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 Post subject: My husband left
PostPosted: Thu Mar 29, 2012 9:46 am 
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Update.....I have talked on here before about my husband and I had an isssue that he never wanted to have sex wasnt affectionate blah blah blah......

Well n e ways he just left me and my kids and went to colorado. I live in california. WTF right. Its sucks because I thought we had not intimacy because of the way I looked (stupid me).... So I went through alot of trouble to lose weight (gained because of two pregnancy) then I had my breasts done and a tummy tuck. I work out everyday keep my skin tan. I cater to what ever he wants and alow him to be a dick fuck face .......

This is the ulitmate betrayl by far for him to do this. I actually KNOW FOR A FACT that there is nothing I've done to cause this. there is a lot to the story for sure but I know hes just an idiot that I should have left along time ago you know what I mean. He kind of did me a favor by leaving because I never would have left him;.

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PostPosted: Thu Mar 29, 2012 10:26 am 
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I'm really sorry to hear that Sheana. I really don't know what to say but hang in there. What is now isn't always - just because he's moved to Colorado and you guys are separate now, doesn't mean things won't resolve in the future.

I totally understand if you don't want to go into it further. It does sound like the lack of intimacy played a big role, and all indications point that the Sub was the reason behind his lack of desire.

For most people, Sub is credited with helping them repair their broken relationships. Maybe this is one of those exceptional cases of Sub doing the opposite.


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 29, 2012 11:14 am 
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Oh Sheana,

I'm so sorry to hear that he left! I just read your last post a couple of days ago...I have to say that this is my biggest fear. That what I have done will come back to bight me in the ass and I will lose my family. My situation is completely different from yours though. My husband has never been an addict...I'm the idiot in the relationship. :oops:
It sounds like, even though you didn't want him to leave, that you are ready to do what you have to do and step up for your kids. Don't let him bring you down! Protect your recovery at all costs, don't let this be a stumbling block to you! We are strong women!!!!!! Please let us know how you are doing. I know you will be fine, just remember that it's not your fault. Hold on to that and focus on making things good for your kids, I'm sure they don't understand what is going on and are confused by it.

As Tear said earlier...this will pass. Things WILL get better!


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 29, 2012 5:01 pm 
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Im so sorry this happened to you, I dont know really anything about your situation but from just what I read if he can just up and leave you and your children like that then he really did do you a favor. He obviously doesnt deserve you and he should love you for you, you should not be sitting home wondering what you can change about yourself to make him show you love. IMO you're better off without him and def. can and will do so much better. Dont ever make someone a priority when all you are to them is an option.

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PostPosted: Fri Mar 30, 2012 11:36 am 
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Hey, I am so sorry to hear that! I'm a newbie here but as a woman i understand how self critical we can be.. my boyfriend wouldnt even touch me when i was prego ( said preg woman arent't sexy. They may be beautiful but not a turn on for me, Gee thanks) But with kids it's tough, i have one kid and even though i feel like i do most of the caregiving it would be hard as a single parent, i give props to all singel mama s doing it out there.. How are you holding up, at least your angry and processing it, i've seen women in straight denial, and hey you look so pretty in your pic! i know it takes @, but it sounds like you deserve better, hope i didnt intrude ! all the best for this tough time


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PostPosted: Sat Mar 31, 2012 5:48 am 
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honeybee415 wrote:
my boyfriend wouldnt even touch me when i was prego ( said preg woman arent't sexy. They may be beautiful but not a turn on for me, Gee thanks)



I have to jump in on this..because I'm the exact opposite when it came to our pregnancies. Even when I was out on the prowl for pills I found my wife to be EXTREMELY sexy when she was pregnant. I'm so glad that I was clean during the latest pregnancy, which turned out to be our last, having the tubal ligation when Reagan was born on 2/17...But I thoroughly enjoyed her being pregnant. I remember last August when we found out (I think I still have the text on my cell where she sent me a message saying "go buy a test on your way home..." -- just out of the blue.)...

Went to the dr on 8/3 for verification..and from that point, she was like my own little "pet"...

A man should cherish a woman..pregnant or not. I love everything about my wife, all the way down to her toes..she doesn't have to be pregnant for me to give her a foot massage or paint her nails..that's just time I get to spend being near her. And after us being together for 14 years..to still enjoy those kinds of things...maybe that's what true love is about.

I'm not going to say that I wish you luck with him, because it doesn't sound like he'll ever appreciate you to the extent that you should be appreciated. What I will say is that there is someone that he has cleared the way for, and now they can step-in and show you how love is supposed to be. Just count your blessings and look at his leaving as a door opening in life for you to give yourself what you deserve --- HAPPINESS. You never would've been happy had you kept on searching for things to change about yourself just to please him. I've NEVER asked my wife to change anything about herself. When I said "I DO", I took her "for better or for worse"...you don't want to allow someone to come into your life that's going to decide what you need to work on..


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PostPosted: Sat Mar 31, 2012 6:30 am 
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ohsosheana wrote:
Update.....I have talked on here before about my husband and I had an isssue that he never wanted to have sex wasnt affectionate blah blah blah......

Well n e ways he just left me and my kids and went to colorado. I live in california. WTF right. Its sucks because I thought we had not intimacy because of the way I looked (stupid me).... So I went through alot of trouble to lose weight (gained because of two pregnancy) then I had my breasts done and a tummy tuck. I work out everyday keep my skin tan. I cater to what ever he wants and alow him to be a dick fuck face .......

This is the ulitmate betrayl by far for him to do this. I actually KNOW FOR A FACT that there is nothing I've done to cause this. there is a lot to the story for sure but I know hes just an idiot that I should have left along time ago you know what I mean. He kind of did me a favor by leaving because I never would have left him;.





I AM SO sorry you are having to go through this...but the main thing i caught was you having to lose wt. to please him.'
I have struggled with my wt. all through my marriage and I know a man wants to be proud of his wife and would really rather us be the right size instead of fat, fat...but my husband never said anyhing about my wt. and when I would lose he would be so proud of me...the main thing he worried about was my health if I got overwt. but when I did go through those "fat" times I felt so bad about me...esp. when we were out with other couples and the other women would be looking so good...but I found you have to love yourself even to lose wt. ...and I agree with johathanm...you marry for better or for worse and there will be plenty of for worse in most people's lives...so feel good about yourself...like yourself...and maybe time will be the best healing thing for you. Please keep us informed on how you are doing.
good luck to you...
Slipper
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PostPosted: Sun Apr 01, 2012 11:24 pm 
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jonathanm1978 wrote:

I'm not going to say that I wish you luck with him, because it doesn't sound like he'll ever appreciate you to the extent that you should be appreciated. What I will say is that there is someone that he has cleared the way for, and now they can step-in and show you how love is supposed to be. Just count your blessings and look at his leaving as a door opening in life for you to give yourself what you deserve --- HAPPINESS. You never would've been happy had you kept on searching for things to change about yourself just to please him. I've NEVER asked my wife to change anything about herself. When I said "I DO", I took her "for better or for worse"...you don't want to allow someone to come into your life that's going to decide what you need to work on..


That is very sweet Jonathan....I know if I was in this position it would make me feel better. There ARE good men out there...you deserve to be cherished! Don't settle for less than you would want your daughter to have. Think about that when you meet the next one...if you wouldn't want your daughter to be treated how he treats you than move on to the next one! I wish you the best of luck sweetie, stay strong!


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PostPosted: Sun Apr 08, 2012 5:15 pm 
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ohsosheana you are better off w/o him it sounds. If that is your pic (which I assume it is duh!) you are VERY beautiful. I don't know your whole story but if he wasn't happy with your looks he is blind. I'm a single guy and would die to have such a beautiful woman. I'm sure you get a lot of offers from men and as you know sometimes they just lust for beauty. That sounds like him. Don't beat yourself up you WILL get past this and truly find love someday.


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PostPosted: Sun Apr 08, 2012 5:32 pm 
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Lol I kind of contradicted myself there but my point is it sounds like he was just playing you and you deserve better. Plenty of fish in the sea as the saying goes. I know it hurts but you were right in saying he did you a favor...minus taking your kids. Wish you the best.


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PostPosted: Sun Apr 08, 2012 8:06 pm 
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In a previous thread, Sheana talked about how the Suboxone was making her husband lose interest in sex. It may not be that he's lost interest in her. Maybe he's lost all interest in women.

Sub is notorious for affecting testosterone levels. It'd be a shame if you guys split up if the problems could be resolved with a simple testosterone shot, or a reduction in dose, or a switch to methadone.


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