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PostPosted: Mon Feb 18, 2013 5:11 am 
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Well, I am happy for you that you were finally able to get your loved one back, even though this never should have happened. It certainly could have been worse and i do understand your reasoning. It is a touchy subject and a loaded word that whenever someone hears it, it immediately makes their emotions take over and their reasoning goes out the window. It's partially that it is so unimaginable that someone could make this up.

What you mentioned about others wrongly accused, it unfortunately happens way too often. I remember seeing a story not too long ago about someone getting put to death that later found out to be wrong. Here is one of the many links:

http://thinkprogress.org/justice/2012/0 ... ?mobile=nc

I'm sure that's not the first time it happened not only because the case is put to rest, but because it is most likely covered up. It is some scary stuff... Good luck!


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PostPosted: Wed Feb 20, 2013 4:50 pm 
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PostPosted: Sat Feb 23, 2013 12:18 am 
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Well, things are pretty fucked up once again........

Mike had his "intake" appointment, with probation on Wednesday....... and you'll never guess what this PO says.....

she says first of all, he can have NO CONTACT With his SON, or any other children under 18, cannot be anywhere KIDS are peroid..... cannot live with us, cannot TALK to Sam over the phone, ETC ETC ETC
further more,
the place we bought, last July, is a manufactured home, in a "park" no it;s NOT reallly a "trailer park" becuz everybody has their own lil yard, and driveway, you know, it's not an RV park, it's all like big manufactured/modular homes. and you own the house, rent the property.
she says, he can NEVER live here, becuase he's a registered sex offender now. doesn't matter that his "crime" was against someone 27 years old,,,, she's treating him like anyone else, having to take these classes.

and guess what else???
he HAS to take that $2500 evaluation,
it's been ordered by the judge NOW, and he has 60 days to get the $$$$ together.

oh , it gets better...........
my grandma has a nice house, in a nice neighborhood, my grandpa and her moved up here, to retire, after he was a chief in the navy for 20 years...... I'm about 90% sure I'm inheriting this house,,,,, and we had it set up for Mike to stay with grandma, (grandpa died in 2004) if that's what needed to happen, when he was released from jail...
well the PO says, she will go and take a look, but it's across the street from a COUNTY PARK
where KIDS congregate, so her words exactly were "don't get your hopes up, but I'll okay it for 14 days"

Ohhhhh thanks.

Mike and I were both really nice to the PO,,, and asked if there's ANY WAY to make an exception?
NO
what do we have to do, to change this???
well you HAVE to get that evaluation done, to start the classes, and then after you start those, your looking at 3-4 months
on getting an "okay" from your therapist.

OR, a judge's order specifying, all the things you want.

WE CALLED THE LAWYER
but you know, everything takes TIME, with the courts.

IF we would have KNOWN this was going to happen, there's NO WAY he would have agreed to the plea, no fucking way.

The lawyer says, that there was no SPECIFICS laid out, in the judges orders, so the PO is just putting him under the
"umbrella" that ALL OTHER sex offenders go under.

Well, that's awesome. Im SOOOOO glad I gave this idiot two grand.

In short,.,,,,
Im a single parent yet again, Mike staying with my grandma, which is OKAY, at least I don't worry about her, falling
down or something...... but we can't all be in the same place, together, and THAT REALLY SUCKS.
Grandma was picking up sam from the daycare center he HATES, in the afternoon, but now that can't happen.

if she doesn't "approve" my grandma's house next week, we are screwed... there's a men's shelter, ONE in the county,
but it's right next to a women's/kids shelter, so the PO says no way...... I said WHERE is he SUPPOSED TO LIVE???
she says oh there's a halfway house, it's ONLY five HUNDRED a month!!!
I said, ARE YOU FUCKING NUTS????
how am I SUPPOSED To pay HIS rent, OUR BILLS (about 800),, DAYCARE (550/month) and THE evaluation TOO?????? all on 1500 a month???
her answer====
"I dont make the rules, I just enforce them"

Im hoping,,, with ALL MY HEART this lawyer can do something, and FAST.
I'm "okay"
with all the other bullshit, as long as we can LIVE HERE< together.

pray for us :wink:

can somebody punch me and WAKE ME UP ALREADY???

_________________
anyone can give up,
its the easiest thing in the world to do, but to
hold it together, when everyone would understand if you fell apart
That's TRUE STRENGTH
http://almostoneyearclean.blogspot.com/


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PostPosted: Sat Feb 23, 2013 1:03 am 
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Amber,

I'm so sorry. This is heartbreaking. Just looking from your side of it, I don't know what I would do. You are one strong mo-fo. So, what worries me is that your lawyer didn't know the terms of the plea. I would think that would be a given. I would think he would know exactly what he was helping to facilitate. I don't buy his "umbrella" answer. It sounds like he just didn't ask. Wouldn't a judge have to give specifics if the defense attorney inquired about the exact penalties/ parameters of the plea? And if it's just a standard for all convicted sex offenders, surely he would have known that?

I have no words. I'm just really sorry that you have to deal with all this on top of your recovery. It's horrific that this kind of suffering exists, layer upon layer. Hang in there please!


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PostPosted: Sat Feb 23, 2013 2:16 am 
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Thanks TD......

Im sorry I didn't mention it earlier, but I'm doing "okay" as far as my recovery goes......
I was DOWN to 8mg/day of suboxone, I'm back up to 16mg, but my dr. is like it's OKAY.... do what you NEED TO,
to stay on the right track...... so that's what I'm doing.

ALSO,
when I very first started suboxone treatment, I was going to "group" counseling, once a week, in the afternoon.
but I stopped going, cuz of my work schedule,
well IM GOING, again.... and Im the ONLY one with more than a year, but that's okay, it's actually REALLY HELPED
to "see" where I COULD be very easily, if you catch my drift......

furthermore, I am seeing my addiction counselor again, as well, ONCE A WEEK for now,
and we'll go from there.

Oh and my dr. is making me come in every single friday to boot.

so basically every other day..... I'm doing something, somewhere to make sure I don't screw up.
my addiction counselor even comes to ME. so that's nice, so Sam can play and do whatever, while we talk.

Anyways,
forgot to add that stuff.....
I think it's highly important right now to kind of treat myself like I could "trip" and fall at any moment, becuz
obviously right now, I never know what the next day brings.

Thanks,,,, IF I CAN DO THIS,, anybody can..........
it just takes a lot of work!!!!!

and ****sigh****
I'm like working on my marriage, too.
it's like,,,,, I can't really put it into words, but I'm not "feeling" a connection with him,?
right now, I think I'm soooo angry about everything? I don't know... We are in counseling, together, as well.

So, I'm doing my very best......
and I "gave in" and I have a list of five friends, within three miles of my house,
to come and get Sam, or come over and watch him, IF/WHEN I need a moment to myself.....

thanks for all your support you guys.... this is the MOST difficult situation I've ever been in.

and yea, I'm not impressed with the lawyer's answer. he said, he "figured" the PO wouldn't have a problem with
letting us be together.
hmmmmmm
guess he was wrong.

_________________
anyone can give up,
its the easiest thing in the world to do, but to
hold it together, when everyone would understand if you fell apart
That's TRUE STRENGTH
http://almostoneyearclean.blogspot.com/


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PostPosted: Sat Feb 23, 2013 9:05 am 
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Joined: Sun Mar 27, 2011 10:53 am
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I have read stories of fathers that couldnt come home to their kids while on probation for sex offenses....they make it one size fits all no matter what your sex offense is... I am so sorry your going thru this I will pray for you girl!!

If you need to talk feel free to call me

Hugs
Lisa


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PostPosted: Mon Feb 25, 2013 11:36 pm 
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This is really, really,,,,, difficult.
everything about it......

I keep telling myself,,, LOOK at the "bright side"
which is, at LEAST he's not in jail.

And, we do still love each other, very much
sometimes, I think---- RUN AMBER RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and other times,,, it's like "you can do this, you can do ANYTHING you put your mind to"

the hardest part is my son......... He does NOT understand any of it!!!!

he keeps telling me,,,
"mommy can you just let daddy come home now?"
"mommy,, I think daddy will be good for you, if you just let him sleep here"

hmmmmmm,,,,,,, I WISH it were that easy, with every fiber of my being. but it's just NOT.
and the lawyer says, he's "working on it"
I called again today, , , says it's gonna be at LEAST a week, from now, if not TWO WEEKS before we
can get in front of a judge... let's HOPE and PRAY it's not the same one, as the plea hearing.

I guess I just needed to vent a bit.
Hope you all are doing okay.
I like that saying,,,
" You don't know how strong you are, until you have no other option"
that about sums it up, for me.

_________________
anyone can give up,
its the easiest thing in the world to do, but to
hold it together, when everyone would understand if you fell apart
That's TRUE STRENGTH
http://almostoneyearclean.blogspot.com/


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PostPosted: Sun Jun 02, 2013 9:12 am 
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I see this thread is a couple months old, but i just took the time to read the whole thing. Amber im so sorry you and your family went/are going through this! You are one tough mama!!!

If it gives you even the slightest bit of comfort to know that you not the only one whos had this type of bs happen to them. Went through something very similar with my bf. The court kept postponing his sentencing, there was an election going on for the DA at the time. They worked out a plea bargin before they kept postponing the sentencing, but when they finally got on to sentencing him the DA decided to make an example out of him for the upcoming election and changed the plea offer to make him have to register as a sex offender!! Before all that everyone agreed that he would NOT have to register.

I cant remember in any of your posts describing the horrible way the police came to arrest mike, them reading him his miranda rights. Isnt it his right to know why hes being arrested? I thought that they had to read them to EVERYONE being arrested no matter what the charge.

I hope everything is at least going better for your family since your last post. Along with the others i am also praying for you and your family, amber. You are a strong human being!


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