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PostPosted: Sun Jul 10, 2011 10:33 pm 
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Hey friends, I am new to this forum, but have read the docs blogs and a couple posts. I recently took my last dose of sub, and it has been almost 4 days now.

Part of the reason I quit was because, after 2.5 months on sub, it started giving me the most excrutiating headaches! I thought, 'well, I can deal with this or withdrawal', and decided to go for it. I read a couple other posters talk about how they 'just knew it was their time'. I felt this same urge, and, coupled with the agony of my sub headaches, was more than enough to get me movin!

I had been shooting up heroin for quite a while before this, but finally couldn't bring myself back to the needle anylonger...however, I conveniently found a handy little methadone hook up. I started buying methadone from the streets, not knowing a damn thing about the drug(I was pretty ignorant, hell i was maybe 18 at the time) except that it made you feel kind of like heroin does! Wow, it lasted longer, and if I swallowed enough, I could almost get the same rush as I got from brown!

Big fuckin' mistake....I never knew how much I was buying, and needless to say, it was watered down every now and then. I had this habit for about a year until I decided it was time to get on a program and seek help, for I had already tried to kick it cold turkey while on vacation, only to find out on day 5 that the withdrawals would last a month :( If I had to guess, I'd say I'd take about 100 mg's a day.

I started on the program at 70 mg. Got sober...quit EVERYTHING, and got my act together. This was a year and a half ago...I then preceeded to lower, and got to about 25 mg's. I then made the switch to suboxone and went through about 7-8 days of severe withdrawal. I wound up on 16 mg's of sub, then lowered to 4mg over a period of only two months, and surprisingly, did not feel a damn thing as I tapered.

6 days ago, the headaches pushed me to experiment with 2 mg's a day. 4 days ago, I still had headaches, so I decided to just quit altogether

on the first day, I began to feel a little sick. 2nd day, it got a little worse. Now on day 3.5, and I feel the same as yesterday. These WD's are nothing compared to methadone WD's!

I've been taking a half a pill of .5 mg's of xanax to sleep at nights. I wake up a lot at night and dont sleep well, but at least I sleep! Ive been forcing myself to drink and eat, and it has not been easy. I do experience the goose flesh and hot/cold flashes, accompanied with mild sweats. Though nothing altogether unbearable has come my way. I'm also very easily prone to fits of tears, even when it comes to movies/books that arent meant to be all that emotional! LOL, every time the lump in my throat comes along, I remind myself that its just my feelings, and not the real ME. I truly believe the key is not to suppress such feelings, just dont identify with them! Live above them! Just know its not the real you!

I know the worse may be yet to come, but thus far my spirits are high, and I believe that as long as I don't succumb to the fits of depression and the emotional roller coaster ride that accompanies WD's, I can make it through...I just remind myself that time will eventually blow all the pain away, and I think of how good it will feel to be free.

I also noticed a few posters talk about how their taste of music came back after quitting sub. I can absolutely verify this fact! Ive been listening to music almost non-stop!

Anyways, just wanted to share my story. Also, anyone know of any books that are good/inspirational to read during WD's? I just read Origen's 'Exhortation to Martyrdom'. Although it is about Christian Martyrs, If one applies the story to one undergoing WD's instead of martyrdom, it's quite touching and heartwarming!

Wish me luck!

S


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 Post subject: 125 hours in...
PostPosted: Tue Jul 12, 2011 3:06 pm 
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125 hours in, the last two nights were rough. hard to sleep due to these shocks of restlessness that seemed to travel from my brain, and down my spine to the lower body. Unlike any restless leg syndrom Ive ever had. Thankfully, I remembered late last night about my bottle of magnesium supplements I took when I had restless leg from tapering off methadone!MAGNESIUM WORKS WONDERS for restless syndroms...

Today has overall been worse than any other day. diarrhea and lethargy kickin in full force, all the while my emotions keep playing on the see-saw. One minute I feel happy and ready to take on WD's, the next minute I'm in tears. I sure do hope this is the peak...


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PostPosted: Tue Jul 12, 2011 3:42 pm 
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UR a fucking warrior! Just keep telling yourself that, it can be done. You will do it! Showers, walks, listen to music, do whatever to keep your mind off the pain. Your doing it! I jumped from 6-8 mg daily dose of suboxone after 6 years of use without any meds first 9 days at home the second 10 days in patient(which didn't really help much, just keep me busy and put my family at peace) now 75 days later still doing it, feeling much better, still tired and slightly depressed, but nothing that will make me take that orange pill ever again. Your doing the best thing for your quality of life. Peace and Love


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 Post subject: Heck Yeah!
PostPosted: Tue Jul 12, 2011 8:07 pm 
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I'm weening down too and the wacky leg syndrome at night is bit of a pain but NOTHING like full on withdrawals I've had in the past.
Thanks for reminding me about magnesium ! It's been recommended to me as well.
I'm starting to really enjoy listening to and playing music again too!
I just try to keep getting exercise during the day and drinking plenty of water.
Keep up the good work, congratulations!


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PostPosted: Wed Jul 13, 2011 12:10 am 
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Congrats to yourself as well! I believe weaning is the biggest step; just stepping out of ones comfort zone is the biggest step an addict can take! the decision to start weaning is a much tougher one than the decision to quit cold turkey is, I believe.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Jul 13, 2011 12:23 am 
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LOL! Weaning is harder than cold turkey. I never weaned so I couldn't tell ya, doesn't sound right though, gl to you.


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 Post subject: day 8
PostPosted: Thu Jul 14, 2011 1:26 pm 
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fuck, I am sooo sick and fuckin tired of bein so tired all the time! UGH!!!

On a more positive note, I did get a burst of energy yesterday late in the afternoon, which was happily accompanied by an actual appetite! I went out and ate a 12 oz. steak and baked potatoe from ruby tuesdays :P

I then took the dogs for a walk; a REAL walk, not the half-ass walks weve been goin on this past week of withdrawals. Then when I got home, I was able to resume my yoga practice, which was super encouraging and I felt so happy to be able to once again do my daily routine...

However, This lethargy is really getting to me. But at nights, when I try to relax, I get restless. WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! When I want energy to do things, It leaves me and I have none, but when I want to relax and sleep, I'm FUCKING RESTLESS! It's a cruel fucking joke, I swear

I suppose I should consider myself lucky though, cus I've been getting between 6-8 hours of sleep a night, albeit sometimes I must lie in bed for 4 hours counting sheep...

any tips/tricks/advice? thanks guys


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 Post subject: Day 10.5
PostPosted: Sat Jul 16, 2011 4:40 pm 
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Day 10.5, alas, the worse is over. Day 6 wwas hell, but it has gotten better since then. In fact, I'm almost back to normal as far as the physical symptoms go. Thank God for giving me a fast metabolism.

TIP: Force yourself to eat as much as you can, because the instant you stop eating like you regularly do, your metabolism drops. The more you eat, the quicker your metabolism works, and it is a proven fact that the duration of withdrawals partially depends on the users metabolism.

Question: Anybody have any idea when I can expect to start sleepin regularly again? Lately, I've only been gettin 6 hours a night, last night I only got 4. This is compared to the 10 hours a night I normally get.


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 Post subject: Same here
PostPosted: Fri Jul 22, 2011 10:39 pm 
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I'm on day 11 and reading your post I was surprised how much my experience was like yours. What's the deal with the music? That's such a strange anomaly, but the same thing happened to me. Non-stop with the music i used to listen to all the time and had stopped listening to while on Suboxone. Odd. I only wish i woulda found your post a little sooner, cuz that restless thing is a killer and magnesium woulda been nice. I still haven't slept more than a solid 3 hours a night, and even that doesn't actually feel like sleeping. More like i just can't remember a few hours. Still exhausted, still a little antsy, but your post definitely made me feel like I wasn't alone. Thanks.


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 Post subject: Day 18
PostPosted: Sun Jul 24, 2011 6:18 pm 
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Hey footthumb, glad my post made you feel a little less isolated.

I can totally relate to the whole sleep issue. In fact, I wouldnt even call it sleep, more like being half awake/ half unconcious! It's very interrupted as well, and to top it off, I continually have these anxious dreams. Never any sweet dreams! It's sad, we can't even get any rest from the WD's when were asleep...

I'm starting to feel ok... still sneezing a lot, but the diarhea is starting to become less runny (sorry if this is too much info lol) I've even got my mood swings back in check.

Yesterday, my father took me out with him to the lake. We rode jet skiis, and I even did some cliff diving. Got the endorphins going, made me feel good, but man am I sore!!!! I limited my activities to half of what I normally do out on the lake, but still got my ass kicked!

However, I still suffer from laziness/fatigue/lethargy. It makes me feel like such a worthless piece of shit sometimes! I've never understood lazy people, but now I think I'm beginning to...


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PostPosted: Mon Jul 25, 2011 4:19 pm 
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Hey apennington,

I hear ya on the laziness/fatigue/lethargy. Those are some pretty common symptoms of wd/PAWS. It takes our brains a good while to get the ole "natural opiate" producing machine in our heads back up and running smoothly. It seems to come back "online" in fits and starts too.

Going out, being active, riding jet skii's and cliff diving all help to kick start our brains back into gear. Keep at it.

Oh yeah, the sleep issues.......SUCKS!!! The sleep some of us get during wd certainly isn't anywhere near the quality of sleep we got before we quit opiates. I wouldn't even call it real sleep. Early in my wd, I was a happy camper if I could 2 hours of sleep at a time, but 2 hours of sleep, as far as I'm aware, doesn't let the brain reach it's 5th stage of sleep. From what I remember reading, I was only regularly getting into the 2nd stage of sleep.....maybe the 3rd....I can't remember, but I know my sleep SUCKED for a while!!

It gets better though, it really does.

Congratulations on day 19 today!!

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Be kind to yourself. Our character defects do NOT define who we are!


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 Post subject: day 20
PostPosted: Tue Jul 26, 2011 7:13 pm 
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thanks romeo!

Yea, as far as sleep is concerned, if you want to get real scientific about it, each human cycles through stages of sleep. people spend most of their sleep in REM(Rapid Eye Movement) or 'dreaming sleep' But the longer you are asleep, the more time you spend in the last stage of sleep, Non-REM or 'dreamless sleep'. This is the most important stage. Us poor souls going through withdrawal probably dont even reach Non-REM sleep, let alone cycle through it.


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 Post subject: In Awe
PostPosted: Wed Jul 27, 2011 1:44 am 
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:shock: Yup, you are both warriors - and the weaning or cold turkey are simply warriors on different fields of battle in the same war. Way to stretch an analogy, huh? Tried both, and I'm no warrior. Magnesium good tip, as is the metabolism. I know they are using passionflower extract (liquid) of high quality for the sleep issue. It helped me get down. And I wish I knew what it is with the music, or lack thereof, with methadone and bupe. I mean, why? Rolling Stones and Beethoven unthought of in a long time. The sleep issue is a big one. The one that screws with me the most - I have gone quite borderline psychotic after 78 hours no sleep.
Keep posting - reminds me it can and will be done.

PS - monitor your BP over 10 days. Those headaches may not be directly attributable to bupe. Just something I've noticed with a few people with a history of opiate / opioid use. My own theory - not something I'm about to publish in the New England Journal of Medicine or anything.


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PostPosted: Wed Jul 27, 2011 10:46 am 
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apennington1989 Good job... your hanging tough, I was glad to see you doing things you love to do ( jet ski Hell yea), after I jumped on the days that I started feeling lethargic I would go for a ride on my motorcycle and it ALWAYS helped to pull me thru the wd's, that and hitting the gym but the motorcycle rides really helped the depression anxiety...


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PostPosted: Thu Jul 28, 2011 3:18 pm 
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thanks so much for the support guys. had it not been for yall, and the support/ success stories yall sharre, id surely have gone insane quite a while ago.

mg, sometimes ill go out for a drive in my truck up north just to view the scenary, and that helps. God almighty, I wish I had access to a motorcycle! the country roads I live by are nice, scenic, and twisty turvy, perfect for a motorcycle ride. I used to love ridin my little 100cc 4 stroke as a kid.

yesterday was such a great day. I was finally able to get up and do the things Ive been wanting to do. This little room Ive been living in for 22 days has gotten quite filthy, but yesterday I worked up the will to clean it. I got a lot accomplished yesterday. The lethargy and fatigue are becoming manageable, and I am once again able to resume the life I had put on hold 22 days ago. Though my energy level is only back to maybe 50% of what it once was, that is more than enough for me to live a happy, fulfilled life. Sleep is getting somewhat better as well.

Mentally, I am happy and content. The physical symptoms are still here in full force, but that is ok. Even if they stuck with me forever, I know I could still live my life.


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