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PostPosted: Sun Jul 28, 2013 12:18 pm 
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I have been on suboxone now for about 2 months. I started it, like many, to deal with an oxy addiction of about 1 year. I was originally put on 8mg a day, which felt far too intense to me after the first 2 days of that. I stopped taking it for about 2 days then resumed at 1.5mg for about one week, then dropped to 1mg, where I have been for about 5-6 weeks, I think (not been keeping track too carefully).

I want to stop. But I am worried. I have 8 strips mg 8mg left. But why am I still on this? Honestly, the only reason I am not tapering or just stopping is total fear of the WD smptoms I will have and the fact I can't take time from work to deal with it and also not knowing the best way to go about it really. I know that failing - getting very sick from WD would possibly be a great setback for me. So I am trying now to decide what to do. I could stay on the suboxone, I guess. But I wish I could just be me again and not tied to medication. I have lots left and, at this dose, I would not have to get refills too often, I guess, which is good as I do not have health insurance at the moment so I have to pay for all the medical treatment out of pocket, which is doable but difficult.

So what should I expect? Should I go back to a doctor and get more? Should I stop? Should I taper? How bad is this going to be? I haev read conflicting stories. The horror stories are what really scares me. I almost wish I had just done CT, but it was quite painful even getting through the WD needed for induction and I was pretty useless and miserable. That said, I have to say that getting off the pills, and having some normalcy and feeling clear headed in my life for the last 2 months has been a huge help. But will I only ever have that with this medicine- that is what I am getting afraid of.

Ideally, I would reach some point where I am not taking anything and would be ok like before the addiction. Right now, I take my 1mg each morning, and can hardly tell I am on it, so it isn't like I am getting some kind of pleasure from this. But I fear that the feeling normal I have now is going to transform into many days or weeks of pain a few days after I stop.

I know there is a chance that I may hear more horror stories about this. I hope not, but if that is what I am in for, then best I know. As I said, it is SO hard to tell as there are so many conflicting reports of people's experience, though it seems the bad ones are more common that the good stories. I guess what would help most would be if someone has some advice on my particular situation, and perhaps can tell me what is reasonable to expect, and how best to go about actually stopping taking this, that would be great. Thanks all.


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PostPosted: Sun Jul 28, 2013 6:20 pm 
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Greetings Anabel! I can relate to your fear regarding being free and clear of the sub and what that may entail but I ensure you that based on my experience and many others' experiences it's not as bad as you may think it is! This forum is the best and most realistic when it comes to any sub experience in my opinion. I was on sub for 6.5 years and I came off a few weeks ago with minimal issues. If you truly want off the sub then you can do it! If not, that's cool too. I would just like to add that I contemplated stopping for years but the fear and anxiety kept me on it. Once I stopped I thought, "Can it really be this easy?!". Though you most likely will not snap back to being completely normal in a week, you'd be surprised at how fast the brain can bounce back and how doable the process is. Just remember that everyone's experience is different and judging by how well you dropped from 8mg to 1mg as well as the short amount of time you've been on sub, jumping off may be much less taxing than you may anticipate. Also, keep in mind that the reason why all those horror stories you read on other forums are higher in volume than the good ones because most people who have good experiences coming off this med just move on with their lives and don't feel the need to share. The ones who have bad experiences feel the need to demonize sub and increase the anxiety of positive-minded people like us who read said posts. Either way, I wish you luck and keep us posted!


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PostPosted: Sun Jul 28, 2013 7:18 pm 
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Faeked, Thank you! I think that was exactly the kind of info and input I need.

I do want to stop this. Addiction, as I am sure everyone here knows, is such a terrible experience, and right now I feel pretty "normal"... I was thinking about that recently, that right now I feel like I did day to day before I had an addiction... So I want that back! To just get up each day and go about my life and not have to worry about a medicine. I am SO lucky to be healthy. There are people who have no choice - they have conditions where they must take medicine in order to be ok, and I realize how incredibly lucky I am that I don't have to have that.. I so want to go back to how I was before all this!

Thanks for the input in this. I was wondering if my case may be different, if the amount of time on suboxone would make a difference, etc.. But as I was searching for info, it got to the point where I thought, I better stop reading some of these experiences or I will never get the courage to make a go of just stopping this.

I am SO glad to hear that you got off it without too much misery. Especially if you had such a long experience with it. May I ask at what dosage you decided to stop? I had been considering cutting my dose in half for a few days then just stopping and see how that goes.

Thanks so MUCH for the input! I will post here as I progress, since I think there could be others in my boat, or a very similar situation, and reading about it can perhaps help!


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PostPosted: Sun Jul 28, 2013 7:53 pm 
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Anabel, I was all over the map with my dosage. I started out at 8mg but dropped to 4mg for a long time. Then, for a good 6 months or more last year I was at 2mg. I then jumped up to 4-6mg a day and gradually down to .25mg and up again. This cycle went on for a while because I would always ask for 2mg/day and unrealistically convince myself that would be all I would take but I would mostly take more than prescribed so I would start to run out, hence the droppage. Then I would see the doctor again and jump back up in dose. Before I jumped, however, I dropped from about 4mg to about .1mg in a month and it was pretty easy for me. Some have it rough dropping doses, others do not. Looks like you're one who has an easy time with it so I believe you'll be much better off than you think you will. Keep a positive mind though and the rest will follow :D


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PostPosted: Sun Jul 28, 2013 8:05 pm 
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THanks Faeked!

Wow, what a rollercoaster you went through! That is very interesting, actually and helpful to know. I have been as careful as I can not to exceed the 1mg per day, though it is hard to know exactly because I suppose there is no way to ever exactly cut the strips perfectly. THere have been a couple times in the beginning, when I dropped to 1mg, where I had a bad day or was in a bad mood and considered taking a little more. But it doesn't really have much affect for me - I mean not like pills did. Pills were a rollercoaster, just like you described, with running out and doses all over the place. Thankfully, with the suboxone, there isn't that daily up and down since it seems to last. I am going to be careful not to fall into that pattern, which I think is an addictive behavior - well for me it was- of reaching for the medication everytime I feel stressed or tired or less than ideal....

I So hope you are right this won't be hard. I am going to give this some thought, and I think I am goign to choose a day. A quitting day soon. I think I may try dropping to .50 for a few days and see how that goes. Then I will pick my day and just stop.

It really is encouraging actually, to hear about your story and that you got off it. I think you must be right about the scary stories and that makes sense. I mean I am hear because I am worried and still in the middle of all this, and can certainly see how once you are done with it, you might just move on... So I really appreciate that you stuck around to help me and others out!

I think I can do this. I am going to choose a day soon and build toward that day! Any advice you have, is most welcome!


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PostPosted: Mon Jul 29, 2013 10:44 am 
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I am debating making today the day... I am not sure. I haven't taken my dose yet. I feel perfectly fine. That is the thing with this stuff... You can go a LONG time without taking it and feel fine. I wonder then, does it slowly go away too? Therefore any symptoms would be mild? With pills ( Oxy) it wears off fast, and you get slammed pretty quickly qith very intense discomfort and pain. I wonder if the way this stuff works, in that it sticks around so long, maybe it gradually goes away and therefore it isn't so bad... What am I talking about? I am not doctor or scientist.. WIshful thinking I guess...

Not really sure if I should maybe taper somewhat, like cut the dose to .5mg. 1mg seems small to me, but then again, I am comparing it to the pills, in which 1mg would have zero effect, whereas 1mg of suboxone is quite strong.

I am debating this too much. I must not be quite ready. Just nervous about the discomfort, but will try to keep a positive attitude. Ok, I have decided. I am going to taper this and take half the dose today and see how I go then pick a day...

Wish me luck!


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PostPosted: Mon Jul 29, 2013 11:08 am 
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Hi Anabel. It does get confusing at times doesn't it? I tried to jump from 2mg many times and that never worked for me. I made the decision to taper further as low as I can get and then make the final jump. Today is my 2nd day on less than 2mg. I reduced by only .063mg which is a very tiny amount. So far I am feeling ok. I'm going to stay here 4-7 days and reduce again. That's MY plan anyway.

I wish you the vesy best in the way you decide to get off this stuff. I'll follow your progress and see how you do. You have my full support. Take care and hang in there.

Karen


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PostPosted: Mon Jul 29, 2013 11:14 am 
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Thank you Brown Eyed Girl! Maybe I will try that... Reducing in increments. I just took half my regular dose, but think maybe I should take another quarter of that dose, so I would have reduced it by less. I think a lot of this is psychological, and for me the hardest part is the fear of feeling seriously ill... So even though it is a tiny amount, I can just see me imagining I am getting sick and then convinced I am sick and then right back to the whole dose. Maybe I will try your method, since it isn't a race anyway. I was addicted for a year and did nothing about it, now that I am doing something about it, a few days is not going to make a difference I think... better to not freak myself out about it by rushing...

Thanks for the support! Right back at you! Have to stick together on this I guess.. It is odd, I never posted on a forum like this before. I have left comments on articles and things like that, but never joined a community. I am really thankful it exists because, as I am sure many can say the same, I don't have anyone in my life going through this or who know much about getting through something like this.

Update on how you go! Fun to think I have partners in all this stuff!


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PostPosted: Mon Jul 29, 2013 12:25 pm 
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Always happy to help any way I can Anabel. I'm certainly no kind of expert on this stuff, only know how to use it for a long period of time. lol. I have a few friends that have gotten clean now for over 3 years from Suboxone and they all tapered as low as they could get before jumping. I thought I could jump and be done with it at the 2mg dose I was on and quickly found out different.

I've been reading all the posts I can here and there are several different methods of tapering it seems. And what works for one person may not necessarily work for another one.

The Suboxone/Subutex is a strong, strong drug. I guess it's like any other drug too in that they should all be tapered down to get safely off them. It's funny too because I could NEVER taper from any of the pills I was taking...if I had them I would gobble them all down right away. But somehow tapering from the Suboxone seems to be easier and it really makes no sense?

So I made the decision to taper by as little as I can every 4 to 7 days and see what happens. If I'm feeling good after 4 days I will reduce again. If not then I will wait another day or two and then reduce. As you said, it's no race and all I have to do is finsish this. Really doesn't matter HOW I get clean. All that really matters is that I do it!

I will keep posting updates on my thread for you and anyone else that is following to read each day. I've never posted on any of these "forums" either and it sure is nice to have a place like this to get all your thoughts and concerns out. Many helpful people here it seems. Anyway I'm here if you need me Anabel.

Karen


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PostPosted: Mon Jul 29, 2013 7:11 pm 
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Thanks Karen! You are great!

I agree it is helpful to have a place to talk about this. Each morning I get up and take my medicine, and feel like I have this battle I am in and can't really talk to anyone about it. No one knows. But even if they did, I don't really know anbody who has had an addiction, so not sure if anyone would have advice, or could really relate to it. Not to say I don't have supportive people around me, and I know everyone has been through rough times, but addiction has its own unique nastiness to it, so it is good there is a place where others going through the same thing are there to hear from and talk to.

Sounds like you have a good plan! I imagine that must certainly work. Well, if you are like me it should. For me the fear of withdrawal really is the only thing keeping me on this right now. That may sound silly, and I do know that there is no magic way out of this, and I will experience discomfort, but some of the instances of withdrawal I had when on those pills really has me a bit shell shocked, so I want to make this as easy on myself as I can. I want to try to get as enthusiastic and ready and healthy as possible, and get the dose to a low level ( maybe .5mg) then stop. I know i can do this. I lived my whole life without addiction, except for the last year, so I know I can go back to it... just have to keep at this and keep my resolve!

I think you are probably right too that it is different for everyone. When I went from 8mg to 1.5mg I felt a LOT better, but I have read that for many people that would be far too big a step down at once.

I am pretty new to all of this actually. I have only been on suboxone for about 2 months, so am not sure what to expect at all really. I stopped seeing the doctor who gave it to me, as she wanted me to be at a very high dose and talked about many many months of this. The initial dose was really far too much for me, and I am much more comfortable at the 1mg level, so I think I should be able to stop this, I HOPE, on my own. If not, I will go back to the doctor, I guess. But I want to try as I don't really want to make a lifestyle of this. I understand that for a lot of people that helps, and it is needed, but I am just SO eager to be my old self... Well, if not my old self, then just to be free of denedence and addiction.

Thanks for posting! Perhaps I will go read other threads now and check out yours too!

Hang in there and thanks so much!


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PostPosted: Mon Jul 29, 2013 9:02 pm 
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Hello all,

I just read a thread that stated a SLOW taper is the way to go.. I see that Karen is stepping down slowly. I have enough suboxone that I can really do this slowly. But I really don't know what to do here. Today I cut my dose of 1mg ( which I had been taking for about 6 weeks) to .75mg. I think I feel ok, but it takes a while, I am told on this medication to really feel anything. I had considered dropping to .5 but am glad I did not, having read a bit about this.

I SO don't want to fail at this. I will do it as slowly as needed. I really have no idea and until I came here was just playing it by ear. I started a couple months ago at a super high dose, but only was on that for 2 doeses ( with a skipped day in between) and didn't feel ok at that dose... So just chose a random small amount and that seemed to feel ok for me...

I don't want to just stop. I had considered that, but read some stuff that said it is a bad idea.

I know everyone is different and there isn't some magic solution, but if anyone knows how I should taper this, input is very welcome.


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PostPosted: Mon Jul 29, 2013 9:41 pm 
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It seems that everyone has their own taper method but you can easily go to the top of the Stopping Sub forum (where you are posting) and see some examples. I much like you came down to 1mg (leveled off a while), .75 (leveled off), .5mg (leveled off), and finally .25mg and help for a while. Felt good and jumped. The biggest difference for me than what I read is that during my step down I felt nothing, I can honestly say that I felt the same as when I was at 1mg. Knowing that now I would have tapered down lower as you can read my post. I have made it but still have some annoyances. Total acute withdrawal was 6 days (2-8) but I started to feel it on day 1.


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PostPosted: Tue Jul 30, 2013 9:50 am 
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Hi Anabel. I'm just checking on you to see how your feeling today? When you get the time please jump on here and let us know how your doing. I'm feeling great today on my 1.93mg dose. It's my 3rd day on this dose and if I feel as good after tomorrow I may reduce again the next day.

I honestly believe that taking it slow when you get down to 2mg and under is the way to go. Lots of others jumped from higher doses and made it fine it seems, but I know I couldn't jump from 2mg so tapering lower is the ONLY thing left for me to do. And it seems to be working just fine right now.

Just wanted to make sure you knew I will support you Anabel no matter what you decide to do. Hopefully we both can celebrate real soon being clean? That would be awesome huh?

Talk to you later and have a great day!

Karen :D


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PostPosted: Tue Jul 30, 2013 10:08 am 
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Hi Karen,

Thanks for "checking" on me! Wow, that is so nice! I am sure you know how hard and isolating addiction can be, so it makes me feel better not to be in it alone!

So far so good with the taper. I don't feel any different yet. Well, I woke up a little achy today, but I don't attribute that to the taper as much as to perhaps not getting enough sleep and had a lot of activity yesterday. So I am going to stick with the .75 for now and continue to see how I go. I am also going to try to figure out a way to do this super slowly, since as you say and as many seem to think that is the way to go. I won't taper this again till I feel ready. Probably not for 3 or 4 days just to be certain I am totally ok at this level.

I am SO glad you are doing well too! I checked out your thread. Odd amount of arguing from some folks on there! You handle it very well though!

Ok, going to head in to work... SO glad I have a job that I can start late in the day when I need too!

Will post later.


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PostPosted: Tue Jul 30, 2013 10:11 am 
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DBMB wrote:
It seems that everyone has their own taper method but you can easily go to the top of the Stopping Sub forum (where you are posting) and see some examples. I much like you came down to 1mg (leveled off a while), .75 (leveled off), .5mg (leveled off), and finally .25mg and help for a while. Felt good and jumped. The biggest difference for me than what I read is that during my step down I felt nothing, I can honestly say that I felt the same as when I was at 1mg. Knowing that now I would have tapered down lower as you can read my post. I have made it but still have some annoyances. Total acute withdrawal was 6 days (2-8) but I started to feel it on day 1.


THanks... I am trying to come up with a plan, so all the experience and info I get helps, since I really have no idea about this stuff!

Glad you managed it too! I like the success stories!! I think I will be ok with "some annoyances" just don't want to get so ill I can't function, as would happen when I ran out of pills. I would not wish that on anyone! But sounds like I should be ok with this, I hope!


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PostPosted: Tue Jul 30, 2013 10:28 am 
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Of course your not alone here Anabel. And I do know how it feels. That's why I decided to join here after reading along for a while. I needed the advice and support of others, and also a place to put my thoughts down and vent if I needed to do so. It really helps to get things out, and to also use our threads as a type of "journal" to keep track of our progress. Yep, glad I'm here and very happy you are too! :)

Yeah, there was an attempt to argue but I have no desire to get into any of that stuff. I need positive thoughts, support, and reinforcement, not any kind of negative comments. I've already had plenty of negative stuff in my life and certainly don't need any more of it. Especially right now as I need to put all my concentration towards my taper.

Glad your doing well and thanks for letting me know right away too! Have a great day at work. I work from home so I am REALLY lucky and blessed to be able to do that. I'll talk to you later Anabel.

Karen


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PostPosted: Tue Jul 30, 2013 10:29 am 
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Hello again all, As someone said to me here, I just read a comment elsewhere that the longer I am on suboxone, the harder it will be to get off. There was actually an angry post I read as I suppose some folks have really strong feelings about this medication. I don't know - haven't been on it long enough to develop strong feelings about it and the addiction was so life destroying ( the pills) that right now, even though I am still on suboxone, having my life back without having been drastically ill for a prolonged period or missing work, and not being depserate and scared every day about my pill supply, has made me a fan of the stuff - though I have to confess I am also scared, as I know I have to get off this too.

So I guess I am at about 8-9 weeks on this. I haven't been keeping track. If what that person said is true, then why would my doctor have wanted me to be on this medication almost as long as I was addicted to the pills? That (and the costs involved) were what really scared me and made me decide I cannot do that. Also the amount I was originally put on was way too much, in terms of how I felt, but there seemed inflexibility on that topic. So I am on my own.

2 months isn't a long time, right? Well, if that is in fact true, then it is more motivation for me to get this under control soon.. though I won't rush. I wonder why time would make any difference. It seems that is anecdotal, and though I have looked, I can't find any information about that from studies and even doctors seem to have all sorts of diferent opinions.

That said, I have come accross a lot of stories of people who have been on this medicine for years and managed to get off of it, so my 2 months of so should not be too much. I read on this forum the suggestion that people should be put on it then get off in just a few weeks. That seems like a great idea, but there is something to having some "normal" time to just feel ok after a period of addiction... It is all so confusing... Anyway, thanks to everyone who is with me on this and posting elsewhere too! I would have just kept up on the 1mg without some guidance and help I think. OK, off to work now.


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PostPosted: Tue Jul 30, 2013 10:35 am 
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Brown Eyed Girl wrote:
Of course your not alone here Anabel. And I do know how it feels. That's why I decided to join here after reading along for a while. I needed the advice and support of others, and also a place to put my thoughts down and vent if I needed to do so. It really helps to get things out, and to also use our threads as a type of "journal" to keep track of our progress. Yep, glad I'm here and very happy you are too! :)

Yeah, there was an attempt to argue but I have no desire to get into any of that stuff. I need positive thoughts, support, and reinforcement, not any kind of negative comments. I've already had plenty of negative stuff in my life and certainly don't need any more of it. Especially right now as I need to put all my concentration towards my taper.

Glad your doing well and thanks for letting me know right away too! Have a great day at work. I work from home so I am REALLY lucky and blessed to be able to do that. I'll talk to you later Anabel.

Karen


Hi KAren,

Wow, that is SO weird. YOu strike me as a really positive and compassionate person. I can't imagine why someone would want to strike up some pointless argument like that with a stranger trying to deal with an addiction. I guess it is part of internet world. It is anonymous, and so some folks take things too seriously, or are perhaps too free in expressing themselves - not as tactful as they would be with a real person.

You really are right about the positive stuff. LAst night a little thing happened - nothing terrible, just a tiny encounter with a friend that kind of got me down ( just normal stuff, you know- nothing big) and i could tell how bad that would be to my getting through this. It is really important, at least for me, to not get down, pessimistic, unhappy... Not that life is a bed of roses, but getting through this is hard enough, and I think it is easy to get derailed with unhappiness. So, Karen, ignore that stuff please! You don't deserve that and are doing great. You wouldn't be here if you were eager to deal with this... and even if you weren't, you will eventually, and I think talking about it helps... you certainly have helped me..

Ok, NO MORE procrastinating.. I erally will go to work now.


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PostPosted: Tue Jul 30, 2013 11:38 am 
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I sent you a PM just now Anabel. I didn't even know there was a feature until another member sent me one. If you go up to the top of the page to the left of where your name/log in/log out is you will see if you have a private message from someone. It should show you have one from me now.

Karen


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PostPosted: Tue Jul 30, 2013 10:27 pm 
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Brown Eyed Girl wrote:
I sent you a PM just now Anabel. I didn't even know there was a feature until another member sent me one. If you go up to the top of the page to the left of where your name/log in/log out is you will see if you have a private message from someone. It should show you have one from me now.

Karen


Hi Karen,

Thanks! I tried to reply, but not sure if it went through as it is in my outbox and not my sent box... Sorry - new to this system, so not sure if I did that right. Perhaps it wil get sent to you shortly. In any case though, I wanted to say now thanks so much for being so supportive! It helps a lot! I will check tomorrow and see if the message went through and will post here as well to update on my sub situation.

Anabel


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