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PostPosted: Sat Jul 30, 2011 2:27 pm 
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Hey bud, no sweat on the coffee thing, if you can drink some of it and it doesn't make you freaky, then go for it. BTW, I used to like my coffee STRONG, if you could put a spoon in it and the spoon would stand up, it was my kind of coffee. :lol:

As far as PAWS, the best explanation I know to give you is that PAWS is a mild version of acute wd. There are a lot of symptoms in common between acute wd and PAWS, but the PAWS symptoms are easier to deal with, but PAWS tends to last longer. PAWS subsides in some people within a month or two, for others it's a much longer journey.

Honestly, where you are now with your Suboxone wd, I would be surprised if you get any kind of bad PAWS......I mean for a guy who jumped off of 3mg and he's 8 days out........you're doing FANTASTIC!!!! I'm thinking your PAWS will be minimal.

Have fun on your vacation!!

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PostPosted: Sat Jul 30, 2011 10:23 pm 
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I can't give you any personal experience about PAWS, but I did want to make a couple of comments about it. First, it doesn't happen only due to being on suboxone. It can happen with ALL types of opiates. So look at your total time on ALL types of opiates you've been on, was it 6 months or 12 years or somewhere in between? Then look at your taper, was it a long and slow taper? That kind of taper gives your body/brain time to adjust to being without the bupe and the idea is to minimize both the acute AND the post-acute withdrawals. Also, not everyone experiences PAWS. Just think, you could be one of the lucky ones! I hope you are. Hang in there. Oh and I don't blame you for going with the decaf..I would too. Hang tough!

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 Post subject: Day...10.5
PostPosted: Mon Aug 01, 2011 8:12 am 
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Sorry, no update yesterday...for those that are following...Actually had an OK day, not great, but OK. I found, and still do find myself being almost brain dead sometimes. Like i will be sitting, there, just staring into space, and then catch myself, and be like WTF was i just doing? It is like many others have described, a feeling, or rather lack of feeling. It is very weird to me, almost like i used to feel being on subs, that sort of lack of emotion, or lack of care for whats happening right in front of you. I think the hard part for me is that my physical wds only lasted a solid 5 days, and i felt so much better after days 6 and 7 i thought i was out of the woods, and that any moment i would be back to normal. I think now i am realizing that normal, complete normalcy is a bit further down the road, which i'm not happy about, but can understand.
Got up yesterday, at 4, yes 4 am. Got out of bed, went to lay on the couch and watched TV for an hour, then took a bath/shower (baths still make me feel better, i find that in the shower i can barely stand up sometimes) and drove around for a bit, then went to work. Still getting half decaf coffees in the AM, which usually makes me feel even worse, so i'm not sure why i keep drinking them. I think it is because i am forcing myself back into a normal routine, with hopes that something will click, and i will snap out of whatever i'm going through. Or i just like to punish myself, not sure. What is a morning like without coffee anyway??
Later on i mowed the lawn, which didn't really need it, but it gave me something to do, as it was like 90 where i am yesterday and it was a little too hot for physical activity with the low levels of energy i currently have. Over the weekend, i found myself wanting to do things/activities, not because i enjoy them, but rather because it would make time go by faster. And the faster time goes by, the closer i get to feeling more normal each day. Its a very strange thought to have. Stuff to do is now more of a time waster, than a time of enjoyment for me. I'm sure a lot of this has to do with the fact that this was the first weekend i had off of subs, not to mention physically i felt fine (orvery close to it) :) , but hadn't made any plans for the past two days, because i was sick all last week. Now that its monday and i am back at work i do feel better, as i have a good amount to do before taking off for vacation on wednesday. Not to mention i have a huge "baby doc" appt this morning with my girlfriend, that is now starting to weigh on my mind.
One of my fears is that wednesday is going to come, i will leave for vacation, get there, and feel the same as i do now. Not wanting to do anything, or rather wanting to do things to make days go by quicker, vs having some fun. I'm sure once i get to where i'm going, it wont be like that, but the anticipation of having such a great time, followed immediately but the feeling of dread that i won't, happening 30 times a day in my head is a pain in my ass.
As everyone has said, every day is better than the previous, and although that is a very positive thing, my brain can't seem to recognize it, and i can't get passed the fact that i'm not taking any drugs, so why don't i feel normal? I know it will pass, but for me, it's very hard to overlook that fact that i'm not quite right just yet. Although, having said that, i also have been doing drugs for the last 10 - 12 years (opiates / subs for a solid 7+) so i suppose i shouldn't feel normal. Just hope i will recognize what "Normal" is when i start to feel it. Thats all for now. :)


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 Post subject: 3 am....
PostPosted: Tue Aug 02, 2011 5:19 am 
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well....it was three AM two hours ago...now that ive seen sportscenter for the second time in its entirety i figured i would come on and type something...really wish i took seroquel last night, as my girlfriend pleaded with me to instead take (2) of teh CVS nightime sleep aids...So...i took 3 and did fall asleep rather quickly. Which in itself is a good thing as i was under the impression that those type of sleep aids with the dyphenhydramine didn't work for me...so there is a positive from taking them, however, the negative obviously being that i am wide awake at 3:00...which did also happen last night when i took 1 1/2 25 mg seroquels. the difference between last night and tonight is that last night i was able to get up, move to the couch, and then fall back asleep till just after 5...not today though. i suppose its not the worst thing in the world, its not like i'm supper groggy and cant function. Don't get me wrong i am tired, but not to the point where i cant get up for the day. Think im going to go to my office and mess around there...i;ve got plenty to do before i bounce for my vacation wed. just once i want to sleep through the night...i think tonight i will force myself to stay up as late as i can, instead of going to bed at 10, i will wait and take my sleep meds at like 12, and hopefully i will get my sleep and wake up at a more normal time in the morning. Does that make sense to anyone? or is my internal clock still messed up and im going to wake up at 4 or 5 anyway?


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 Post subject: 4:30....shit
PostPosted: Wed Aug 03, 2011 5:38 am 
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do much for me trying to stay awak last night till midnight to take the seroquel...i actually started to get really drowsy on my own at around 10...so decided to take it then...im a little pissed at myself for even taking it, thinking that i might have gotten some natural sleep, but didn't want to take the risk of not getting any. As i leave for vacation today and have a shit load of things to do as well as a last minute doc appt at 1030, i figured i needed as much sleep as i could get. maybe i will try the natural sleep thing when on vaca...prob not, but we'll see.

On a side note...for the last almost year i have been waking up at like 5-6 every day with what i consider to be more than mild anxiety...i always assumed it was my last dose beginning to wear off, because i would immediately take my next dose and be back to sleep within a half hour...This may be too early to even ask this question...as i may still be dealing with some underlying symptoms...but for the last couple of days i've been experiencing that same thing...does anyone know of any conditions, whether they are related to suboxone or not that might cause this type of anxiety??? it is very uncomfortable and im sure it isn't good for me to keep waking up this early, and now not being able to fall back asleep without the subs...i dont want to wake up at 5 every day for ever...is there anyway i can reset my sleep clock to allow me to sleep a little later in the morning...that is, after im sure that all this wd stuff is behind me as today is still only day 11.


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 03, 2011 9:26 am 
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Hi BReal. That's funny you say that about 5am, because that has been my internal alarm since quitting subs on June 18th. It is frustrating to me, especially on weekends, but sure beats when I first jumped and was waking every couple of hours. I can totally relate to how you feel, though. I have noticed that on the weekends, if I just lay there and try to go back to sleep sometimes I can until 7am or so. I go to bed fairly early too, anywhere from 9-11, so I guess all in all I am getting enough sleep. Hang in there. Hope you have a nice vacation.

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 Post subject: Day...17
PostPosted: Tue Aug 09, 2011 9:47 am 
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Today is day 17...Almost normal...at least i think...I've been struggling a bit with the idea that i keep saying "I'm almost back to normal", when i haven't been normal for close to a decade, so i guess i can't use that term any more. For now, i will say, i feel good, but do not think I'm quite right, as "normal" to me, is not "normal" to people who didn't use for so many years. With that being said, i had a really good time on vacation. I felt very little as far as w/ds are concerned, just tired a lot. I think that being on vaca took my mind off of how i was feeling, which didn't really surprise me, as i am quite aware that at this point, much of what i'm feeling is closely related to what i am thinking about. So, if i don't think about how im feeling, i don't feel that way. I'm noticing this more now that i am back to work for the second day. Obviously i have more fun and enjoy vacation than i do at work, so it is much easier to forget what i'm going through.

I will say, that for where i am at i am quite happy...Happy to have the worst behind me, knowing it gets better with each day. Each day i feel a little less tired than the day before, and can focus a bit more than the day before. A this point (actually for the past week) i've taken nothing at all during the day as i have no wd symptoms that i feel i should be treating with medication. I do take seroquel to help with sleep, but that script will run out in a week or so and i'm hopeful i won't need it anymore and will be able to sleep through the night on my own.


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PostPosted: Tue Aug 09, 2011 11:40 am 
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Hey ibjust wanted to say congrats and thank you for posting its been very inspirational. Im at 2mgs a day and im looking to jump soon. You seemed like you got over the ohysical part very quickly compared to most people. Again congrats on being sub free!!


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 10, 2011 7:00 pm 
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Hey BReal--

I feel you bro. You and I are about neck and neck. I am on Day 15 right now. I stopped cold--jumped from 8mg/2year suboxone regimine. I should say I was pushed--like you I ran out early and the doc would not call any in until I cam to see her. And that couldnt happen until over the weekend. So I was like--What the hell. I was ticked at the doc. Ticked at the drug. But mainly ticked at myself for cowering to this little orange pill. SO I jumped. I havent regretted it--but I defintiely am paying the price for abusing myself. I had been on Vicodin mainly before Subox. For me the WORST is sleep. And I even take Trazadone and it doesnt seem to help. Im going to look up Seroquel and see what thats all a bout. Here's what I am finding. I have good days and not so good--but know that I am generally trending upward. Yesterday I felt amazing--and took out into the world like I was on fire. Today I feel drained. Lack of sleep is part I know. But also that brain dead feeling you described so well. But here is the deal dude. Keep that GF and baby in view. Keep slugging for them. I feel so bad for my little boy who wants to play and wrestle and I feel like crap. And my girls wonder why daddy is lying around so much. But I also try to have little spurts on the treadmill or force myself to be busy. For me Days 5-9 were the worst. No appetite. No coffee. No nothing. Then started the diareha and sneezing. ARGGG! But that's pretty much gone now. So my biggest complaint is the sleep issue and total exhaustion like a wrung out washcloth. Sheeesh. You sound like a guy who is committed and gonna make it man. Let me know if I can be of any other help!


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 Post subject: Seroquel
PostPosted: Wed Aug 10, 2011 9:50 pm 
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Brian_TX...Got your message and responded before i read this...as far as seroquel goes, i am taking it because i took it a few years ago when i went to rehab for ocs. I will however, tell you that i was originally give Trazedone for a night, but was told about a few side effects, mainly priopism (or however you spell it), which i actually ended up with that one night...not too mention it did nothing for me to help me sleep...luckily i didn't have to go to the hospital, by morning i was fine...needless to say i wasn't taking that again, so they switched me to seroquel (which also didn't work right away..although at the point when they switched my meds, i was still a week or so into wd's and eventually get to sleep on night 22) which i gues goes to show you that your body will sleep when its ready to sleep...I do know that seroquel's intended use is not for sleep, however for those people who do not need to take it for its intended use (which i believe an anti psychotic or something like that) it knocks them out pretty good in even smaller doses. I take anywhere from 25-50 mg's a night about an hour before bed, and although i don't sleep for 8 solid hours, yet, i do fall asleep quite well. I get around 5-6 hours a night, and wake up early feeling wide awake and find it quite hard to go back to sleep. Although i'm not complaining as getting any amount of sleep is a great thing. Keep trying to exercise as much as you can...the treadmill is a great thing if you can't get out and take a walk...For me, at least today, i had a lot of physical work to do at my job, and then played golf and walked the course...so i am expecting to sleep a bit better than usual tonight. Keep pushing your mind forward, as for me that was the most difficult thing do, but the more i was able to keep my mind off of what i was going through, the better i started to feel physically. Keep up the good work.


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