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 Post subject: Hello Everybody!
PostPosted: Sun Aug 07, 2011 2:26 pm 
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Joined: Thu Jul 21, 2011 10:43 am
Posts: 893
Location: AZ
First I would like to start by saying thank you to everyone who has added to this forum! I have been reading thru it for a while and have learned so much. I have a pretty typical story, I have been suffering from chronic pain for the last 3 years, for the first 2 I was able to use lortab as needed and had decent pain control. After giving birth to my twin daughters in Oct. 2010 the pain intensified ten-fold. I had to wait until May 2011 to have surgery so I was put on oxycontin to get thru the day. Of course as time went on I needed more and more and by the time I had my surgery I was prescribed 150mg a day. I did ok the first few months and then everything went to hell. Not making excuses but I was suffering from post pardom depression and the exhaustion that goes along with caring for a 4 year old, 2 year old and new born twins. Not to mention being in pretty significant pain constantly. I quickly found out taking more oxy at night seemed to give me peace and an escape from my stressful life. I started running out and going to the streets to buy more ever increasing my tolerance. I also kept this a secret from everyone including my husband. I had the thought back then, oh your just stressed, your not like other people that get addicted. Yeah Right! I promised my self that after my surgery I would stop, I guess trying to justify to myself that it was ok because it is just temporary, ha! Anyway I was lucky to some extent to not lose complete control, I only took enough for the pain and to not be sick in the day while caring for my children, After they were in bed however I swallowed those pills like candy. About 6 weeks before my surgery I came to the realizaton that I was an addict in every sense of the word and wanted to stop, but was scared if I told my doc that I would be cut off until my surgery and did not think I could handle that. Looking back it was just another excuse on my part. May 15th I had the surgery and a week later I went to my doc and asked to start tapering. Well I had my dose so high (probsbly between 200-300mg/day) that there was no way that was happening. I was scared still to tell my doc but knew I had to tell someone, so I went home and told my husband. He was amazingly supportive and said he had suspected as much and was proud of me for finally coming to him. After reasearcing I decided I wanted to go on Suboxone, found my doc and was induced. I have now been on sub a little over 2 months, I take 16 mgs/day and feel almost normal. I have a great doc, he is a phsyciatrist with a specialty in addiction medicine. He doesnt just write me a prescription, we have at least 30 min. per session and even longer if I feel I need it. I am currently thinking about starting some additional counseling. During using I spent a ton of money and feel so much guilt and hatred for myself for taking that money from my children. I also have all of the other guilt just from using in general. I keep thinking what kind of mother does something like this and it helps me to see that I am not the only one. I still have not been completely honest with my husband about how much of our money I actually spent and am terrified to tell him. Because of me, we may be facing bankruptcy. I am very happy that I was able to seek help early on because there is no doubt in my mind I would have continued to progress in my addiction. I want you all to know how much strength I am drawing from all of your stories and the caring you all have for one another. I read here about the misconceptions people have about addicts and ashamed to say that before I became one I had those same misconceptions. Now being here and reading about all of you and seeing how much you help one another I realize that an addict isn't who someone is. I have done a lot of research and checked out many forums and have never found anything close to the caliber of people that are here. I have a lot of respect for all of you and am glad I do not see the world as black and white as I once did. Anyway I am sorry I have written a book, I sat down and started and it just kept flowing. If you are still reading I thank you and can't wait to become a part of your community here!


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Fond Du Lac Psychiatry
Dr. Jeffrey Junig, M.D., Ph.D.

  • Board Certified Psychiatrist
  • Asst Clinical Professor, Medical College of Wisconsin

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