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 Post subject: Holy Temptation Batman!!
PostPosted: Sat May 31, 2014 11:52 am 
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I was rummaging through my car this morning looking for a bracelet and I stumbled upon an oxycodone. I could not believe it was in there. After almost a year - right under my nose and I didn't even know it. I sat in my car and stared it and thought back to that warm feeling. And then I remembered that it was never enough. Sure, I could take that one, but then what? It wouldn't be enough. I'd start obsessing "coming down" and needing another one. No matter what, it was just never enough.

So I literally ran inside (so as to not change my mind!) and flushed it down the toilet. I couldn't believe I'd done that. I almost cried. Not because I was sad but because of how far I've come.

Anyways...I'm super fucking proud of myself and I just had to share.

Addiction free since 7/18/13
Sub free since 11/1/13

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Spent too many years hooked on oxycodone
**OUT OF ACTIVE ADDICTION SINCE 7/18/13**
**OFF SUBS SINCE 11/1/13**

"the only way out is through"


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PostPosted: Sat May 31, 2014 12:21 pm 
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Fuckin brilliant! !!! I wish I had your strength


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PostPosted: Sat May 31, 2014 12:38 pm 
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Good job! something very similar happened ti me after about two months of being onsubs, cleaning out the car and found a baggie full of em. I made s thread about it called the sneaky monster, cause that's what opiate addiction is...a sneaky monster that is always waiting to get you when you least suspect! I think it's under misc Suboxone issues, anyway... I still don't know how it got there or where it came from and I don't care, but like you,I thought about it for a few minutes and ran to flush those suckers! it felt great!


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PostPosted: Sat May 31, 2014 12:50 pm 
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That is completely awesome! Good job and way to go!!

Amy

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PostPosted: Sat May 31, 2014 12:53 pm 
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You should be super fucking proud of yourself!!!!!!!!!!

If I may, I'd like to offer up this experience. Through my recovery, the times when I felt strongest in overcoming my addiction were usually followed fairly quickly by a crash and burn. I'm so happy for you that you flushed that oxy, but don't let yourself think that you have the upperhand on your addiction. I hate to sound like an asshole by saying that and I hope you understand I'm totally rooting for you, just wanted to share my experience so you don't fall into the same potholes I did.

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PostPosted: Sat May 31, 2014 4:05 pm 
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Awesome, awesome, awesome!

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PostPosted: Sat May 31, 2014 8:33 pm 
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Romeo wrote:
You should be super fucking proud of yourself!!!!!!!!!!

If I may, I'd like to offer up this experience. Through my recovery, the times when I felt strongest in overcoming my addiction were usually followed fairly quickly by a crash and burn. I'm so happy for you that you flushed that oxy, but don't let yourself think that you have the upperhand on your addiction. I hate to sound like an asshole by saying that and I hope you understand I'm totally rooting for you, just wanted to share my experience so you don't fall into the same potholes I did.



You're not an asshole. I always appreciate what you say. I take no offense and you are right. I know how powerful this problem can be. I know that if I take one, I might as well take 100 because I'll be at it daily immediately. It's just how I roll.

A lot of good things have happened since I've been clean. As you may remember, I lost my job a couple weeks after I stopped subs. It was such a hard time for me. I felt so down and depressed, but now I know it was for the best. If I was being honest, that place was super toxic for me. Since then, I've finished up on some education, obtained certification in my field, and I also started working with the doctors office who helped me. So that's been really rewarding and I think has helped keep me accountable.

I know that if I continue to do good, good will come my way. It's always how it's worked in my life. Karma, good or bad, has always come back to me.

I do take wellbutrin which has worked amazingly for me, both as an antidepressant and for my ADHD. I feel calm and centered and can't believe what an emotional, stressful, crazy train I was on less than 1 year ago.

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**OUT OF ACTIVE ADDICTION SINCE 7/18/13**
**OFF SUBS SINCE 11/1/13**

"the only way out is through"


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 03, 2014 4:05 pm 
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Romeo wrote:
You should be super fucking proud of yourself!!!!!!!!!!

If I may, I'd like to offer up this experience. Through my recovery, the times when I felt strongest in overcoming my addiction were usually followed fairly quickly by a crash and burn. I'm so happy for you that you flushed that oxy, but don't let yourself think that you have the upperhand on your addiction. I hate to sound like an asshole by saying that and I hope you understand I'm totally rooting for you, just wanted to share my experience so you don't fall into the same potholes I did.

I needed that because pot holes are everywhere, but what he said was true, its never fills the void so why? addict minds wana know
:lol:


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 03, 2014 7:39 pm 
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Yeah, the potholes are everywhere.....and I think my addict brain steered me towards every damn one of them!! Stupid ass brain!! :)

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