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PostPosted: Sun Apr 18, 2010 5:14 am 
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If this is against the rules sorry.

But im really haveing some bad craveings not for painkillers but for weed cause all i hear about is 4/20 from my friends and other pepople i know. i smoked for 8 years been to amsterdam twice,cali,canada all for weed true botique smoker over those years. I quit for my suboxone treatment cause i really wanted to stay with my dr but half way into my treatment they started a new poolicy about UAs basicly 3 strikes we all know what that means. I smoked at first to get high but then when i hurt my knee it became a extra medication when the oxy wasnt enough on those bad days. i even could of switched drs cause i know one that will dismiss it but my opiod addiction is more important then weed so i quit. any ways i called both my 1 on 1 drs and they cant fit me in so i dont know what to do. my mom is my support and shes gonna be out of town tuesday and im out of options? i know people have alot worst craveings on this site then weed but this could get me kicked out of my program because every paitent had to sign a contract at the first of april due to 420 and no tolerance if u come up for weed your out. i have never failed a UA over my 3 years with her and i dont want to let her down but im scard im gonna run into the wrong spot at work or school and i have to be places so i cant just lock myself up in my room for the day like i wanted to do once i found out i could see either of my drs and my mom is out of town.

if anyone else is going threw this or has some ideas on how i could get my mind of this please let me know.

ps
the main reason im haveing really bad craveings is cause last night i tweaked my knee not real bad but enough to the point were my sub is not working. i take sub for pain mang and addiction just so you all know.


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PostPosted: Sun Apr 18, 2010 8:55 am 
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Hi Bboy,

I'm so sorry you're having a hard time and I hear you beating yourself up. I was much like you before I started suboxone. In addition to all the meds I was taking, I was also smoking post 24 hours a day. Literally. I also quit when I started subs. So I understand your cravings. I used to have those too when I was still new to suboxone. What I've found is the longer I've been on it the less I crave marijuana.

It sounds like - and I hate to be blunt - that you just don't have a choice. Because if you do smoke, you're right, you'll get booted from the program and there goes your suboxone. What would your life be like without it? Would it be worth it?
The first time it's offered to you and you turn it down - which I know you can do - you'll feel very empowered, not to mention quite proud of yourself. Maybe thinking of it that way will help you.

I don't know if this has helped at all, but I wanted to at least acknowledge the shitty situation you're in now and offer you some support. Hang in there.

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PostPosted: Sun Apr 18, 2010 3:49 pm 
I'm sorry you're struggling too Bboy. My gosh...you've done so well. I know you don't want to blow everything for a few minutes of smoking pot and a few hours of getting high! I'm totally confident that you are too smart for that! It just wouldn't be worth it! Just keep on reminding yourself of that.
The thing is....We can't insulate ourselves from temptation forever. We can do everything possible to avoid situations that put our recovery at risk, yes, but there's no foolproof way of avoiding them forever. I agree with Hatmaker....the first time you turn it down will be very empowering. Hopefully it will get easier as time goes by and the more times you say "no." I also believe that the older you get and the more you go about living your life in recovery, the less you will find yourself surrounded by people who use drugs of any kind. You'll be hanging out with people who are like you.....either in recovery or not addicts in the first place.
In the meantime, I'd say to keep yourself busy. Schedule yourself heavily on the day that your Mom is gone so you'll have somewhere else to be if someone wants you to get high. Make plans with someone who does not use drugs. It's a shame to me that people who are supposed to be your 'friends' still talk about this stuff in your presence. You might even want to say something, "hey guys, you know if I smoke I'll get kicked out of my program, so come on....quit tempting me!!" If they are really your friends, they'll respect what you're doing and shut up. On the other hand.....addicts are a self-centered group without much insight into the feelings and needs of others, so I don't know if that will help or not.
You just hang in there. You can get through this! You're doing a good thing. You don't need that crap! If you can stay strong and keep going on this path.....you'll see in a few years where you are compared to where they are! I have a feeling you'll be doing a whole lot better than them. Just think about that when you're tempted......You're going somewhere good, planning a future for yourself that does not include being high all the time, going to jail, ending up on the street, or dying. Stick to your committment to yourself, your Mom and your doctors! You can do it!


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PostPosted: Sun Apr 18, 2010 11:30 pm 
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BBoy,

Just keep on reminding yourself that it's all in your head. Pot is in NO way physically addictive. You just gotta keep on reminding yourself that. Don't get me wrong, I love the ganja but you have the rest of your life to do that if you want to. You gotta stay with the program and stay on the subs or it you might go down a dark road that you don't want to go down again. Try to do productive things on 4/20, go to the movies or something. That will keep you occupied.

Good Luck,
Ryan


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 20, 2010 3:43 am 
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hatmaker510 wrote:
Hi Bboy,

I'm so sorry you're having a hard time and I hear you beating yourself up. I was much like you before I started suboxone. In addition to all the meds I was taking, I was also smoking post 24 hours a day. Literally. I also quit when I started subs. So I understand your cravings. I used to have those too when I was still new to suboxone. What I've found is the longer I've been on it the less I crave marijuana.

It sounds like - and I hate to be blunt - that you just don't have a choice. Because if you do smoke, you're right, you'll get booted from the program and there goes your suboxone. What would your life be like without it? Would it be worth it?
The first time it's offered to you and you turn it down - which I know you can do - you'll feel very empowered, not to mention quite proud of yourself. Maybe thinking of it that way will help you.

I don't know if this has helped at all, but I wanted to at least acknowledge the shitty situation you're in now and offer you some support. Hang in there.


Hey thanks for posting guys! yea i ask for the day off at work i explain to my boss what im going threw an that i would like to be with my family so their are no mistakes and i dont get kicked out of my suboxone programs and i only have class in the morning. so i talk to my dad about this and were gonna go the park with my dog cain then go out to dinner after we drop him off. im glad i could talk to my parents about this i usually talk to my mom about my issues but its good to know my dad is also hear to support me. and good news i actually got in to my 1 on 1 couns today monday to talk about this and she also gave me some good info. so i think i could make it threw this thanks for the support.

you are right about the friends thing. i have 2 true best friends that know now to talk about it and r current with my sub treatement. but my other friends who were talking about it are either in my classes at school or at work. thats the main reason i took off work with out rating on anybody i knew they would all be smokeing on breaks non stop.

but you r right in the long run it will be well worth it cause when i transfer schools and its time to buckle down it will be not as hard now that im clean i just hope the pain isnt to bad in my knee. but im studying to be a chemical dependency couns. so it defeats the purpose if im doing any drug an that makes me fell good!


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 20, 2010 9:43 pm 
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Hey guys made it threw the day with minor caraveings but my dad and i had a good time and kept my mind off it for the most part. the only true craveings i had was when we were at the park and walked by the woods i knew that smell lol. but didnt affect me as much as i thought it would and my knee is ok today.


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 20, 2010 10:03 pm 
Good job Bboy! Glad everything turned out okay for you! I guess it is true that if we just make the 'next right choice' things can slowly turn around! You're living proof....keep up the good work!


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