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 Post subject: Frustrated in Alabama
PostPosted: Mon Dec 21, 2009 12:36 am 
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Joined: Sun Dec 20, 2009 11:32 pm
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I am 40 and started using percs, vicodin, and lortab at 17 from a basic whiplash injury. I progressed to 130mg. methadone and meth in '97 which lasted until march 30th '09. I was dying and finally asked for help. I went to a rapid detox facility on april 7th this year. It was the only way I could get clean. I was injected with 130mg. buprenorphine after I was fully detoxed from methadone. Long story semi-short, I am still on suboxone and an add drug(I'm not even add but the hospital insisted). I tried stopping suboxone this past sept. at 2mg. and lasted 8 days before I ran screaming to a doc to get back on suboxone. Now, I am having a more difficult time tapering. I find myself taking an extra 2mg in the evening. I'm suppose to be at 4mg. period. My doc doesn't even pay attention to what I am taking. I must sound like a whiner but I need some input from someone who has been there. My town is small and no NA meetings available. I should be strong enough! At least I have abstained from any other drugs so that should be a small victory.


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PostPosted: Mon Dec 21, 2009 12:02 pm 
Hi Springer10 and welcome to the forum! I just read your post and oddly enough, I had just replied to another thread on this section of the forum called "Ultram, the nonaddictive drug". You might want to read that real quick as I went on a little rant about how doctors keep writing scripts for pain without enough documentation to verify the necessity of all these narcotics. Sounds like that might apply to you.
I'm sorry for what you've been through, but it seems like you are on the right track with your attempts to get better. You've been an addict for a very long time and you have not been on Suboxone for very long. I think you need to give yourself a break here. What's your hurry in tapering and getting off? Being at 4mg/day or even 8mg/day at this point in your recovery is not unreasonable at all. A lot of people stay at that dose for years. You said you tried to stop at 2mg/day after being on Sub for 5 months or so and you weren't able to make it. That's okay - for one thing, you tried to stop at too high a dose; for another thing, you probably hadn't been on Sub long enough yet. I personally think you deserve a big pat on the back for going back to Suboxone rather than relapsing on your former drugs of choice!
Just slow down, continue educating yourself about addiction, work on yourself from every angle, get therapy if possible, work on your healthy relationships, work on yourself physically (nutrition, exercise, etc), participate here on the forum. Do anything and everything you can to get your life back on track. As you do these things, I think you'll see that your Suboxone becomes something more in the background of your existence instead of the foreground. You'll become less consumed with taking it, you'll be able to decrease your dose slowly, and then if you choose you'll probably be able to come off of it at some point.
I've been on Sub for 5 1/2 months and I really feel like I'm just now getting to the point of stability in a lot of ways. I've been able to reduce down to 3mg/day with little trouble at all. What I have found is that if I don't focus on what my dose is and just go with what my body is telling me to do, I can decrease the dose with ease. I've not been real rigid about it either. If I feel I need it as I'm decreasing, I'll take a small extra dose in the evening. I figure "so what? I'm taking extra Sub, not extra oxycodone or whatever" and eventually my dose will continue to go down. Does that make any sense?
Again, give yourself a break. You've accomplished a lot in the past six months considering where you started! It sounds to me like you're working to get your life back. So slow down and take your time. There is lots of encouragement here, so keep posting!


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