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PostPosted: Tue Apr 12, 2011 7:21 pm 
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Hey ladder,
I still get huge cravings for subs too. I think it will take awhile of being completely off for that to go away. Once we live off of em for some time we will forget I think. time heals. But hang in there because that warm comfortable feeling happened to me last night but not from subs. I had a real good workout and have been eating only fruits and vegetables for the last week and when I laid down at night I felt so relaxed. Once of the first times I can remember getting a natural high. Just keep at it and eventually your brain will heal.


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 12, 2011 10:31 pm 
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Although I'm not off of subs yet, I do feel that awesomeness associated with feelings for songs, poetry, books, movies and such that I had in my pre-drug days. The feelings for such things came back to me when I was at 2mgs...Though it's clearer now even still, it started then, so I can only imagine how good it will continue to progress as I contine to taper down. (currently at .75/.50 e/o day)

I was always into music from a very early age. It's always gotten me through every aspect of my life (the good, bad and the very, very ugly). I have songs that I will hear that will bring me to a time in my life as if it happend yesterday, just by hearing the song, the first verse even. First love, my fathers death, graduation day, wedding day, the birth of my children, I pretty much have a specific "song" for each of those events and then some...Pretty much if I find a song that goes with my thoughts and feelings of the specific event, it's my automatic coping technique.

My dad was a "wedding singer" man oh man those were the freakin' days!! The fun we had! Me and my tamborine, and crazy lace dress ( don't forget the matching fingerless lace gloves) with my crazy frizzy hair....(yep datin' myself, 38 years young thank you very much lmao!) just up on stage singing my freaking heart out!! It was FANTASTIC! That was the good high I tell you!! Watching people cuttin some major rug while you're doing what you love, with people you love!!! It couldn't of been any better.

I have the most ridiculous eclectic taste in music, it's literally whatever song, by whatever artist at any given time. If it's good on my ears, I'm hooked. I'm open to any and all types of music, and I literally just enjoy every aspect of it. I like to close my eyes, and put the ipod on really loud, and just shut the entire world out. I tell you what, it's the best therapy I've ever had in my entire life. I love jazz, love me some Ray Charles, Busted was my anthem for a while...Classical is always good for me when I need to unwind and forget the day, Rock is always good, just makes you feel clear, and alive, country would be my least favorite, but that's not to say I eliminate it completely...It's all good at different times for me I guess.

Right now I'm into Adele, but not her new cd the older version 19....Chasing pavements is my anthem at the moment...It just fits, and I like to blast it in my car and sing on the top of my lungs with not another thought in my head......It's...well it's amazing!!!!!!!!!

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We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned,
so as to have the life that is waiting for us.
The old skin has to be shed before the new one can come.
- Joseph Campbell


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 13, 2011 7:32 am 
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Thanx hatmaker for your support (as always :-) ), and newlife thanx also!

Last time I made a run for it, I jumped from 0.5mg (maybe a little less). I think you could find my original post about that in my user profile... Anyway, I actually made it for 14,15days. One thing I remember that was persistent on the last days was goosbumps and yawning. Otherwise you kinda get used to be achy all the time I guess.
Thing is, maybe I would've made it longer, but I got a court summoning for gettiing caught while speeding :-D And I just felt so desperate psychological in sense of having the feeling that I'm loosing it a bit. I couldn't really speak to ppl and feel comfortable. So I took 0.1 or was it 0.2mg, and booooy did that help me. It even flooded the guilt feeling I felt over using again. It was like going from a depression and insanity to complete normality and euphoria in half an hour. And that was the problem. All the misery was sooo easily forgotten, and I didn't wanna feel so miserable again, so I continued dosing... :-(
I'm on 0.5mg now. I really want to try quitting again soon. I got me some clonidine too (wich I haven't had last time). And now I'm waiting for me to be "ready" again for it, you know. I've come to the conclusion that I will always fail quitting if I do it forced or because someone puts pressure on me that I really have to quit after all that time.
One thing I'm curious about is, when I get to low doses such as 0.25mg, it doesn't cover me all day. Rather aproX 6hours. So my question is, should I dose twice or? It's easy to stay on 0.5mg since it covers me ok trough the day, anything lower doesn't. Regardless of how long I stay on that lower dose. I'm always in WD after 6hours....

emmmm.... Sorry If I changed the subject/flow of the thread. I just wanted to answer. Mybe I'm selfish :-)


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 13, 2011 7:39 am 
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Bupe - It's normal if not common to need to dose twice daily when you're at those low doses. Sub just doesn't have the long half life when you're that low. I think you're very smart to not jump until YOU are ready instead of succumbing to outside pressure. And when you are ready try to go as low as possible - even lower than you went last time. That's when the liquid taper comes in handy. Some people even use compounding pharmacies at those low doses. And make sure when you do make dosage drops that they are small.

Part of being ready to stop suboxone includes having your life in order and being ready to deal with life on life's term and ready to handle the normal up's and down's of every day life. We usually need new coping skills and to have learned how to deal with the inevitable triggers and cravings that will come up after stopping suboxone. This, I believe, is why it's so smart of you to not stop until YOU are ready.

Good luck to you and hang in there.

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-I'm only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand.


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 Post subject: hatmaker
PostPosted: Wed Apr 13, 2011 10:00 am 
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hey hatmaker,
How low did you get with the liquid taper. I am using the strips and am down to about .01mg and I cant really cut it much smaller. Do I go even lower with the liquid taper or am I low enough? I think its all mental at this point because I feel normal all day and sometimes dont realize I havent dosed. When I do realize I begin to get watery eyes and sometimes a little RLS. Still not big deal and have not taken extra in about 20 days. any advice? Thanks


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 13, 2011 1:52 pm 
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I think this time I must have failed to add that what I've said is not based on personal tapering experience but rather what I've learned in the past 2 1/2 years about sub and addiction.

So if I understand you correctly, you jumped before at 0.5 mg and had trouble? But now you're down to 0.01? And at that dose you seem to be doing okay so far? How long can you go between dosing before you get any w/d symptoms? Depending on how long that is (and if you're only dosing once per day), you might want to try to dose only once every other day. This could conceivably be the final step before you stop altogether - especially if you're already not noticing if you miss a dose. I believe I remember people stopping that way, but I'm not 100% sure. I'm hoping some others will jump in and supplement my memory on that one.

I hope this is what you were looking for - if not, just ask. And good luck with finishing up your taper. It sounds like you're doing really, really well. :)

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-As I have grown older, I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.

-I'm only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand.


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 13, 2011 3:43 pm 
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Joined: Sun May 16, 2010 12:32 pm
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@ l i v i n

wow man! 0.01mg is almost equal to nothing! Can't believe you made it! I really have to study that liquid taper again. I'm an inpatient person. And I always wanna get rid of it the fastes way possible. Maybe thats' been my problem.
Anyway, really glad for you! :-)

and hatmaker, I think it was annmarie or bronzebeta who just kept forgetting their dose since it was real low....


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 14, 2011 3:33 am 
bupeAddict wrote:
@onniegrapples

Now, I guess that makes me look pretty dumb now :P I completely missed the point you being sarcastic.... yeah, shit happens.... :?
well anyway, I guess you're right, you could call it fear. I've tried to get off sub before, and have been tapering a few times, so I know exactly what suboX WD's like. The thing is, it's not actually all fear I think, rather the fact that I really can't function properly while in WD. And if the WD would last 10days, hell I'd be off this freakin' chemical in no time. But no, it just lasts so loooooong J.F.C! You know, I don't have desire to stay on this drug forever, I don't even like it. Maybe I have to get into a life situation that forces me off, or experience a change of mind? Or just force it trough....
Anyhow, I justa wanna say I've got a lot of respect for you! I've read your thread "Finally done". I appreciate you being completely forward and direct. Although not everyone can take that attitude.... I think you even make a greater impact on people by being so direct.


Nice logic, its fear, but its not fear!

UM thats deffff fear, when you say ummm i dont think its fear *scratching head*. Its defintly fear. Either way you spin it your scared of withdrawal wether its the fact you can't functin or whatever. You practically just tried to walk around logic, whatever you cant make people see it for themselves. I can spoon feed it to you but you still wont get it. Re read your post, your defintly on it because of fear. Tell me im wrong, tell me your not scared and its just cause you can't function. Isnt that fear of not being able to function? How can you write such a fucking horrible justification? Do you really believe it?


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