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 Post subject: Here we go AGAIN
PostPosted: Wed Aug 01, 2012 6:16 pm 
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Hello
my son is 21 and has been on subs for a little over a month and he was doing great. He is addicted to roxy...NO WAIT he is addicted to drugs . I think he would do anything avilable. Last night when he came home he had that look ...the look of trying to cover up being high. When he went to work this morning i went to his room where i found a set of needles ...WOW ....Okay i said i would not yell and scream and act like a crazy mom...but i did. Ugggh of course he used the excuse i am moving out ...it was only once blah blah...i am not sure what he did but i think methanphetamine.He seems to think when you are good for a while you are somehow derserving of an occasionl slip up. I want to help i really do..Do i tell his Dr ? Will they kick him off suboxone? Can he even have his dose now? If not then when? Am i Enabling...I cant even understand the difference between helping and enabling anymore.


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 01, 2012 7:39 pm 
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I hear the frustration in your writing and also your pain, but...as I was trying to really connect so I might can help....I also picked up on he thinks he deserves a reward/relapse when he does good for a little while...I was accused of that for years and to a certain degree it was the truth, but in most cases it was I didn't know how to handle/deal with the success. It was nothing deliberate though, I didn't sit and think this out...it just happened...call it an excuse or whatever, but after 2 and 1/2 years of successful MAT therapy now in the beginnings I did not know how to handle anything good. Like positive reinforcement. Just as soon as everyone would start commenting and congratulating me on a little time I had pulled on methadone....I would muck it all up.

There are many of us that do not get it the first few times or even the first 100 times and that really is a shame because of all the additional time we are messing up, but actually in some instances each relapse is a bit closer to possible no relapsing. Hence the saying "Relapse is sometimes a part of recovery". FROM A MOTHER'S VIEW, it's so hard to see but "down here" from the active drug addicts point of view relapse is not necessarily the end of the world...in fact it is more normal and at times more comfortable to us than recovering or being clean. Maybe to take the hysteria out of the "finding the facts" such as needles etc...you need to pray that this is just a step closer to maybe him getting it. When I finally got it was when I was no longer the center of attention by both, reward and consequence. When I stopped responding to my loved one's reactions both good and bad such as their rewards to and for me and their consequence to and for me was when I only had to deal with me.

I am not sure if I am saying this in any manner that anyone can understand, but trust me I do have a message here....re-read it a few times and maybe it will become clearer. Please MOMMA do not think I am condemning you for your approach or anything you have done to date I am just speaking of a different way to maybe look at it so maybe for your own good you are not so reactive this is no good for either of you and anyone else in your household.

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Wishing you the best in love and life. Finallyachance.


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 01, 2012 8:58 pm 
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I did reread this many many times.You are very smart. Thats why i come here lol. The part that struck a nerve with me is when you stated dealing with sucess.SO TRUE my son actually bought and paid for his own car (a junk box) but its his. I told him how proud i was of him. And he was so happy (something i have not seen in a while) and he goes out and gets high? And you are also correct finding needles adds to the drama very taboo-ish . You know i dont know why but i am always shocked? He just spent a year in prision he was using 2 weeks later. He asked for suboxone. We are just average people without insurance so thier are many sacrifices to pay for it plus the Dr. visits. I do not like feeling played and i feel like we are the ones in hell instead of him. . I am going to do whatever it takes I just dont always know what that is. I dont know if he is ready to stop. I think he just want us to feel better . Thank you for your response it means the world to me.


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 01, 2012 10:49 pm 
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Hey dmac,

You're in a difficult situation, no doubt about it. Your son is an addict, but you're not. It's extremely hard for a non-addict to understand an addict.

Addiction is a disorder of the brain.

You gave a great example when you said, "He just spent a year in prision he was using 2 weeks later." What on earth would make a normal person use drugs two weeks after getting out prison? You would think he would have learned his lesson, right? If only it were that simple.

I would highly suggest you get your son in with a good addiction counselor. My addiction counselor helped me to understand the nature of addiction, he helped me to see how my addiction skewed my thinking. Once I had a better understanding of addiction, I had a fighting chance of learning to live with it. Learning about recovery (AA, NA, SMART Recovery) taught me even more ways to live with this addiction of mine. I would suggest he try some kind of recovery too.

Suboxone does not cure addiction. Suboxone occupies his opiate receptors and stimulates them enough to where he shouldn't crave opiates. That's all Suboxone does. While on Suboxone, most of us get a lot of normalcy back in our lives and that normalcy can help to re-program our brains so our addiction is not quite as strong, but our addiction is still present, make no mistake about it.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that Suboxone alone is rarely enough, especially for a poly drug abuser. He may not crave opiates (if he's taking his Suboxone properly), but his cravings for other drugs is more than likely still in place.

On our own, we addicts seem to rarely be able to conquer our addiction. We're using a sick brain to try and figure out a sick brain.

I hope you can get your son some kind of additional help and I hope he's willing to listen to it.

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Be kind to yourself. Our character defects do NOT define who we are!


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 Post subject: One more thing
PostPosted: Wed Aug 01, 2012 11:46 pm 
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I meant to but forgot to mention that suboxone only helps with opiate addiction real well. I have heard it might help curb alcohol etc....but methamphetamine is a whole other monster not affected in the least by suboxone. Unfortunately, I have two friends that begged me to talk to their family about how methadone had helped me with my addiction...I did not know in the last two years while I was staying away from them they had incorporated and made crack cocaine the primary drug of choice so now they get their opiate addiction satisfied by their methadone but that in turn gives them more money and resources to buy crack cocaine....

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Wishing you the best in love and life. Finallyachance.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Aug 06, 2012 9:24 pm 
Hey Shorty Moms, my oldest son is 19. I understand and truthfully feel that pain. I got that opiate addiction on my side of the family. My wifes brothers and dad were heavy spead freaks. If your son is doing the suboxone and meth. He is doing that speedball shit. Come high and land low gently. We all done it here, so its ok. I suggest if you found needles you need to have a talk. Not a scream session like you said. If he says he is gonna do it no matter what. Make sure he goes to the pharmacy and grabs a clean spike EACH TIME. Very important. I know this is sad to think about but disease is sadder. I caught it from sharing needles throughout the 80's mainly. But, I stopped using IV. I was the biggest junkie I knew. And believe me, that was a statement. I hung around alot of concerts and I dont name names. I saw some crazy shit. My point is, if i got off the junk- ANYONE CAN. Believe it moms


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 Post subject: I took your advice
PostPosted: Sat Aug 18, 2012 9:23 pm 
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I sat down and talked. Of course he said that was the only time lol. Its been a couple of weeks and i have not found anything and trust me i look. I watch him take the film wait till it melts i know all the spitting out tricks. He seems better .Yet still every once in a while he seems a little to hyped up ? i watch.. he eats and sleeps so i dont know what it is..BUT ITS SOMETHING . He is claiming Pot lmao . its almost like when he was doing roxies but not as severe? I dont think its meth because i have seen him on that and he is not that hyped. He still thinks an addict can be a recreational drug user. I just can not figure out what he is doing maybe this speedball stuff is it. can you do that with the film? I thought that had to be done together like at the same time. I so appreciate this forum. Thank you


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PostPosted: Tue Aug 21, 2012 12:51 am 
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Hey Dmac that suboxsaves is a fake account by a joker that filled up the forum with bullshit. I wish all his posts would be deleted. If I was the one who made them I would edit all my fake posts and delete the text. Shame on him for posting nonsense is threads as serious as this.

-glen b


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