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PostPosted: Fri Feb 04, 2011 6:34 pm 
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Earlier this week or rather late last, I posted about my temptation to use the day I ran out of my suboxone early and whether or not i should tell my doctor if I did.

Well I did take that pill, and I felt awful. Not just because I think it may have reacted badly because of suboxone still in my system- (a buildup I ignored so I could justify taking the pill, in retrospect I'm sure I could've made it through the day physically) but on the plus side, I DID tell my doctor about it. He switched me to 12 mgs and all has been well since. It's now been five days and I've been feeling good, proud, clean, successful...

Until yesterday morning, when I visited my doctor for a screening. I was all ready to see myself come up MUCH cleaner this time than when I first signed on for treatment. My first screening I came up for cocaine, marijuana and opiates, which was to be expected. It WAS jarring see myself test positive for methadone when I have never knowingly taken methadone in my life, but there had been a strange yellow powder mixed in with my last round of coke which I retrospectively presumed to be the culprit.

At least I assumed that to be the cause until my latest urine test that came up positive for methadone AGAIN. O_o Even more concerning is the fact that I came up positive for coke again!! :shock:

Now I can tell my doctor and nurses that I haven't used since the last time I confessed to slipping up til I'm blue in the face, but I highly doubt anyone believes me. I assumed they did at first, because I can be a bit naive when I know I'm innocent; I tend to assume others know that I am too. But now I'm not so sure- they probably see scores of patients a week who fail drug tests and claim open-palmed innocence and blame everything else under the sun for their 'botched' drug test. I'm sure they see me the same way.

Trouble is, I have NOT used cocaine in over two weeks and I have NOT used methadone (have NEVER knowingly taken methadone!! :x ) Like I said, at first I blamed the yellow powder, but now that I'm testing positive for something I haven't done in weeks and should be well out of my system, I don't know what to believe.

I've got no reason to lie to a bunch of anonymous folks online, so I wanted to talk to people who are free to believe me at face value. I'm honest with myself and my doctor about my slip-ups. I told my doctor I'd taken an adderal two days before, which was true. I told him that while I hadn't smoked real weed since before I started (again, true), I have been enjoying the res(idue) that still lingers in my pipe that I still smoke tobacco out of. If I messed up with coke I'd have told him.

So what is going on? How can I be coming up positive for cocaine when it's supposed to be out of your system within four days and I haven't touched it in over two weeks?? I was never addicted to cocaine. I would do it at work with the other girls, but I quit that job to start treatment and haven't looked back. I've never sought it out for myself and I certainly wouldn't start now. I have no inclination towards coke anymore, honestly I was never that fond of it.

The doctor said that if I haven't used and I'm still coming up positive it could mean that my body isn't filtrating properly. :( I know what that means, and I was terrified. For various reasons I've been afraid of that very damage to my body for about a month now, and suddenly my doctor was bringing it up, and I was terrified. My eyes welled up, and in the end he said he'd send my results to a different lab and refer me to a women's health clinic.

Looking back on in though, I'm doubtful that he took me seriously and wasn't just humoring someone he determined a lying, using addict. :cry:

The worst part is KNOWING I am innocent and fearing a serious health issue. For the rest of the day that I took that fated test I was convinced I was on the road to renal failure. Now I'm trying to 'House' this thing out, and determine what else, if anything, could have caused those test results??? Could it be the marijuana res from the pipe I've been using? While I only ever used it to smoke tobacco and marijuana, I did get it from a friend at work. She doesn't do coke or methadone but maybe she got it from someone who did? I haven't seen her since I quit that nebulous job but I need to know where that pipe came from.

In the meantime, any other theories as to HOW this happened?? :(


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 04, 2011 6:44 pm 
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What did they give you.....an in-office test? If so, the usual procedure would be to send it out for GC/MS verification. Remember that most tests are for metabolites, not the actual drug, so relying on, say, the reported half-life of cocaine isn't terribly accurate.
I used to always test (+) for methadone, even though I wasn't taking it. After having this verified as a false positive, they finally traced it to some weird interaction caused by zoloft.

False positives aren't terribly common, but addicts swearing up and down that they are clean, is. Its part of the cross we all must bear.


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 Post subject: Stick to your guns
PostPosted: Fri Feb 04, 2011 7:45 pm 
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Oh man, I feel so bad for you. I also BELIEVE YOU!!!!! The worst thing ever is when you innocent and you know someone doesn't believe you. This happened to me too, but I came back positive for a bunch of stuff I had either never done or had not done in 10+ years. The doctor wouldn't prescribe my meds (including my Sub) until I 'came clean'. He actually convinced me over the course of a number of hours, that I was guilty and crazy because I didn't remember taking these things and that I needed to be checked into detox. I learned a huge lesson from that. Keep telling the truth and do not waver. You know exactly what you have taken and what you haven't. It all will most likely get figured out in the end. Mine did! The doctor was just misreading the test and counting all 'drugs to be tested for' as 'drugs detected'. Keep expressing your own concern at the results and what it could mean if he's seriously telling you that your body isn't filtering properly. That is scary to imagine and I agree with you that it may just be something he's saying. My point is that according to my second doctor, those tests DO come back wrong. There are many, many labs throughout the country and only some are regulated. I read online that somewhere between 4 and 50% of drug tests yield false positives. Kinda scary, but also kinda comforting to someone in your situation. Have you been on any antibiotics? Those can come back positive for cocaine. And would you consider taking an at-home test? I would if I were you, just to calm my own fears.

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PostPosted: Fri Feb 04, 2011 11:19 pm 
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The thing is you DID do coke. If they're testing for the metabolites, and the tests are getting better maybe it did detect it. And why are you doing coke with an unidentified yellow powder in it? I'm not judging you, I'm an addict, too. But you have to decide if your recovery is important enough to stop messing around.


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PostPosted: Sat Feb 05, 2011 7:23 am 
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Cmon jeez.

What sort of self respecting drug addict would turn down some gear just because it had a strange yellow glow, or smelt like cat's urine for that matter. :lol:

A self respecting person in recovery on the other hand ?? :o


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PostPosted: Sat Feb 05, 2011 8:20 am 
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Lillyval- What? No, actually, I didn't. I think I may have gotten you confused (probably because my post was so rambling lol); I said my dilemma isn't that I'm still messing around, quite the opposite actually. The problem im that I'm /not/ messing around anymore and haven't been for two weeks! Not since before I'd even begun treatment. Tearjerker , I think you might've made the same mistake.

I'm committed to this treatment, that's what makes it so disturbing to me that I came up positive for it somehow. And I did the yellow powder because I'm an addict, who at the time was not yet undergoing treatment. Tearjerker I think you may have made the same mistake.

Laddertipper that is an EXCELLENT idea, thank you!! gonna go out tomorrow and do just that! any ideas where I can pick one up??


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PostPosted: Sat Feb 05, 2011 8:44 am 
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So to clarify: haven't done coke since before I started treatment and my treatment started two weeks ago.


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PostPosted: Sat Feb 05, 2011 10:20 am 
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I believe you can buy drug tests at your local pharmacy these days.

I think the doctor did believe you and was concerned. If he didn't believe you he would have booted you from the program. He is waiting it out to see if the tests begin to come up clean over time and if they do then you were honest and if they don't he will peg you for a liar and kick you out. It is too early for him to expect the tests to be totally clean and he knows it.

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PostPosted: Mon Feb 07, 2011 6:33 am 
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Thanks everyone, I have my next appt in a few hours and I'm scared. I called my 'support coach' who said exactly what you said Jackcrack, that he probably believes me and is just concerned and waiting. But what if it's still not clean this time? =/ I've continued with the treatment and still haven't used, but I just don't trust the drug tests at all anymore and am terrified of being kicked out of the program that's really helping me over something I can't control! And considering that my next payment is due tomorrow! If I pay them with what little cash I still have, what recourse will I have if they kick me out over another failed/botched test??

I've been trying to drink a lot of water to try and clean out my system faster, but I'm worried that's just gonna make it look like I was trying to beat the test- albeit with a rather lame attempt, but still.

*sigh* I'm scared guys. Since my last visit I've been doing my best but am no longer feeling good about it. I talked to the friend I got the pipe from and she says nothing besides marijuana was ever smoked out of it.. still, I got rid of it and bought a new one to smoke tobacco out of. Haven't taken any adderall since my last test... But then, I didn't even test positive for that last time so who knows what the hell is going on.. :x


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PostPosted: Mon Feb 07, 2011 12:05 pm 
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Just got back from my appointment with wonderful news!! After sending my sample to an off-site lab, the results came back to my doctor all negative! :D

He said faultiness on the part of the first test- a 'strip' test- was likely to blame for the false positives.

Thanks for all the support, really helped keep me from going off the rails during the interim... And wow, the level of anxiety, depression and defeatism I suffered over this really makes me worry for others who experience the same thing. It's downright startling how something like this can set your whole outlook so far back even when you know you are innocent...

My advice to anyone experiencing this same upset is to talk to at least one person who you can be certain knows you are telling the truth, it's really reinforcing. And if I've learned anything from this experience, it's that you have to keep your head up and at the end of the day, even though at times this can be the most challenging concept of all- deep down you have to be your own motivator!

Good luck to us all! ^_^


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PostPosted: Mon Feb 07, 2011 1:11 pm 
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Although I haven't posted yet, I've been keeping up with your thread. I'm glad you updated us because I was thinking about you. And I'm thrilled that everything turned out okay. YAY YOU! Keep up the good work.

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 Post subject: PHEW!!!!
PostPosted: Mon Feb 07, 2011 10:06 pm 
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That is good news for you and everyone else who ever has to rely on those tests. I've been wondering how this would turn out. Keep having faith in yourself!!!

laddertipper

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First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you. ~F. Scott Fitzgerald


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PostPosted: Tue Jul 12, 2011 11:49 pm 
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Wow glad that all worked out for you, I'm just reading this thread now and I just wanted to add an experience I had. I was like 19 yrs old (about 10 yrs ago) and I was on probation for something totally unrelated to drugs but before getting busted I loved speed mainly coke and Meth. As soon as I found out I would be tested randomly I cut it cold turkey, my first test was 26 days after using anything and I came up dirty for both coke and meth. Spent 38 days in jail because it was a violation of probation. I couldn't believe that could happen after over 3 weeks of not using either. Those tests are flawed they have to be, and 10 years ago they were probably even worse. Scary stuff glad they took a closer look at it for you, keep up the good fight.


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