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PostPosted: Sun Aug 04, 2013 8:50 pm 
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Also I'm generally surrounded by familiar stuff all day lol. I'm a house husband, and that boredome gets to me. I broke the vacuum using it so much to stay busy, fixed it, and its probably gonna break again soon lol

I guess it's a good thing, but so far it HASN'T actually gotten to full blown panic attack. Muscles feel weird, not quite RLS, not quite stretchy, and shoulders feel slightly sunburned and heart pounding/shortness of breath, but it NEVER gotto full blown panic mode, so I guess I should be grateful haha


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PostPosted: Sun Aug 04, 2013 9:16 pm 
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Hey fiveseveneightnine10fivezerothreetwoone, ( :D ),

I feel ya on the insomnia. My first 10 days of wd, I was averaging 20 minutes of sleep per night with a grand total of ZERO sleep on the 10th night. After that, I was able to get 2 whole hours of sleep per night. I went back to work after 5 weeks of Suboxone wd and was only getting 2.5 to 3 hours of sleep per night. I was stunned at how well I could function on such little sleep.....not happy about it, just stunned.

Like you, I LOVE my sleep, so it was quite the smack in the face to have completely fucked up sleep for so long, but I survived.....and so will you.

It's normal to doubt yourself, man. I had 1000 doubts of my abilities during my wd, but I just kept telling myself that I'd get better and I did!!! Woo-Hoo!!!

Hang in there, dude. We do get better, it just takes time.

Also, things could be worse, you could be that squirrel. LOL

Oh yeah, the panic attacks....I had those bad boys too. Scared the living shit outta me. The attacks only lasted 5 or 6 minutes at a time, but Holy Crap they hurt. I just kept reminding myself this was all wd related and I would focus on my breathing. The panic attacks lightened up after a few weeks, for me.

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PostPosted: Mon Aug 05, 2013 10:23 am 
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This is really weird for me. I somehow got a decent night sleep last night, and woke up feeling the anxiety, but it helps sooo much as far as my mental state goes. It's still there, a LITTLE less intense, but it feels....dealable now lol


I guess the ONLY upside from my meth use days was I can pretty much talk myself away from a full blown panic attack, it was just that physical feeling wearing me down, but I KINDA feel like....it's almost 'reset'. Not like starting over but as far as mentally...


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PostPosted: Mon Aug 05, 2013 11:06 am 
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You really are doing great FS. I think your on day 22 or so and that's something you should be real proud of. I don't have lots of advice to give, but I do know the lack of sleep can drive you nuts.

I tried most everything too with the exception of a prescription sleeping aid. I just choose not to go down that road again. What I eventually found to work for ME personally quite well was to combine some Melatonin and Sleepy Time Tea together near bedtime. Something about the two of them together gave me some much needed sleep.

I think the Melatonin comes in 3, 5, and 10mg doses and I took 2 of the 3mg pills and a cup of the tea about 30-45 minutes before I went to bed. I was able to get 4-6 hours of uninterrupted sleep which I will take every single night. Might not do a thing for you, and maybe you have already given it a try, but if not it may help a little bit?

Anyway keep doing just what your doing now....fight thru each day and try yor best to remain positive. Your adding up the clean days and I hope to follow in your steps real soon. I also know posting helps a lot to get your thoughts out so please keep doing that. Take care Fiveseven.

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PostPosted: Mon Aug 05, 2013 12:28 pm 
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Good lord I know it's 9am but a nice cup of tea with some lemon sounds sooo good right now. It's been more than a year since I've had a HOT cup of tea..

Today is day 22, and now that I've been up for a bit I can feel the tension isn't as bad, at least my chest is only pounding here and there, but over the weekend it was 24/7

I think maybe part of it (the anxiety) could be frustration. My wife and I were talking this morning and she asked how fast I THOUGHT it would be, since I was kinda complaining things aren't moving along as fast as I thought it would...
I guess I just feel things should be over with, even though it IS a lifelong battle to stay clean, I guess I keep thinking it should be over and done with. With last nights sleep (either from just craving or what...I'll take either way lol) I feel GREAT. EXCEPT for that weird feeling. It's no longer a sunburn type feeling, but its...not right. You know what I mean? My muscles/shoulders feel a bit off....I guess a little tense? Doesn't really feel tense. It's just...weird. And I think because of how easily I forget about how I feel previously I guess I need to manage my expectations better. I'm expecting daily leaps and bounds in progress, and I need to accept that's not going to happen at this stage. I feel pretty damn lucky even though I still read tons of horror stories (on drugs forum and blue light) of people on DAY 66 still feeling terrible and having active withdrawl here I am on 22 and I can function. Sometimes I don't want to but some music and air guitar is very therapeutic lol

It's still amazing I've gotten this far lol. I'm 32 as I haven't NOT been on some kind of medication or opiate for the past 10+ years, and I don't know if I messedyself up with running short on subs every month but this kick was really not as bad, in hindsight, than I thought it would be

I also don't know why I DIDN'T think of this before ( I feel so stupid nt realizing this until literally JUST now, but I've been switching around cigarettes on purpose to brands I KNOW I don't like because I notice I smoke ALOT less. This all started when 7-11 gave me 100s instead of lights last week. It took me a week to finish that pack. Probably most of this is from nicotine too...

To heck with it. If its gonna rain, let it pour right? Quitting smoking is on par with opiates, probably even harder because my wife is so okay with it. (I don't smoke inside or around my fam. I always walk far away.) My wife's mom has a gambling problem and her ex husband was a big drinker/gambler/smoker so she probably feels 1 out of 3 is okay, but I've always wanted to quit, but never got around to it or made it any kind of priority. Probably because the detriment of smoking is a lot slower than opiate abuse....

It's so bothersome. I feel like its the last lap of a race, but I've been blackflagged (I've been black flagged at a track day before for 'battling' my friend who was also an instructor. we knew what we were doing but the corner guys didn't agree. That sucked big time lol :p ). It's so close to being completely over and feeling 100% but its just not happening (as fast I would like or think it should happen anyway).

I guess today's lesson is patience and managing expectations lol. Two things I'm not very good at haha


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PostPosted: Thu Aug 08, 2013 3:30 pm 
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Here's an update for anyone reading: it does get better pretty fast only symptom I have now is a burning skin sensation. Like a very mild sunburn. It's bothersome but ignorable. Come to think of it I don't know if I HAVE a sunburn. We has a few weeks of 110+ degree weather here in Vegas so it very well could be haha. It's bothersome but not enough do DO anything about it. Except complain. Always time for that lol.

Little tiredness but that could be lack of sleep catching up to me although this past few days I got regular sleep and could sleep till noon if I had nothing going on...


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PostPosted: Fri Aug 09, 2013 11:20 am 
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Looks like I jinxed myself there lol.

Question for everyone:when did you start to notice a firm improvement in sleeping patterns? I couldn't sleep till 2am and slept in 2 hour intervals ( I poked around online and 2 hour intervals seem common. Does you body jerk itself awake after ONE REM sleep cycle?)
I feel kinda okay otherwise. A bit tired but when I woke the burning in my skin was MUCH less pronounced than it had been.

Another weird thing. I have really weird dreams. Weird stuff happens as WELL as being aware its not right, and I can change it to be 'correct'. Like I am aware it is a dream, while I'm dreaming, and if something seems impossible or doesn't make any sense I can remember thinking about it and MAKING it change and make sense. The whole dream and what happens is out of my control but as far as objects that don't make sense it seems I have complete control over, and being so aware of it...never happened in my life before...


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PostPosted: Fri Aug 09, 2013 1:44 pm 
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Fiveseven15 wrote:
Another weird thing. I have really weird dreams. Weird stuff happens as WELL as being aware its not right, and I can change it to be 'correct'. Like I am aware it is a dream, while I'm dreaming, and if something seems impossible or doesn't make any sense I can remember thinking about it and MAKING it change and make sense. The whole dream and what happens is out of my control but as far as objects that don't make sense it seems I have complete control over, and being so aware of it...never happened in my life before...



I've been writing about the dreams for a while now. Mine are the type that are so frightening they are leaving me crying and shaking when I wake up from one in the middle of the night. I never had any at the higher doses of sub, only since reducing below 2mgs have they been so noticeable.

I sure wish I could change most of my dreams. Both the dreams themselves, and the objects in them too. Yours seem to be a little different than mine, but the "weird" part is certainly what I call mine too! Hang in there and hopefully they will pass soon for both of us.

Karen
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PostPosted: Fri Aug 09, 2013 2:14 pm 
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Yeah it's weird. The stuff that happens SHOULD be terrifying, but its not. One that stands out was a weird looking monster coming out of a toilet. It moved like a lizard, so I thought 'that's doesn't look right' and it part by part became a lizard, and then on to something else. I guess this the no emotion part of things? Really odd...and these all happen in the 2hr spurts of sleep I got. It's just REALLY weird to me lol


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PostPosted: Fri Aug 09, 2013 3:00 pm 
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So many people report the burning sensation. I had the opposite, constant chills for as long as I could remember. I hated that, could never warm up.

Sleep evened out for me 2-3 months in. I never had horrible sleep but I couldn't sleep past 5 or 6am for the longest time and slowly it got back to normal.. Everyone is different though.


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PostPosted: Fri Aug 09, 2013 4:21 pm 
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Oh joy another month of this rollercoaster of sleep and no sleep lol

Eh what can I do. I'm in it for the long haul this time....


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PostPosted: Fri Aug 09, 2013 6:23 pm 
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Wtheck?!? I feel like acute wd is starting to come back? Or something else? Very different than the first time but the restlessness has gotten progressively worse today along with the sniffles and sweating a tiny bit.

Am I over thinking here? Or am I just getting sick from lack of sleep/stress? Or is this a completely normal part of recovery? It's very VERY mild but its there. Am I just going crazy?


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PostPosted: Sat Aug 10, 2013 11:38 am 
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I took a massive dose of melatonin last night (over 100mg. Not sure exactly how much. The LD/50 is unknown because scientists couldn't make a solution concentrated enough lol. That's how safe it is) and it extended my sleep periods from 2 hours to 2.5-3hrs lol. Biiiig difference. Man this sucks hard its not really even the actual lack of sleep because when I wake up, I feel okay. I do actually feel like I've gotten a decent amount of sleep. I can function and whatnot. It's the BOREDOM of laying there tossing ad turning that gets to me.

Today is day 27 I think, and today I didn't wake with the burning sensation so I guess that's an improvement. They need to release a new game to the fallout series. When I played that I could play all night and into the next day lol. I could never put it down.


I hope all of you are doing great this Saturday morning! Overall I'm in a pretty decent mood. Plenty to be grateful for ( a supportive wife and this forum is at the top of my list) so I guess I shouldn't complain. But I will. Because that's what I do. Lol


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PostPosted: Tue Aug 13, 2013 4:14 pm 
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Broke down and went to the doc yesterday.....wanted to get clonidine and something to help sleep. He gave me valium. Benzos I'm not sure if it had any effect but I know clonidine always makes me super tired

Glad to say I slept a good 13 hours last night lol. I wish I thought of this sooner. Clonidine makes me tired but I can KO with ease (last night anyway)


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PostPosted: Tue Aug 13, 2013 5:03 pm 
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Hey fiveseven,

Glad to see your still pushing through the anxiety and sleep!

Woo Hoo, you finally got some relief with clonidine! Yay for sleep!!!

If you were still having issues with sleep i was gonna suggest this new sleep aid, but side effects are mud butt!!
[youtube] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rNh_mQo9 ... ata_player [/youtube]


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PostPosted: Tue Aug 13, 2013 5:15 pm 
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BeautifulDisaster wrote:
Hey fiveseven,

Glad to see your still pushing through the anxiety and sleep!

Woo Hoo, you finally got some relief with clonidine! Yay for sleep!!!

If you were still having issues with sleep i was gonna suggest this new sleep aid, but side effects are mud butt!!
[youtube] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rNh_mQo9 ... ata_player [/youtube]



HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Cool Stuff!!! :lol:


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 14, 2013 12:18 pm 
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I am in much the same situation as you but about 10-15 days ahead. Clonidine has been awesome for me but I keep waiting for the day that I don't need it. Your ups and downs seem to be on par with mine. It is funny, I can be on vacation for 10 days running and playing on the beach and barely notice any issues but get me back home and suddenly I have the time to think about the issues. Keep going and I hope you beat me to the finish line.


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 14, 2013 2:52 pm 
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DBMB wrote:
I am in much the same situation as you but about 10-15 days ahead. Clonidine has been awesome for me but I keep waiting for the day that I don't need it. Your ups and downs seem to be on par with mine. It is funny, I can be on vacation for 10 days running and playing on the beach and barely notice any issues but get me back home and suddenly I have the time to think about the issues. Keep going and I hope you beat me to the finish line.


I posted about this in my thread in Bupe in the rearview mirror. I was lucky enough to have a few really cool vacations during the first 6 months of stopping suboxone. I felt so much better traveling around, tiring myself out, in the ocean, etc.. It was much needed relief during a hard time. I know not everyone can get away but if you can, it's SO worth it.


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 14, 2013 3:47 pm 
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tinydancer wrote:
DBMB wrote:
I am in much the same situation as you but about 10-15 days ahead. Clonidine has been awesome for me but I keep waiting for the day that I don't need it. Your ups and downs seem to be on par with mine. It is funny, I can be on vacation for 10 days running and playing on the beach and barely notice any issues but get me back home and suddenly I have the time to think about the issues. Keep going and I hope you beat me to the finish line.


I posted about this in my thread in Bupe in the rearview mirror. I was lucky enough to have a few really cool vacations during the first 6 months of stopping suboxone. I felt so much better traveling around, tiring myself out, in the ocean, etc.. It was much needed relief during a hard time. I know not everyone can get away but if you can, it's SO worth it.


I can only agree that it helps a ton. I have had several trips in my roughly 40 days and I say the same thing every time. The opposite is my office is my house and there I dive deep into my PAW's. I move on but like I mention in all of my posts it is annoying. Each day it seems it should be done but something creeps in, maybe less each day but still there, just barely hanging on.


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PostPosted: Fri Aug 16, 2013 1:47 am 
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lol mmmmm ribs sound so good right now lol. im only on clonidine for 20 days..and it makes me sooo tired which is a godsend and a curse. i sleep throughout the day like i used to on subs. but other than fatigue from clonidine i feel 100% now. it never used to work before but i guess its now mild enough that it can kill off the residual WDs

i hope everyone is doing well and i feel much better without insomnia and physical anxiety. i feel like im done with it all, but ill know for sure once i stop the clonidine lol


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