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 Post subject: Got inducted today
PostPosted: Wed May 26, 2010 4:42 pm 
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After a month long wait my appt finally rolled around yesterday. The doctor said he didn't see a reason why I couldn't start Sub and to come back at 8am today and the starter script would be waiting for me.

After a night of no sleep I was sitting in the waiting room at 8 this morning. No script. No doctor. He finally showed up a little before 9am and apologized for dropping the ball, wrote me a script for four 2mg tabs and off I went to the pharmacy.

I have Medicaid and Medicare but my primary coverage wasn't right so I paid approx $26 cash for the four 2mg tabs just to get the ball rolling and went back to the dr office. He started me on 4mg twice a day and wrote me a script for 30 8mg tabs, to be broken in half and taken twice daily.

I didn't feel so hot after leaving the dr office but came home and after some lengthy phone convos got things straightened out with my insurance carrier. A script for 30 8mg tabs cost me $3.15 and they applied it to the script I got this morning too, so I ended up getting almost $20 back plus my script for 30 pillz.

So I'm a happy camper. It took a while for the Sub to actually go to work but I feel pretty good now, especially since it's only going to cost me $3.15 a month to stay on Sub. I think I can manage on 4mg twice a day and not be fixated on wanting to do Methadone, benzos or smoking weed. I have to go back in 2 weeks to get dropped on so I'll have to manage on it or it's back to the same old grind, and I've had my fill of that.


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PostPosted: Wed May 26, 2010 5:16 pm 
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That's great! And I'm glad your insurance will cover it for you. How are you feeling now? Getting settled? 8 mg a day should take care of your cravings. You said you have to go back in two weeks to "get dropped". I don't understand, is he dropping your dose already after only two weeks? How long are you expected to be on it? Just curious. Most of us report feeling "normal" when we start sub - do you have that feeling as well?

Congrats on your induction and please keep us posted on how you're doing.

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PostPosted: Wed May 26, 2010 5:36 pm 
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By get dropped on, I mean take a urine test to show that I've stayed off other drugs. I advised him I had been taking Methadone, Hydrocodone, Benzos and smoking weed and to give me a chance to clear it from my system. He seems to think 2 weeks should do the job. I hope so.

After posting here last month I ended up doing Sub several times on my own. It didn't buzz me like Methadone, but I didn't have the desire to go out and find other opiates while I was on it. I did end up going back to Methadone, about 120mg a day, but didn't do it long enough to get addicted again.

I feel pretty good right now, a little buzzed. Better than I did when I was dosing myself. If this holds out I don't foresee any problems living my life on Sub. About 8pm tonight I'll take my other 4mg and go from there.

I sure don't want to get to the point I'm addicted to Sub and get a dirty urine. I had to sign a contract, if I come up dirty I won't get my script that month and have to deal with coming off Sub on my own. And from my past experience WD from Methadone, that alone is enough to keep me on the straight and narrow.

Hopefully.


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PostPosted: Wed May 26, 2010 6:09 pm 
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Wow - thanks so much for clarifying that. I was way off :lol: :lol: :lol:

As for the UA, I was under the impression that pot would take up to a month to leave one's system. But the doctor should know that and you already told him you had smoked. You can always buy a drug test at a pharmacy the day before your UA to see how it will come out. Just a thought.

Again, thanks for correcting me - you must have been laughing at my error! I know I am.

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PostPosted: Wed May 26, 2010 6:28 pm 
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Oh, don't feel bad.

I haven't been smoking weed the past week or so. I was more worried about the Benzos taking longer than 2 weeks to clear my system. I asked him about it and he seems to think it should do it, and I've learned you don't argue with them. Cause they know-it-all. At least they think so.

If it does come up dirty I'll throw myself on his mercy and ask that he try me again in another week. I do intend to stay clean and that's all I can do, aside from flood myself with fluids before I make my appt. :p


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PostPosted: Wed May 26, 2010 7:42 pm 
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Two weeks should be more than long enough for you to be clean. Even the longer acting benzos should be gone from your system within 14 days. In fact, so much so that I strongly suggest you not push it and try to take some from this point forward. It would be very rare and close to impossible to test positive for benzos after 14 days off of them. Don't push it.

Plus, you're on the road to success now. With each passing day you'll start to feel better and better and have less and less urge to abuse drugs.

And by the way, dude, $3.15??? You are one lucky guy. I'm lucky to "only" play $40/month. Many here are shelling out $400+ every month for their medication. Consider yourself very lucky to get a month worth of sub for less than a beer and many bars.


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PostPosted: Thu May 27, 2010 1:08 am 
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donh wrote:
And by the way, dude, $3.15??? You are one lucky guy. I'm lucky to "only" play $40/month. Many here are shelling out $400+ every month for their medication. Consider yourself very lucky to get a month worth of sub for less than a beer and many bars.


Believe me, it made my day. When the pharmacist handed me a wad of cash back with my script I thought sheat, this is better than selling drugs. :p

I'm on Medicare and they assign you a drug plan every year automagicaly. I thought I had my current card with me but had to do a couple phone calls to get things straightened out. I have the plan AARP carries and it doesn't cost me anything.

Cost was going to be a big factor whether or not I would be able to stay on Sub. I didn't want to have to resort to selling some of my script to pay for it but didn't see any other option. Now I don't have to trip on it and have the chance to dig myself out of the hole my habit has me in. Every month I was paying for pills I had already done and getting the same amt on a front again. And I don't have to worry about getting busted for possession or dealing. That in itself is priceless.

I tried to get a couple hours sleep once I got home and settled down but was restless. When I got up I took 2mg to see how that was going to make me feel, 6mg a day was the most I've taken, but ended up taking the prescribed 4mg this evening. Now I just feel pretty much normal. No thoughts of trying to find other opiates or anything and not buzzed like I felt earlier. No nausea. I do have a slight headache but can blame that on listening to music through headphones.

If everything continues to go this well it will be a blessing.


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PostPosted: Thu May 27, 2010 10:08 am 
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I woke up this morning feeling great. I forgot what it was like. This is how I used to feel when I woke up in the morning when I was 25 or so, working as a laborer and not actively addicted to opiates. Before I was even fully awake I was thinking I needed to go to the laundrymat today and I usually only go do that chore when I'm full of Methadone.

It was 3am when I went to bed and I probably would have still been asleep if the nosey Census ppl hadn't called and woken me up. I got up and made coffee and called the dr to tell them how well I was doing. I still can't believe how lucky I hit it at the pharmacy either.

I had planned to take my meds as prescribed for 3-4 days then give myself a day or 2 off in an attempt to keep from getting addicted but I'm probably looking at being on this long term anyway. Still, the experiences I've had coming off Methadone are a factor in my mind and I'm afraid this would be much the same if for some reason I didn't have them to take one day. I've walked the line between being physically dependent on Methadone so long, and not always successfully, it's nothing new to me. I'm a worrier but it is a real concern for me and has been since before I started yesterday.

I'm going to advise my bro to make an appt and get on Sub. It sure beats what I've been doing for years.


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PostPosted: Thu May 27, 2010 11:27 am 
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Congrats IHTP !!!

You are a great example to many of us just how big of a change suboxone can make in people's lives.

I thank you for posting about your journey, and I hope you stay an active member of the forum -- and help others as they also look at freedom from opiates. Keep up the good work! I hope your brother has the same success.

--LD


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PostPosted: Thu May 27, 2010 2:14 pm 
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LatheDude wrote:
I hope your brother has the same success.--LD


He didn't want any part of it when I initially told him about it, but I went to see him today to turn him on...to new music. He was in the 5th day coming off a small Methadone habit and I think he is sold on the idea now.

I am anyway. I haven't felt like leaving the house to go see him in weeks and went to the store to get something to eat on my way home. Laundry can wait.


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PostPosted: Thu May 27, 2010 5:34 pm 
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IhateThispart wrote:
And I don't have to worry about getting busted for possession or dealing. That in itself is priceless.


One of my old running m8s called me this afternoon to ask if I'd give him a ride to WallyWorld where they had found his cellphone that had been lost 2 days ago. (I got a strange call from it that night where nobody answered when I picked up and they hung up shortly after.)

When we got out there they said the phone was in Loss Prevention (security) and a guy came and said to follow him, that he had it in his office. When we got there they started to lead him into this little room and I said I'd just wait for him outside.

I thought it was taking him a long time to come out so went to wait by the door, and up rolled a Sheriffs car to haul him off to the slammer on a 10k bond for pillz. Tonight his daughter graduates from college so he won't be attending that.

But he won't be alone, his GF is being held in County too for much the same thing.

And I don't have to sweat it anymore because all that is behind me now. Thank God.


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PostPosted: Fri May 28, 2010 7:41 am 
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Welcome to your life, IHTP :)


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PostPosted: Fri May 28, 2010 9:51 am 
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Thanks, I had forgotten what it was like. There have been days off Methadone when I felt so good I couldn't see why I would want to feel any other way. This is damn close.

Things continue to go smooth as silk, no side effects to speak of. I ate supper but didn't crave sweets or stuff myself. I did start to watch the clock about an hour before I was supposed to dose last night and dosed early, but made up for it this morning by going longer so it evened out.

A female friend of mine called last night and we talked for 2 hours, longer than we have in a long time. I told her about what was going on and she was concerned about the addiction aspect but just said be careful. I told her not to worry, that I was going to marry her someday. She said she'd been waiting to hear that for 5 years, so maybe I was higher than I thought. I've been married 3 times, divorced them all and swore never again after the last time. I'm 53 and my last wife was 14 years younger than me, she's 18 years younger at 35. Sex and opiates is not a problem for me, much the opposite. :p

I've been awake all night but that's my own fault. I made coffee at midnight, something else I haven't done in about 10 years, so I stayed up all night listening to music on the computer. I was going to try to go to sleep this morning but it was time to dose again and could tell I wasn't ready to drop off. I was going to wait but hoped it might make me a little sleepy. We'll see... Now is when I would have taken a benzo but am not going to. I'll sleep sometime.


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PostPosted: Sat May 29, 2010 12:06 am 
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I finally went to sleep about 1pm today once I got everything done and my mind could shut down enough to fall asleep. I slept like the dead for 7 hours and woke up at 8pm, the time I've been taking my evening dose.

After I had been up a little while I went ahead and took my evening 4mg. I've been noticing a little heat flash after dosing but didn't notice anything tonight. Like I hadn't taken it at all, and it was the slightly bigger of the 2 halves. I don't feel buzzed or tweaked where I want to fiddle around with stuff and just sitting calmly watching TV. No thoughts of wanting to do Methadone or get high. I'm still a little tired and could probably go back to bed but it's been a hectic week with very little sleep till today.

In a day or two I might try to go a while without dosing in an attempt to keep from getting addicted but I'll just have to wait and see how things go. I don't want to sabotage myself but don't want to get addicted either. There's not much doubt in my mind though that I will become addicted sooner or later since I'm looking at being on this long term. I just hate to put myself in that situation because of the way Methadone WD effect me and I'm afraid this would be along the same lines. If it was Oxys, Morphine or Hydros I wouldn't give it a second thought.


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PostPosted: Sat May 29, 2010 9:21 am 
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I stayed up till midnight watching TV then went back to sleep for another 4.5 hours, so I slept 11.5 hours yesterday. Not because I was sedated, just worn out, so I don't think I'll have a problem with Sub keeping me from sleeping.

It's been hot and humid here so I submerged myself in cool water when I took a bath and just laid there for a while to get myself centered. It was very relaxing. When I got out I dug out my favorite pair of black jeans I had to put away about 3 years ago because Methadone had put so much weight on me and they fit again. :)

I feel fine today. Not high in the least and don't think I could feel more normal. I even wondered if maybe I could do without Sub. Like maybe it had got me over the hump and I could go on my own, but not likely. Things are going too good now to screw myself up.

I'm not getting any edema in my feet and legs like I would have if I had been taking Methadone the past few days. I am on the verge of a slight headache but nothing like I've had on Oxys or Methadone. Not so bad I need to take aspirin or anything. I couldn't ask for things to be going any better.

I didn't notice any change when I took my morning 4mg. 4mg BID seems to be just right. I'm thankful my doctor didn't want to let me take another 2mg when I inducted. He's a really nice person and the nurses are too. I'm just a lucky MF all around and glad I went thorough with it.


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PostPosted: Sat May 29, 2010 9:35 am 
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IHTP - I'm glad you're doing well and feeling "normal". I wanted to respond to something you said. You mentioned you don't want to get "addicted" to suboxone. First of all, are you not already addicted to opiates? That's why most of us start suboxone, because we are ALREADY addicted. We are DEPENDENT on Suboxone and yes, we will have withdrawal symptoms when we stop. (Unless going off suboxone is done with a long, slow taper - w/d can be very minimal that way).

I say this because I don't want newcomers/guests/lurkers to read that they can be addicted to suboxone. There is a difference between addiction and dependence. Addiction is an obsession to use and is characterized by our behavior - doing anything and everything to get our fix and get high. Those active addiction behaviors don't occur with suboxone when it is used properly. Suboxone helps to put us in "addiction remission".

So yes, you will be dependent on Suboxone, but unless you abuse them, you will not be addicted to them. I simply wanted to clarify that. And again, I'm so glad you seem to have leveled out and are now feeling much better.

Keep us posted on how you're doing.

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-I'm only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand.


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PostPosted: Sat May 29, 2010 9:42 am 
Reading your posts has been very uplifting. Thanks, because I'm in a pretty dark place right now. What concerned me was that you feel so normal you feel you could go without the sub. Trust me, it's the Sub that's making you feel normal. It sounds like you understand that. As I'm sure you've seen from reading this forum there are a lot of docs who understand zero about sub. There are a lot of good docs, though, who are fully educated, and they seem to fall into 2 camps, those who only use sub for detox and those who prescribe it for "maintenence". Even the ones who use it only for detox will keep the patient on it for 12 weeks. So, really, don't even think about going off it yet. Give it time. Enjoy your new found life.


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PostPosted: Sat May 29, 2010 3:32 pm 
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hatmaker510 wrote:
IHTP - I'm glad you're doing well and feeling "normal". I wanted to respond to something you said. You mentioned you don't want to get "addicted" to suboxone. First of all, are you not already addicted to opiates? That's why most of us start suboxone, because we are ALREADY addicted. We are DEPENDENT on Suboxone and yes, we will have withdrawal symptoms when we stop. (Unless going off suboxone is done with a long, slow taper - w/d can be very minimal that way).

I say this because I don't want newcomers/guests/lurkers to read that they can be addicted to suboxone. There is a difference between addiction and dependence. Addiction is an obsession to use and is characterized by our behavior - doing anything and everything to get our fix and get high. Those active addiction behaviors don't occur with suboxone when it is used properly. Suboxone helps to put us in "addiction remission".

So yes, you will be dependent on Suboxone, but unless you abuse them, you will not be addicted to them. I simply wanted to clarify that. And again, I'm so glad you seem to have leveled out and are now feeling much better.

Keep us posted on how you're doing.



I believe I already addressed this issue in my other thread from last month. That thread ended up badly and I only came back to let you all know how things went. I'll address it again this and this time only in an attempt to make myself clear to those who might be from another culture than myself.

Yes, I am an addict and make no bones about it. I'm an addict, I have been since the age of 13 (40 years) and always will be till the day they carry me into the morgue. It's part of who I am and I'm not to be fucked with. I send people to the hospital and don't need to do it twice. I command respect and if I can't have that settle for fear, but can be one of the nicest people you'll ever meet. Just don't fuck with me. Not many do and none more than once.

However I am not now physically dependent on opiates. My doctor knew it when I went in to get inducted from the COWS scale. I was a 1 on the scale but he inducted me anyway because he knows I'm hardcore. That's what I'd like to avoid if at all possible, but would only be fooling myself if I thought I could stay on Sub for an extended period without that happening. I went though cold turkey withdrawals off Demerol in the hospital in a locked room when I was 13. The doctor didn't show his face for 3 days and I had a letter opener ready for him if he would have. So it's no more than a case of the flu for me now coming off most opiates. I'm right as rain in 9 days withdrawing from most opiates and tough it out if it comes to that. I couldn't begin to tell you how many times.

Methadone WD is another matter altogether and is about the only thing that scares me. I can't handle it. I get a feeling of impending doom I can't beat down, shake or get away from. I'm afraid of it, and not afraid to admit it, but not so much that it kept me from doing copious amounts for short periods. I know how to taper off it if need be and been lucky enough to be able to every time. I've never even been through the worst of it and am scared to death of the very thought of having to. I'm also afraid that WD off Sub would be much the same thing for me but taking it anyway. I only pray to God, who watches over me, thankfully, it never comes to that or hits me like Methadone if it does.

You defined it nicely. Let's please leave it at that. This has been a positive experience for me so far, I will not let splitting hairs in a forum over the difference in addiction and dependency make it anything other than that. I'm sorry if I've offended anyone in the least, especially you hatmaker510, and apologize if I have. It was not my intention. You seem like a very nice person. I'm just covered this before and would rather not have had to again. I hope everyone understands the difference now and where I'm coming from. I'm sorry but I felt it necessary.

If Suboxone can help me it can help anybody.


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


My deepest apologies to you too, Lilly. You probably could have done without that. I'm sorry you're having a bad time, I wish I could help. If my ramblings have, it's a blessing.

My doctor is golden. We didn't talk long and not at all about what would go on after I got inducted, but that was fine with me. That's all I wanted ATM. Everyone there from the receptionist on up treated me with nothing but courtesy and respect. No line was drawn between me and any other person who walked through the door. He didn't put me on a huge dose even though I said to give me another 2mg. I didn't know you took it more then once a day and wanted the most I could get but he said lets stop here and I'm glad he did. He shook my hand as I was leaving and said God Bless You. It's too bad everybody can't be treated like that and is a crime in my eyes they aren't.

The people at Walgreens treated me like I owned the place. When my primary coverage wasn't in order the tech spent 15 minutes on the phone with Medicare trying to make it right. When she couldn't I paid cash for the started script just to get out of there and back to the doctors office. I got it straightened out once I got home and called the pharmacy to let them know and that I had another script that needed filled. They said come on out and we'll fix you right up. They even applied my plan to the script I paid for earlier and gave me a refund along with my pills for the difference in my co-pay.

No, I know i can't make it on my own. I never have been able to without drugs so I don't really have a problem being on it long term. It's just that other thingy that bothers me.

I'll try to be more positive from now on so you can hopefully continue to get something out of what I write. I need to stop now, I'm drained.


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PostPosted: Sat May 29, 2010 9:49 pm 
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I took a nap this afternoon for about 1.5 hours, which is my normal routine. I could have slept longer but woke up to go to the bathroom, so sleeping hasn't been a problem for me yet. I thought about going back to bed but it's time for my evening dose.

I'm wondering whether or not to take it tonight. I don't feel the urge or need to and at some point I'm going to have to make up 1.5 pills. Now would be the time to do it. I'll think about it a while.

I went to my bros house this morning and sat out on the deck with him and his wife drinking coffee for a while before it stated getting hot. He mentioned cooking breakfast and it made me hungry as hell for something besides my own cooking. It was noon by then though and we had already left the house. I have an invitation post dated. I used to teach people to cook so I can cook anything but hate doing dishes so never fry anything. Too messy and not good for you anyway. Steak and eggs sure did sound good though. I drove to a restaurant but it was packed with Memorial Day tourists so I settled for Taco Belle. Damn poor substitute for steak and eggs but tasty all the same. I haven't eaten since and it was all I ate today, I still need to lose weight. I may get up early and go tomorrow for it.

Somebody called and wanted me to go with them to pick up a script of Vicodin, but I put it off that the 5mg Hydros made me sick because I had to take so many of them. That my liver can't handle all that Acetaminophen. I hate a lair and a thief but it's the truth and omission of facts isn't really a lie. And he's a thief. If he knew I was taking Sub would beg and pester me too much. I don't have a problem saying No but he doesn't understand what that means. He called 3 times this afternoon trying to get me out of my apt. My bro is the only one that knows I'm on it. He's the only one I can trust.


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PostPosted: Sat May 29, 2010 10:51 pm 
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It's part of who I am and I'm not to be fucked with. I send people to the hospital and don't need to do it twice. I command respect and if I can't have that settle for fear, but can be one of the nicest people you'll ever meet. Just don't fuck with me. Not many do and none more than once.


IHTP - Are you threatening Hatmaker, or is this just for our general information?

FYI, personal attacks are against forum rules. I don't really know if this is an attack or a threat or if you're just spouting off for some reason, so I'd appreciate some clarification from you. Thanks.

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