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 Post subject: HELP ME IM SO BORED
PostPosted: Sat Apr 10, 2010 9:40 pm 
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So as you guys know, boredom is my biggest trigger and i'm very very very FARCKING bored right now. I've played World of warcraft way too much, i'm pretty damn 1337 and the people on there just suck and yeah, im level 80, got great gear, and could work on boring achievements but it's just not fulfilling. im looking for a new computer game to play but my laptop pretty much blows, i bought a game last week that doesnt work so that was a waste of 33 dollars. I feel like im gonna tear out of my skin right now, i just need something entertaining to do, or someone to talk to.


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PostPosted: Sun Apr 11, 2010 3:34 am 
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Hey kev send me a pm if you want to pm back in fourth if it will help you out. i dont want your boardem to lead to something we both dont want you to do, whether relapse or something. like i posted im studying to be a chemical dependency doc and the first thing we learn is if a paiteent is board it can lead to problems. so im hear to help you man if you need to talk just pm me.


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PostPosted: Sun Apr 11, 2010 3:57 am 
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whats up kevgeon, ive found that going for a jog or something of that variance even if your not physically active or into those types of activities can help. Besides that it is self beneficial in the exercise aspect you will sleep great! Jogging is something that I started out of boredom and has become a habit, in fact it has led to a life style change for myself and since ive started I have gotten in better shape and dropped a few pounds (12lbs.). Well good luck with your boredom, hope you find something productive.



~Joseph


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PostPosted: Sun Apr 11, 2010 7:28 am 
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Hi Kev,
I see you wrote this last night, how are you doing? I know you're struggling to take your script as prescribed and I agree that boredom can be a major trigger. Exercise is a great idea, did you try that? What about books...do you have any of those? You could go to your local library and check out all sorts of things from books to movies. For that matter you could always hang out at Borders or Barnes & Noble, too.

I know you're having a hard time, so hang in there and let us be a support to you as best we can.

Take care and please let us know how you're doing.

Hat

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-As I have grown older, I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.

-I'm only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand.


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PostPosted: Sun Apr 11, 2010 12:43 pm 
Hey Kev! I don't know how old you are, but I'm bettting you're somewhere in the 18-22 year old range. I've got kids your age, so I'll have to talk to you kind of from that perspective. I always told my kids that if they complained of being bored, I'd find plenty for them to do! There's always a yard that needs mowed (if not our's, then the old man's next door). There is always a floor that needs mopped or that type of thing. I mean really.....come on.....there's plenty to do. The thing is, the stuff there is to do is stuff that isn't necessarily "fun!" The whole "I'm bored" thing just doesn't sit real good with me! I'm not trying to be too hard on you Kev. I know you're going through a hard time. And I agree....boredom is dangerous territory for us addicts. It's really up to you though....whether you're going to be bored or not. People have given you some good suggestions. The exercise one is a great idea! That could actually turn into a very positive lifestyle change for you that will serve you well your entire life. I think you mentioned somewhere that you're a college student. Maybe you need to add another course to your schedule next semester. Or perhaps try to get more hours at work or get another parttime job. Or go volunteer somewhere....at a shelter or something. There are many ways you can utilize your time more productively and avoid boredom when you really think about it. But it takes action on your part. To be honest, I think the younger generations have been shortchanged by the technological world you've grown up in. Too many kids have been allowed (or forced because of safety concerns) to stay indoors in front of tv, computer, etc. and ended up somewhat isolated. It seems like fewer and fewer kids participate in sports, outdoor activities and such. I think it's a shame. But yeah.....if you look, you can find something to occupy your time. Part of getting better with our addiction is taking the initiative to change every aspect of our lives. You've got to find new interests to fill your time.
I wish I had an easier anwer for you, but so much of this is not easy. You can do it though. We're here to support you!


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PostPosted: Sun Apr 11, 2010 4:08 pm 
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Hey guys, i managed yesterday, took my sub as prescribed, not a single extra and it wasn't even really too difficult, it crossed my mind at the end of the night but after having been at 8mg for the last 14 days or something like that i just told myself there is no reason to double dose and im not ever gonna go thru that anxiety again so i stuck my pills up in my closet where they aren't staring at me all the time which really helped. Alot of the time when i would be taking extra doses they would be right next to me and i'd be sitting at the computer and just be popping them without even thinking about it so now if my hand ever goes for the pill bottle unconsciously they won't just be sitting there.

Today it is raining, that really has me upset, bad weather gets me depressed :'( As for exercise, i walk about 4-6 miles everyday, i usually get up and take a wallk around my block which is 1 mile around. I plan on starting at a gym this summer or sooner and keeping a comittment to working out a few times a week and getting back in shape (I used to be really cut in 10th grade when i had a punching bag and weights and stuff, but somehow i managed to pawn those for dope too :'( ) If i can keep that commitment to working out at a minimum 2-3 times a week, but hopefully more than im gonna tackle cigarettes, and if i can tackle both of those than i'll tackle suboxone so then i can do what i want with my life, but first thing is first, gotta finish adult school for my highschool diploma.

I do volunteer at an animal shelter setmefree, i haven't gone in a bout a week but im going to start on monday(tomorrow) as for the whole mopping the floor thing and stuff, you see those are things to do but they're boring, yeah im 18 and you have your views of children because you have your own kids but even if im occupied, then the whole time im mopping the floor, i'm craving dope because i know being on dope would make mopping the floor more fun. Now if im getting paid for it thats different because then my mind is fixated on the money i'll have afterwards so then i can go get food and go out with a girl or something. So yeah doing that kind of stuff just doesn't sit well with me unless there is a reward involved, don't get me wrong, it's not like my parents ask me to sweep or vaccuum and i say "fuck you pay me", but doing chores on my own accord just isn't something im gonna do to entertain my brain.

I'm about to go for a walk and have a smoke, hit up 7 11 for some yummy junk food, and brave this rain argghhh. Today i'm raising my reputation on world of warcraft with all the major Horde cities, it's kinda lame but not as boring as just being bored with nothing to do, anyways after i get to exalted reputation with all of them i'll get these awesome prizes and new quests to do and stuff so yeah my character will be even more LEET.

Bboy i will send you a pm shortly, within an hour or two, and i think i am going to start jogging thats been something im thinking about doing even before i get to the gym but man when i start to run my lungs end up hurting so bad once i've gotten a good sweat and everything going, i can run but when im done my lungs and chest hurt so bad, but i'll start out at a slow jog and work my way up.

Thanks you guys and i'll keep you posted.


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PostPosted: Sun Apr 11, 2010 5:56 pm 
I'm glad you did better with your Suboxone and didn't take any extra. Good idea to put it away so it's not sitting right out in front of you all the time. Cool that you volunteer at the animal shelter too!
I had to laugh, though, when I read your response as to how I would respond to my kids when they complained about boredom. I know mopping the floor isn't exciting and I don't think too many folks get paid to do it unless that is part of their job description at work. That's life though.....We all have to do boring, mundane tasks. Hopefully, as you progress in your recovery, you'll be able to occupy your mind with things other than dope when you're doing these mindless activities of life!
I stand by my philosophy with kids. The proof is in the outcome and so far with my kids......so good! I've got one who graduated in the top 3% of his college class with an Engineering degree who already makes over 100K/year at 25 years of age, one who has 4.0 GPA and is only a few hours shy of a Master's degree and only just turned 23 years old, and another who is an awesome student and athlete in high school. None of them has ever been in any kind of trouble. They're all well-liked and no, they're not what anyone would call 'uncool' or 'nerdly.' They're just well-rounded young people who learned early on that they're not entitled to a darn thing unless they're willing to work for it! And they learned not to ever complain about being bored.....else Mom or Dad would find them something to do!! lol!!
Seriously, Kev.....I'm totally rooting for you. You are young and you've got a lot ahead of you and it sounds like you really do want to do the right thing and get better so you can go on and pursue your dreams. Keep your head on straight with the Sub, stick with your dose and you'll get there eventually!


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PostPosted: Sun Apr 11, 2010 8:16 pm 
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Thank you for your response setmefree, i'm afraid i may have gotten people to hate me now with my controversial posts in my other topic under bupe and mood. I'm glad i dont know any of you in real life but at the same time i wish i did so you would know what i used to be like and what i'm like now. My mom was just talking to me last night about how much i've changed and how amazed she is with the miracle thats happened in my life, how i have everything under control and how happy i make her. and i was like yeah thank mom and i talked with her about her meth addiction and i talked to her about getting off the suboxone and she basically siad, if a little bit of medicine and therapy is what it takes to make you the wonderful and productive person you are now, take it til your dead because it would be a shame to die how i was. So i was like yeah i know i know and she said, and you know why you're the wonderful person you are now right? It's the same reason i am the way i am now. and i'm like what? And she said it's because of your recovery. and she smiled. So yeah maybe i still have tendencies of the disease but obviously my recovery has done something good for me because my mother, my asshole drunk dad and my friends all say they have seen a tremendous change in me for the better and they are absolutely amazed at the person i've become. I don't wany anyone here to be mad with me or angry because the way i'm working my program and my life is different from their, or isn't ideal with doctor junig's form of recovery, i'm under the care of about 8 doctors at my rehab and i'm following everything they are telling me, in addition to listening in at meetings and taking their advice as well to live a spiritually healthy lifestyle.

Anyways back to boredom i'm doing great right now i'm almost exalted with ALL the horde factions! The only one left for me to do is thunderbluff YAY!!!!


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PostPosted: Sun Apr 11, 2010 8:54 pm 
Thank you Kev! Actually, I do wish I could meet you in real life! I'd give you a big hug and tell you the same thing your Mom told you more than likely! You should be proud of yourself that you're turning your life around! If the worst thing you are doing right now is taking too much Sub sometimes and being bored.....well, that's not so bad is it?! You've got a ways to go and it sounds like you know that. But you're just a kid! I don't know anyone who's 18 years old and has it all figured out! You've got good support with your mother (nothing like a mother's love for her son!!) and you've got a team of professionals working with you on your recovery. So that's great! If we can help you here then we want to. Keep being honest with us and more importantly with yourself. And always take your recovery seriously, like the life and death issue that it truly is, and we will all back you up. You better have only taken what you're supposed to today on you Sub! Otherwise you'll be in trouble with us again!!! Just kidding Your mom is right.....if all it takes is a little bit of Sub to keep you alive and healthy and productive, that's a small price to pay!
Now get in there and mop the kitchen floor....and No, you aint getting paid for it either!! ROFL!!!


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PostPosted: Sun Apr 11, 2010 10:08 pm 
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xD Yes it's 7 o clock ive only take the amount of sub i'm supposed to today, i swear i'm getting this feeling of, not anything like withdrawals but i feel kinda sick i dont know how to explain it, it's the same feeling in the past that made me wanna take more sub but im just telling myself no and so far i've stuck to it, i did it yesterday i can do it today, if i can do it today than that proves i should be able to do it tomorrow. As far as analyzing how i'm feeling, its like my body feels kinda heavy and i feel kinda nauseous but not really badly or anything, my legs seem to be the heaviest part about me, i guess it's just my body and my brain wants to feel different and right now i feel completely normal and i hate feeling normal, i've never been comfortable in my skin which is why i loveeeddd marjuana when i discovered it, and loved opiates even more, i've always been highstrung and uncomfortable in my own body, i'm just dealing with it right now, trying to stay distracted until bedtime.


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PostPosted: Sun Apr 11, 2010 10:18 pm 
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Another thing thats great is my lil bro and sister hanging out with me in my room, my brother is up here right now and we're talking and playing games together and stuff, he makes me really happy, he is 10 and my sister is 12. They caught on to me weeks ago taking my sub more than prescribed, they were like isnt that like your 3rd of 4th one today, because there have been more than a few times you havent been able to talk so you must be taking alot. I tried to fool them at first but they're not stupid, they got so mad at me when they found out, so now i've made a commitment to them that i'm not gonna dose more than i'm prescribed anymore. They said if they catch me they're gonna hurt me and/or find a way to get me in trouble so yeah i don't wanna hurt them because they don't like to see me like that. My mom knows too, she has known for a while and i made a commitment to her as well that i'm gonna do what i'm supposed to do and that if i screw up she can take my prescription from me, so she will be checking up on me about the issue from time to time. It's good to be held accountable because now i just won't let myself down but i'll let my family down and i do not like to fail.

I don't wanna let my dad know about the issue because he will blow it way out of proportion, lose his temper, he will drink over it, probably have drink in him when and if i told him and then he will use it as an excuse to keep drinking when he needs to get help. The way he sees it, if im allowed to have meds help me with my addiction then ive traded one for another and that gives him the right to keep drinking, his thinking is major skewed.


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