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PostPosted: Sun May 30, 2010 12:51 am 
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Bye.


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PostPosted: Sun May 30, 2010 3:02 pm 
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Well that was really mature.


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PostPosted: Sun May 30, 2010 3:24 pm 
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I guess now we know what happens if we "fuck with him."

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PostPosted: Sun May 30, 2010 8:19 pm 
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Ummmmm :?:


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PostPosted: Mon May 31, 2010 8:38 pm 
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I'm not quite tough enough to be able to brag about it on the interwebz for no reason yet. I'll get there soon though, and look out when I do!

Bye!


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PostPosted: Mon May 31, 2010 10:58 pm 
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this guy is 53 and yet acts like hes 13

what a douche


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 07, 2010 4:25 am 
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I don't think he was threatening anybody... I mean, he stated clearly that he didn't mean to hurt anyone's feelings and even apopolgized personally to Hatmaker and Lily for the misunderstanding. And then he just left cuz, you know... some of us junkies are really sensitive and self-conscious, and aggression is just another form of fear... maybe he felt he was not welcome here. I always try to be very careful with what I write - not say, you can hear me blurt out many outrageous thigs, - but write, especially in forums and chats, and that's why - people usually don't read texts word-for-word, they have certain words that work like "keys", or "highlights", by catching their eye, and the rest is sorta background noise that gets its tone from what the "key" meant to the reader. I'm sorry I can't be moreclear on the subject, I'm not a psychologist, but- just for fun - I've heard of many cases when some1 went and killed himself, or attacked some other person, or even ended up a psych patient - over some stuff he READ (not heard!) in a letter, a book, or a personal message - since the reader cannot see our expression and hear our voice, every word we type can be interpreted in more ways than one. So maybe iHateThisPart having a short fuse and all, got the impression the forum was actually threatening _him_ :) and left efore the things got out of hand. Just my opinion, of course.

Anyway, maybe we should be a little more tolerant, more forgiving... people have weaknesses, you should know that better than anyone :) iHateThisPart said - nobody but his brother knows about him trying to get clean, so maybe this forum could be a place where he felt free to be himself, to share, to find understanding - and if his personality is less than perfect... well... IMO, if a person is not threatening to come to your house and cut your throat (or tires) :) maybe we should give him a chance and not brand him a "douche" :) for some unfortunate choice of words.

Once again, just my opinion. We are free ppl, free to like or dislike anyone we want. It's just there's so much confusion going on about Sub nowadays, nothing is 100% sure, so IMO anyone's personal experience and their comments can be valuable...

Sorry, again... best of luck to everyone.

Sorry, again,

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PostPosted: Mon Jun 07, 2010 8:26 am 
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Are you intimating that by reminding a member of the forum rules and asking for clarification is tantamount to being intolerant and unforgiving? Yes, people have weaknesses, but that doesn’t negate their accountability. I, like many others, have been a member of this community for over a year and frankly I resent the implication that we’ve done anything to make anyone feel unwelcome. Just because someone is a fellow addict doesn’t mean they must be handled with kid gloves (that’s not to say anything that was said was in any way harsh). On this forum everyone should - at the very least - be held to the standard of respecting each other. IHATETHISPART, by using such threatening language – even if it was in cyberspace – showed no respect whatsoever. The fact that he was called out on it does not make anyone unforgiving or intolerant.

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PostPosted: Mon Jun 07, 2010 10:37 am 
Thanks mathAn for your comments. I didn't comment before because quite frankly I didn't understand what Ihatethispart was pissed about and I didn't know what he was apologizing to me for.
But the truth is under some other threads I've seen some really harsh replies that have made me very uncomfortable. I think we need to take a deep breath before we commit something to writing. I think you're right. Harsh words seem even harsher when they're put into print. This isn't to say that we shouldn't insist that people follow the rules of the fourm, because they should. I've just seen several people disappear after being told off, and they're usually just misguided people that could probably learn a lot from sticking around here.
Thanks for speaking up.
Lilly


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 07, 2010 11:36 am 
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You know, I didn't kick him off the forum. I didn't even give him an official warning or anything. I just asked him to clarify his statements. More than one person expressed concern or complained to a moderator about what he said, and when that happens I have to do something.

The moderators here are all volunteers who spend a significant amount of time trying to make sure the forum is welcoming and safe. We do it because we care about this place and about the members here. We all try to do our best, but we are not perfect, and if you have a specific issue with the way a moderator handled something, I would love to hear about it so that we can address the issue and try to make it better. I feel bad hearing that people are feeling uncomfortable because of things moderators have said, but I need that info if I'm going to try to rectify the situation.

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PostPosted: Mon Jun 07, 2010 11:54 am 
Interesting points have been made here. I think MathAn said something about how when we read some material, we pick up on certain words or statements sometimes. Those statements to one person, might barely be absobed, but by another reader, they are all they see of the entire post. We all have our own backgrounds. We all come from a different place and are presently at a different place. I personally didn't perceive IHTP's comments as 'threatening.' To me, it was just an unstable addict trying to get stabilized on bupe, spouting off and trying to say, essentially, "please don't question me about this stuff....I've already been challenged on it and I don't care to be challenged again." Did he choose his words properly? NO! Was he inappropriate? YES. I find no fault with how he was responded to either. When he was questioned about his motives, he had a few choices.....let it roll off, let the thread die and continue to participate on the forum, OR acknowledge his mistake, apologize and continue on the forum, OR do what he did - get offended and disappear. His choice and he made it.
I think if anyone is going to stay around here for long, they're bound to get their feelings hurt, their toes stepped on, or be offended in some way. Sometimes people even choose to get extremely offended when they're corrected for giving misinformation on the forum. That one really gets me. You can't just accept that you posted something without doing your research.....you put something out there for all to see as if it is truth and it's not.....and when your information is questioned, you not only get offended, you get downright pissed off about it and attack the one who has corrected your mistake.
I guess all I'm saying is that you can't please everyone all the time! There's no reason to be overly sensitive or overly insensitive. If there is a person out there who has never been guilty of either....I'd like to meet him/her! We all have our moments! If a member decides to move away from posting here....that is their choice. I don't participate in any other forums because I quickly found this one to be the most reliable. It will take more than an episode or two of me pissing someone off or them pissing me off, to run me out of here!
I don't think Hatmaker did anything wrong here. She interpreted IHTP's words as threatening to her and he was questioned on it. He chose to take off......so "bye and good luck" is about all we can say.


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 Post subject: I Agree
PostPosted: Mon Jun 07, 2010 1:58 pm 
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Just want to put my $.02 in here......
I couldn't agree more with what DAQ & SMF have said here. As Moderators we set ourselves up for some criticism just with that title . And that's fine most of us have been around here for a while and have grown some thick skin.. For example when I screwed up at our first meeting by bouncing someone for a joke that I wasn't in on. I forfeited my Moderator pay for that week and donated it to charity.... LOL. But seriously I think hatmaker had every right to question where that post was coming from. I found it threatening but it wasn't directed to me just my honest opinion that's All. If the person decides not to come back well that's their choice. I hate to see it because I think people can get a lot of help out here by posting their problems and solutions so we can all learn from them. Anyways I've said enough on this topic time to move on at least for me.... I wish everyone continued success in their Recovery and please keep those great post' coming!!!!

God Bless
TW

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PostPosted: Wed Jun 09, 2010 11:18 am 
Just to claritfy: I don't have an issue with anything the moderators have said. In fact I think they're doing a great job and I appreciate the time they take to reply to people with thoughtful and helpful comments. I was just responding to mathAn's post as an opportunity to express my discomfort with some of what I've read on other threads lately. Everything from name calling to accusations (someone accused a moderator of being a liar) and people saying things like "bite me". I know we are in the fight for our lives here, and we rightfully feel strongly about things. I'm just hoping that if a post really pisses us off, we can wait a while before we reply or try to diffuse the situation, instead of adding fuel to the fire.


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PostPosted: Wed Jun 09, 2010 2:35 pm 
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I create web sites for a living. I've been at it for about 11 years now. I also happen to moderate about a dozen forums right now. (most of those are either technical support or music related) Moderating and administering internet forums is a thankless and difficult task on web sites where the membership is NOT made up of people who are already carrying a TON of emotional baggage. Doing it on a site like THIS requires a LOT of patience, careful consideration, tolerance and understanding.

My observation here has been that the moderators do a very commendable job. I've not seen any type of overreach or heavy-handedness, I've not seen anyone on a power trip, and I've seen difficult and sensitive situations handled with class, dignity and respect.

In this particular thread (and in some others) there have been some comments made that made even ME - a guy who spent almost two decades in one of the most dangerous prisons in this country - a little bit uncomfortable.

I would like to commend the moderators here and I think we should all thank them for their tireless, unpaid, work in keeping this forum a safe place for anyone who needs help to come and get it without feeling like they will be harassed, ridiculed, belittled or threatened with violence. Of the many message boards I visit, both as an end-user and as a server administrator and/or forum moderator, this is one of the best run boards of the entire bunch, and I for one am thankful to the people who make that a reality here every day.


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 Post subject: well said
PostPosted: Wed Jun 09, 2010 4:06 pm 
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J.781--very well said, thank you! I'm pretty new to this forum and so far have been continuously impressed by the moderators. I have barely delved into any other suboxone forums because I haven't seen any that are anything close to the quality of this one, both in terms of how the sites are set up AND the quality of the posts. It seems like most of the regulars on this site are exceptionally thoughtful and articulate people, and I think the moderators really help set the tone for that. I second everything J.781 said above and also extend my appreciation to all the moderators for helping keep the quality of this forum so high.


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PostPosted: Wed Jun 09, 2010 5:17 pm 
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Amen


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PostPosted: Wed Jun 09, 2010 8:21 pm 
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I create software for a living, and web sites as well. I made all the mods for this site and spent many hours merging, adding tables, uploading, downloading, etc to make it what it is today. Maybe you and I can talk shop sometime cause there are a few things I'd like to run past you regarding web stuff :)

Thanks for the compliments and I will make sure the other mods see this. I am more of a 'background' type because I am very busy working these days, but I am also a forum admin so I do the banning, feeds, etc.

Its very difficult dealing with some users. About once a month, we get a real nutcase that will bombard the doc with threats for instance (a few stand out in my mind). One went to the doc and begged to come back after I banned him just to ridicule the moderator he had a difference with. Boy did that piss me off.

You are right that a lot of users are already carrying baggage and its easy to lose sight of that, but overall I remember that we are helping others, or at least trying to. I helped the doc set this up because of his drive to help others even without pay in his free time to get the message out, so it was an honor to do it for him.

junkie781 wrote:
I create web sites for a living. I've been at it for about 11 years now. I also happen to moderate about a dozen forums right now. (most of those are either technical support or music related) Moderating and administering internet forums is a thankless and difficult task on web sites where the membership is NOT made up of people who are already carrying a TON of emotional baggage. Doing it on a site like THIS requires a LOT of patience, careful consideration, tolerance and understanding.

My observation here has been that the moderators do a very commendable job. I've not seen any type of overreach or heavy-handedness, I've not seen anyone on a power trip, and I've seen difficult and sensitive situations handled with class, dignity and respect.

In this particular thread (and in some others) there have been some comments made that made even ME - a guy who spent almost two decades in one of the most dangerous prisons in this country - a little bit uncomfortable.

I would like to commend the moderators here and I think we should all thank them for their tireless, unpaid, work in keeping this forum a safe place for anyone who needs help to come and get it without feeling like they will be harassed, ridiculed, belittled or threatened with violence. Of the many message boards I visit, both as an end-user and as a server administrator and/or forum moderator, this is one of the best run boards of the entire bunch, and I for one am thankful to the people who make that a reality here every day.

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PostPosted: Thu Jun 10, 2010 6:51 am 
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jamez70 wrote:
I create software for a living, and web sites as well. I made all the mods for this site and spent many hours merging, adding tables, uploading, downloading, etc to make it what it is today. Maybe you and I can talk shop sometime cause there are a few things I'd like to run past you regarding web stuff :)

[/quote]

I'd be happy to help out in any way I can, just as long as you realize I am a Microsoft/SQL/ASP.NET guy and can fit my knowledge of PHPbb and MySQL in a thimble :lol:

My development platform of choice is actually DotNetNuke (I'm sure you've heard of it)

Although I will admit that I've setup and still to this day administer a couple of vBulletin sites (PHP/MySQL)....those were a real stretch for me.


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PostPosted: Sat Jun 12, 2010 8:21 am 
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Thanks for the recognition!

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