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 Post subject: Hell and back again
PostPosted: Wed Jan 20, 2016 1:04 am 
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Where to begin..... Hello I'm a 24 year old Male, a father to a beautiful 4 week old baby girl, a combat veteran and an unemployed drug addict. As of late I've been reading lots and lots of forums on suboxone, specifically withdrawals from the subs which leads me to want to join the discussion and hopefully hear some positive feedback and criticism .I went to a detox and kicked opiates about 4 months ago and got on subs immediately after This is my 4th time in the last 4 months going thru this hell called withdrawing and unfortunately this isn't by choice. I am in this situation due to and only due to the fact that I am without the necessary funds to sustain my problem. Before subs i was a huge opiate addict preferring pills over H but didn't shy away from sniffing a couple bags if i couldn't find the pills i've kicked pills more then ten times in 2 years due to the fact of not being able to afford them. Let me paint a picture of where i live, i live in a rural mountain town in the north east where work (reliable work) is only available during the spring & summer months once winter comes i basically kissed getting high and now feeling normal (since detox & subs) due to my drug problem i have not been able to find a reliable job im in a conundrum and here it is I cant get a job here without having a car i cant get a car without having a job about six months ago i was given 2500 dollars from a family member to buy a car but i decided to blow it all on pills =].(huge dummy) Pills ruined my life!! When i went to detox it was at first because i had no choice (no money) but after kicking the habit i decided it was stupid to continue but i suffered from Paws heavily so about a week after leaving detox and consulting with the counselors there we decided it would be a good idea to go on suboxone maintenance. Made an appointment with a sub doctor and with my health insurance (my dads health insurance) i would have to pay 20 for group counseling sessions once weekly and another 20 once a month for seeing the actual sub doctor. I thought this was all do-able at the time until my second week and the doc wrote me a script for subs and i paraded my happy a** to the nearest rite-aid to pick up the prescription just to find out that the co-pay for a month supply is 100 bucks or 50 with a coupon. I was able to get a two weeks supply by having the doctor change my script from a month to every two weeks and only pay 25 dollars with the coupon. I had 15 bucks on me because i called my insurance company and they assured me the prescription would cost me $15 only so i had to call in a "favor" with a street pharm and we exchanged goods for currency. now repeat this for 1 month and that's how long i was on subs from doc. One day i couldn't come up with the money for the Dr visit and had to defer the payment till next week the receptionist informed me that the Dr is going an vacation for a little while and will be coming in a week early making my next Dr visit 60 bucks in total 20 for the payment i deferred 20 for next weeks group and 20 for the Dr visit a week early. That was the end of the line for me at the time i wasn't working and didn't end up finding a job until three weeks later. due to the fact that i was only taking 1 8 mg strip a day half in the am and half at night i was able to keep taking my supply i had from the doc until i found a landscaping job but it was fall up here so it was only temporary. I started buying from people i know one here one there usually getting one and then not having one for the next day or so always feeling like shit. This went on until my daughter was born. A week before she was born i was "hooked up" with a "legit" job waterproofing basements and after working a full week and getting a nice paycheck i contemplated buying a bunch of subs and just getting off them but i figured because i had a "legit job" i didn't need to and could continue taking my one sub a day split in two. the Monday my daughter was born i had to call out and i haven't been called back in since Im being told "things are slow" by the guy who got me in and told me it was legit. Sooo im pretty pissed off not only at myself but just my situation i have absolutely no support from anybody or anything i cant take care of my child because i'm 4 days into a withdraw and can barely take care of myself my girlfriend (baby momma) is ready to leave me because she has her own issues and thinks that mine are stupid. Idk what to do i haven't slept in 2 days because of RLS i don't even want to be quitting this shit every time i quit pills i ended up becoming so depressed and in chronic pain due to some shit that happened in Afghanistan while i was in the army. I really don't know what to do anymore i don't see a light at the end of the tunnel i just see me not wanting to feel like shit everyday and would do anything to make this go away... This scares me. I need advice!


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 Post subject: Re: Hell and back again
PostPosted: Wed Jan 20, 2016 1:38 am 
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Can the VA or any veteran support organizations help you?

Amy

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 Post subject: Re: Hell and back again
PostPosted: Wed Jan 20, 2016 12:07 pm 
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Sorry for what you're going through. I'm not sure I completely followed your story as far as where you are with your doctor right now. I have found over the years that people can get by on surprisingly small amounts of Sub. Maybe you can get a couple and take 2mg a day until you get back to work. It should at least allow you to sleep through the night. Try to keep it under your tongue for 15 min. without swallowing (or talking), and then don't eat, drink or smoke for another half hour.

When you can get back to the doc maybe he can prescribe you 1/2 a film a day, which would be much cheaper, and would probably be sufficient after you've only been taking 2 for a while. Many, many people maintain on 4mg/day. Or maybe you could get a generic instead?

I also agree with Amy, reach out to the VA or any other social service organization you can get to. I know they are few & far between in many areas, and there are waiting lists. But it sounds like you could benefit psychiatric treatment for your trauma.

Keep talking to us, we'll help you in any way we can.


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 Post subject: Re: Hell and back again
PostPosted: Thu Jan 21, 2016 2:10 pm 
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The V.a will not help me with subs all they have offered me is rehab without subs and Im not a big fan of the v.a to begin with i avoid it like the plague because they have done absolutely nothing for me in the past besides make me wait months for simple appointments then canceling them last second while im waiting in the lobby lol. I feel alot better today compared to when i posted this the only symptoms i feel of the w/d's are a sour stomach & really really bad rls which is causing me to not sleep . On the subject of my doctor visits maybe i missed explaining the situation but i am no longer in any suboxone program i couldn't pay them so i couldn't go anymore it was only 60 dollars but when you don't anything its kinda a big amount i asked my family and tried to explain to them but to no avail they called me a drug addict and said im just trying to get high still "We wont support your bad behavior" is what they said. Im starting to think maybe i could go on without using subs anymore but how do i control all these issues i have? like RLS (which i get every time im clean no matter how long) insomnia, im pretty sure i have like IBS or something cause when i get clean i also have a really bad stomach that last until i use again. I just really want to feel normal and that's my main goal in life.


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 Post subject: Re: Hell and back again
PostPosted: Thu Jan 21, 2016 5:01 pm 
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Hey Winter :)

I'm sorry ur going through this, it's unfair that some ppl who can't afford sub can't go to a Dr and get it. There's got to be a way though. I know u said ur family refused to help out financially, sometimes family that doesn't know the positive effects that sub brings, they have to be shown how great it really is. Can u try to sit them down and convince them? I know it's a long shot but desperate times calls for desperate measures. I know u said that u don't like dealing with the VA but if it's ur only option then I'd do it. U never know what the future will bring, it could be worth trying again.

All in all I don't know exactly how to help u with advice on financial part of getting a sub Dr but I hope u can think of something. I know that when u have no money coming in, $60 is very hard to come by. But I'd give almost anything to only pay that amount considering what I have to pay. Ur lucky to have to only come up with that amount, even though it's still definitely hard on u. I sure hope something good comes ur way in order for u to continue ur treatment, I really feel for u. Maybe u could find a rehab that includes suboxone in their treatment process. Please don't give up yet!!

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 Post subject: Re: Hell and back again
PostPosted: Thu Jan 21, 2016 10:01 pm 
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No matter what i do or say family help is out the door as well as friends because they are all addicts themselves. I'm not going to the V.A for this problem they will put me through hell and then tell me i have to go to detox then rehab which to me is equal to jail. Today is day 5 no subs and in the last three days i've gotten about 6 hours of sleep so like 2/h a day and the only symptoms i have besides being really tired is a messed up stomach & RLS which is killing me because it prevents me from sleeping and its driving me insane. I read online that loperamide aka Imodium helps a lot with withdraws so i checked to see if i had it and i did i hope it works because i need sleep. If i do make it out of this alive im gonna maybe find a way to get medicaid and try to start fresh at another sub clinic. If that doesnt work then im not sure what will happen because i know from previous detoxing that even weeks after stopping opiate's i felt like crap and still had withdraw symptoms, im sure suboxone is a lot worse but idk because the longest ive been off the subs is 7 days. In my opinion the withdraws are alot worse from subs then opiates.


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