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PostPosted: Mon Jul 26, 2010 8:04 pm 
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I JUST joined this group. Hi.
I'm going to try to keep this as short as possible but I do need to say this: while reading what I'm about to write, DO NOT tell me to leave him. I'm not here for relationship advice... I can get that in another forum.
Sorry to start that off on a nasty note. Here's my story:

My boyfriend became increasingly depressed during a custody battle and the end result was he started using percosets. While on them, he was wonderful (I did not know he was on them at the time), but when he wasn't on them, he became violent and emotionally abusive. It wasn't until I got a black eye and a trip to the ER that I realized that he was seriously addicted to Percs. I left and he began going to rehab and getting therapy for treatment. This led him to his current Dr. and suboxone. At first, it seemed like a wonder drug. I had my best friend back and the guy that used common sense and had patience. But he never had money.
He's been on suboxone for over 2 years now. He recently walked out on his job and that has left me paying about $600/ month for his suboxone. I don't understand why he needs it anymore and why his Dr. would have him on it for SO long. Plus, the withdraw symptoms are just as bad as percosets. He gets unreasonable, screams at me, calls me nasty names, and on a few occassions has gotten violent. I'm also 7 months pregnant. I can't afford his suboxone anymore and he knows this and says he feels bad that I'm paying for it. I don't expect him to quit cold turkey. I tried convincing him to take one pill a day and if he felt he needed it, take a half a pill later in the day (he usually takes 16mg/day). He does go to one pill a day and everything seems ok for about 2 days and then he becomes a jerk again. I try to offer him a half a pill but he flips out and the only thing that he says works is to have the whole second pill.
I'm suppose to go with him to the Dr. in a few days to discuss him coming off of suboxone. But if he won't even cut to 1 1/2 pills a day, how hard is it going to be for him to taper off???
I guess what I need to know is, what am I in for? Is the withdrawal horrible? or is there an easy way for him to get off suboxone? Are there alternatives? I don't care about him taking it, I just can't afford it. Do I need to leave the country for a few weeks until he's fully through the addiction? And why was suboxone a better answer then him cutting off the percosets? Truthfullly, the percosets were less money!
I'd appreciate any advice. I really can't deal with the ups and downs anymore, especially not while I'm pregnant.
Thank you all, and I sincerely wish each of you the best of luck!


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PostPosted: Mon Jul 26, 2010 8:29 pm 
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Hello and welcome. I will let some of the other members explain why or why not suboxone is needed long term. I am sort of short on time at the moment. Myself, I've been on for 6 1/2 years and prob. forever.

I hope I am not crossing a line by saying this. IMO your biggest concern should be his temper and violent behavior. I wittnessed abuse growing up and it turns my stomach. I am an extremely tolerant person. Your a drug addict, been to jail, robbed a bank, whatever the case I don't judge. Hitting a woman on the other hand is inexusable to me. If you were my sister or friend I would tell you to run for the hills. I would never recommend that to someone on a forum but please look out for your self and your baby. Maybe seek some counseling for you and why you forgive such behavior. Again, this may be out of line but I had to say it. Please take care.


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PostPosted: Mon Jul 26, 2010 8:41 pm 
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Thank you for your respsonse. Believe me, this is a fight I have everyday with myself.

I still need my other questions answered, but you do make me question sometihng else:
Isn't the temper and violence a symptom of withdrawal? I've never been with an addict, so I just assumed that him being so angry and aggressive was just a withdraw thing.

The ironic thing here is I'd love to go into counseling, but I can't afford it. I really can't. I've tried every possible way.


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PostPosted: Mon Jul 26, 2010 9:01 pm 
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His temper and violence has nothing to do with the drugs or withdrawals. He needs to own that.
As for getting off the sub, it can be done with minimal withdrawals. That would require a long and slow taper into the micrograms before jumping off. There are many threads here that can probably help you, including the liquefied taper.

Two years is not a long time to be on suboxone. Many people are on long-term treatment with sub, myself included. It doesn't cure addiction, but rather is a tool that puts us into addiction remission while we build an overall healthy recovery plan in our life. That includes learning how to cope with life without taking pills.

He should be fine taking one pill per day because of the long half-life and the fact that he can't do that tells me he's probably not ready to get off them yet.

I'm sorry, I'm short on time, too, our meeting is about to start. I know you said you don't want relationship advice, but I can't end this without saying one more thing. I've worked with victims of domestic violence as well as offenders. They don't just stop the violence. The only way to ensure your and your child's safety is to leave. I'm sorry, I know you don't want to hear this.

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-As I have grown older, I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.

-I'm only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand.


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PostPosted: Mon Jul 26, 2010 9:12 pm 
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Hi, I'm new here too, but I wanted to reply after reading your note. I know ou'll get good replies from those on this site. Suboxone is different than the percocets that your friend was taking in that the suboxone helps to control the cravings for opioids that the addicted person feels.

There is a generic form of subutex whch is cheaper, but still not cheap. It doesn't have one ingredient that suboxone has. That ingredient makes injecting the drug difficult, to stop people from shooting up. If his doctor feels it is safe, he could substitute that for the suboxone.

I'm sorry that you're going through all this while pregnant. Please take care of yourself and your baby. :)


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PostPosted: Mon Jul 26, 2010 11:22 pm 
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Good point. Subutex is cheaper and a good alternative when finances are involved. My insurance changed last month and I was not sure if the new policy would cover suboxone. My doc said he would switch me to subutex if that was the case. Turns out I am covered but it was good to know my doc would work with me. It depends on the doctor he is seeing and if he feels comfortable scripting subutex. Some doctors are wierd about that because of the abuse risk. It's worth asking as it could probably cut the cost in half.

Hatmaker made a valid point in that we need to rebuild and learn while we are on suboxone. It gives us time to go to counseling or meetings or whatever. We are so lucky because we don't have to deal with the constant cravings and the depression that follows coming off opiates. Like she said, we need to learn how to deal with problems without turning to abusing drugs. It gives us time to rebuild relationships (personal and professional) and get our legal and financial problems under control. My point is suboxone alone (without the change and hard work) will not get us very far. I've seen many get the opportunity to get on suboxone and do nothing else. 9 times out of 10 they don't make it very long. Seems to me, from your post, your boyfriend is going backwards not forward. Loosing his job and ruining his relationship with you, those are things if working some sort of recovery program start to get repaired by this point, not damaged more. That is why so many doctors insist on meetings or counseling. As much as some of us disagree with that, they do it for a reason.

I'm sorry before for comenting on your relationship. That's a hard thing for many of us to ignore. Many addicts I know, including myself, were the victims of an abusive up bringing or relationship. Please keep that in mind when raising your baby. Witnessing abuse at a young age stays with us and effects us for life. You should have two concerns right now, what's best for you and your baby. Please take care.


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PostPosted: Tue Jul 27, 2010 2:22 am 
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lovehurts, you've gotten some good responses. I just want to add that whatever you choose to do, I hope you will take steps to take care of yourself. Being in a relationship with an addict can be very damaging, even when they aren't physically or emotionally abusive. Addiction is a disease that effects everyone in the family, many times in ways that we don't even realize until much later.

Naranon is a great resource for the loved-ones of addicts. You will certainly find other women there who have been where you are and have made it through. Support from people who have lived through it really helps. You said that you can't afford counseling, so maybe this will be a good option for you. Naranon (or Alanon) has meetings everywhere, and they are free. I believe they have online resources as well - things that you can read that might give you some insight into your situation.

I wish you the best and please do come back - I'm sure all of us will try to help in any way we can.

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You can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.

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