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PostPosted: Tue Nov 03, 2009 8:31 pm 
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Ok my story cannot be told quickly . Alcoholism and addicition have basically robbed me of everything and nearly my life if it hadnt been for quick thinking paramedics. Prior to my opiate addiction I was a full blown alcoholic meeting all the criteria to be in AA or go to rehab. My DOC wound up being heroin after going from norcos to OC and then smack via IV. I initially loved opiates because it "cured" my alcoholism. It took away the desire to drink. Obviously it produced problems of its own including hundreds of thousands of dollars on detoxes, rehabs, etc.... It has been a nightmare. Im 34 now and since I was 28 I would say I have been institutionalized at least 50% of the time probably more. Exceptions were an 11 month period of sobriety in 06 to 07 and then a 15 month period which was largely due to being in a treatment center for over a year. Yes I was in inpatient for 12 and a half months. After that I stayed sober for a little over 2 months in a halfway house and then came relapse yet again. The latest relapse was September 09. I currently have about 25 days "clean" from heroin but I have been on subox the whole time. I want to get off subox. I love AA. I have tons of friends there, it makes me feel great, and I do believe in God. I also need to get into some sort of transitional living as I cant stay at my moms for more than a week. 2 Big problems. Halfway houses wont allow suboxone and all my friends in AA ( many heroin addicts) all agree suboxone isnt sobriety. I am currently on 4 mg a day. 2 in the morning and 2 at night. Ive been on it since October 5 approx. I need answers. Im afraid to ask my AA group as theyll shun me saying Im not sober at all. But my disease has put me on the streets with nowhere to go. I need to get into a sober house. HELP!!! Im reluctant to get off subox abruptly. What should I do ???? Anyone please

Scared Shitless in Cincinnati


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PostPosted: Wed Nov 04, 2009 10:58 am 
CC - Although I don't have any real answers to your problems, I do want to say a couple of things to you.
First of all - Congratulations on the work you are doing to improve your life. It sounds like you have really struggled over the years. I'm glad that you are still alive to try sobriety again. Obviously your life has purpose and God does have a better plan for you...evidenced by the fact that you are still here!
Secondly - I do not think it's right for any person, group or institution to dictate another person's method of recovery. This is a matter of life and death. If Suboxone is what it takes to keep you alive and moving forward in your life - then that should be not only okay but encouraged. I understand your devotion to AA and your friends in the group, but knowing your history and how close to death your addiction has taken you, they should all love you enough to get over it if Suboxone is what it takes to keep you clean and alive. It 's shame that the halfway houses don't consider you clean while on Suboxone - if anything Suboxone is insurance that you won't relapse!! I don't get it!
Is there any way you could stay with your mother a while longer? It seems to me that for you to have a chance, you're going to need to stay on Suboxone for a good while. Can you imagine what you might be able to accomplish if you can stay on it for a year or more?
If there's no way that can happen, get with your doctor and lay out a tapering plan and get your support systems in place. Being on Suboxone for only a short period of time simply postpones the inevitable...you'll have to go through w/d. But if you're able to do a slow taper it should be a little more easily tolerated.
I sincerely hope everything works out for you. You've suffered enough, sacrificed enough to this disease. Do whatever it takes to keep getting better!


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 Post subject: Hang in There
PostPosted: Wed Nov 04, 2009 11:35 am 
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Dear ccmillertx,
I agree with S M F ... Do what ever it takes to stay Sober & Straight.. If that means keeping SUBOX your little secret than thats what you need to do.. I am also a full blown Alcoholic & Addict.... I have been on Suboxone since Feb. '09 And sober since June '09. I am in AA and just keep the fact that Subox is saving my life to myself... I believe it should be one of those don't ask don't tell type of issue!!!! If You have done the hard part and surended to your disease and it sounds like you have. Than do the rest and stay in a group that makes you feel comfortable and helps your deal with the day to day issuses that OUR DISEASE try's to take us down with!!! Stay Strong & Best of Luck...

Your Friend in Recovery ...
TW


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PostPosted: Wed Nov 04, 2009 9:24 pm 
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There is a difference between active addiction and treating your disease.If Suboxone gives you a better quality of life, then why does it matter? Complete sobriety is not the answer for all opiate addicts. We are in a time of change when it comes to treating addiction. Research shows us how the brain is affected by addiction and if Suboxone and other addiction treatment drugs help people stay clear of active addiction and negative consequences, that is all the evidence I need.Would you rather stay on Suboxone indefinitely or relapse every year? Sad to say, but the relapse rate in 12 step programs is above average, I would much rather not go through that hell ever again.
Do what is medically in your best interest and let other people know only what they need to know.In time there will be support groups for people in medication assisted treatment of addiction.We have to make it a reality though.

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"It is never too late to be what you might have been!" - George Eliot


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PostPosted: Fri Nov 06, 2009 6:55 pm 
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Hi CC,
Congrats on your recovery. I agree with what's already been said, so I won't be repetitive, but I would like to add:

As you likely know, there are scores of AA/NA meetings and some don't have a problem with Suboxone treatment. But of course, others are different. It's your business - if you need meetings along with Suboxone, I'd say do what you need to (within your comfort level) to keep it that way. Not everyone thinks Suboxone prevents complete recovery/sobriety. You might need to just find a meeting better suited to your needs. Remember, Suboxone will reduce your cravings, and as such can really help deter relapse. There's nothing wrong with taking it - it's no different from anyone needing any other medication for optimum health.

As for half-way houses, I have no personal experience, but I used to work at the local (county) Community Mental Health Agency. Perhaps they can assist you in finding a suitable place; it might be worth a try. They're confidential and are a great resource. If you can't find anything, maybe it would help if you told your mom why it would be better with her; that you would have less chance of relapse staying on the Suboxone, etc.

My best to you.
Good luck!

Melissa


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PostPosted: Mon Jan 04, 2010 11:52 pm 
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As a long time member of AA myself and someone who is also taking suboxone now, I would think whether you take sub or not is considered a outside issue. And the people that are telling you something differently should check out the traditions. But more then likely the people you are taking about don't know anything about that. I have been in aa since the 80's and years ago it was the same argument with people taking antideppresants. It will pass. and the reality is we are all so self centered they will stop worring asbout you.


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PostPosted: Fri Jan 29, 2010 11:35 pm 
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OP, I really admire your determination. Keep up the good work.

Also, don't let anyone tell you that suboxone isn't "true sobriety"... You're functional, you're not shooting up, you're not risking being arrested for narcotics possession, you're not missing work because you're going through withdrawal, etc...

I personally don't buy into the AA philosophy, but I don't knock it either because it does have good intentions and it has worked for many people... however the medication vs. no medication debate has been a source of controversy to AA'ers for ages. Many of the hardcore old timers don't accept using medications like methadone, or anti depressants, or even antibuse for that matter... but on the other hand they're are many AA'ers that accept the use of medications to reach a goal of sobriety.

My advice would be to find meetings with people from the latter group... the ones that don't believe that Suboxone is "cheating" or a "short cut"

I'd stay on sub for a while yet, get all your affairs in order and then maybe see about tapering off.

Hey, just my 2 cents, but I don't want you to throw away what you've worked hard for. Addiction is a bitch and can rear its ugly head anytime.


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PostPosted: Tue Sep 04, 2012 11:21 pm 
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Thank you for your thread, I have been on Soboxone for 5 months now and I am also having a hard time getting into a halfway house... in Delray Beach... the recovery capital of the U.S.!!!!


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