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PostPosted: Sat Oct 13, 2012 9:12 am 
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Sorry one more thing. I don't consider myself "lucky" for having a habit that has ruined all the trust in my marriage, lucky for putting my at the time 2 year olds life in danger by blacking out with him in his crib and having the fire dept break my door in because my husband was at work and couldn't reach me and I had not picked up my older in school as I was in the bathroom on the floor. "Lucky" that I have spent THOUSANDS of dollars on drugs, lucky that I have stollen from my mom etc etc etc. I am an addict and this addiction has ruined my self esteem my relationships and WILL ruin my life. Just because I am not YET a daily user does in no way make me lucky. In fact I feel cursed the opposite of lucky and it offends me to hear you call me "lucky" These past 4 years have been hell and I am filled with such guilt and shame and sadness. So please think twice before you call someone with an addiction "Lucky"


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PostPosted: Sat Oct 13, 2012 10:17 am 
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Lighten up RN, in the context of the topic it was perfectly acceptable to use the term "lucky". You're in a forum full of recovering addicts- theres not a person in here that hasnt been thru everything you have and wouldnt feel lucky if they could have tackled this at 35mg's per week . It was meant as a good thing- you still had options before you resorted to a powerful medicine like suboxone-so in comparison you bet your butt you're one of the lucky ones.

I wish someone would have told me what I was in for when I started subs.. I wasn't as "lucky" as you- I was way over 35 mg a week so I would have still gone on them anyway.. But take my word for it, getting off the subs will be much harder than getting off 35 MG's a week.. Subs aren't the cure, they're just a tool..

Regardless, you've made the decision to start them and I wish you the best in your treatment


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PostPosted: Sat Oct 13, 2012 12:13 pm 
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Sorry nogroovin, I didn't mean to come off defensive. I do understand i am lucky in the fact I can beat this before I lose everything. I guess I just took it as I don't feel "lucky" in life...I do understand that getting off subs will be harder PHYSICALLY then coming off my weekly habit. But I guess I feel I would rather deal with that then to continue lying and doing illegal stuff like take narcs from my job. I feel I now have time to explore and figure out why this happened to me (although I did go through some extreme emotional trauma which is what I feel is partially responsible as well as dependency issues). I am on a legal medication that my husband know I am taking so no more hiding money, lying and stealing from work. Thanks again for your support!!


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PostPosted: Sat Oct 13, 2012 12:19 pm 
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Rn,

It's cool, no harm, no foul.. It's all good.. Remember, we've ALL been where you are and know how you're feeling. One of the things subs will allow you to do is deal with the guilt.. You're not a bad person, you've got a disease, just like all of us..

I should point out I'm pro sub. I just kind of view it as a last resort.. The goal is ultimately to be drug free and subs can be tough to get off.. Either way, you're being proactive about your addiction and I'm sure your husband is very proud of you and soon you will be too..


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Fond Du Lac Psychiatry
Dr. Jeffrey Junig, M.D., Ph.D.

  • Board Certified Psychiatrist
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