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 Post subject: Here I go
PostPosted: Fri Mar 02, 2012 1:54 am 
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Joined: Fri Mar 02, 2012 1:26 am
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After a good year of abuse I just took my last Vic. I'm a 37 year old educated professional woman with a beautiful and healthy 3 year old. I quit drinking 8 years ago after 10 years of alcoholic binge drinking. I was a big pot head and after stopping drinking I found pills for my buzz. I liked Xanax. But didnt like Vicodin. However, a little more than a year ago I began to take anfewbon the weekend and hang out at night and clean my house. I slowly but surely began to use all day everyday. I would sometimes get them from the doc for "migraines" but mostly from a dealer for $10/banana (10mg). I'm tired of being tired, feeling like shit, having my first and final thought of each day about my pills and money. I'm in the hole about $10k from this.

I have seen a doc twice and last week got a script for suboxone. I spent about a week finding a good counselor and met with her today. She is wonderful, covered by my insurance, and specializes in opiate addiction. I learned today that I am now officially in outpatient rehab. I can't believe this. What scares me is the thought of having to leave my son to go to rehab. I have to make this work and will do it. I have evrything going for me but have fucked up and became addicted to Vic's. I've lied and cheated and kept secrets. I could easily take 100mg a day but usually held at 60.

Tomorrow I will go to work and expect to start to feel like shit as my w/ds set in. I'll pick up my son and come home and sweat it out the best I can and for as long as I can. Myndoc had told me to take the sub 12 hours after my last Vic but my counselor and what I've read on here I need to wait longer for the sub to really work. I plan to take half a 8mg strip first and see how that goes. I assume I may need more. Thoughts? Recommendations? What can I expect?

I look forward to being able to relax, work harder, enjoy my son, continue to be a runner, get out of debt and try to live life. I'm scared that I won't enjoy life without the Vicks. I do plan to have some Xanax bars on hand - although I know total sobriety is the goal.

It feels good to be active on here and not just a voyeur :D I have enjoyed reading your stories. They have been helpful and encouraging. The sadist in me is excited to feel like shit as I have not "felt" for so long.

Peace and love and here's to a restful night sleep as I'm expecting the sleep to elude me for a while. Does anyone take Xanax to ease the edge? Would love to hear from any and all of you. Thanks for sharing your stories.

Love
Ray


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 02, 2012 2:10 am 
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Joined: Mon Oct 10, 2011 10:04 pm
Posts: 421
Location: California, San Diego
Welcome,
You should try posting in the "Introduction" section of the forum (top of the page) You will likely get a lot more replies & advise. You HAVE come to the right place though.. Good luck Rayanne...........


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