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PostPosted: Wed Feb 24, 2016 7:51 pm 
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Hi I am new this forum and am trying to seek some advice on my certain situation. I have been on suboxone for going on 28 months, started out on 16mg/day and recently tapered down to 4mg a day! ( half of an 8mg strip) the month before last when I went to my doctor appt, I found out that I would have to start paying $600 a month when I had been paying 250 bucks monthly for my doctor appointment. I realized there was no way I could afford this so I quickly started looking for another doctor and found one that was a fraction of the cost! So when I went in for my appt, I lied to him that I had tapered down to 4mg and asked him for 8mg a day and got it. I probably could have gotten whatever I wanted but didn't want anymore then 8 mg. day. But I guess what I'm trying to ask is with this jump in dosage after trying so hard to taper myself down to 4mg a day and now 8mg a day, I'm scared I'm gonna be on this medicine for life! I feel like I have been in this medicine long enough and I want a way out and am jus making matters worse by goof back up but at the same time I feel like I need to be on 8mg a day or my recovery could be at risk! Please help


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PostPosted: Wed Feb 24, 2016 10:08 pm 
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Hi! Welcome! You have found a great forum with a ton of great advice from great people. My personal experience with this medication is so unlike full opiates, as in if you take more or don't wean by a certain time, you feel like you're displaying addict behavior. Suboxone is quite different, each dose is very personalized and as your system heals it will let you know when to cut your dose. I've been on this med longer, and just now got down to 8 mgs as ten mgs started to make me feel medicated all of the sudden. The ideal thing is to find a dose that makes you feel most vibrant but without withdrawal symptoms and definitively without cravings. Going back to 8 mgs is much better than a relapse. Oh, and please remember I'm not a doctor :) do what makes you feel most normal and don't feel guilty with the raise, 8mg isn't a terribly high dose at all. I'm sure one of the many great moderators will be along shortly, or maybe even the great Dr. Junig.

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PostPosted: Wed Feb 24, 2016 11:00 pm 
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Thank you for your reply! I forgot to mention one of the biggest discouragements of going back up to 8mg is the people I have supporting me doesn't know that I have doubled my dosage again and I'm scared to find out what they mite say if they do find out! But if it was up to I would stay on 8mg for life! I jus wish they could understand what I'm going through! It jus makes me feel like I'm an addict again jus knowing that if they find out and so on!


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PostPosted: Thu Feb 25, 2016 2:38 am 
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Hello and welcome,

I think you have already answered your own question. If your even slightly concerned your recovery my be at risk, I would suggest you stick to 8mg. You have tapered to 4mg previously and know what to expect, for when you become ready to drop again. Life is not going anywhere (especially if your on a safe dosage that covers your cravings and prevents you from using again) so there is no need to hurry getting off.
It sounds to me like your wanting to lower your dose back to 4mg due to outside influences. If your support network had more understanding and information on suboxone, I think they would realise your recovery is potentially at a high risk of relapse, if they are pushing you to lower too quickly.

This is just my opinion. I am not a doctor, just someone who has had the same feeling of lowering just make other people happy. It ended up with me relapsing. So now its a decision only my doctor and myself make.

Good Luck and please just do what you feel is right for you. If you taper too fast just to please others such as your support people - and relapse or OD, im sure they would regret pushing you. Try to educate them if possible. There is a fountain of information on this site.
Your doing really well so be kind to yourself and only do what is right for you, don't be a people pleaser. I know its easier said than done but this can be a life or death decision, so just give it a go. You may not feel the need to stay on 8mg for too long so try not to stress too much ok.
keep us updated please
Mel


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PostPosted: Thu Feb 25, 2016 11:46 am 
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Thank you so much for your advice! I'm gonna do exactly as u say and not worry what others might think/say. It's jus hard to exclude someone when they have been with u all this time to every doc appt, every drug screen and every counseling session for the past 2 years! I have an upcoming Doctor appt to renew my script on Friday of next week and i know shes gonna wanna go to my appointment with me (it my grandma) but it's like I have to lie to her about when I actually go so she doesn't know anything! It's jus a messed up situation all over a little increase in my life saving medication!


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PostPosted: Thu Feb 25, 2016 3:20 pm 
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Hey Aussc :)

I agree with pugmommy & Mel, in recovery u gotta only think about urself and what is gonna work for u. I totally understand about wanting to please ur grandmother, I'm like that too with my mom lol she's extremely supportive and always asking questions, but that doesn't mean I'm always gonna be able to tell her what she wants to hear. She thinks I should have already gotten off sub by now, she doesn't understand how it exactly works. I've not gotten into the conversation about I'm probably going to be a lifer on this medication. It's not up to her and she's not an addict, so I just don't discuss the details. Bless her heart I'm just happy she's supportive. So I understand about the pressure to always keep those ppl who's supportive happy, but don't let it ruin ur recovery because ur the addict not them. Ur doing the right thing, only u know what dose works. Don't feel guilty for that.

I have an idea about how ur grandmother wants to go to the Dr with u, tell her ur new Dr doesn't allow anyone else to come in with u. My Dr doesn't allow it, so it not far fetched at all to tell her that. Sometimes we addicts feel pressure to please the ppl we hurt during active addiction, I totally understand that. Just know that ur doing the right thing by upping ur dose if u needed to. Glad ur here!!!

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PostPosted: Thu Feb 25, 2016 4:22 pm 
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Thank you so much for your advice! I know I say this every post but it is really nice to be able to get advice from other people who share the same experiences as I do! After thinking about what you guys have said and taking other things into consideration, I think it's best that I stay on 8mg for a while longer and not worry about pushing myself to go down further! To be honest this is the first thing I have done in the two years that I have been on sub to reach out to others and try and leverage my recovery with something besides jus medication and I feel ashamed for that! I really wish I could push myself to get more counseling and go to meetings! I have only done the rehired counciling that my old Doctor required but my new doctor doesn't require me to have counciling!


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