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 Post subject: 12 hours...
PostPosted: Wed Oct 09, 2013 2:44 am 
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Hello all! New here.

So far I've come 12 hours off of the Suboxone train. I was only on it for 12 days. Though I had completely come off of it 3 and a half months ago. The story is, well basically, I relapsed onto opiates again. I had only done them a few times, but the WD's from them caused me to want more each time. The WD's off of suboxone make me fight to stay clean, and don't give me any cravings. I had done opiates for about 3 weeks, and then decided to get onto suboxone for a couple of weeks to fight the urge.
I have a 21mo old son, so it doesn't make it easy to just lay around and be lazy. Before you judge me, I had a prescription for opiates for a back injury. I have told my doctor not to prescribe me them anymore & that I'd like to tough it out and do PT instead. I also was prescribed a non benzo muscle relaxant.

My real question is, since I was only on Suboxone for 12 days, do you see a hard WD in my future? I'm obviously fine right now, but I could tell 12 hours in over the last 12 days that I was getting tired and feeling my legs. Though it could've all been in my head as well.

I was only taking .25mg at most in a 24 hour period. And over the last 3 days it was literally crumbs, every 12 hours. I tried very hard to wean down because that helped me before. I know everyone is different. Maybe I'll just use this site over the next couple of weeks to help document my journey, and hopefully I can overcome this yet again.

I can't believe I'm back here. Suboxone WD was the worst and hardest thing to kick!!! Opiates had been out of my life for almost 2 complete years when I relapsed onto them. I just had them, I was in extreme pain from chasing a toddler all day, and took ONE. Then over 3 weeks I was taking 3 at a time each day. :( here we go with the emotional-ness.... Maybe someone similar can share an experience? Talking it through really helps.


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 Post subject: Re: 12 hours...
PostPosted: Wed Oct 09, 2013 11:19 am 
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Well, it's officially been 20 hours. I don't feel too bad. I didn't sleep GREAT last night, but not awfully. I didn't get to sleep until late(son woke up at 1am), so I'm a bit tired. But I'm actually not even as tired as I am on suboxone. Sub made me extremely lethargic, exhausted, numb, etc. I couldn't get anything done. I'm so excited and ready to e all done, not excited to WD. But excited for the overall. Before I got off of them 3 & a half months ago, I was on them for 20 months. I just hate that I'm back here again, but I will power through and I have no desire of ever doing another opiate again.


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 Post subject: Re: 12 hours...
PostPosted: Wed Oct 09, 2013 12:09 pm 
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Hi MonkeyMom ( :D ),

Welcome to the forum!!

I don't think anyone here is going to judge you for using pain pills or Suboxone. We've all had our own issues to face and I think we all realize that we're not perfect.

It looks like you were on a tiny amount of Suboxone (.25mg), so you won't experience any kind of bad wd from it. If anything, you may experience some wd from your previous opiate. 12 days of a low dose of Suboxone looks like it surely got you through the acute phase of wd from your previous opiate, now it's just a matter of seeing how your mind and body right themselves.

You may experience some discomfort along the way, but I would be quite surprised if it was serious.

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 Post subject: Re: 12 hours...
PostPosted: Wed Oct 09, 2013 12:19 pm 
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Lol monkey mom...

Thank you, Romeo! So far I'm just tired. Which could be from a short night as well. My legs feel like they COULD be anxious, but so far not too bad. Like I said it could e in my head for "waiting for the worst to come". That makes me feel better. My husband said the same about WDing from the Percocet and not the Sub. We shall see! Luckily it's Wednesday, but we all know how long it takes for the weekend to come!


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 Post subject: Re: 12 hours...
PostPosted: Wed Oct 09, 2013 1:26 pm 
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I can totally relate to the grief of getting off subs and finding yourself right back on them, at square one. You don't even see it coming; all of a sudden you're right back in hell. I went through what you're going through several times. But I am grateful for those relapses because they taught me how real the disease is and how powerless I am over it. I think I finally got it this time; I have some clean time, I feel great, I got the vivitrol shot as backup(and it took away my cravings), and I have a great support system this time. Use this experience to remind you of how grateful you were and will be for sobriety. You never have to wake up dope sick again!


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 Post subject: Re: 12 hours...
PostPosted: Wed Oct 09, 2013 1:36 pm 
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What is vivitrol? And thank you! It makes you feel so much better knowing that someone has/is going through the same. I definitely know how terrible this disease is. One day I was turning 21, doing OxyContin for fun. Next I know I'm 25 and coming off of Suboxone AGAIN. I wasted those years completely. Now I have a son, whom I love with all my heart. And I refuse to let him see his mom this way. Opiates literally take over your mind. I don't even get high off of them anymore. But I felt I NEEDED it. Especially after a week of taking it and the WD's starting again. You don't care about a few weeks, months, years in advance. Just that second and "needing" it.

I also feel glad for my slight relapse. I don't WANT to ever do it again. Before, I had thought time to time it may be nice to have. Now I know I will never put myself through this hell again.

Coming up on 24 hours and still feeling fine. Actually less exhausted than an hour ago. Hoping it stays this way! I hate naps, but it's definitely a nap day.


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 Post subject: Re: 12 hours...
PostPosted: Wed Oct 09, 2013 2:01 pm 
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I also began using oxy at 20 and I am now 25, wondering where the last 5 years went. I am so grateful to have the opportunity to spend the next 5 years of my 20s living fully, to make up for the lost time. As cliche as it sounds, I truly feel the skies the limit now that I am free of those opiate chains.

I relate to the feeling of "needing it" but not wanting it. When I first got off suboxone, I felt that empty void that only opiates could fill. I thought that feeling would never go away so I tried to control my use. I would buy a few pills, just enough to use for one day. But that one day of using would always bring back my withdrawals. And if I had pills leftover, I would use them the next day, knowing full well that it would make me sick. And the craziest part is, like you said, I didnt even like the way I felt on opiates anymore. I would take some pills, feel good for 20 minutes(that initial rush), and then the lingering opiate high aftereffect would actually bother me for the rest of the day/night. It was very annoying and kept me up all night! But that feeling of "needing it" would eventually return days or weeks later. Thats the insanity; thats the disease. When you dont want it, dont like the way it makes you feel, dont like the withdrawal, but do it anyway. You just have to play the tape through when you think about using next time. Think about how your receptors need time to heal and even one use will bring back those withdrawals and that depression. Make a journal of what you're going through now and save it for when the urge to use comes back.

As for vivtrol, it is naltrexone in a shot form that blocks your opiate receptors for 30 days. It is expensive without insurance but it has totally removed all of my cravings. I finally feel normal for the first time in 6 years.

good luck! you are doing the right thing for yourself and it will benefit your child in so many ways.


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 Post subject: Re: 12 hours...
PostPosted: Thu Oct 10, 2013 12:35 pm 
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Thank you, livin! Like I said it helps so much knowing that I'm not the only one going through this.

I get such a guilty feeling when I'm WD'ing that now my son has to put up with a week inside. It makes me feel so terribly.

Coming up on 48 hours in an hour or so. I got maybe 6 hours of sleep last night and thank God my son decided to sleep in until 8:50!! I slept as well. I couldn't relax until almost 12:30 last night. Besides the RLS and my eyes feeling tired, I seem okay. Though last time the worst day was Day 4 and I only have a sleeping pill left. We shall see what the next few days bring. Mainly I feel unmotivated. But so far only a little yawning, no sneezing, not terrible bathroom problems, not TERRIBLE RLS, and not terrible hot/cold chills. All in all, I feel pretty good!


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 Post subject: Re: 12 hours...
PostPosted: Fri Oct 11, 2013 11:12 am 
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I'm creeping up on Day 3 now. Doing pretty well. I was horribly exhausted all day yesterday. But I got to sleep at 10:30 last night and my son woke up at 7:30. I tossed and turned quite a bit, but it was more anxiety than RLS. The last time I quit, my RLS was so bad that it crept into my shoulders and actually hurt. I actually cried. It was terrible. Compared to last time, this is a walk in the park. I may actually be able to take my son somewhere today! Ill update later, as I'm not sure I'm out of the woods just yet. I can feel good one moment, then want to die the next.


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 Post subject: Re: 12 hours...
PostPosted: Fri Oct 11, 2013 11:20 am 
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The "feeling good one moment, then wanting to die the next" is what we call the roller coaster effect. Suboxone wd seems to have a lot of up's and down's, especially early on. But, like a roller coaster, as the ride progresses the up's and down's start to smooth out.

I think taking your son somewhere today is a great idea!! Get out of the house, it'll make you feel better!

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 Post subject: Re: 12 hours...
PostPosted: Fri Oct 11, 2013 2:23 pm 
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Yep, feeling the roller coaster! Hot, cold, hot. Tired, not, tired. Emotional. Blablabla. Took my son on a little drive. Haven't mustered up the energy to go anywhere though. Going to take a hot bath and a nap when he goes down and at least make it to the grocery store.


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 Post subject: Re: 12 hours...
PostPosted: Fri Oct 11, 2013 5:20 pm 
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One foot in front of the other, mama!

Did you play some music on your drive? A hot bath sounds so good to me right now. Should help relax you. Bundle up for the market trip, it gets cold in the store! :D


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 Post subject: Re: 12 hours...
PostPosted: Fri Oct 11, 2013 11:00 pm 
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I did! And hubby got home at 12 so we relaxed and napped and then went to target and out to eat! I don't feel anything but a little tired right now. Woo-hoo!

Did I get your story?


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 Post subject: Re: 12 hours...
PostPosted: Sun Oct 13, 2013 2:31 am 
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Night 5 without subs. Toss, turn, toss, turn. Ugh. I felt okay all day long with the exception of some tiredness. Why am I still dealing with stupid RLS?! I know, I know, sleep is the last to return to normal. It's just so damn hard with no sleep!!!!


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 Post subject: Re: 12 hours...
PostPosted: Sun Oct 13, 2013 11:34 am 
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Is there anyway you can get a prescription for trazadone? It's a non addictive sleep medicine that worked miracles for me when I was coming off. You take 100-150mg and you will be asleep within 15 minutes. Ask about it.


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 Post subject: Re: 12 hours...
PostPosted: Sun Oct 13, 2013 12:05 pm 
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Mama-

Try not to count the days of symptoms. Expect the worst, and be happy when the symptoms vanish. You jumped from a low amount, so I'm hoping that your symptoms ease up for you very soon.


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 Post subject: Re: 12 hours...
PostPosted: Sun Oct 13, 2013 10:21 pm 
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Thank you L & TD. I will ask about the sleep medication. Though my doctor doesn't believe in anything in the ease of WD's. Just to go through the motions. Nice, huh? I actually felt great today besides being tired! I think last night was as bad as it was because of 2 glasses of red wine. I was advised against it, should've listened!!!

You're right, I need to stop focusing on the days & just deal. It'll be a lot easier when I realize how long it's been!!


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 Post subject: Re: 12 hours...
PostPosted: Mon Oct 14, 2013 3:35 pm 
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To the best of my recollection, my RLS lasted maybe 2 weeks. Also, from what I remember reading here on the forum, a lot of members would get RLS once they quit Suboxone, but it did clear up rather quickly.

During the height of my RLS I found if I tired my legs out by running on our elliptical machine it would kill my RLS for a few hours. You could try something similar?

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 Post subject: Re: 12 hours...
PostPosted: Mon Oct 14, 2013 3:50 pm 
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I also had RLS for about 2 weeks. It slowly gets better until it disappears completely. Icy hot on the legs and feet helps. Also, rub your legs and stretch them to get circulation moving.


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 Post subject: Re: 12 hours...
PostPosted: Tue Oct 15, 2013 1:29 am 
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Hoping to get some more sleep tonight. My brother in law gave me another muscle relaxer. Non benzo of course. Hey, whatever helps right? I never liked the way those felt anyway. We've been staying busy. Besides being tired the days don't bother me. Nights are all I have to complain about and even then, not bad. I can say tapering is definitely the way to go. Last time I went through this I couldn't even stand my RLS long enough to enjoy TV with my hubby and had to try to sleep at 830-9pm. Much better this time!!! And thanking suboxone every day for the hell it saved me from.


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