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PostPosted: Tue Sep 10, 2013 10:41 pm 
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Yes I had a relapse. It was hard for me to admit it at first but when I met with my dr today it actually hit me. I have my new script for Subox which I think I was short changed from last time, not enough to last, ready for tomorrow once the withdraws start and an appt with a councilor on Tuesday. I am ready for this chase to be done. I want to find out why I enjoy pills so much. Why do I like that "energy feeling" it gives me that a cup of coffee or even a monster drink can't.
I am sure there is so much more to it that is why I am going to start with a councilor.

I am glad I found this site to see others are out there like me.

Thanks


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PostPosted: Tue Sep 10, 2013 11:57 pm 
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Just a thought--- there are some addiction workers who would say that one reason for the comparative success of 12-step programs over the years is because they 'keep it simple'. The argument is that people are better off focusing on letting go of the behavior-- facing the hard fact that using days are 'simply 'over'-- rather than spending time wondering WHY they use. I think there is balance in both approaches-- but I know that part of me that rationalizes, and wants to find REASONS to use-- which we all can find pretty quickly (starting with 'my mom didn't love me!') It MIGHT be that you like pills just because you like pills.... that's the primary reason I eventually realized, after a bunch of time on couches! On the other hand, a bit of self-understanding can't be a bad thing....


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PostPosted: Wed Sep 11, 2013 8:50 am 
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Hey relivinglife,

I just want to encourage you a little bit. You had a relapse...so what? If you told your doctor and he agreed to continue your treatment then you just need to let go of it and move on in your recovery. Don't dwell on your mistakes, it just piles on more guilt and quite frankly that is something we all have enough of already!

Now, I don't say that to minimize the seriousness of a relapse. Of course you shouldn't think it's no big deal and just do it again and again. I just mean, don't let it get in the way of moving on!

We have all been there, and everyone's road to recovery takes different twists and turns. Just keep your eye on the prize my friend.

If you feel that you are in danger of relapse again, try coming here and posting about it first. Nobody here will judge you, but you might get the encouragement and strength you need to avoid a mistake. Use us for support, that's what we are here for!

I hope you have a great day!

Q

_________________
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. ~ Eleanor Roosevelt


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PostPosted: Wed Sep 11, 2013 9:07 am 
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Relivinglife,

I agree with QHorsegal, and just to go a bit further, if you were anything like me, , I knew I had to do something different than I had been doing to try and get clean. My way simply wasn't working, and if i was ever going to end the vicious cycle of relapse i had to find what was missing. I relapsed over and over, and was tired of it. I was going downhill fast, with no way out it seemed.

For ME that meant getting involved in both NA and AA support groups, and also seeking the services of a Therapist or Counselor to find out why I was doing what I was. I'm NOT saying that's what YOU need to do, only saying what finally worked for ME in the end. I'm just saying you might have to do something different than you have done before, or have been doing?

And of course it also took Suboxone to help along with the other tools. But even with everything else in place, the one thing it takes to be completely and positively 100% successful is the desire to WANT IT more than anything else you have ever wanted before in your life! The "want to" is what you must have deep inside before it will ever truly happen. If you really WANT IT bad enough, you can succeed where you may have faltered before.

Hang in there and fight for your life. You are so worth it!

Karen xoxo


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