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 Post subject: hello
PostPosted: Sat Jan 09, 2010 5:19 pm 
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hi, I am now here, and currently going trough paws (day 33), my addiction was half to full street-g of heroin by snorting. I had intermittent runs of 2-4 weeks sober and some other day or two while using. This was going on for two years with some other two of occasional but rare use before. Hence I think my habit wasn't that extreme, still I suffer some paws symptoms which now begun cycling between normal and bad. Before there was mainly bad, but in a way manageable. Through subdocs video I now realized I never really broke through paws symptoms the last two years - I sometimes thought I was depressed or even bipolar. I reckon that doing opiates constantly for years and then quitting could result in long term paws where subox long-term-maintenance could be necessary for people getting into a routine before final withdrawal from all opiates.

In my case I think subutex wouldn't do any help, because I never had too much to complain when coming off opiates acutely - I don't know why, as I heard people having harsher wds using less drug or for a shorter run than me. Paws is plaguing me though, but I seem to handle it and I sleep well, though a little too much. There are blurred but significant life events to be processed as well. I now know it goes for some time, somedays good and then crashing back to symptoms. It takes as long as it takes. What's helping me is writing to forums, sensible comments like subdocs and gaining as much as information on the psychological aspects of addiction and paws. Through self reflection addictive thought complexes can be separated from the sane and counterstrategies can be formed. I tried to quit before and always relapsed because I didn't know anything. I do have sober routines and friends which help me, and these became role-models for a sober life.

My message is: every person is different and has had different experiences, so everybody should be treated accordingly - as far it is possible. And nobody has ever the right to look down on someone doing different. And last of it all, its a disease, not a weakness.


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PostPosted: Sat Jan 09, 2010 10:24 pm 
Welcome to the forum pawspaw. Congratulations on getting clean! PAWS is very difficult indeed. There are many of us here who, like you, managed to get clean for periods of time then found ourselves suffering from the symptoms of PAWS. For many of us relapse was the next step unfortunately. Sometimes even though we understand what is going on and can see it pretty clearly intellectually, we still cannot get out from under the gloom of it all. We want to feel better. That is only natural. There are certainly people who are able to get and stay clean without medications and who will, through lots of education and support, make it over the long haul. I surely hope you are one of them!
I'm glad you are seeking alternatives by educating yourself and that thus far you've been able to sustain your recovery by doing what you've been doing. I do believe that a positive attitude goes a long way. However, if you find that your struggle with PAWS continues and you are close at all to relapse, please do yourself the favor that a lot of us here have done and meet with a Suboxone doctor and consider this medication.
I agree with you completely that everyone who struggles with addiction is different and it is not a one-size-fits-all situation when it comes to treatment options. And you are so right when you say that no one should be looked down upon when it comes to one's personal path to recovery. What matters the most is that we are making the choices that bring us the most health, productivity, growth and potential for happiness that we can find!
Best of luck to you as you move forward. Stay strong and keep your recovery your number one priority! I'm hoping your symptoms pass soon and you're feeling better every day. Keep us posted on how you're doing.


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PostPosted: Sun Jan 10, 2010 12:54 am 
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Pawspaw,
Welcome to the community, glad to read your postings.
Quote:
Through subdocs video I now realized I never really broke through paws symptoms the last two years - I sometimes thought I was depressed or even bipolar.


So many people do not realize how long the effects of their drug use can last. While using, we are used to "instant gratification" and when finally ready to attempt a life free from addiction, we want instant results. Understand that it took time to build the addiction, it will take just as long (if not longer or indefinitely) to repair the damage done both physically and psychologically.

The most important point to make is that you should not give up, NO matter what! You are totally right in saying Nobody has the right to look down on another for choosing a different path to recovery. It does not matter HOW you get there, just as long as you get there.

Keep fighting for your sanity, and keep posting!- SW

_________________
"It is never too late to be what you might have been!" - George Eliot


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Fond Du Lac Psychiatry
Dr. Jeffrey Junig, M.D., Ph.D.

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