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 Post subject: Hello everyone!
PostPosted: Sun Aug 18, 2013 9:30 pm 
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Hi everybody! I'm new to this forum and am so happy to have found this resource. I was on sub 2006-2010. I tapered off myself and it was extremely difficult with some symptoms lasting for months. I did well until around 2012 when I regretfully dabbled again and it escalated to a frightening point where I again realized I couldn't stop. I got back on sub in June 2013, new to the film and still uncertain if I like it better or worse.

I'm a psychologist, which has made my own journey through addiction unique and challenging for me. I tend to attack myself a lot, as if I should have known better. I ran a residential rehab program for 2 years. Although I don't specialize in addiction now, I treat my fair share of it. I think my own experiences make me better equipped to help others. But I feel like I have to hide this part of myself from my peers. Stigma is alive and well...

I found a compassionate doctor who helped me the first time around and graciously accepted me as a patient this time around too. I fight a daily battle in my head about how long I should take this, how much I should be taking, and I know it isn't good for my recovery to beat myself up. I have a very supportive wife, which makes all the difference for me.

It bothers me that there aren't more support resources for professionals so I'm constantly looking for ways to address this through my own practice. I think a lot of addicted professionals go untreated because of the stigma and fear they will lose their license, jobs, reputation, etc. Dr. Junig's websites and videos have been inspiring and encouraging.

I can type about this for hours, so I'll stop here. Glad to be alive and participating. Thanks!


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 Post subject: Re: Hello everyone!
PostPosted: Sun Aug 18, 2013 11:04 pm 
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Hello Doc and welcome to the forum. I would be very interested to know your dosages and tapering schedule if you wouldn't mind sharing them. I also agree that your own experience with sub, and addiction, would most likely give you a distinct advantage speaking to patients in the same sitaution.

Sounds like you have a wonderful doctor that understands your situation and is helping you in your recovery. And I'm sure you wife's support makes all the difference.

I myself have been on subs for about 3 years. I was at a high dose of 24mgs and tapered myself down to a dose of 2mgs. I was stuck there trying to jump several times as the symptoms were too severe. I became a memeber here at that point and now I have reduced my dose to 1.25mg and doing quite well. I'm reducing by .25mg increments every 7 days or so.

Anyway I just wanted to welcome you and wish you continued success. It's very nice to have you here and I'm certain you can offer many here including myself valuable information along our journeys. Take care Doc and I'm sure we shall speak again at some point.

Karen xoxo


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 Post subject: Re: Hello everyone!
PostPosted: Mon Aug 19, 2013 1:11 am 
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Hi Doc, and welcome to the forum! We're glad to have you here. I understand why you would beat yourself up because you've been through it before and "ought to know better". The fact that you are in a related field only worsens the feelings of culpability and shame. But I want to remind you of something. I've been taking classes to become a certified addiction counselor and so I have seen some of the new scientific evidence and I'm aware of the current working definition of addiction. Are you?

"Addiction is defined as a chronic, relapsing brain disease that is characterized by compulsive drug seeking and use, despite harmful consequences. It is considered a brain disease because drugs change the brain; they change its structure and how it works. These brain changes can be long lasting and can lead to many harmful, often self-destructive, behaviors." -NIDA

A chronic, relapsing brain disease. This is our current understanding of addiction. It doesn't leave a lot of room for self-recrimination. I hope that you find the support you're looking for here.

Amy

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 Post subject: Re: Hello everyone!
PostPosted: Wed Aug 21, 2013 8:25 am 
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Wow! What a warm, supportive welcome. Thank you so much.

Amy, you're comments really had a profound impact on me. I guess I realized I filter out even some of the most basic information about addiction and the brain that I teach others, yet I don't apply these concepts to myself. I hadn't even read that definition of addiction in years. That was very helpful and I thank you for that.

Karen, thank you for the welcome as well. To answer your question about tapering. The first time I took sub I was on 16mg (tablets) a day. I reduced down to 1mg a day then stopped. The withdrawal was difficult. The worst of it was probably days 2-5, then it was easier to return to work and normal life. Some GI symptoms and muscle weakness lasted for months, but overall were tolerable.

This time I'm on 8mg a day with no plans to taper in the near future. I'm still trying to figure out the optimal dose to achieve some sense of normality for me at this point.

Thank you both again for the welcome!


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 Post subject: Re: Hello everyone!
PostPosted: Sat Aug 24, 2013 4:12 pm 
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You're very welcome! I'm so glad that we could help in any way.

It's sad that we are often our own worst critics. But if we can change the dialog in our heads to positive messages it can have a profound impact on our well being and outlook on life.

I hope you stay around and ask any questions you have and also impart the wisdom you have obtained in your own studies and experiences. We appreciate additions to our brain trust! Lol!

Amy

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Fond Du Lac Psychiatry
Dr. Jeffrey Junig, M.D., Ph.D.

  • Board Certified Psychiatrist
  • Asst Clinical Professor, Medical College of Wisconsin

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