Thu May 13, 2010 8:17 pm
Congratulations on the birth of your baby! Sorry things aren't going more smoothly for you. All I can do is give you an educated guess on what's going on with the testing that's being done on the baby.
It is not terribly uncommon for the doctor to order a drug screen on the baby's stool (meconium.) Meconium is the first stool that passes from the newborn in the first hours and days of baby's life. Meconium has been present in the fetal intestinal tract from about the half-way point of pregnancy on. This is why it is a more reliable test than using the baby's urine. Meconium will show any drugs ingested by the mother from about the 20th week of pregnancy until the end of the pregnancy.
In my experience, this test was ordered under certain circumstances, such as when the mother had not received any prenatal care, when the mother reported a history of drug abuse and when the baby was exhibiting symptoms of withdrawal. Since your history of drug use is documented, you shouldn't have anything to worry about. You have done nothing wrong or illegal by taking medications that were prescribed for you and that your OB knows full-well about. You haven't done anything deceptive. So I would try not to worry along those lines.
Most likely they are just trying to get to the bottom of your baby's symptoms. As I'm sure you're aware, as are the baby's doctors (hopefully), there is a possibility of NAS with buprenorphine use, although it is my understanding that it is far less likely or severe as with Methadone. The doctor just needs to know what he's dealing with in order to treat baby appropriately. When the test comes back and shows that your baby is not suffering effects of something you took during pregnancy that you weren't supposed to take, they will see that and know they have ruled that out.
That's what I'm thinking anyway.....and hoping. Surely they're not going to run you through the wringer like they did with StudentRN recently.
Here's the other thing though......I've participated in hundreds and hundreds of deliveries. Some babies are fussier than others. Some have high-pitched cries. Some are more jittery than others. All these things are so open to interpretation. I hope it's not NAS. You were taking a minimal amount of Subutex and I just can't imagine that baby could be in horrible withdrawal. I never worked Newborn Nursery or NICU though so I can't speak much to all that. These are just my thoughts. In any case, I believe your baby will be fine. You haven't done anything wrong. You've been very conscientious about that baby over these several weeks you've been posting. And you've done everything you could to get the baby here safely. Try not to stress too much and try to believe the best about everything. I'll say a prayer for you and baby. Keep asking questions about the baby's plan of care and participate fully....that is your right!
Hang in there!
Thu May 13, 2010 8:27 pm
To be honest I did do other drugs at that point before I seeked help, I did smoke pot twice and did coke twice, so I desevere everything they give to me, I had a problem, I seeked help with the sub dr. I did these other two drugs twice so I am not even sure they are in the poo, so I should be shot and killed right now. It isn't that I am worried about the percocet use, it is the other two and the sad thing is I knew I was preggo when I did them so if they take the baby, it is my fault so I told the sub dr I did this and he said it was best to go on the subutex to prevent any further drug use of any kind. So there that is the truth, so I suck but I love her so much and now what is going to happen. So go ahead and tell me how I deserve this. I had a problem, I seeked help with the sub dr before it went to far and now look, they are more then likely going to see that. So what do I did. Will it be there??? The sub dr said that test only goes back to 30 days. Everythign else I had a scrpit for, now they are going to think I was on coke the whole time or pot and I wasn't so what do i do now.
Thu May 13, 2010 8:29 pm
I am so ashamed to admit what I did, I haven't told them anything about that and you know, i am still at the hospital and I don't know when the test will come back. And if it is there I will more then likely have a hard time taking her home. They can blood test me or anythign they want to. I did it around the 18-20 week mark. I have keep this a sercet from every one, so there how terrible am I to do that to a baby that doesn't have a choice. What kind of person am i.
Thu May 13, 2010 9:42 pm
Kris, please don't say "I should be shot and killed right now". Everything you're going through now is more than punishment enough for what you've done. The reason we're addicts is because we have an uncontrollable compulsion to use drugs. You sought help, you stopped using all of the substances and you finally told the truth about everything. There's nothing more you can do. If you only did pot and coke twice it probably won't even show up. The important thing now is that you hold it together, get back on your Sub, stay in recovery and stay clean and sober so you can be a good Mom for your baby. I think you're going to be OK. You can't change anything that's already been done. Just keep moving forward and do the best you can for your precious new baby.
Thu May 13, 2010 10:32 pm
Oh Kris....Everything will be alright. I agree with what Lilly said. There's a good chance that a couple of isolated uses of marijuana and cocaine all those weeks ago won't even show up. And you definitely do NOT deserve to be shot. You did seek help and you've been working hard to get better. This is not easy. Lilly is also so very right when she says that as addicts, this is what we do. We do sometimes deplorable things we would never, ever want to do because of the obsession to use drugs. It is not within our control when we're in active addiction. The things I did while in that active addiction absolutely haunt me and fill me with such guilt and shame that it's almost paralyzing at times. I can't even comprehend that I did it now that I'm not using anymore. So please do not let this eat you up.
As you said, they can test you now and see that you're not using illicit drugs anymore. If something does show up in the baby's test, they'll probably send a social worker to see you to verify that you're on the right path and that the baby is safe to go home with you. There may be more involved, but ultimately they just have to make sure that the baby will be taken care of and that you're improving your life and making good choices now. There's nothing you can do about what's already been done. You were sick and confused and not able to think clearly......But now you are. And they will see that.
It seems very obvious that you love this baby and you want her. And you want to be a good mother. And you can be. You've already started! Try not to let this deter you from continuing on in your recovery. Your hormones are going crazy right now and all that is normal. You're going to be very emotional for a while now and there's nothing more emotional than having a new baby and all that goes along with that. Draw support from your loved ones and from us. We're all pulling for you. Shake off the shame and hold your head high knowing that you've been doing a good job fighting this demon called addiction. You're doing the best you can.....just keep doing it! You'll be okay and so will your little one.
Fri May 14, 2010 1:32 am
They would be keeping your baby for NAS from the sub for 72 hours anyway, so nothing can prevent that. Just try and stay involved in his care and keep track of his scores and yes unfortunately CPS will be visiting you. The lady I had was very nice and explained everything to me. You are not horrible. The CPS worker told me of horrible stories..she will do a home check to see if your house has essential baby supplies...if right now you don't have a lot don't worry. She told me that the baby could sleep in a dresser drawer if that was all that was all you could afford at the moment.then I can't tell you what will happen after that though, because my blood test came back as a false positive for benzo's, which is why she was involved in the first place and the case was closed. They will get involved if you basically test positive for anything on a typical drug screen. Your worker will have seen much worse, mother's living in crack houses..etc. The farthest that I got With her was that she told me I would have to go to the health clinic to be evaluated just to see what the best plan was: meetings, counseling but gave me a few weeks to set that up. And I think she said a home nurse would come check on the baby a week after he was home, but in your situation, they will probably want the baby to see his pediatrician one week after leaving the hospital, so make sure to get on that..The nurses can give you a list.
God has given you a blessing, and he would not give you anything you couldn't handle. Just be the best mom you are and that is all we can all do.
Fri May 14, 2010 8:28 am
I don't think that is going to show up on the test. Also, most doctors say anything in moderation is ok for babies. Although I don't condone the use of cocaine while pregnant, I also have to say that doing coke a couple of times during a pregnancy probably wouldn't hurt the baby either. The pot I am totally not concerned about because my sisters doctor told her she COULD smoke pot during pregnancy so long as it was infrequent. Moderation, moderation, moderation. So you made a mistake and it sucks but clearly your new baby has ten fingers and ten toes and so far nothing you did actually impacted her negatively so far as we know. That is what is most important.
I once knew a woman who had 5 kids on crack and she got to keep all of them. CPS made regular visits to her home but she got to keep them. They aren't taking the baby away. They might keep her a while, but they aren't taking her away. Keep us posted on how things are going.
Fri May 14, 2010 9:41 am
I was released today but they are letting me board at the hospital. I have no insurance on her at the moment and trying to get FAMIS. The lady said my income is ok to get it she just needs something faxed to her from work. I am trying to get a hold of them today and see if they can print out my time sheet and fax it to her for me.
The baby did better last night. She is very fussy, she like it quite and dark room, so that is what they say. She is feeding much better. They won't let me breastfeed like I wanted to. They said it is bad for her and will prolong her stay. I am on Limtical again which is a class C med, along with nuertion Class C, and will be going back on the sub. So they said it is not a good idea and that I am better to be healthy on the meds I need then to go off them. The dr said that if she gains weight today and has good scores today and tonite, that she can go home in the morning. We will see. I can't board here more then one night because I have to get my two year old.
The baby is super fussy and I am worried about handling it at home with her and the 2 year old. I guess she may be going through some NAS but not to bad. The worst part about all this is that I had to come clean to my boyfriend and my family about the sub and pain pill use. My boyfriend isn't all that wonderful to begin with and won't be much help at home, he said he would leave if she cryed all the time, i say let him go - that may actually help my stress level if he were out. She has the same temperment as my son I think/
Question: If she is going through NAS and that is why she i so fussy, could she be a different baby next week? Could she become more clam??? She is better today then ever.
When should I go back on the sub. The dr gave me 25 percocets to get filled but I really don't think I need them. I go to sub dr at 2:45pm today. I will consult with him as to what to do. My anxiety levell is out the house right now and I just want to be all there to be able to handle a crying infant and a two year old
Fri May 14, 2010 12:08 pm
Frist of all I want to say Congratulations for you new babay girl. Do you have a name picked out for her yet?
It sounds like things at the hospital are better today, and that you should not have any trouble taking your daughter home when she gains a little weight. have the tests results come back yet from the baby?
It probably is a good thing that you had to come clean with your boyfriend and family about the opiates and the fact that you are on sub again. I think the less stress you are under right now the better, and keeping secrets is always stressful. It does not sound like your boyfriend is going to be a lot of help with your newborn. How was he with the first baby? I'm really sorry about that, you really need all the support you can get right now.
If I were you I would get back on the sub as soon as you can. The sooner you get stable on your sub, the better, one less thing to worry about. I think the most important thing for you right now is to do everything you can to keep your stress levels down. The calmer you are, the calmer your baby will be. Do you have a family member that can help out a little while until you get your routines with the baby and your two year old settled? If you buyfriend is not going to be helpful, then i think you are right, you do not need him around. it would be nice though to have someone there that can help you out. Could you go and stay with your parents for a while?
I'm glad you are seeing your sub doctor today. Maybe he can help you with some support/therapy.
Try and relax, everything is going to be okay. It really is true that the less stressed you are, and the clamer you are, the calmer the baby will be. Don't be in a hurry to get her home, let the hospital look after her for as long as they will. I know you want her home, but I think it's important that you get back on sub and feel stable first.
Take care of yourself, and keep in touch with us. You have our support, as always,
Fri May 14, 2010 2:39 pm
I just dosed with sub, i am going to do 2mg at first and then do another 2mg later. I did take some percocet at 4am but at this monment I feel nothing from it and don't expect to get any time of withdrawel, I would rather feel the effects of the sub because it calms me. I am having high anxiety and the baby is with me tonite and I am alone with her in the hospital room, nothing like home you know. I wish it were morning and we were gone, I filled the perocoet scrpit but you know, I dont' even want to look at the stupid pills, I thought about taking about four or five of them at one time but that isn't going to help at all. It will only make things worse I expect the sub will calm me in about ten min or so, or less. I am off the the sub dr and when I get back to the hospital I have the baby in the room with me. She is very fussy today, I am goign to get different forum
Fri May 14, 2010 3:25 pm
I don't have much to add, but I did want to offer my congratulations on the birth of your child. And you also have my support for what you are dealing with. Hang in there
Sat May 15, 2010 11:44 am
Hi there!~ Congrats on the birth of your daughter! Well, it's Sat morning and I hope you haven't posted cause you are busy at home with your newborn baby girl. Please keep us posted. Just wanted you to know that you and your baby are in my thoughts and prayers!
Sat May 15, 2010 12:20 pm
I'm so sorry you are going through this Kris, I really hope that you got to take her home this morning. This is my worst nightmare. I dont know if you will have time but if you do could you tell me the story of what happened? Like when did they take her away, right after birth? Did you get to see her? and how long did they keep her in the NICU?
Im sorry Im just getting more scared reading these posts, I have been clean for 2+ years but reading everything on here it looks like CPS will be involved anyway and force me to go into a program or something..
Sat May 15, 2010 1:02 pm
Well the dr did not release her today because she has almost lost 10% of her body weight. I stayed there yesterday and last night and she cried so much. It was very hard to console her. It seems like I was the only one that was able to quite her and that was on my chest.
She is sucking better on the bottle and is eating. She doesn't have a runny nose, or shakes or anything like that. They say she has excess sucking but I don't see it. I think she has a tummy issue. Is it possible that she doesnt like the forumla. I talked with the dr this morning and told her I was taking the seroquel and he said babies can withdrawel from that. I took that the last three months and did with my son and she is acting just like him excat same so I wonder if he withdrawel from that med. She cries all the time so is it best she stay for now???? Other then the crying and no weight gain she is fine. He stools are a bit loose and when she goes she doesn't go a lot of the time. He scorecs are a little high but haven't been over eight - the last four have six have been 0 5 2 6 7 7, yesterday was the worse I have seen her cry and this morning as well. She is four days today what do you think
Sat May 15, 2010 2:24 pm
I feel so bad for you guys who've had to go through this. Who the heck really can know whether the way this baby is acting is because of withdrawal or intestinal gas or the need for bonding or what?!?! My last baby was born over 15 years ago.....I didn't even take a friggin Tylenol with any of my pregnancies.....nothing at all....literally! Now my last baby was an emergency C/Section, pretty much a disaster. As my OB said...."that baby had her bags packed...she was checking out." If we had not been in a hospital that was equipped to resuscitate her appropriately, she wouldn't have made it, or at the least would have had long-term impairments. Anyway....she went straight to NICU, was put on a ventilator, actually extubated herself a couple of days later and started getting better. She was a fussy, screamin', inconsolible 9 1/2 pound mess! She sucked hard too. And she lost weight too (it's actually quite uncommon for a neonate to not lose some weight initially.) All I'm getting at is that all these things were completely unrelated to drug withdrawal! I didn't use drugs! There are so many things that can cause a baby to act like that. Maybe she's hungry. Maybe it is the formula. Maybe she needs to be with her mommy more and be held more. Geezzz....how frustrating!
Just hang in there. She'll start gaining weight and they'll let her go home......very soon I hope. Her little countenance will probably change soon too. She may turn out to be the most peaceful lil thing ever once you get her home. You said she already calms down better for you than anyone else. That's because she can feel that you love her and she knows you're her mommy! You know? It just blows my mind that because you've abused drugs, even though you're now doing all the things you're supposed to.....these people are still piling guilt on you and blaming your drug use for behaviors that can be completely NORMAL for any other baby in the world! Good grief!!
Sat May 15, 2010 3:40 pm
Hi Kris - I agree with setmefree. Just be with your baby as much as you can, hold her and love her as much as you can. Soon she'll calm down more easily, and you'll be at home with her where you will both be more peaceful. Stay strong, don't let anyone make you feel bad about yourself. You're going to be a good mother to her and your other child. I know you must be frustrated as hell, but you're getting back on the Sub and taking control of your life! Hang in there. We're all here cheering you on.
Sun May 16, 2010 9:01 pm
The baby is still in the hosptail the dr said if I can stay the night too and to stay there as long as I could all her scores today were under 3, mostly 0 because she sleep all day. I see no reason why she can't come home. I have a certain formula I want to give her the same one that my son was on. The stupid dr didn't let her go because she cryed all night last night. My son acted the same way and I didn't do anything. I wish he would just let her go but the nurses and staff are being very nice. She is fine, they are keeping her because she is fussy, so what she has colic I bet because my other two did. I am going to make it a point to be at the hospital, i asked the dr when she will come home and he said it depends on her mood, wtf does that mean, babies have all kinds of moods. I want her home where I am more comfortalbe, but I also want to make sure that she is ok too. She has loose stools but there again is that the formula, is she colic, she is eating but she is losing weight, but they all do that the first week. Lets hope she gains weight tonight. They want her to come home with me. Now what do I do???? Do I try to get her out or trust the dr. I haven't heard any more on the crap test. They are keeping the room open for me so that I can care for her when I come. They don't even charge for it.
The boyfirend is a real fucking ass hole and not supportive at all. He walked out on us at the hosptial because she was crying, he called her a drug addict baby, said she may be retarded and I told him he was and he left. I came home from the hospital and he didn't say anything. There is two teenages in this house and him and none of them cleaned the house for me and only one has been nice and that is his son. My daughter, 14, is and she is being an ass to me too.
Sun May 16, 2010 9:28 pm
Kris I'm sorry they haven't let you take her home yet.
I'm also sorry you are going through that with your boyfriend. But I can see why he would be so angry as you never told him about the suboxone or drugs. He is not handling it in the right way at all but I think he would have been much more supportive if this didn't just hit him out of the blue. I hope everything works out and you get to bring your baby home soon.
Sun May 16, 2010 11:08 pm
No, he knew I was taking it. I think most misunderstood. He didn't know I took it for more then two weeks, he actually took a couple of the pills, I know I am not supposed to do that. He has never been there for me really. He walked out twice on me in the hospital because the baby was crying. He said if she come home crying like that he is leaving, so you see the type of person I am dealing with. He knew I was on the percocet just not that I was taking a lot of it, he knew I took it. He called me a mother fucker this evening and hasn't talked to me. He is hateful and mean and hasn't even stayed at the hospital with me and his baby for more then 20 min at a time, so I don't think he deserves any oh poor ray lol. I just had surgery and he is treating me like trash. He won't even come to see her.
Anyway, I want to take her home. I don't think they will let her go tomorrow either. She has lost over 10% of her body weight she was 7.8 and now 6.10, but her rate of losing weight has slowed - GREAT SIGN. Justagirl do you think she will be ok soon???
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