stuff to add but have to feed the baby and run to work. I'll be back.


Top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 46 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2, 3  Next

All times are UTC - 5 hours [ DST ]


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 0 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
Our Sponsors
Suboxone Forum latest topics RSS feed Subscribe to the entire forum
 

 

 
Fond Du Lac Psychiatry
Dr. Jeffrey Junig, M.D., Ph.D.

  • Board Certified Psychiatrist
  • Asst Clinical Professor, Medical College of Wisconsin

Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group