It is currently Thu Aug 17, 2017 1:41 am



All times are UTC - 5 hours [ DST ]


Our Sponsors





Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 4 posts ] 
Author Message
PostPosted: Wed May 08, 2013 10:59 pm 
Offline
New Poster
New Poster

Joined: Wed May 08, 2013 10:26 pm
Posts: 1
. Guess I need to jump rite into it. I've been on suboxone for 7 years and I started taking this medication after I was detoxed from loritabs for exactly 7 days. I always thought that this medication was for me and my husband to maintain on this for life as we were told that it was medication like wat alcoholics take not to drink cause it would make them sick and that's how we were told that this medication was also. Took 3 8mg a day and my husband was prescribed 4 8mg pills a day. Did this for 5 years and then our doctor became on a list that our insurance wouldn't cover the meds and luckily that same day found a doctor that put us on a taper program and he seemed to not trust us and would take blood and urine every visit monitoring everything. Which was ok with us we just wanted him to trust us. Now when we became patients, it was noticeable that he was a pain pill doctor and had some of the rowdiest people in his waiting room at all Times and we were so confused by wat he was giving them as medication cause he made sure that all meds were filled at one pharmacy and we would see the outrageous amounts of meds he was giving these people. Well as time went on and our tapering continued we jumped from 3/4 8mg pills to now taking strips and its been 14 months and were on a quarter of a 8 mg strip a day and felt like we were forced to taper fast. It is ok though cause we are both ready to be completely off the subs. Now that is my history. My question is that my husband is ready to be done with it all and I am too I am just scared of the getting back to normal process and as of 10 days ago he thinks I'm not taking the subs anymore but I have been cutting small pieces of some I had hidden from him to try and do it slowly but now I am to the end and have to try and detox after he thinks I've done it already and he's extremely controlling but not in a bad way, he always tells me he knows wats best and that he's tired of paying the visits and that after I am all the way better and back to myself that he will detox himself and in the meantime he's taking the subs and feeling good and I'm so mentally stressed that I have no one to talk too. I don't need any critisium cause I get plenty of that,I'd just like to hear from someone that might be able to tell me that it will get better , even though in my eyes it seems like everybody's life is goin on and mine has just stopped and also I'm hated by his family members due to him goin to work and goin to his family members letting them all know how I was on this and now I am getting off and will be a lot easier to get along with, I won't be so quiet and not say anything cause in his mind I won't give people a chance and that's why I have no friends. If anyone can help me get through this. :oops:


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu May 09, 2013 12:16 am 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member

Joined: Mon May 21, 2012 4:38 pm
Posts: 386
I think you need to talk to him about this more.
I also think you need to really think about it.
What will it be like afterwards? How will I stay clean? How will I deal with life issues?

There is a lot that goes into this.

I jumped at a semi high dose and ended up back on it due to not working on myself the while time I was on subs and thought had this under control. Jumped. Found out just how wrong I was. This disease doesn't get easier to manage after suboxone just because you haven't been in active addiction for a long time.

It's just a huge realization all at once and it just sounds like you aren't ready to jump just yet.

Think about the after with your husband. It's much harder than you think it is being an opiate addict without and sort of help.

Good luck.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu May 09, 2013 11:52 am 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Fri Mar 08, 2013 1:02 pm
Posts: 1342
Location: West Tennessee
Hi Holly,

Wow, you are in a tough spot. While I can't say I understand exactly how you feel, I have a pretty good idea. It is so hard to go through all this stuff when you have so much pressure from your husband. Holly, you really need to realize that you can't get sober to make someone else happy. You have to do it for yourself, and in a way that feels comfortable to you.

My husband is pretty controlling too, and on top of that he really doesn't understand addiction. I have been on suboxone for a little over a year, and I am finally down to .75mg per day. But let me tell you, it has been a long road. And I have only recently started winning the battle. I was under so much pressure from my husband to taper off the suboxone that I kept screwing it up. I would take extra and run out almost every month, because I wasn't ready to do it. I was heading for failure. If I hadn't taken control of my recovery and made my husband understand that all his threats were having the OPPOSITE effect of what he desired, I would never be where I'm at now. I had a total shift in thinking, and I finally felt empowered to stand up for myself. It has made all the difference for me! Now, when I hear negative thinking and people doubting that I can or will be able to stay sober, I get mad and it gives me more resolve to prove them wrong!

I only told you that so you would understand what I have been through, and hopefully through me sharing you can see that you can do it too. You have to make your husband understand that you have to do this because you want to. Not because he wants you to. I know that men are hard headed sometimes, and this conversation will not be easy to have. But it would be so much easier for you if you could have support from him instead of threats. And I have to say, it's pretty crappy of him to make you come off when he is still taking them. That's not very supportive.

You said you were taking tiny pieces. Do you know how many mg's you are taking per day? Or even if they are pieces from an 8mg strip or a 2mg strip? If you can share that it would help us give you better advice on how to continue your taper and get off with as little problem as possible.

BTW, I understand if you feel like you can't talk to your husband. If you just don't think it will be possible then we will be here to give you the support you will need. While we might make suggestions based on what we feel would be best for you, we are more than willing to accept the decision you make and support you through it. You are going to need someone who will not judge you for your choices, and you have come to the right place for that.

Good luck Holly, please let us know how you are doing.


Top
 Profile  
 
Our Sponsors
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu May 09, 2013 2:06 pm 
Offline
Moderator
Moderator
User avatar

Joined: Thu Feb 23, 2012 4:42 am
Posts: 4127
Holly, I'm having trouble getting a read on your relationship with your husband. From what I'm reading it seems like your husband may have an amount of control over you that isn't healthy for you. I don't like hearing that you are all alone and have no one to turn to. When he told his family about your addiction, did he mention his? Why would they hate you and not have the same feelings toward him? Where is your family? Can they be any support to you?

I don't mean to badger you with these questions, but it bothers me that you seem powerless in this relationship.

But let us know if you just want this to be a place where you can vent, and not have such questions asked of you. I don't want to compound your problems by being a nebbynose.

You will get through this, Holly. Detox takes several weeks and you may not feel back to normal for quite a while, but you will heal. You will start to feel better.

Let us know what you really need. If it's assurances that things will improve, we can do that. If it's the support you need to be able to talk to your husband, we can do that too. Welcome to the forum.

Amy

_________________
Done is better than perfect!


Top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 4 posts ] 

All times are UTC - 5 hours [ DST ]


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
Our Sponsors
Suboxone Forum latest topics RSS feed Subscribe to the entire forum
 

 

 
Fond Du Lac Psychiatry
Dr. Jeffrey Junig, M.D., Ph.D.

  • Board Certified Psychiatrist
  • Asst Clinical Professor, Medical College of Wisconsin

Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group