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 Post subject: Hopeless Newbie
PostPosted: Fri Aug 02, 2013 2:02 pm 
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That's all really. I saved you the long and pathetic story about how I feel like a loser, especially for being on Suboxone for over 15 months and too much of a 'female cat' to get off of it. Also my failed weans and cold-turkey jumps. On top of it, I'm stuck on Paxil as well, which has completely changed my personality over the last 11 years. I HATE who I've become! I just long for freedom from these drugs but I know there's a LONG road ahead of me for both of them. Times like these I wish I could remember, "One SECOND at a time," Let alone one DAY at a time.

But anyways, enough of the self-pity, I just can't/shouldn't share anything about Subs/psych meds in NA meetings (even though that's part of my 'experience' and that's what I'm struggling with) for fear of being ostracized from NA groups. I think it's funny that a bunch of ADDICTS are going to judge other ADDICTS? Wow... At least I know that I'M never going to judge another addict in MY situation EVER. I just wish I had other Subs people like me to talk to at NA/AA groups in my area (Chicago) to encourage each other and keep each other accountable for Subs stuff.

And yes, this is a desperate attempt to help get myself out of my current situation, so if you don't like it, troll somewhere else.


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PostPosted: Fri Aug 02, 2013 4:48 pm 
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I'm so sorry. I don't have any words of wisdom, because I know the position you're in will take so much more than any words I could muster.. but you aren't alone. There is hope, it just may take time to realize it. Sending you a huge virtual hug.

Is there anything good in your life at the moment? Do you have a supportive partner or spouse? Friends that you trust and can talk to? A job that satisfies you in any way? When I was the most scared and trapped feeling, I found that focusing on anything positive in my life, helped tremendously. Try not to look at everything all at once. Pick on one thing to tackle, fix, tweak, and make small steps. If you're battling depression at the same time as wanting to get off suboxone, that is really hard. You're not a pussy. There isn't anyone who could do it better or who wouldn't be scared.. it's a battle for everyone. Have you thought about trying to switch aniti-depressant meds first? Maybe Paxil isn't right for you and another could work better? Treating the depression may be the wisest first step, but I also know part of the depression can be the feeling of being stuck on subs. Regardless, you're best possible chance of getting through any of this, is to be on stable ground before jumping off something like suboxone. You have to be the strongest version of you.

I was on it for 6 years and know the hopeless feeling.. just hang in there and TRY not to read crazy horror stories online, they will only make you feel worse.

Use this forum to open up and talk about what's going on, no one will judge. We've seen, heard, and lived through it all.

hugs


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 Post subject: Re: Hopeless Newbie
PostPosted: Thu Aug 22, 2013 6:34 pm 
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Hey, thanx for the reply. I appreciate it. I'm in treatment now. Life's on the up and up hopefully.


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 Post subject: Re: Hopeless Newbie
PostPosted: Thu Aug 22, 2013 8:42 pm 
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Glad to hear you're in treatment! Is this a rehab facility? I'm assuming you're off or weaning off subs, then? If so, please please be careful if you decide to mess around. Your tolerance will be really low and it's extremely important to be aware of this. Wishing you the best!


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 Post subject: Re: Hopeless Newbie
PostPosted: Sun Dec 15, 2013 9:09 pm 
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It's December 15th, 2013 and anybody who is coming across this, I'm doing well now. I just hate to post a really big cry for help or what-not and have people (even if it's just internet) worry about me. Thanx to everyone's help on here!


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 Post subject: Re: Hopeless Newbie
PostPosted: Sun Dec 15, 2013 9:48 pm 
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That's great news!! Thanks for sharing the update with us!

Amy

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 Post subject: Re: Hopeless Newbie
PostPosted: Mon Dec 16, 2013 3:53 pm 
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that's GREAT that u are doing so much in just a few months! it gives me hope as im sure it does for anyone else who reads this


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