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 Post subject: hello, new to forum
PostPosted: Mon May 28, 2012 10:22 am 
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Hello everyone. I am new to this forum. I lurked around for a long time before I finally joined. I made a few post here and there.

I am here to learn and for advice from others. My situation is not a unique one. Like most, was on subutex for 5 + years. Finally weaned off. Did ok for a little while but I guess PAWS kicked in or something. So like a idiot I went back on it.

I am on maybe 1 mg. Enough to make me feel like I might live. lol I am older so that is against me also. I am 53.

I have no clue what my next move is. This seems like a very nice place to be .


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PostPosted: Mon May 28, 2012 10:38 am 
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Neva2late wrote:
Hello everyone. I am new to this forum. I lurked around for a long time before I finally joined. I made a few post here and there.

I am here to learn and for advice from others. My situation is not a unique one. Like most, was on subutex for 5 + years. Finally weaned off. Did ok for a little while but I guess PAWS kicked in or something. So like a idiot I went back on it.

I am on maybe 1 mg. Enough to make me feel like I might live. lol I am older so that is against me also. I am 53.

I have no clue what my next move is. This seems like a very nice place to be .





Hi Neva2late and welcome to the forum!!!

This is a very nice place to be with a lot of great people that give good advice. It has helped me a lot. You are not too mucy older...I have you beat by 10 years!! I had a 29 yr. addiction to hydrocodone and finally found subs 2 years ago..
and it changed my life. I think it is a miracle drug. I got my life back. I don't know how long I will stay on it and at my age i don't really care...as long as it keeps me sober. So, if you don't mind me asking what was your doc? and how long were you on it before subs?? Also does the 1mg take care of the cravings and everything? I am on 12mg. but trying to get down to a low dose and maintain on that. Please don't beat yourself up for having to go back on subs...we do what we have to do...

I hope you will continue to write on the forum and we can keep up with you.

Slipper

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PostPosted: Mon May 28, 2012 10:49 am 
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Thank you for the welcome Slipper. It certainly feels good to have found some older age addicts! lol Most of the boards I checked out were much younger people and I was reluctant to even begin my story.

Hydrocodone was my DOC. For many years. I would get a year maybe clean time and fail again. Over and over.

I am trying so very hard not to let my dose get up to high again on the subutex. I could easily do another 1 mg later in the day, but so far I have held off.

I never dreamed I would be in this shape at this age. I always thought that these were the years you enjoyed life. :(


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PostPosted: Mon May 28, 2012 10:59 am 
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Hello Neva2late and Welcome to the forum !

This is the place to be for support.

I've been on Sub for 5 months (newbie on the block) and I'm a "little" younger than you, and I rather be this age ON Suboxone, than this age ON DRUGS !

Like Slipper said, it's a miracle drug and it's definately saved my life too, I have n.o idea how long I'll be on it, I can't put pressure on myself.
I am at 12mg now also, and would like to drop a bit more and maintain at that.

Can I ask you, when you quit the first time at what dose did you jump from? I'm just curious since you said "PAWS" kicked in. But don't beat yourself up about it, you werent ready, give yourself more time.

Stick around, i'm sure you'll get some great support !


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PostPosted: Mon May 28, 2012 11:11 am 
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Hi neva- I've seen one or two of your posts but I'll officially welcome you now!

The next thing I'll say is you're NOT AN IDIOT! You made the best decision you felt was right for you. There's nothing wrong with that. If you felt it was sub or relapse, then it was SMART!!! Cut yourself some slack, OK?

Just because you went back on sub doesn't mean you're going to be on it for life. You can keep reassessing every so often.

Good luck and I'm glad you decided to join and participate more. :)

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PostPosted: Mon May 28, 2012 11:22 am 
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Thank you both Lindy and hat for the replies.

Lindy, I got down to mere crumbs before I jumped. I say it was PAWS, I don't really know. But 6 months post sub and I was so miserable I could not function. I know I should have given it more time...


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 Post subject: FROM SLIPPER
PostPosted: Mon May 28, 2012 11:22 am 
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Neva2late wrote:
Thank you for the welcome Slipper. It certainly feels good to have found some older age addicts! lol Most of the boards I checked out were much younger people and I was reluctant to even begin my story.

Hydrocodone was my DOC. For many years. I would get a year maybe clean time and fail again. Over and over.

I am trying so very hard not to let my dose get up to high again on the subutex. I could easily do another 1 mg later in the day, but so far I have held off.

I never dreamed I would be in this shape at this age. I always thought that these were the years you enjoyed life. :(




I am also taking subutex and like you thought I was the oldest one here...everyone was so young...I felt like I had wasted my whole life on drugs..and just about did. I don't see anything wrong with taking the subutex...if it keeps me sober and makes me feel normal then why not?? Your low dose is good because if you had to go to hospital or have something done in that respect you could easily have pain med.that would work.

In all my years of addiction the only sobriety i ever managed was 1 year. I tried everything and nothing helped..AA NA..treatment centers, counselors...and I would be right back on it.
The subutex makes me feel normal..not high...just normal. It is the only thing that has ever worked for me and now I don't even think about drugs.
Slipper

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"For evil to flourish, all that is needed is for good people to do nothing." >> Edmund Burke


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PostPosted: Mon May 28, 2012 11:38 am 
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Hello.and good morning. I too am 53 an thought life would be much better at this point. You know though it is becuz of this great med I found 17 months ago.I'm new here and finding my way around this forum and help it has to offer. Bn on 12mgs an just lately thinking of tapering down abit. We do what we need to do to stay clean and live. And yes its good to see some older addicts here.the great thing here is we can all learn of each other! Peace..razor


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PostPosted: Mon May 28, 2012 11:45 am 
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I think most of the people on this forum are "older" adults....(Or whatever one calls them). I'm 47 and so many others here are also in their 40s, 50s, & older. One would think that many opiate addicts are young, but believe me, around here this theory doesn't seem to pan out, from what I've seen over the past 3+ years.

So stop feeling old. We're only as old as we feel!!! And believe me, I don't feel OR ACT (or look :wink: ) like a 47 year old woman! HA HA.

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-As I have grown older, I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.

-I'm only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand.


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PostPosted: Mon May 28, 2012 1:39 pm 
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I enjoy this forum more than any other because hat is right, it does seem to be mostly older addicts here, and the coversations just seem to be a lot different than any other forum I have briefly visited. And I agree with slipper, I never think about drugs either, and that in itself is a miracle for me, since I have been addicted to all kinds of drugs for the last 2 decades. Subs have given my my life back as well, so I'd rather be on them than still be in active addiction, which is exactly where I would be without them. My latest doc was hydrocodone too.

I'm 35 years old, but sometimes I feel 50. If you saw my little routine of what I have to do to prepare myself to go to bed, you would think I was 80! I put a bunch of pillows under my top half to elevate my neck and shoulders to keep them from hurting, and a leg pillow and a foot pillow to elevate my lower half for the same reason. It looks like a hospital bed under the covers! Then I gotta have my earplugs close for when my bf snores, my chapstick and water bottle at hand...you get the point!

Welcom to the forum Neva2late. This is a great place to find help in your recovery!


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon May 28, 2012 3:49 pm 
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Neva2late wrote:
Thank you both Lindy and hat for the replies.

Lindy, I got down to mere crumbs before I jumped. I say it was PAWS, I don't really know. But 6 months post sub and I was so miserable I could not function. I know I should have given it more time...



You say you were down to crumbs and still you didnt feel good?
I wonder why, but I wouldnt worry about it not working the first time, you just werent ready.

As far as our ages, when I first came here, I thought it was a much younger crowd too and figured I didn't fit in so well, so I didn't come around so much.
I'm in my 40's, and from reading everyone else's ages, I am really happy that I came back.


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