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 Post subject: How are you?
PostPosted: Sun Dec 28, 2014 10:58 am 
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I took a lot of your advice. Im on Clonadine taper. Im not a know it all. I've just been working in the medical profession for more years that I would like to mention!!! LOL
The Clonodine helped. Thanks for the suggestions!!


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 Post subject: Re: How are you?
PostPosted: Wed Dec 31, 2014 4:57 pm 
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The better question is: How are you feeling now? I just noticed your post didn't get any responses and didn't want you to think no one cares.

The Clonadine is a good one. Same with Imodium, hot baths, exercise, and maybe ask your doctor for some Requip or equivalent to help with those restless legs. Some suggest a mild benzo but as you probably know, it's risky for an addict to mess with benzo's. I used to do fine with asking for Valium or Xanax when I would quit the Norco's. Only you know if it would turn into another addiction or not.

Hope you're feeling a bit better today.

rule

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 Post subject: Re: How are you?
PostPosted: Thu Jan 01, 2015 5:05 am 
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Im still up. No sleep. The Xanax does not help. I guess it will take time. I feel great one minute. then suddenly I feel weighed down. Forcing myself. I havent had Sub for a week. I feel like crap. I dont know what I am doing wrong. Its putting stress on the relationship. Maybe I will ask for Ativan instead on Xanax. My skin is so dry from the baths. I just feel helpless. But, Im focused. I may need to take some time off of work.
The Requip made me shake and feel like I wanted to vomit. The first night it was good. I dont know. I know I am really tired and worn down.

Happy New Year


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 Post subject: Re: How are you?
PostPosted: Thu Jan 01, 2015 11:26 am 
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Hey doey,
Been following some of ur progress and something u said in this post got my attention. When u say u don't know what ur doing wrong, I don't think ur doing anything wrong. Even though I have not ventured down the road of coming off sub yet, I have followed everyone's progress on the forum and also my close friend when she stopped. Unfortunately the way u feel after a week is pretty normal. I can only imagine the stress of feeling like this puts on u and ur loved one's, especially through the holidays and trying to work. I always worry about what I'll do to handle it when my time comes. Anyway I just wanted to say, not everyone (me lol) has the mindset to even taper yet. So I think u are very brave and hopefully u will bounce bk in no time. Good luck and happy new year without subs.

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 Post subject: Re: How are you?
PostPosted: Thu Jan 01, 2015 5:31 pm 
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Hey Doey,

I'm sorry the Requip didn't work out for you. Maybe the reason it works for me is that I have RLS anyway, even while not WDing at times. As I said before, some people say it isn't as effective while in WD.

As Jenn said, you aren't doing anything wrong. This is just the process. If you are going to jump from subs you have to be prepared for weeks of mild to moderate WD. Have you read any of the other threads in this section? If not, maybe you could check out some of the bigger ones. There are many stories here that will give you an idea of the ups and downs and the length of WD when you jump from subs. Alot of people use this site as a kind of diary for their process. You will find some good info there, and it might make you feel a little less alone. Just know everything you are going through is normal and that it will get better with time. Try to focus on the little things that are improving. I know it can be hard to see them, but they are there.

How are your cravings? Are you struggling with any thoughts of using?

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 Post subject: Re: How are you?
PostPosted: Thu Jan 01, 2015 11:34 pm 
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Oh yes. Definitely read the posts. Yes. I crave. I crave subs to stop the pain my body is going through. The lack of sleep is crazy. I threw away the subs I had left. That helped/hurt mentally. I did confide to my sweetie. Still hard for him to understand. How this happened to me. NO ONE but the treatment nurse knows.
I really wanted to take sub last night. I think that was by far the worst night I have had yet. I sent my partner away and ended up baking, but I was so drained. No energy. I felt the lowest. The lowest I ever felt. Defeated. So I opened my laptop and started typing. My little furry partner stuck by me. That is my Doey. A ragdoll.
I cried. People that know me know I don't cry. But, I did. I cried and screamed and yelled and got mad and got sad all at once. Yes, the fireworks luckily drowned it all out. Im gonna work for the next 3 days and back to school on Monday. Overwhelmed. Did I mention my 5 nieces and nephews i have raised for the last 5/6 years and my own 3 kids.
I think Im getting depressed. Angry at myself. Alone. I want to tell everyone so they will back off. I appreciate you guys reaching out to me. Your all I really have to take to. That understands without passing judgement.
Thanks again. I appreciate it so very much


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 Post subject: Re: How are you?
PostPosted: Fri Jan 02, 2015 12:09 am 
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Wow! You have a huge load! Do you have several children in your household or are they mostly grown/gone?

I want you to remember that you will get through this!! This will be a memory sooner than you can imagine! Do whatever you can that will prevent you from using/relapsing!!! Rage against the world! Against addiction! Even against sub if you need to! Keep putting one foot in front of the other! You will outlast this discomfort and you will get through these feelings!!

Sometimes it helps to remember that the depression you feel is all a medical/psychological construct. Your life is not worse than it was 7 days ago!! In fact, it's better! It only feels like your life is worse because you are not providing your brain with fake endorphins. Do what you need to do to get through it, but remember that it will pass!

Make sure that you check in tomorrow too! We'll be here!

Amy

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 Post subject: Re: How are you?
PostPosted: Mon Jan 05, 2015 3:41 am 
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I made it another day. As you can see. sleep deprived. It's 0130. My legs hurt. Worked 3 12 hr shifts straight. thought I was not going to make it, but I did. I actually fell asleep last night driving home. It was by the grace of God that kept me from hurting someone. I was so tired. Yes, I have eight kids, ranging from 17 to 8. I work full time, and take on line classes. All while detoxing.
Worn out!


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 Post subject: Re: How are you?
PostPosted: Sat Jan 10, 2015 11:33 pm 
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Wow, Doey, I have HUGE respect and admiration for you! I don't know how you are doing it with 8 kids and a full time job!! My kids are grown and I have a home business, so that made it so much easier for me. I can't even begin to imagine jumping off Subs with 8 children at home (much less working!). I've been off Subs for 85 days now. I think you are amazing and like someone said earlier, you aren't doing anything wrong. You are trying to heal your body and this takes time. You WILL get there! You WILL feel normal again, I promise. Hang in there! To do this with all you have on your plate, you are clearly a very strong person.


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 Post subject: Re: How are you?
PostPosted: Sun Jan 11, 2015 5:14 pm 
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you just dont know how bad I needed to hear that at this moment. My angels thank you.


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 Post subject: Re: How are you?
PostPosted: Mon Jan 12, 2015 6:41 pm 
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your doing fine. your mind is going to tell you all kinds of stuff as it changes. You should feel better any day now. I had a big turn around 10-12 days off. your emotions are going to be all over the place as you are seeing. I know it seems hard but keep pushing thru it. try to do anything to take your mind off it.. I found music worked great for me. you said you almost fell asleep at the wheel, maybe not a good thing but its telling you things are starting to return. you can do it.....


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 15, 2015 2:01 pm 
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I think I am like day 18 or 19. Something close to that. I know it is getting better, but it is so slow. I feel good one minute and the next minute my heart pounds, Sleep....well still not sleeping normally. Up wide awake at 3 am. I still feel dragged, like being weighed down and weak. I got a trainer to get me motivated again. I did so bad. I could barely hold my weight. I must say it is so much better than the first weeks. I can see the light. I'm just not sure how far it is.
Yesterday, I gave Suboxone to a patient for pain. Inside, I didn't want to. This is something new and I am not sure the docs realize how bad this can be if not prescribed correctly. Anyway, Thanks again for the kind words. It keeps me going. Believe me when I feel like giving up your words remind me this is expected and keep pushing forward!
Back to work just wanted to post a quick update. I am getting slowly better.


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