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PostPosted: Fri Mar 29, 2013 1:47 pm 
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I have been on Suboxone for the last seven years with the exception of switching to opiates prior and post surgery in 2011.
I am a 44 year old business owner trying desperately to save his business and home. Seven years ago..before the pills and before the Suboxone I was very much a workacholic. All I did was work and think about working when I couldn't. Even when I had a cervical fusion done I was back at work that same day. It wasn't until my second major surgery that I became addicted to opiates. As with everything in my life I took it to extremes. After four near fatal overdoses I was forced to quit the pain management and begin the Suboxone therapy. Like an idiot I started on 32mg. a day which was at least four times what I needed to quit. But I was ignorant and had no idea of just how powerful a drug this was and it seemed as though my Dr. was more concerned about the quick $500.00 for a two (at most) minute visit than in listening to my health issues. He was also prescribing me Ambien for sleep issues. For the first four years I was very very sick. I had to keep a garbage can next to me at all times because for no reason at all I would throw up. Even when driving I had to pull over(when possible) to vomit. It wasn't until I had to have another surgery for a hip replacement that I finally found the culprit for my sickness. I had to go off the Suboxone prior to surgery and go back on pain pills( many many pain pills). At first I needed to take 200mg of morphine just to keep the withdraw symptoms at bay. I beleived that this was because I was on such a high dose of Suboxone that my body just needed that much just to feel normal. I don't know if this was all in my head or not but the withdraw pain was very real. Despite all the hell I went through with switching over from suboxone one good thing did come out of it, I no longer was throwing up. It turns out that I was throwing up all the time because I was simply just taking way to much Suboxone. Well after the surgery I went back to the Suboxone despite my fears of getting sick again but I wasn't able to continue with the opiates because of my sick addiction and old habits coming back. But this time I was a bit smarter and only went on 4mg of Suboxone. I took it very serious and was actually down to just 2mg and I thought I was very close to finally being off this stuff for good. But there was just one problem with only taking 2mg a day. I always felt like crap. Every morning I felt as if someone came in my room at night and beat the living hell out of me. Everything hurt, not super sharp pain but just a slow throbbing pain..everywhere. I started raising my dose to where I am at now at 12mg a day. The pain is still there but not nearly as bad with taking less. I am trying to lower my dose but it is not easy. I know that if I don't do something quickly to fix the problem that I will just get worse and need more and more Suboxone to get through the day. My question is simple and I already know the answer but any input will help.
Could my pain be from simply getting older and being much less active than when I was young and full of piss and vinegar?
If I start pushing myself harder and start working out and just get my ass moving as soon as I wake up will I be able to overcome this pain? And last but not least..Will I ever feel normal again? I have become a lazy POS ever since I became an addict. I would much rather just sit and rot than to get my ass up and moving despite my whole world going to shit from it. Has anyone out there been able to overcome this sickness and get their old life back? Is it possible?
Thank you in advance and sorry for the book.


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 08, 2013 2:51 pm 
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Sorry kelmar21 for the late response. Some times posts get lost in the system before anyone can reply to them. I'm not sure what happened to yours.

So you're 44 years old and wondering if the pain you have is related more to age than your previous injuries. Hard to say. 44 is not that old so you really shouldn't be having much age related pain. I am surely not a doctor but I do remember my physician telling me that some of the problems I was having was due to hitting 40. There are a lot more when you hit 50, believe me. But I had a physical job the majority of my life and today I feel pretty good at 58 with the exception of a bad neck which I injured years ago.

With the injuries you've suffered already, combined with low activity, I'd say it's mostly due to you not getting up and about to strengthen your muscles around your spine. Just a guess from a guy with no medical training. You know yourself a lot better than we do so you probably already know the answer to your question.

What I will say is, back when I was on a lot of pain meds for a back injury, all I wanted to do is veg out and do nothing. When I stopped the pain meds and got on Sub, my back hurt really bad for two days and then magically the pain went away. IMO, just taking pain meds and doing nothing but wanting more pain meds, I was making my back worse just to justify the pills I demanded. But now that you're on Sub I would think you should be feeling a bit better by now. So the only thing I can suggest is to get up and get active whether you like it or not. Once you get going you will feel much better. In fact, the only time my neck didn't hurt was when I was jogging. The blood flow helped with the pain I guess.

Like you, sorry for the book. And I don't even know if I answered any of your questions. If Sub is making you lazy, then keep cutting down until you have some energy. That may or may not work. All I know is even when I was down to 1 mg of Sub, it still made me sleepy. The only way I could shrug it off was to get busy doing something. Clean the house, go for a walk, find a project to work on. Whatever, just find something to do to take your mind off yourself.

Hope you start to feel better.

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PostPosted: Tue Apr 09, 2013 1:10 pm 
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Thank you for your reply. The Suboxone is not making me lazy or tired. It is the lack of Suboxone that is giving me problems. I feel better after taking it but feel like dying when I don't have enough in my system. I am being checked for liver thinking that may be my cause for fatigue. I just wish I could know if my body just can't cope without the Suboxone or if the Suboxone is helping me cope with another problem I might have. it costs me almost $600.00 a month for the Suboxone and I need to someday be off of it, but I can't work without it. It is a twisted cycle that seems to have no end. I hate living and would love for my life to just end. I can just make it through the day. I haven't felt any happiness in years due to my fatigue and pain and I just don't see how it can get better.


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 Post subject: Working out
PostPosted: Tue Apr 09, 2013 1:30 pm 
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Hey Kelmar,

I had to re-read your original post again to understand it better. Have you tried working out to see if that will help? Once again, I am not a doctor but it sounds like chronic pain combined with depression. You may not want to be on Suboxone for the rest of your life but it may be better than feeling miserable all the time. If you can find just the right dose where you feel okay and your pain is low, you may have a fighting chance of feeling better. Are you on any anti-depressants? The best advice I can give is for you to get several more opinions from some good doctors. Ask around for referrals or even ask your doctor who he would go to if he had your symptoms.

You say the Sub costs $600 a month and that one day you need to be off it. Why? Can you not afford the treatment? Yes, it is a lot of money but if you can afford it then maybe you should commit and stay on it at least until you find some answers to your problems. I don't like this talk of not wanting to live. This is serious business and I can't stress it enough for you to reach out and seek better treatment. There are answers out there, it's just that you haven't found them yet.

If you need someone to talk to, PM me and I'll give you my phone number. You got me worried dude.

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PostPosted: Tue Apr 09, 2013 3:37 pm 
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kelmar21 Welcome to the forum!

PLEASE TAKE MORE SUBOXONE. That is my advice for you. You are on a low dose and your body is in withdraw it seems like trying to adjust to the smaller dose. There is nothing to be ashamed of by taking more Suboxone so you can work and have a good life. Plus...there is no reason to get off Suboxone if this medicine is being used to treat addiction. Counseling also helps me as well. Hope things get better for you.


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 10, 2013 1:15 pm 
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Thank you everyone for your help. it is so nice to receive feedback that quickly. And please don't worry about me doing anything stupid. been there,done that. six years ago while on allot of meds I took 60 ativan along with everything else I had. Woke up in ER with a dozen tubes in me and a month stay at the funny farm. I tried it four times..you would think I would of gotten it right at least once. But the man upstairs wants me to stick around for some reason not to mention that I have 2 sons which live with me and I would never do that to them. only reason why I tried before was because I was so messed up on pain pills.
I am starting to beleive that my problem just might be that I need more Suboxone in me but I hate for that to be true. There are many reasons why I need off of it and the last thing I want to do is to build my tolerance back up. If for any reason I can't get it I will suffer dearly. I have been through Suboxone withdrawl dozens of times and it is pure hell, much much worse than any opiate withdrawl. That scares the hell out of me.
So basically my body wont function like a normal person's would without the Suboxone? Did my body just forget how to produce endorfins?
I have to admit that I have much more energy when I take more Suboxone. it is a world of difference between taking 4 mg as opposed to taking 16mg.


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 15, 2013 9:29 am 
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Hi kelmar,

I'm sorry I didn't see this post sooner, as it has much importance to itself and to me, also!

I am deeply saddened to hear you're having such a rough fricken time! You've got a lot on your plate. That can be incredibly stressful and hard to handle.

IMO, I relate 100% to your back pain. I was a passenger in a one car fatal accident. Talk about humpy dumpy. I have rods, pins and all that good stuff. I also, awoke in ICU 2 weeks later with tubes coming out of me every which way. I didn't stand a chance! I left that god damn hospital dependent on pain meds.

I did the physical therapy, the whole 9 yards. I sat like a bump on the log in misery and just wanted it to end. Until I found a osteopathic doctor who rocked my world. There's only 3 in this whole state. I finally got in and it was amazing. It's kind of like an extreme chiropractor (which I cannot go to because of my back) that examines every bone in your body. He actually tweaked and cracked so much stuff I felt overwhelmed with relief. Once he did his treatment and mri's, it then collaborated with physical therapy over time combined together. My stomach muscles were stronger than my back muscles (obviously!) and once I evened myself out, it got better. He also started me on a supplement for my bones.

It could be true because of your tolerance and build up within your body. As you probably already know, that's common for any type of long term meds. As far as getting up and going, I'm still trying to figure that one out! :)

I hope you're doing okay my friend. We all try our best to help!

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PostPosted: Mon Apr 15, 2013 12:46 pm 
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hey Kelmar,

One other thing is the fact that you might have a little bit of depression. I personally take a mild anti-depressant (lexapro) with my suboxone. Your body may not in fact be still in withdraw but maybe a little down (lack of interest in life) Good luck !


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