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PostPosted: Sun Sep 19, 2010 12:02 am 
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w/d are not only tough,but also strange. I find myself being moved (emotionally) by things as goofy as a commercial. I've listened to music today for the first time in a long time, and enjoyed it more than usual. I also feel my body just waking up in general. Its actually quite bizzare.

New-sub, you have no idea how much I can relate to your last post. One of the many motivating factors in my recovery is that my parents are getting very old (mid and late 70's) and I know I don't have that much time with them. They only live about 2 hrs from me and we get along well and I care for them very much, yet since I've been on the 'done I almost never go visit or even call....its all part of being a meth zombie...I find myself just comming home from work, vegging in front of tv until bedtime, then its same day all over again. I've just fallen away from family and friends, and 10 years went by in a flash!!! I feel like my life went on hold when I started methadone. btw....I'm sorry to hear about your family. I can soooo understand what you mean about how you were numb (emotionally) through that and how it now seems like a dream.

I've spent many hours tonight doing more research, including everything Dr. J has ever written I think! haha. It seems an almost certainty that due to my high dose and length of time on methadone, I'm headed for the 5th circle of hell if I does Tuesday which will really be after only 3 days of mild to moderate withdrawls. All the evidence seems to be that I should get down to 30 mg AND STABALIZE THERE. Don't misunderstand me, I'm not backing out and not even sure I'm not going to do it Tuesday. AND....and this is extremely important....there is no doubt in my mind that to go from 130 to 30 mg would absolutely require my to go through some tough withdrawls, so the pain I'm going thru now is absoluely necessary and I AM NOT....read my lips...NOT gooing to throw in the towel and just go back to the high dose methadone. That would mean all the hell- though it hasn't been REAL hell yet- I've gone thru the last few days would be wasted. I am, however, considering doing only 30 mg for a couple weeks to stablize. Thats what my sub Dr has told me I need to do, as well as Dr. J and other resources, I just wanted to rush the process. I fell like my 2 new friends here will take this line of thinking as panic and/or a relapse or even a defeat, but honestly its just about following professional recommendations (the sub manufacturer also told my doc to make me do this) so I can be certain I make it. I'm open to thoughts and criticisim, though.

Thanks for checking back, hatmaker. Once I do get on sub I'll try to repay all your kindness by being there for someone else who is going through it.


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PostPosted: Sun Sep 19, 2010 12:39 am 
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I absolutely think if you wait a couple of weeks that you're doing the right thing. Why put yourself through hell if you don't have to? I think you have been wise to do all the research you've done and to take your doctor's and the manufacturer's recommendations seriously. I don't think you're panicking, relapsing, or acting defeated. I think you're being SMART. We'll be here for you regardless. To be honest, I'm a bit relieved that you're going to wait and do it "right". Doing something quickly isn't necessarily doing it better.

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PostPosted: Sun Sep 19, 2010 1:11 am 
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Thanks for the support....I was really worried that if I do postpone to make sure I'm stable at 30 that you'd feel I'd wasted all the time you've spent helping me. Honestly I'm still notsure what I'm going to do...I have NO doubt that I'd be much better off to stablize and then do it. HOWEVER....I've got another big problem...I can't go back to the meth clinic until Thursday, and I have no other "connection" so I'd still have to do 3 days of full blown, mind bending w/d and Iknow Ican't take that. I'm considering just throwing myself on the mercy of the clinic doc and telling him I got rid of/took my last week of methadone because I decided to switch to sub but later learned it can't be done so fast. But if I do that, even if she takes pity and gives me some, 100% certain they'd take away my take-homes and I'd have to drive to the clinic every day for the next 2 weeks as I stabelize @30. (the clinic is 1.5 hrs 1-way, 3 hrs round trip!!!).

I'm sorry...I'm just blabbing about stuff useless to anyone else.....at least most of the posts we've done so far will be helpful to others in my spot, so I need to stick with that.

One question about the logistics of this site.....most on-line forum have the option of clicking on a users username and being able to see some basic info about that user....to whatever point that person wants it to be seen. Is that not possible here or am I just missing it? I fully understand that the very nature of the subject matter here (addiction) means that most people would want to remain anonymous. But I'm just curious about the MOST BASIC, unspecific details about people I'm getting to know here. Just things like whether they are male or female, what age bracket, where they live (even if its only what part of the US...not even what state, and anything else they may have made available. Is that kind of info available or has everyone here decided to releaseabsolutely NO info (which I understand if that is their choice). thanks all.


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PostPosted: Sun Sep 19, 2010 10:53 am 
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I think you should do just that - throw yourself on the mercy of that doctor and tell him/her exactly what's going on. I can't imagine they would make you go in daily again. Better yet, why not just get full agonists for a week - vic's or oxy's before your sub induction? That's a common way to transition from methadone to sub, so it's not like there's no precedent for your request. That way you can still induce soon and no daily clinic visits. Plus you'll have a better chance of having a smooth induction if you've spent a week on "regular" agonists. That would be my suggestion.

As for personal information about the members, just click on their name and go to their profile. There is no option for gender or age range, but for those willing to do so, they can enter their location. This is also where you can go directly to posts from that person as well as send them a private message (PM).

Oh, and by the way, we have regular live chat meetings on Monday nights at 9 pm eastern time. Just go to the index/main page and go to the bottom. You can enter the chat from there. Hope to see you there!

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-As I have grown older, I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.

-I'm only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand.


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PostPosted: Sun Sep 19, 2010 11:49 am 
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whew! Here it is....woke up with the REAL withdrawls. WOW! Took me exactly one week of extremely low dosing, almost no dosing, methadone to get here. It took soooooooo long, but then one night made the difference. If I didn't have at least a little bit left, I couldn't even face today. But don't worry....I know all this is neccessary in order to (at the very least)get me to a law enough dose I can stablize on, so whether I go for it Tuesday or end up taking low-dose methadone until I'm stable, I'm 100% as committed as ever....actually even MORE so.

For somereason when I point to peoples username, I don't get the "hand" and therefore can't click on them to see their profile. But no matter, I understandpeople probably don't reveal much anyway, nor would I, and thats understandable and certainly acceptable.


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PostPosted: Sun Sep 19, 2010 12:22 pm 
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I don't think I was clear enough. I believe it's only on the main index page that you can click on a username.

I'm not sure whether to tell you I'm sorry you feel like shit, or congratulations! :lol: On one hand, I am sorry you're not feeling well, but on the other, this might mean you're getting closer to your intended goal. You are definitely in a tough spot. I know how much you want to move on from where you've been at - stalled out, so to speak. You're excited to start suboxone and REALLY enter addiction remission. So naturally you want to be able to induce on Tuesday. Then there's the other side to it - what if you start too early? I can definitely empathize with your predicament. Give it another day and see how you're doing. You don't have to decide right now what to do when Tuesday arrives. At least you have the appointment and you'll be able to discuss it with the doctor then. HANG IN THERE! And thanks for keeping us updated. I've been thinking about you.

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-As I have grown older, I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.

-I'm only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand.


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PostPosted: Sun Sep 19, 2010 12:48 pm 
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Hey - regarding user profiles -

At the bottom of every post, you will see two buttons; one to send a PM and another one that says email. Just to the left of the PM button is an icon of a computer. If you click that it will take you to the user's profile.

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 Post subject: got it...
PostPosted: Sun Sep 19, 2010 1:30 pm 
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Thanks to both of you for that little bit of technical help. As expected, it appears people tell almost nothing about themselves for the public profile, which I certainly respect. I guess its just human nature that I would like to know just a little more about those I get to know (and owe so much to)on here...where they're from, whether they are m or f, age, etc. HOWEVER, in addition to respecting everyone's privacy, I also know that it really doesn't matter....we're all dealing with opiate addiction and have that in commone and nothing else really matters.


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PostPosted: Mon Sep 20, 2010 5:46 am 
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Hi cityman!

I know that I'm a little late to the party here, but I just wanted to let you know that I think that you are doing so well, and that I hope you get through this with minimal discomfort! I, personally, did not switch from methadone to Suboxone, however, I WAS taking an opiate with a half-life that is similar to methadone. I was drinking poppy tea multiple times daily, and that has a half life of around 36 hours, just like methadone and suboxone, so I can almost, sort of, relate to what you are going through, a little bit, anyway. I don't know how much tea I was drinking in terms of how it would convert to mg of methadone, but I was drinking a lot of the stuff, and it was pretty potent. I can say that I could easily do around 200mg of Oxycontin without getting totally trashed, so around 200mg of Oxy would get me high, not nodding, but high, if that helps.

For me, the transition was easy. I, personally, waited 36 hours after my last dose of tea to take my first Suboxone tablet. I know, it was a stupid thing to do as i could easily have gone into precipitated withdrawal, and I should have waited much longer than I did, especially given the half life of the tea, but I just felt so terrible that I took a chance, and everything turned out just fine, for me anyway. I am not advocating in any way that you only wait that length of time, but I thought that I would share my experience with you, as I think that our drugs of choice have a few things in common. However, my dose of tea may have been way too high for me to have switched without tapering first. I felt withdrawal for around seven days after I began taking subs. The withdrawal was mild, and bearable, but it was still present. I functioned just fine, and my body adapted to the change well, and I didn't throw the towel in or anything. I started on around 12-16mg of sub, and quickly reduced that to 4mg. I just wanted to let you know that if you feel like you cannot taper your methadone before switching to sub that you may have a week or two that feels rocky, however, it will pass shortly, and you will start to feel much better soon! I see why you would want to wait, and adjust to a lower dose of methadone first, however, and obviously agree that this is the wisest course of action to avoid discomfort.

Anyway, I hope that you are doing well, and I think that you will adjust to the Suboxone, when you start the treatment, very well, and that you will find yourself a lot more clear headed, and able to deal with life. However, if Suboxone doesn't work for you after you've given it a good chance, don't be afraid to go back onto methadone. Do whatever you need to do to lead a happy and productive life. Good luck to you, and please keep us all updated. You are doing very well so far!:)

P.S. I am a 24 year old female who lives in Indiana:)


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 Post subject: t.y.
PostPosted: Mon Sep 20, 2010 10:06 am 
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Wow Melsie, what a nice post....and trust me, it couldn't have come at a better time. This morning I'm in pretty bad shape so that always makes it a little more tempting to just say "forget this" and throw it in....but don't worry, I am not going to do that. I may well do what everyone including my meth doc and sub doc say I should...which is to get to a low-dose and stay there for quite a while, but I'm not going to give up and go back to methadone without at least giving sub a serious, lengthy try first. It is very reassuring, though, to hear from someone who has been on a strong dose of opiates made teh transition fairly well.

THanks again for the nice note....


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PostPosted: Sun Sep 26, 2010 12:03 pm 
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Hey thecityman, how are you doing? Did you make the switch or are you still waiting & getting your tolerance down?

Check in and let us know how things are going for you. I hope you're well.

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 Post subject: Melsie cares
PostPosted: Sun Sep 26, 2010 12:21 pm 
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What a beautiful post to thecityman from Melsie

Melsie, you are the best! You wrote to me at a time when I was at the end. And I mean the end. You took your time to explain some things to me. You eased my mind. You made me think. I was better & I made it to my new sub doctor & things got back on track. Thank you and God bless you for that. I saved your post, my daughter read it and she cried. Really!

Now you did it again with thecityman. You are one special person. I used this thread to say this so everyone could see it instead of a private message.

Love & hope, queenie


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PostPosted: Tue Sep 28, 2010 1:22 am 
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Queenie, you are just about the nicest person ever, aren't you? Thanks so much! You are such a sweet person, I really appreciate all of the nice things you say to me! You're making me blush! I wrote back to your PM, as well:)


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 30, 2010 3:57 pm 
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thecityman wrote:
w/d are not only tough,but also strange. I find myself being moved (emotionally) by things as goofy as a commercial.


Oh, man, I really remember that! And I mean, stupid, silly, meaningless commercials about Glad Trash Bags and stuff like that just making me completely break down into a heaving pile of sobs :lol:


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 Post subject: silly stuff
PostPosted: Thu Sep 30, 2010 4:50 pm 
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Me too! Man, one day I was going into WD's and my daughter put on the song" That's What Friends Are For" and I turned into a slobbering, sobbing, heaving mess. She looked at me like I was crazy.

Boy, what pills can do, huh? No more. I'm done.

Love & hope, queenie


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 Post subject: Moods
PostPosted: Thu Sep 30, 2010 7:26 pm 
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Now that we are on the crying jag aspect of Withdrawal, I feel good on my current sub dosage and I am so pleased with my new doctor.

However, lately I notice that maybe once or twice a day I will suddenly feel a great sadness. So much so that I get a funny feeling in my stomach. It doesn't last long. Maybe 2 or 3 minutes. But it is intense. Do any of you get that? I guess it's like the crying jag thing.

Love & hope, queenie


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 04, 2010 12:52 pm 
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I know I am late to reply but thought I would throw in my experience anyways.

I made the switch to Sub. from 90mg of methadone. I did not taper I just stopped for 3 days (71 hours to be exact). I was in withdrawal for sure when I took the sub.

The first day I took it I had relief, not 100% but significant relief. It took about 2 more days of just sticking with it before I was completely 100%. Suboxone is about equal to 30-50mg of methadone so if one is taking higher than that prior to the switch there will be a net withdrawal. Just know it will pass and it is not full blown. I see you tapered down and that is good. the biggest thing is just to make sure you are in withdrawal when you take it and know that if you do not feel 100% the first day or 2 that it is normal and will pass as you adjust.

You will do great on Suboxone, Good luck.


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