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PostPosted: Sun Jan 20, 2013 3:28 am 
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okay, so I'm going to copy/paste my latest blog entry, cuz it explains everything,
in detail, and frankly,
Im tired, so tired of telling this horrific story today.

it hurts so much. my heart just aches.
I didn't use today, and THATS progress...... that's about the best thing I can say.


SATURDAY, JANUARY 19, 2013

Worst day, ever.
Title says it all.......
I was hesitant on posting ANY of this. it's both very highly personal, and very painful.
but I said I'd be 100% honest,
so that's what I'm going to do.
I will start at the very beginning.
so, just before Christmas this detective came to our house, ten at night. Asked Mike a whole
shitload of questions, about some 26 year old woman, who lives out on Fern hill road in Astoria.
I'm not going to say her name, just yet.....
Until this all gets worked out, EVEN THOUGH I'd really love to tell ALL Of you......
a million and one questions, and of all things about "sexual harassment"
Mike couldn't even REMEMBER the ride, because it had been THREE WEEKS prior.
Actually, she rode to portland, and back, on December third.
the detective came just before Christmas........................
At the time of "questioning"
Mike was very confused, frustrated, irritated, you name it.
he immediately called his boss, after the detective left.
His BOSS said that in the last two years, this "kinda thing" had happened at least three times.
Where these women, trying to get money out of the insurance, you know, some kind of "award"
His boss assured him,
obviously they didn't have "enough" to take him to jail.
Mike sighed a breath of relief, and went right back to work the next day. His boss said,
"mike, your the best driver I've had, yet, don't worry about this man"
~~~~
That was the weekend before Christmas......
I looked up his paperwork from December third, I saw the name, didn't really "click" that I knew
her or anything, figured, his boss must be right, and didn't say much.
I did ask him,,,
are you SURE you didn't like "accidentally flirt" or something?
he says, NO, I don't think so?
but he really was fuzzy on the details, I mean if you think about HOW MANY people he gives rides to, sometimes three trips to portland and BACK each day,,,
I guess I can see HOW it'd be confusing.
so, I was you know, just TRYING to figure out why someone would say such a thing?
why they wouldn't contact his BOSS for starters.
so we went and drove past the driveway, didn't go up to the house or anything, just went down the road and past the driveway, to sorta try and "jog" his memory.
he remembered that her mother rode with her, on the way over there,
but not on the way back because she had a different appointment time.
so,
he tells me, OH now I remember.
WELL, what happened, WHAT I remember was like, she was talking both her mother and her were talking actually alot on the way TO portland, you know, LOTS of people talk to me, it's a boring ride.
but,
I distinctly remember, on the way back, she was VERY quiet.
Mike's boss constantly "screens" his riders/clients and kind of does an "evaluation" asking about the service he provided, ETC.
so he says ON the way back she didn't say hardly TWO WORDS to me,
and I thought she was mad or something.
I was trying to kinda smooth things over,,,,, My boss called in the middle of a ride, and my phone
lit up. It's mounted to the dash, since he uses a bluetooth, anyways, I guess she sees the picture on his phone, of me and sam.
she asked him, "is that Amber?"
He said yes, and explains we're married.
Mike says, he thought NOTHING of it, but just kept driving, dropped her off, and at the end of the day he tried calling to apologize for "whatever" might have been wrong. he was super worried, his boss would ask her how he did, and she was going to complain about SOMETHING.
So, he tried twice, no answer.
he says he wrote a text message, just saying I hope that everything went okay for you today,
I didn't mean to make you mad or uncomfortable, you seemed upset on the way back from Portland,
and I apologize if I did in fact do something to make you angry.
now, this is all stuff I've gotten out of Mike just today......
BECAUSE
at 9am the sheriff came and arrested him for felony sex abuse.
Yep, can you believe this shit???
first of all,
Sam was at my mother's house, thank god.
So we stayed up late last night, like really late.
I promised he could sleep in today, I had planned on taking sam to the park with some of his friends.
WELL
knock knock knock at the door.
I had fallen asleep in the recliner, and I thought it was the neighbor,,,,,,,,,,,LOL
so I ignored it the first few times.
it just got LOUDER AND LOUDER
I was like WTF????
and flung the door open, there was the Sheriff.
he says,
Is Michael here?
Im like yea, but he's asleep.
WELL you need to wake him up, he says, real pissy like.
Im like, well I don't think you want me to, but okay I will.
I asked what it was about he says, he needs to speak with Michael.
I'm like OKAY mr. your in charge. No, I didn't say that part. LOL
the guy was a total ASS from the start, seriously.
now , NOW that I know what he's being charged with, I guess I can SORTA understand it.
but what the hell ever happened to innocent until proven guilty????
Anyways,
back on topic here.
So he comes in behind me,
asked if there was anybody else in the house, besides us, I say No our son is at my mothers.
Again, being the real nice cop he is,
I say, "mike there's a cop here, you gotta get up baby"
he opens ONE EYE and the cop and now his sidekick, mr. nice number two,
SHOUTS
"get up Michael we have a warrant for you arrest"
mike says,
WHAT???? what the hell for???
and gets himself sat up to the side of the bed.
he's in his underwear, by the way.
LOL
Mr. sidekick ,
shouts again, we have a warrant your coming with us, get off your fucking ass now
Mike shouts back, now coming to his feet,
WHAT AM I GOING TO JAIL FOR?????
and crosses his arms, across his chest, still in his underwear.
nice cop number one,
YELLS< about 12 inches from his face,
IM NOT ASKING AGAIN, YOUR PUTTING YOUR HANDS BEHIND YOUR BACK , NOW
I walk down the hall, I can tell shits getting heated.
the cop TRIES TO GRAB MIKE'S arms,
and mike STEPS BACK, toward the bed.
they BOTH then proceed to tackle him, like wolves or something,
and drag him by the neck into the hall, out of the bedroom, tearing down our bedroom
curtains, ripping all the plugs outta the wall, along the way.
Mike's screaming now.
"ouch what the F did I do?"
why the F am I going to jail, Im NOT AN ANIMAL MAN, that fing hurts!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
they threaten to taze him,
and he quiets down, but they are still on him like wolves.
it was horrible, horrific and something I NEVER want to see again.
I felt pain in my heart, more than, I don't even know.
Mike's about as bi-polar as you can get, and he does FINE most of the time,
but tear him OUT of bed on saturday morning,
and just treat him like some kind of animal?
yea, not good results.
so they get him into the livingroom, and at some point in time they called for "back up"
yea, really, Im not even joking.
so NOW there's FIVE COPS at my house, all because mike refused cuffs, until they told him
WHAT his warrant was for.
I just got back from visiting him,
he's in a bright yellow jumpsuit, chained at the ankles and waist.
he says, they don't take him anywhere without the chains, because his charge is felony sex abuse,
forcing himself on that woman.
yea, unbelievable.
he says, he's by himself, because all sex offenders are, and that they are treating him like
an animal trapped in a cage, the scum of the earth.
I looked in his eyes,
I saw nothing but pain and sadness, he says, " I swear amber, I swear on our son, I did not do this"
do you believe me?
yes, yes I do mike.
If he HAD done something, here's the thing, IF HE DID, it would have been a totally different
reaction with the detective.
he wouldn't have TRIED to tell me every detail then. he wouldn't have been so disgusted, so
like confused.......
he would have been mad, and like F THIS,,,, as he usually is when he makes a mistake.
he's so full of hurt, shame and confusion, he's painful to look at.
his boss wants him BACK at work, as soon as he's released,
he also says, he thinks it'll all work out, in court, it's just getting to the court date that's the
pain in the ass.
Yep, your telling ME dude.
So,
I get home and I look up this person.
I do know her, mike said she knew my name, when she saw my picture. he remembers THAT MUCH.
So,
also< I look up the address, of where she went to the doctor, and it's a pain management center.
any bells going off yet?????
they should be.
so, as I'm looking at photos,
I see a few people that I used to let's just say at THIS juncture, have "business" with.
at one point, some one's sister,
sold me some bunk pills.
In return, I ripped of her sister, for about $350,
the bunk pills were $200
WELL
guess what?
the "sister"
was mikes rider.
Im NINETY PERCENT SURE.
where do we go from here?????????????????
I have no fucking idea.
My stomach hurts my heart aches,
and my baby boy just wants his daddy.
I did this, I think,,,,,
IM THE REASON..........................
will anyone believe ME over her???????
stay tuned.
I'll keep y'all posted.
so I think the courthouse is closed Monday, it's a holiday.
but Tuesday he should get arraigned, in his fashionable jumpsuit, at 115pm
I really , sincerely hope they see he's
"no flight risk"
and has a stable job, home, and family...........
and NEEDS TO WORK to help support us.
I don't even want to THINK about him having to do time for this.
I just am absolutely dumbfounded, someone can SAY something like this.
and it RUINS ANOTHER FAMILY, completely.
seriously.
this is seriously bad.
arrest records, are PERMANENT.
well, I think you can get them "cleared" for a couple grand.
all I can say is,
I somehow made it through the day without using drugs.
I wanted to, yes.
but I didn't do it.
I'd also love to have a drive up to you know who's house and have a "talk" with her.
but my friend, advised it wasn't a great idea.
so,
Im signing out,
from the worst day ever,
the hardest day, ever
still sober.
thanks for reading

you know, i forgot something.
I've known this man for 13 years..... he really (used to at least) loved his new job.
I highly, highly doubt he'd do something so unthinkable, and risk everything we've
worked sooooo freaking hard for.
and IF
and IF I say he in fact WAS a cheater, don't you think he would have cheated,
when I was "off" using drugs, not having any kind of relationship with him???
I think so. this just doesn't add up to ME..... NONE OF IT
that's just a small part of the reason, Im here, right beside him, same as he was
for ME< when I went through all my shit.
I'm here for you babe.....................

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hold it together, when everyone would understand if you fell apart
That's TRUE STRENGTH
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PostPosted: Sun Jan 20, 2013 4:20 am 
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I've already emailed you, etc., but I want to express my support here as well!

For any of you who haven't figured it out already, Amber is a stellar human being and she and her husband do not deserve this vindictive shit! The woman who is doing this to them is an evil human being!

The point for you, Amber, is that you have to stay strong for Mike and Sam. This may be the hardest thing you have to get through during your recovery, but you CAN get through it without using! The pain is significant and on-going, but you do not have to use. Sam NEEDS his mom sober!!

Amber I believe in you and I believe in Mike because of you. This is one of the shittiest things that could happen to you guys, and it's such utter and complete bullshit!

ANYTHING you need, I'm here for. Keep strong.

Hugs to you,

Amy

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PostPosted: Sun Jan 20, 2013 3:23 pm 
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Wow! I'm really sorry for what you're going through...I can't imagine the amount of stress you must be under!
It all sounds so "fishy!" I don't know much about the law, but I'm pretty sure that in order for charges and an arrest warrant to be brought against someone, the district attorney's office has to be presented with at least a reasonable degree of compelling evidence or, at the very least, a pretty solid sounding story from the "victim."
You certainly don't have to divulge anything here, but I'm wondering about a few questions you might want to seek answers for...Is the accuser underage? Could the person who rode with her be conspiring with her as a witness to this supposed act? Has your husband even been informed of exactly what he's being accused of....rape, inappropriate sexual advances or harassment, sexually suggestive text messages or phone calls (you mentioned that he'd contacted her after the job to try to learn what she was upset about) or is he accused of touching her sexually or what? I imagine you've already racked your brain (and his) for those answers, but I'd damn sure want to know exactly what he's being accused of that was enough to warrant his arrest.
Another thing I wondered is if he's got an arrest record or any previous similar allegations that would lead the DA's office to think this gal's accusations are credible. I don't know...like I said it just seems like something else might be at play. Does this gal have 'connections' with law enforcement by any chance?
I also wanted to tell you to not feel guilty about this yourself....even if this does come down to a grudge against you from the past, this gal and her sister or whoever weren't just innocently victimized by you over the drug deal issue. They were guilty for their own bad behavior too!
Most importantly of all....You've got to find a way to get him a decent lawyer ASAP! That one thing is often the only thing that makes or breaks the outcome. Oh and the other most important thing....Do NOT under any circumstances, no matter how bad you want to, make any contact of any kind with the accuser! That could very easily land you in court. It's just a bad, bad idea. And the obvious...keep off any drugs besides your Sub! You know that as badly as you'd like to use, it'll only make matters worse in the long run.
Again, I'm very sorry for you...what a nightmare! I deeply hope that your husband is completely innocent and this is all a lame attempt to cause you distress! If that turns out to be the case....I'd sue the crap out of her for false arrest, slander (or whatever) and loss of wages, emotional distress, etc!
Keep us posted if you can or feel free to PM me if I can help in any way. From what I can gather from your postings here, you're a kind person who's working really hard to turn your life around and you certainly don't deserve this!


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 Post subject: wishing u peace
PostPosted: Sun Jan 20, 2013 4:00 pm 
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i can not imagine the torment that you are in right now. just want to give my condolences to u

U ARE A STRONG SMART AND VERY CARING WOMAN

wishing u the most strength


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PostPosted: Sun Jan 20, 2013 4:27 pm 
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Amber my prayers are with you and your famil!

God Bless

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PostPosted: Sun Jan 20, 2013 4:49 pm 
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Amber, in addition to what everyone else has already said, I wanted to remind you to make sure you take care of yourself. With the stress you're under, it could be pretty easy to lose track of everything you've gained since being on Suboxone and I just wanna make sure you remember to take things one day at a time, one step at a time.

I hope everything works out soon.

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 Post subject: couple questions?
PostPosted: Sun Jan 20, 2013 6:12 pm 
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What kind of setting is yr husband working in? Driving a small bus or van or something? For what type of population? Medical rides? It seems kind of damning that he texted her that message...Why would he have thought that he did something to upset her? Are drivers supposed to be communicating with the people they drive in that way from their phones? Even if it was only because he was trying to be a good guy, which I'm sure he was, it still seems kinda odd unless it's a regular occurance or allowed by his employer. I'm 100% with you and there are liars and manipulative people in the world, she's likely involved in the narcotic game to some degree so who knows what her real deal is....My prayers are with you and your husband!

Travis

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PostPosted: Mon Jan 21, 2013 2:13 am 
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Omg Amber, I can't believe you ave to go through an ordeal like this, stay strong!

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PostPosted: Mon Jan 21, 2013 2:19 pm 
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Amber, I dont have time to write a proper reply right now, but I'm praying for you and your family.
Lilly


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PostPosted: Mon Jan 21, 2013 3:49 pm 
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I'm sorry Amber, I can't imagine going through all that. I nearly lost my mind when my husband was pulled over for a broken tail light and was taken to jail because of an old warrant in another state. I can't imagine having to deal with all the extra circumstances that surround this situation. I hope it is resolved fairly. Stay strong. *hug*


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 22, 2013 10:50 pm 
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so, thanks for the support, IM HANGING IN THERE


i'll try and answer SOME of your guys' questions.....
first of all, we got together, just a few days after my 18th bday, and someone, I cannot really say who
pressed charges on him, for ME
by the time it all got "figured out" that I was iN FACT 18 when we met, we didn't even do "anything" until I was 19, Im being 100 % honest, about that, too.
anyways, he plea bargained, cuz he'd been in jail for three months, already.
so it LOOKS BAD< yes, when they look at his previous arrest record.
it was also FOURTEEN YEARS AGO
and we've been together, since.

and yes, medical rides, yes a van, and YES he's REQUIRED to confirm each ride, each appointment time,
be there when they come out of the dr. 's office.
if ANYONE requires assistance of ANY kind, they must have a medical attendant.
so this chick walked, on her own and everything.

I think that covers the questions?
and yes, he did text her, cuz he was afraid she was going to complain. he's said the very exact same story from the beginint, I HAD SOME details confused, becuz of all the fucking stress, as you can probably imagine?
so I'm sure some of what IVE SAID
is confusing.
but according to the attorney, he's been truthful from the very begining STARTING with that investigator that came to the house.
so that's a positive note, I guess.

that's what your past can get you, ya know?
the attorney couldn't say, yea his PAST conviction, makes NO SENSE and he's been with the same woman 13 years.

furthermore,
we've been in counseling since I went on suboxone, he'd see someone himself, then we'd do the marriage counseling together.
the lawyer looked at EVERYTHING for almost the last two years today, and said that it shows alot,
it shows if he WAS gonna be unfaithful or something, then the damn counselor, would know, too.

and so far, yes, she's saying he FORCED himself on her.
i don't believe it for ONE MINUTE.
not at all.
he's NEVER been that kinda guy, he doesn't even like to PRETEND like that, with ME.
make sense?

one more thing, here.

this is like some measure 11 bullshit, where the MIN mandatory is 75 months, the max is 10 years.

even IF he did in fact cheat, I don't think he deserves ten years.

but the night, I gave him the "third degree"
he swore to me, nothing happened.
and I believe him

oh yea, and he did remember, this ride, when he looked up the paperwork, IM The one that drove by her
house, after I saw she went to some kind of pain clinic.
So, I had that way wrong, in the first entry up ther,e and I'm sorry.

this is so overwhelming.
they just came and took him, ripped him right outta bed, and now here I am,
with my son,
and he's asking me every fifiteen minutes WHERE is my DADDY???????????

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its the easiest thing in the world to do, but to
hold it together, when everyone would understand if you fell apart
That's TRUE STRENGTH
http://almostoneyearclean.blogspot.com/


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 22, 2013 11:01 pm 
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one more thing,,,,,,
k, well he's just NEVER been that sorta guy?
he's the sorta guy to tell other, guys have some respect for your wife, man.
about looking at other women, anything really.

when I was you know, robbing and stealing every night he never ever didn't come
home, I never once thought he'd been sneaking around,
anything like that.

we actually had sorta an "open" relationship, before we were married,
I don't want to go into details, but I KNOW if something did happen with this
chick he would have told me, that night, the detective was here.

I even told him, IF ANYTHING happened, tell ME NOW.....
and he completely broke down, because he thought i didn't believe him.

he might be a LOT of things, but a rapist, or even a cheater, isn't one of them.

I've ran EVERY SINGLE scenerio, thru my mind a thousand times since saturday.
every single one.

and nothing, NOTHING makes sense.

this "date in question"
was a monday, and we went to dinner just the night before for my birthday.
so what,
he raped some chick on the way HOME in the freaking medical van???
the morning after him and I had been up til two am,
having sex ??????????//

really?

I don't think so.

thanks, really for all the kind words.
and I'm not mad at all about the questions, I was only trying to explain.

this is the HARDEST THING I've ever had to deal with.
EVER

but I'm hanging on

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anyone can give up,
its the easiest thing in the world to do, but to
hold it together, when everyone would understand if you fell apart
That's TRUE STRENGTH
http://almostoneyearclean.blogspot.com/


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 22, 2013 11:07 pm 
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Amber I could write all day about how much bullshit this is. It's obvious It's a junkie trying to get s settlement. Instead of me ranting for 30 minutes, I'll leave with this. Fuck that bitch, stay strong for you, your hubby and your son.

You're amazingly strong for maintaining your recovery through this. Stay strong Amber you've come so far and this will end up being just another bump in the road.

Hugs and prayers from me and my family.

-Andrew


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 22, 2013 11:10 pm 
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one thing, I'm having trouble with today is

his boss won't tell me ANYTHING now, about these "past allegations with other drivers"

that night, the investigator was here,
he calls his boss right after they left,
and his boss says, well I wouldn't worry, we've had issues like this in the past,
and it "worked itself out"

and now he just won't tell me anything...........

weird, right?

and it SEEMED like in court today, that the past charge and the "assualting an officer at time of warrant"
had a whole bunch to do with why they wouldn't reduce bail.

but the attorney's trying, he's trying and that's way more than I can say about anything I saw
that public defender do for any of HIS clients, today

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That's TRUE STRENGTH
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PostPosted: Tue Jan 22, 2013 11:16 pm 
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Amber, please don't feel like you have to give us the exact correct information about this story. You don't owe us an explanation! I think that folks are just being curious about the circumstances because it's horrifying to think that it's this easy to try to ruin someone's life. We want to look for some cause and effect, some reasonable explanation, because this is a scary effing story!

If it's too much for you, you don't need to give us the details. You can just say that you would appreciate support and grace from us right now because you're going through such a difficult time. I really want you to take care of yourself and not worry about this thread and correcting people's misconceptions.

Lastly, I can't speak for everyone who replied to this thread, but I do think that all of us just wish you well. Our questions come from a place of concern for you. You have helped so many people at this forum, it's your turn to be supported by us.

Amy

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PostPosted: Wed Jan 23, 2013 1:03 am 
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Amy-Work In Progress wrote:
Amber, please don't feel like you have to give us the exact correct information about this story. You don't owe us an explanation! I think that folks are just being curious about the circumstances because it's horrifying to think that it's this easy to try to ruin someone's life. We want to look for some cause and effect, some reasonable explanation, because this is a scary effing story!

If it's too much for you, you don't need to give us the details. You can just say that you would appreciate support and grace from us right now because you're going through such a difficult time. I really want you to take care of yourself and not worry about this thread and correcting people's misconceptions.

Lastly, I can't speak for everyone who replied to this thread, but I do think that all of us just wish you well. Our questions come from a place of concern for you. You have helped so many people at this forum, it's your turn to be supported by us.

Amy



THANKS,,, and HONESTLY I know, I don't need to explain anything/everything, I guess I just WANT everyone
else to see what I do?
or something...... Like I don't mind answering any of the questions, because it all makes sense to me, I'm not trying to hold anything back, or anything like that.

this is all,,, very superbly difficult.....

sometimes, I just "lose it"
but I pull myself together, pretty quickly and keep going....... it's so great, how much support I've gotten from friends,
and strangers, and people I'd never expect would really care, but REALLY DO VERY MUCH.........

makes me hold on to hope even MORE that the truth will eventualy prevail.

you know, that there IS GOOD somewhere in this world, and this is just a test,
a test of my ability to stay off dope,
and be a real "grown up" and deal with things...........something I've never done before.

thanks, everyone
and Like I said, in one of my three posts, LOL
I didn't take any of the questions the wrong way, I was honestly trying to answer them all ,,,
you know it's definitely NOT the worst question I've had to answer these last 72 hours!!

I'm holding on to hope tonight,,,,,, for whatever reason.... that this night mare will end, soon

_________________
anyone can give up,
its the easiest thing in the world to do, but to
hold it together, when everyone would understand if you fell apart
That's TRUE STRENGTH
http://almostoneyearclean.blogspot.com/


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 23, 2013 11:21 am 
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Joined: Wed Nov 28, 2012 12:45 am
Posts: 67
Wow, Amber! Thanks for answering our questions. Amy is right, though, you don't need to feel you "owe" anyone here answers, that's for sure.
I think, like you, we're just trying to pull this scenario together to somehow have it make sense.
Your husband is very fortunate to have you standing by him through something like this. Sadly, I do think his past record plays into this.
This is an issue for many of us with addiction....because of this disease, we do crap that causes our "character" to oftentimes be questioned...not because we deserve it now, but because of our history. And I hate that.
Anyway, please know you're being prayed for. As I said in my previous post....if this all proves to be baseless accusations, I'd go after whoever I could, legally, of course.
As to how his boss is acting...I'm betting that is all just CYA. He's probably been advised to keep his mouth shut. So don't read too much into it.
Keep strong!


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 Post subject: UPDATE
PostPosted: Thu Jan 24, 2013 2:38 am 
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Joined: Tue Nov 01, 2011 11:48 pm
Posts: 1346
Location: oregon coast
so,,, heard from the lawyer, FINALLY

my stomach was just in knots, questioning everything I believed.... all day long.....
and everytime he called, Im like
"stay strong for US, do not give up now,,, they can't take your HOPE AWAY,, they can try but they can't!!"
don't break, you know, all this stuff like that,
and on the INSIDE of myself,,
im breaking,,,,,
slowly but surely,,, wondering if he'll be locked away like some animal for six years or MORE.
and all kinds of shit like that......
it's just so incredibly difficult......

so anyways,
the lawyer calls at 530
he says,
"are you ready to hear the allegations?"
YEP I AM,,, just what the HELL are we dealing with here?
he says,
well the allegation is that he groped her upper thigh and crotch area with clothing on, somewhere along the road,
on the ride back
Im like SERIOUSLY????
he says, yep

Im like someone can get SIX YEARS Mandotory sentence for TOUCHING A THIGH???
he says, well,,,,,,,
it's sketchy.... becuase for it to even BE the charge he's got,,, it's a stretch....
the "actual charge" they should have filed on him... is a mistemeanor.
Im like OMG....
this is NOT HAPPENING!!!!!!!!!!!
I mean,
it's good, yes,, cuz it'll never ever hold water,, ever.
especially since it took her three weeks to REPORT THE GROPE!!

the lawyer is busy filling all the papers, everything to the DA to see if they'll look at it all and "drop the case"
but won't know any of that, til late next week.
AND,
his release hearing, isn't until monday,,,,, and the charge will stay the same til then,,, so the lawyer says he'll present
the same papers, he's getting prepared for the DA, to the judge monday, and hopefully he/she sees that this is not going to hold ANY WATER what so ever,
and let him out.
but it's a SLIM chance still and don't get my hopes up.

he says, too,,,,,,, NOW what about the assualt charges? I say,,, what about it?
do you want hinm to plea to something lessor?
NO
NOT GUILTY!!!!
I said,,,,
I sat down AS SOON AS THEY LEFT WITH HIM and wrote every single thing down,,,
four pages of hand written statement.
AND,,,,
when they were HERE,,,, when the cop asked me to get him,,, I said, please give him a couple
of minutes to wake up,
he is DOCUMENTED as bipolar and PTSD the last six years, and on meds for both,,, he just needs to wake up a minute
then IM SURE he'll talk to you.
he of course did NOT tell me they were taking him...........
AND,,,
I took pictures of my bedroom,,, the mess they left, the curtains torn down the cords all ripped from the wall,
everything ripped apart, and BOOT MARKS UP the wall three feet.
he was in his UNDERWEAR
and when he stood up he had his arms folded across his chest, when that cop went to grab him, he stepped BACK
from them and they pounced....
just how the HELL is that assualt?
he's the one that left, with a bloody nose, scraped up arms and everything else......

I don't know how THAT ONE will turn out, but IM FIGHTING EVERYTHING for him
how is it resisting arrest, or even assualt,
when he should have NEVER been arrested in the first damn place?

It's all THEIR GAME right now, we have to play by THEIR RULES and jump thru all their
hoops.
we'll make it, though.
I couldn't tell him any of this, yet.... because they record every single thing we say, and they will use anything and everything they can against him, that's what the lawyer keeps saying.
anyways,
I told him,,,, I spoke with the lawyer and he'll be in to tell you all the GOOD STUFF tomorrow afternoon.
he says,,,
"I can HEAR the relief in your VOICE amber"
I sorta laughed, I said GOOD, you should know that you ARE going to walk with your head held high again very soon
he did sound much, much better.
I know I MUST sound better.
Im not soooooo freaked out now, at least.
at least I feel like he's got half a shot to beat this thing now.
it's been
tough,,,, NOT to go beat the living SHIT outta you know who.......

I'm not going to....... it's just hard, how ONE thing can go soooo far.....
It's overwhelming at times.......
I'm trying to think of it, as a "test" a test of everything we've fought for.. the last 13 years....
AND
to prove to HIM that it's MY TURN to not leave HIS SIDE..... like he didn't leave MY SIDE
when I just didn't get it "right" all those times before..... when I tried to quit pills and "it was different" this time.
he never gave up on me.
he was frustrated, hurt and discouraged.... but he knew there was good in me somewhere and it would come out eventually.........
well that sure paid off for him huh?
LOL
Im in a better mood, but this is still very difficult......

OH and
my son's preschool teachers "cornered" me this morning
it's about the MOST AWFUL feeling ever,,,, telling your KIDS teacher, that HIS DAD's been arrested for rape.
yea, you should have seen the looks.......
anyways,
I have to have a "family visit" thing on friday.
Im okay with whatever makes things easier on my son.....
they're going to bring what they call feeling sheets with them, so he can color different pictures of facial expressions
and stuff, and share his feelings.
it's good, hopefully it WILL HELP HIM
becuase he doesn't know what's going on... he knows his daddy misses him and loves him,
but he's just FRUSTRATED about the whole situation.
he ALWAYS asks for him at bedtime.....
he always asks when we drive up to the house,
is my daddy here yet?

ANYWAYS
it will be over soon... not soon enough, cuz he should have never been there.... but the nightmare will
end now, there's LIGHT at the END OF THE TUNNEL

with that,,,
im signing off.
keep us in your thoughts and prayers though.... we still have a very long road ahead of us.
a very long road......
but I won't back down,
Im not going down without a fight,
and I've got my GAMEFACE on NOW, so they better watch out

_________________
anyone can give up,
its the easiest thing in the world to do, but to
hold it together, when everyone would understand if you fell apart
That's TRUE STRENGTH
http://almostoneyearclean.blogspot.com/


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Jan 24, 2013 3:37 am 
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Joined: Sat Aug 04, 2012 11:02 pm
Posts: 1002
What happened to innocent until proven guilty? Don't they have a thing called evidence, and that evidence has to prove beyond a resonable doubt a person is NOT innocent?

What evidence could there possibly be, other than one person alleging a crime's occurred? An allegation in itself isn't enough to put someone away surely.

As for cops and their violent arrests. I hate that many people seem to think police are some kind of benevolent force that's always on the right side of morality. Bullshit they are. They're just a state sanctioned gang. The number of violent and abusive arrests I've seen, of police interpreting the tiniest bit of resistance be it taking one step back or even saying "what's this all about?", and used it as a justification to douse a guy with capsicum spray or have multiple police taze them MULTIPLE times just for flinching. We recently had the police kill someone who was already on the ground and cuffed and covered in capsicum spray. Tazers recorded he was shocked 14 times before he had a cardiac arrest. A young strong kid, Spanish tourist on his gap year ... and the crime was ... shoplifting some chewing gum.

Hearing this stuff angers me somewhat. But despite the infallibility of police, I do think the system's fair in the end. At least that's been my experience. I hope your hubby experiences the same.

We're all here for you Amber.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Jan 24, 2013 9:43 am 
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6 Months or More
6 Months or More
User avatar

Joined: Tue Mar 29, 2011 2:10 pm
Posts: 231
Location: pacific nw
Oh Ambet, I am just so sorry this happened. I am proud of you for holding it together for yourself and your family. Retaliating against that woman will not help in the long run. People like that will end up getting wjhat they deserve. I am praying for your little family.


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