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 Post subject: help with a friend
PostPosted: Tue Feb 01, 2011 1:16 am 
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Hi, I'm desperately trying to help a friend beat percocets, I have strongly suggested soboxone, and given her names of docs with numbers close to her home. I am constantly hearing how she wants to be off of them, and how embarrassed she being an addict, so when I help her with this info, she takes it lightly and won't discuss it any further with me. I am at my wits end, this has been going on for 4 years now, and I refuse to be an enabler. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated!


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 01, 2011 7:30 am 
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Hi jt -

What a sucky position you are in! I've never been in your shoes, but I am an addict (in remission) and I know what my addiction did to my husband, so I can try to imagine the situation you're in. First I want to say what a great friend you are to try to help her. Just because she hasn't taken your advice doesn't mean you're enabling her. That would depend on the dynamics of your friendship.

It could be that your friend isn't quite "ready" to stop the cycle of addiction yet. Many people believe to do that they have to have hit bottom. You can't force a person into recovery/remission - she has to want it - at least on some level.

That said, have you ever just discussed how she feels about suboxone? Some people don't understand it or how it works and perhaps she is one of those people? She might have the mistaken impression that it's "switching one addiction for another" or something like that. So if I were you, I'd try to find out what she thinks suboxone will actually do for her and then, if necessary, maybe you could educate her on how it actually works. This site can really be informative about suboxone and addiction.

I know this isn't a very clear answer for you, but a situation like this is very complicated. I really do hope you can get through to her and help her get into remission. With suboxone's help, her life could be completely turned around.

Good luck and keep us posted. Again, you're a terrific friend and she's lucky to have you.

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-As I have grown older, I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.

-I'm only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand.


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 01, 2011 9:23 am 
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Most addicts think they can beat this on their own. Unfortunately, statistics show that they can't. You can't "taper" from percocets when you are addicted to them. You can't taper using something less potent like vicodin. But addicts will try. They think or assume that normal people do it and they try to be like normal people. But even normal people can't taper once they are dependent on narcotics, or at least not very easily or very well.

It's also very hard to take that first step and decide to stop. It means you are admitting failure on your own. You are going to have to admit that to a complete stranger. There is fear of being treated like an "addict" and many addicts don't feel on the inside like those "other people". There is fear that the solution won't work. That they will experience withdrawal or that they will be absolutely miserable and won't be able to go back. Back to what? This non-functional state of getting high and going through withdrawal but the addict is familiar with it at least and knows what to expect.

There are many other "reasons" addicts come up with. It is very hard to say what she is thinking. Often there is some kind of shame involved. Feeling shameful about where things ended up. Feeling shameful that you can't quit. Feeling shameful of the things you have done to maintain getting high. As a friend, anything you can do to take the shame out of it might be helpful. Anything you can do to make suboxone sound like it is just the normal route for people who get dependent on narcotics. Or to explain that becoming dependent on pain killers is merely a side effect of opiates and nothing to be ashamed of or ....I don't know really because I don't know your friend. But these are the best ideas I have and you probably get the point.

Good luck with your friend.

Cherie

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Criticism may not be agreeable, but it is necessary. It fulfills the same function as pain in the human body. It calls attention to an unhealthy state of things.

- Winston Churchill


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PostPosted: Wed Feb 02, 2011 12:02 am 
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thank you both for your insight, I'm hoping I made some type of progress this evening. I will find out more tomorrow, and I will keep ya'll posted!!!! I'm very excited, but ready for a let down if ya know what I mean. BUT....I will not back down, I'm ready to go guns blazin if this gift given tonight is'nt taken.
thanks again, I'm grateful that this site and ya'll are here to be able to talk to, I think it's very important for everyone that is in close contact with an addict has support also.


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Fond Du Lac Psychiatry
Dr. Jeffrey Junig, M.D., Ph.D.

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