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PostPosted: Wed Jul 09, 2008 10:29 pm 
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Joined: Fri Mar 14, 2008 10:09 pm
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I’ve been on Suboxone almost a year. For a couple of months I was taken off it and put on Opiates by the doc for surgery. I’ve been back on the Suboxone for a month now. During all this time with both drugs I’ve taken them the way they were prescribed. But even after all this time going down the straight and narrow I can not gain the trust of my partner back. Rather then understanding the lies that came with the addiction, my partner has placed the tern “liar” in every aspect of my life as if my whole person had changed…as if nothing I say has any truth to it. The only lies I ever told were about the drugs…the same lies we all tell…hiding them, lying about getting them, about whether we had any, etc. But my person didn’t become someone who lied about anything else, yet my partner has placed that liar in every aspect of my life. How does one over come this?
Thank
Raeolia


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 Post subject: Regaining trust
PostPosted: Sat Jul 12, 2008 1:04 am 
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Unfortunately, the trust never comes back as quickly as we would like, and sometimes, perhaps most times, there will never be the same level of trust that there was before the addiction. I think that the most helpful approach is to try to see things as the other person does; why should we be trusted? We have sworn many times over... why should someone believe us now? If we can take and understand that point of view, we might respond to the distrust in a more understanding way.

Some relationships just will not recover from the repeated broken promises that occur as a result of our addiction. That is sad-- I don't mean to downplay the loss. But staying in a situation where a person is not trusted is a dangerous thing to do-- at some point the distrust could lead one to say 'what the heck' and use out of spite.

I wish you the best-- again, try to see things through your partners eyes. Also, remember that the distrust usually occurred over years; it may take as long to get it back, or longer. Finally, recognize that the distrust is not totally unfounded; the long-term relapse rate for opiate dependence is quite high, well over 50% in those who complete even residential treatment. I think that people can do better on suboxone, but even people on suboxone are not immune-- I have had a relapse rate in my practice of about 5% per year. That sounds low, but once a person has relapsed on suboxone their chance for finding a way to stay clean drops significantly. My point is that 'trusting' an opiate addict to remain clean is always a risky thing. Hard words to hear, but better to know what one is up against.


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Fond Du Lac Psychiatry
Dr. Jeffrey Junig, M.D., Ph.D.

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