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PostPosted: Thu Mar 10, 2011 3:57 pm 
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Hi. I'm new around here. I am, myself, a recovering opiate addict. I have been clean now for a year. I don't know how or why, I simply woke up one morning and discovered I was ANGRY with my addiction and the lifestyle it brought. I stopped using that day. I have attended the odd meeting here or there, but I admit I do not attend as I should. I was deep into the addiction with my fiance for two years before stopping.

My fiance continues to use. He tried to stop a year ago with me, but went right back. This cycle continued for the last year. I have seen him through several cold turkey attempts as that is what I was experienced in dealing with. Most failed, a couple worked. He was back on opiates within a month. He went to a couple meetings too, but nothing regular, and I wonder if that is because I didn't go as I should have. Logically, I know I should not blame myself for his addiction, but this is hard. We discovered opiates together. We assisted each other in getting them, I feel obligated to assist him get off them. Yes, I know this needs to be his process, I know it isn't my fault, I know I can't help him. What my brain tells me and what my heart tells me are two separate things.

The reason I am here, is that he has made an appointment with a suboxone doctor. I know little about suboxone. In fact, despite my past and despite the fact that I am clean, I know little about the recovery process as a whole. I don't know what I should, or should not be doing. What would be truly helpful, what won't be. Where to step back if I must, or where to step in, if at all. Perhaps someone here can give me some insight. I believe he wants out of the cycle. I truly do. He searched this doctor out and made this appointment on his own. Is there any helpful support I could extend to him?


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 10, 2011 5:02 pm 
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I know this, everyone comes into and through recovery in their own way. I can only imagine your frustration, but it's about to get a lot better. Suboxone should be a great big step forward for him. There are basically two types of opiates, full agonist and partial agonist. Full agonist opiates include Oxycodone, Hydrocodone, Heroin, etc. These full agonist opiates attach to the mu receptor and stimulate it greatly (as in getting high). Suboxone, a partial agonist, attaches to the mu receptor as well, but doesn't stimulate it like a full agonist. Most people say they don't feel a "high" from Suboxone, but it will usually wipe out all the cravings for full agonist opiates.

Suboxone will give him the chance to address his addictive behaviors, usually through some kind of counseling or AA/NA meetings. He might require long term maintenance, he might be able to use Suboxone for 6 months or so then taper off of it? It's extremely hard to know just how long he'll need to be on it.

As far as what you can do to support him, all I can do is relate what my wife did for me. She loved me no matter what. She was there for me during my whole addiction and simply loved me. So, I'm going to say to make sure he knows how much you love him.

Congratulations on being clean for a year tinkiegrrl!!!!


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 11, 2011 12:12 am 
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well i think that your situation was a little different from most peoples experience with addiction. By this I mean that most people do not just stop one day and stay clean. its wonderful that you did that but i dont think thats the norm, in fact i know its not the norm with the people that i have been around. anyways, i think that its ok for you to support him in his recovery as long as your sobriety is not in jeopardy. i also think that suboxone will be very good for him as long as he goes to counseling or meetings in addiction to taking the sub.

if i were in your position i would make sure that you support him without enabling him and also make sure that you dont stress yourself out to much over his recovery. you can stand by someone without stressing yourself out and letting their recovery affect you negatively.


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 11, 2011 8:54 am 
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Hello tinkie and welcome to the forum. You obviously love your fiance a lot, as evidenced by your coming here looking for information. Like Bitzy said, it's awesome that you quit like that on your own, but I agree that it is not the norm. Most opiate addicts are unable to stop on their own. So you should be unbelievably proud of your success and, yes, protect it.

I would say the best thing you can do for him is to support him in his suboxone treatment. Know that it can help save his life...know that it's not "switching one addiction for another". Allow him the time he needs to be on it - be it for a year or for an indefinite amount of time. Relapse rates for opiate addicts, as he obviously knows, are EXTREMELY high, even for people who've stopped suboxone. Think of sub as treating a medical condition (addiction).

Just keep loving him and let him know you're there no matter what. You might want to check around the different topics here on the forum as well as Dr. Junig's blog (Suboxone TalkZone) to learn more about suboxone. Knowledge is power!

Hang in there and please keep us updated on how you both are doing.

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PostPosted: Sat Mar 12, 2011 10:44 pm 
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I can say from personal experience of being an addict and currently being on Suboxone that this medication is an absolute life saver. And if he has searched out doctors and made an appointment to get on the Suboxone it sounds like hes actually ready to begin recovery. Like I said Suboxone can be an absolute life saver and can make a huge difference in a very short time, but he will definately need your support. My advice to you would be to do what my husband did, read up on Suboxone as much as you can and go to his first doctors appointment with him, the first one is when he will be getting "inducted onto the Suboxone" the doctor will give him his first dose of the medicine in the office to see what the effects on him are ,and to find what is going to be the right dose for him and this will be a really important day for him, a life changing day and it will make all the difference to have you there for that process. 8)

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